Irvine awoke and realized two things at once: he had way too much Galbadian Pure vodka last night, and he had to get to the bathroom as fast as he could.
The vodka that had helped him last night only hindered him this morning, throwing itself around in his stomach like choppy ocean waves. His stomach reacted to each wave with a wave of its own, the nausea intensely compacting his stomach in on itself, threatening to empty with each and every spasm.
Irvine would be damned if he was going to have a hangover. He had things that he needed to do today, and as much as he would have liked to escape to the clubs of Deling, his ties and responsibilities to the Garden took precedence.
He junctioned the Brothers, who seemed to be a little groggy themselves from the hard night. That happened sometimes, when Guardians became closely tied to the people that they served. They began to bond, to become closer than two separate entities, almost as if being so close to a person granted them their own humanity. It was still being looked into in Esthar, and the scientists there were quick to dispel the rumor, but Irvine knew it was true. He and the Brothers had been through a lot together, and even if that meant that there were weird magical bonds between them, he couldn't just let them go. He couldn't let any of his Guardians go.
Esuna The magic poured over him, starting from his head and pouring down his body. It felt like somebody had cracked an egg over his head and the whites were dripping from his brow. Odd.
He slipped out of junction. He didn't see a point in draining power from Guardians all day when he wasn't in any immediate danger.
A shower. That was what he needed. Esuna didn't help with lack of sleep, and from what he could remember, it had been four in the morning when he got back...and it was six now. So shower first, coffee after.
Squall was already up. Had been all night. Now he was standing on what was once the flight deck for the Garden, when it had been mobile. After defeating Ultimecia, they had returned Balamb back to its old location. There had been no need to wander about- that's why they had the Ragnarok. So, until there was another sorceress battle, it would remain where it had been since he could remember.
Raised about twenty feet above the ground of the office, the flight deck offered a magnificent view of the surrounding area. The forest nestled against the edges of the Garden, lovely to look upon and offering practical shade and a slight hindrance for any invading forces. Beyond that were the plains, long and flat, stretching to the coastline.
And then there was the coast. Squall often found himself in this same position on most days: trying to get work done, but always ending up standing, gazing out to the ocean, and the repetition of the waves crashing in, pulling out, an endless cycle.
Maybe he liked staring at the waves because they reminded him of Irvine. Or more accurately, of he and Irvine making love. Irvine crashing in, pulling out...a cycle of his own, sometimes seeming endless with the control that he held. Squall's brow crinkled in a frown. He wasn't going to think about Irvine anymore. He hadn't been able to do anything else all night, and it wasn't only his own time that he was wasting, it was the Garden's as well.
He heard a click and the buzz of the elevator to the flight deck. Great. It seemed like he had not had a single moment of privacy since Cid had appointed him commander. Yeah, he had adapted since then, come out of his shell a little, but he still longed for the time he had had to himself when he was only a cadet, only a SeeD.
Squall continued to gaze across the forests and the plains to the sea as the elevator ascended.
"Commander," the intruder said, using his title as a greeting. From the pause after, she was saluting, even if he wasn't facing her. "Commander, I've come to report."
He turned to face Xu, leaving a bit of a frown on his face for a fleeting second, just his way of telling her that he hated the way she always interrupted any private moment he had, no matter how small. She looked slightly hurt for a brief moment, but she too was an expert of hiding her emotions. Her face slid behind her usual mask, slightly amused with a hint of a smile in her eyes. How she had been able to perfect the eyes was beyond Squall. Maybe he'd ask her one day.
"The reports of Galbadian forces occupying Trabia Garden have been confirmed," Xu began. There wasn't any hint of anger or sadness in her voice. Squall felt bad for snapping at her. He had always been bad at dealing with anger, or any emotions for that matter. His closest friends always ended up being his emotional punching bags. He would apologize to her. Later. He swore it.
Xu shuffled a little from foot to foot, betraying her otherwise collected front. "The group we sent to Trabia returned early this morning, and they didn't have much to report. It seems that the Galbadians have managed to keep this very private. Other than the fact that they are occupying Trabia, they haven't made public their intentions."
"Who am I kidding…we all know what's really going on here, Squall," Xu said, ambition and anger flowing to her eyes. "Galbadia has been talking about the advantages a mobile military base would hold. The power it could give them. Trabia has just finished rebuilding...and the lack of students made it childishly easy to overtake. We shouldn't waste anytime, Squall." Xu took a step toward him, close enough that she had to look up to meet his eyes. "We need to nullify the threat before it becomes impossible," she breathed.
