What do they really do in the teachers room?

The teachers at Hogwarts would tell the students that they were not allowed in the staff room. Why you ask? Well, one day I 'borrowed' (and when I say borrow I mean stole) Harry's invisibility cloak and actually went into the the teachers room and actually heard one of their actual conversations just as it actually happened. Hears what I heard:

"Yo Sevy, pass me a joint!"MgGonnagal said, her arm outstreached. Snape passed her a joint. She sucked in the drug and breathed it out.

"I like, so like, can't wait to like, retire." said Proffesor Binns. (lol)

"I hope these little brats die! Then I would probably love my job, sweeping up their dead bodies!" Filch laughed. Everyone raised thier bottles of Firewhiskey.

"Here! Hear!" They all agreed. They clacked their bottles together. (somewhere in a nearby corner, author shakes her head in disgust.)

DRINKING AND SMOKING WILL NOT SOLVE ANYTHING.