She was so close to him, so alive, her eyes searching his. She smelled of vanilla, the scent light and flowery, intoxicating him with every breath. The look that had crossed her face when he had glared at her was familiar. Squall thought that it was probably close to the same that his face had held when he had caught Irvine. Xu mistook the grimace from the memory as being directed at her, and her happy mask wavered.
Oh what the hell. Squall bent his head, closing the space between them, his eyes closing a second before his lips found hers. Xu squealed gently in surprise, but after the initial shock, she melted under his lips, her hands wrapping around his neck.
He kissed her gently; his lips pressed softly against hers, so soft, tasting of peppermint, the gloss she wore making his lips glide across hers like velvet. Xu opened her mouth slightly, licking Squall's bottom lip quickly, before thrusting it against the seam of his closed mouth.
He looked down into her face, and Xu had her eyes closed still. The passion and heat shown on her face told Squall that she had probably been looking forward to this moment for a long time. He immediately felt guilty. He had just meant for the kiss to be a...friendly gesture. He had just wanted to cheer her up, to tell her he was sorry. Or maybe he had unknowingly adopted some of Irvine's lust. When had his first reaction to a hurting friend ever been to kiss their pain away?
He didn't feel like that about Xu. She was very pretty. And so damn smart, in a very sexy, authoritative way. But Squall couldn't help but feel as if her were leading her on. And he was still shaken that he had pounced on Xu. He just wasn't like that; support by physical intimacy was usually Irvine's policy, not his.
He reached behind his neck, and gently unclasped Xu's hands, guiding them to her sides. Her ebony eyes opened slowly, and they rapidly flicked back and forth, searching his face for signs as to why they had stopped. Squall gave her a gentle smile, trying desperately to force a warmth into his eyes that they normally didn't hold on their own. Dammit, it was too bad that he was an expert of icy glares, not warm smiles like the façade that Xu wore.
"Begin making preparations to send a group of SeeDs to Trabia to nix the Galbadians' pursuits at once," Squall said in his best commander voice, lending neither warmth nor coldness to his tone. The comment was meant to be taken at face value, and only that. He would just act as if the kiss never happened.
Xu, however, wanted the kiss to resume. And she was going to replay that moment over and over again. She licked her lips, and slid them together, like she was applying Squall's saliva as a balm. She bit her bottom lip slowly as Squall talked, and as he finished, her attempt at a seductive smile faded. It was over. She slipped into a particularly perky grin.
"Of course, Commander," she said, trying to catch his eyes, which he avoided expertly. "I'll contact you after preparations are made, and you can select a party to send." She saluted, winked coyly, and took the elevator out of his office.
When he heard the door close, he turned and looked over the ocean again. All he had wanted was a little peace and quiet. And now he was no better than Irvine.
The pot of coffee was better than the pit of sleepiness that threatened to wash over him and consume him like a gigantic tidal wave. But if he were granted a choice between the two, Irvine would have chosen to listen to the complaints that his body was making, and he would have been far gone into a deep, deep rest. Ideally. Ideals were good and all, but they didn't put clothes on your back, so Irvine was making his way to the elevator to meet with the Commander for mission briefing. Just the person he wanted to see first thing in the morning.
Irvine yawned, a monstrous, jaw-cracking thing that caused a deep shudder to thrum throughout his body. Hyne was he ever tired.
Soft, quick footsteps behind him filtered the unrest from his bones, and he turned with a huge grin on his face to see Selphie, who leapt off of the ground and into his arms, almost throwing him off balance on the stairs before the lift. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he cupped her ass lightly in his hands. No, they had never had sex, and he knew Selph wasn't planning to anytime soon, so he kept it relatively innocent. As much as he could.
Selphie cocked her head to the side in curiosity. "Why are you so happy this morning, Cowboy?"
He really wasn't happy. But he could never keep a smile from his lips whenever Selph was around. She was always happy, bubbly energy, hugs and kisses. How anybody could be cranky around her was a mystery. Hell, even Squall had admitted to him one night that he internally smiled every time he saw her too. Now that was saying something: Mr. All-work-and-no-play Commander thought she was cute.
"I'm just happy to have the cutest little thing in Balamb in my arms…and the cutest little ass in my hands," Irvine teased, pinching a cheek lightly.
Selphie dropped from Irvine's grip, crossing her arms and stamping her foot. "Irvine Kinneas! How dare you act as if I am just a piece of flesh for your enjoyment!" she said in mock anger.
Irvine gave her a slow grin. "You know I only say it because it's the truth: you really do have a cute butt."
"Do I really?" Selphie asked in mock-modesty, craning her neck over each shoulder, as if she were trying to see what exactly he was talking about.
"Knock it off, you conceited little Trabian," Irvine said, with a slap on Selphie's butt. "Come on, we wouldn't want to keep the person who has an even cuter leather-clad ass waiting."
Selphie stood her ground, with her hands on her hips. "Hey! No fair, there can only be one person who has the cutest butt…is it me, or him?"
"Well, I would have said him, but you know how it goes…" Irvine trailed off, and tried his best at a casual smile. "Exes are always a sore subject."
"Oh Irvy, I'm so sorry. You know I've always been horrible at teasing, I never know when to stop…" she walked up beside him, and wrapped her arm around the closest thing she could reach, which was his waist. He forgot sometimes how much taller he was. "Did something bad happen last night…did he hurt you? 'Cause if he did, you know I would march right into that bastard's office and teach him-"
"It's alright," Irvine interrupted. It was a bad idea to get Selphie riled up. She never could control herself when it came to protecting the people she cared about. Maybe it was deep motherly instincts. She had had them since…well, forever. He could still remember Selphie comforting him through particularly terrifying thunderstorms.
"Well, not really alright…" Irvine saw the defensiveness reappear on Selphie's face. "We didn't get into a fight, Selph!" he said sharply. She glowered at him. She had stopped looking vengeful, but Irvine could tell she didn't believe him.
"I just went to get my stuff last night, that's all. And we did it like two mature adults." Irvine punched the call button for added emphasis.
Selphie smirked. "I thought you said you two broke up?" she asked coyly.
"What are you talking about? Haven't you been listening, I just got my…" Irvine realized what she was getting at. "Selph! I swear, sometimes you have a dirtier mind than me, and I'm the one with the reputation. We didn't 'do it.' We didn't do anything." Irvine crossed his arms. He wished they had done something, at least for novelty's sake…you know, like goodbye sex. Just the thought of Squall in leather got him hard. He always had looked irre-fucking-sistible in leather pants.
Selphie was quiet for a moment, and Irvine knew better than to feel relieved. If she was ever quiet for longer than five seconds, it meant that she was only collecting words, like a sort of an internal verbal dam. It stopped it for a while, but once it started coming out, it took forever to end.
The elevator opened, and the two stepped inside, the silence starting to pool around them. Finally, Selphie turned to Irvine, and grabbed his hand, wrapping her own hands around it. She yanked his arm, turning him toward her, and when he met her eyes, they were full of a sadness, a sorrow that was not typically Selphie.
"Irvine, I don't know what to do. I'm so, so sorry. I know that you loved him a lot, and it kills me that I can't help you with how you feel. I've never seen you so angry, hurt, sad, depressed, guilt-ridden…just fucking miserable. It's scary, Irvy. You're my rock. You've always been the one to hold me together when my world's falling apart. And I want to do the same for you…" Selphie dipped her head, finishing her sentence to the floor. "…I just don't know how," she whispered.
Irvine had no idea that his pain cost Selphie the same. Until then, he hadn't been sure of her feelings towards him. He had always suspected that her role of mother from younger years had stuck with her, and there were no other feelings to be had. But the pain that was visible in her eyes (part her own, part sorrow on his part) was evidence enough of the love she had for him.
"I'm so sorry cowboy…" she whispered, pulling his arm, yanking his head down, and she released his arm to grab his face. She looked into his eyes warmly before closing her own and pulling him into a comforting kiss, just lips on lips, offering comfort similar to a hug. She pulled back from him, as both knew better than to take the moment any further, and she smiled at him, a look that was hardly convincing with eyes full of shimmering tears. "I'll always be there for you, you know that," she offered.
Irvine swallowed, forcing back the choking tears that were threatening to flow forward from the compassion that Selphie had showed him. He swallowed once more before trusting his voice not to crack. "Of course Selph, and I'll always be there for you," he said in a breathless hush, all he could manage. He hugged her then, grabbing her and holding her tightly against his chest, while she stroked the ponytail trailing down his spine, and he caressed her sides lightly with the tips of his fingers. Old comforting habits they had remembered from when they were children. They stood together until the elevator dinged, and slid open.
Rinoa was late, fucking late again. Squall was going to kill her.
Well last night had definitely been...memorable. She smiled and felt a thrill quiver through her body at just the thought. And then she yawned, stretching the muscles in her body, taut from aggressive use the night before. She had to stop pulling these...all nighters.
All nighter...this brought all new meaning to the phrase. She could imagine the look on Quistis' face if she ever used it in that context in front of her.
..."Rinoa, have you pulled another all nighter?"..."Yes Quisty, and let me tell you how delightful it was to be rocking the bed frame until the wee hours of the morning...how you're missing out!"...
She turned in circles, eyes shifting furiously, searching the room. Where in the hell was her sweater? Ah.
The end of a blur sleeve poked out at her from under a sleeping man...and what a cute sleeping man he was. Every time she saw him, Rinoa always wondered what he saw in her. An emotionally scarred sorceress bitch...who would want to deal with her baggage? She swept her bangs from her eyes with a slight gesture, and a smile graced her full lips. Roane always looked cute when he was sleeping.
Suddenly, he snorted in mid-snore, and rolled over, obscuring the view Rinoa had had of a long line of thigh and tight, firm stomach muscles, leading up to the bulging, hard curves of his chest, pink nipples tightened from the chilly morning temperature. His black shoulder-length hair, normally pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, was disheveled, covering his face, and sleepy lids covered his light amber eyes. Dammit, there he was, distracting her again, and he wasn't even conscious.
Squall wasn't going to send her out on any more missions if she was late all the time. He had threatened as much the last time she was late. And the time before. Hyne bless it all, she wasn't going to be late this time. 7:50. She could be there in ten minutes. She had to be.
As gently as she could, she tugged the sweater from under Roane's sleep-heavy body, managing not to wake him in the process. But then again, he was a heavy sleeper. So unlike Squall...
Rinoa sighed. She missed him. She missed him more than he would ever know. She regretted ever fucking up what they had...but that was the past. She needed to focus on the present- brushing her hair and running to the meeting.
She made her way out of the room quietly, and arrived at the elevator. She hit the call button, and glanced at the digital clock set above the Garden directory: 7:56. She hit the call button a few more times for good measure: where was the blasted thing?
Just as she was preparing to hit the button again, she heard a ding, and the door slid open. She darted in, and prayed as the elevator ascended that she would not be late.
Her nerves were fraying as the doors opened on the third floor antechamber, the secretarial office. The clock on the wall read 7:59. She let a small smile reach her lips. It was a small victory after all. Squall couldn't fire her.
She walked into his office; Squall was pacing in front of his desk, obviously displeased at her. She found Irvine and Selphie sitting in chairs in front of his desk. As she made her way into the room, she cleared her throat, not wanting to say anything to piss Squall off, or to give him a reason to fire her. She knew he was looking for one.
He stopped mid-step, his eyes squinting in a glare. "Rinoa," he said, acknowledging her. He was pissed that she arrived as late as she could, but since she technically wasn't late, he couldn't reprimand her. "Sit," he ordered.
She did as she was told, remaining silent.
Squall wandered over to the middle of the desk standing before the rest of the group. He leaned against it, resting his butt on the hard wood. "Alright, here's the situation: the Galbadian army has commandeered Trabia Garden, wanting to use it as a mobile base. For what, only Hyne knows, but this gives them a great deal of power, and-"
"Those sons-a-bitches!" Selphie interrupted, tears welling in her eyes. "How can they do this? Why Trabia? Galbadia Garden is right there, for fuck's sake! We just finished rebuilding...and... and..." she began to sob, the tears that had pooled in her large green eyes rushing forth, streaming down her blushed cheeks. Rinoa went to stand, to go and comfort her friend, but Irvine beat her to it, pulling her prone body from the floor, and returning to his chair with her grieving in his lap. He stroked her head, whispering in her ear, trying to calm her down.
Squall had anticipated Selphie's reaction; she had just gotten back from her last trip to Trabia, checking to make sure that the construction crew had everything up to par. They were supposed to open their doors at the start of next month, but now...And he felt it was only right for Selphie to be a part of this mission. She deserved her revenge.
Irvine managed to calm Selphie down, and her sobs lessened into tears. He wiped them from her face as they dripped from her eyes. She turned to face Squall, to listen to the rest of the briefing. The sadness that had filled her eyes was replaced by fierce intensity, and Squall knew that she was hanging on every word.
"They haven't moved Trabia yet. Maybe they haven't found the controls- Trabia is the only Garden that hasn't initiated mobility recently. It might be that Galbadia is still preparing the place- we don't know. They have Trabia sealed tight. We weren't able to gain much from recon."
He looked at the group he was sending. Rinoa, who had broken his heart when he was most vulnerable, and even though a small part of him hated her still, deep down he just wanted to mend things, and become friends. Selphie, normally all energy, and chatter, now dimmed from the disappointment that, after all she had put into it, Trabia was under Galbadian control, and could very well be damaged again. And Irvine...
Fuck, he was in love with him, even if he had cheated on him. Squall felt like it was pretty much all his fault that Irvine had done it in the first place. Because he couldn't acknowledge what he and Irvine had shared, something dumb had happened, and as much as he wanted to hug him and tell him that it was all okay, he felt a distance there that hadn't been there before. A distance that hadn't been there, even when they had been separated for weeks or more, away on missions. There was something about being together intimately, knowing all the deep secrets of a person, trusting another completely, and then having that trust broken that created a bigger feeling of distance than actual physical distance, or time apart. It took him and Irvine back to square one, like the beginnings of a friendship. Squall didn't know how long it was going to take before he and Irvine would be back to anything that even resembled the relationship they had shared.
This was the group that he was going to send...against the whole Galbadian army? It had felt right...but what if something happened? What if Irvine got hurt, or captured, or worse? Or Rinoa? Or even Selphie? He couldn't just send them off on their way, trusting they could get the job done.
He had never doubted himself before; it was probably because Irvine had shattered the reality he used to know, the one that he had finally allowed himself to have, having trust, loving, caring. But he wasn't going to be old Squall; he wasn't going to send off the people he loved to die, at least, not without him being there along side them.
He needed all the help that he could get. But he wanted to keep the group relatively small...it was usually easier that way. So he needed the best the Garden had to offer. Fuck, it was probably going to make things shitty, but he needed him.
"Rinoa?" he said, getting her attention. She looked at him with a blank face; if he said anything to her, it was usually because he was pissed at her for some reason. She had learned to expect as much. "If I needed to find Roane, where would I call?"
She looked at him, surprised that he would want to contact her boyfriend. And then she realized she would have to tell him where Roane stayed last night...of course Squall knew that they were shacking up, but it was embarrassing all the same, telling your ex-boyfriend that your current boyfriend had stayed over the night before. "My room," she said, trying to force the blood that had rushed to her face back to the rest of her body.
Squall nodded, and reached behind him to pick up the phone. He dialed the number, and it took a few rings before Roane picked up. He must have been awake- he wouldn't have heard the phone, otherwise. "Roane? This is Squall. I need you in my office. Mission briefing." He hung up without so much as a goodbye.
Rinoa was burning with curiosity, and even if Squall hated her, she still needed to ask. "Is Roane coming along also?"
Squall regarded her with the same semi-frown he had been wearing all morning. "Yes, and so am I. The situation needs to be nullified before things get out of hand. That's why I'm only taking the best we have along with us. If Zell and Quistis weren't away in Esthar, I wouldn't need Roane," he said, making his distaste for the man evident.
Rinoa was elated, but unable to experience all of her excitement. She was going to have her first mission with her boyfriend...but her ex was going to be coming along. And Irvine.
Irvine had been almost as hurt as Squall had been when Rinoa had cheated on him. Maybe it was because he and Squall had been best friends, or maybe it was because she and Irvine had been close as well. For whatever reason, he hadn't been the same with her since it happened. She didn't know why he was still so bitter about it: he had gotten Squall out of the deal, after all. She sighed. At least she had Roane and Selphie.
They waited in silence, Irvine still cradling Selphie in his lap, Rinoa thinking about how she was going keep Squall from pissing off Roane, and Squall wondering how in the hell he ever got into a circumstance where he had to go on a mission with his recent ex-boyfriend, his ex-girlfriend, and his ex-girlfriend's boyfriend.
The name of Rinoa's boyfriend, "Roane," borrowed from a character of the same name in "A Kiss of Shadows," by Laurell K. Hamilton
