Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, or L.O.T.R. characters. I would make them do evil things. Very evil. Evil enough that You-Know-Who himself would shrink back in fear. Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Please review, people, I've gotten like, two of them and would like a little feedback.
Demosthenes
Chapter Three: Frolicking through Flowers and Insults Galore
"Goose-Goose!" Stevie screamed, as mad as a sixteen year old nerd whose blanket you've stolen. "When I get you, I'm going wring your little-"
"Neck," Lisa, Jimmy, Stevie, Foaly, and Holly chorused. (The centaur and fairy had been around Root far too long.) Unfortunately, the little 'choir of angels', as Spoony later described it as, only made Stevie about ten times madder.
"Sorry!" said Goose-Goose, her head popping out from behind a curtain. "Minor mishap, I assure you."
"Minor mishap! I'll give you minor mishap! When I wrench your guts from your skin and poke out your eyeballs with a burning piece of metal! You're fired! Get out! Get out! Get out, you little dork!"
Goose-Goose glared daggers at her. "Dork's my word, you half-crazed imbecile."
"Pickle head!"
"Booger brain!"
"Insane lunatic!"
"Elephant-butt feather!" (A/N: inside joke.)
"At least I don't sniff metal, you metal-sniffer!"
"At least I'm not an obsessive compulsive freak!"
"At least I- wait, no, that was me."
In a common Omegian home, a mother covered her son's ears. "Go upstairs, sweetie-pumpkin," she said.
"No! I wanna see this," said little Tyler, fascinated.
"Fart machine!"
"Semi-frozen corndog retard!" (A/N: another inside joke.)
"Whale killer!"
"Insane lunatic!"
"Stupid- wait! You called me that already! Ha, ha!"
Stevie marched off, downcast and defeated. "Hey!" Goose-Goose said happily. "Now I get to be a co-host! That totally rocks!"
"Not without me!" said Spoony angrily. "You always get to do the fun stuff!"
"Helloooo? What about the beautiful Toast Blossom?"
"Like you would get to do it? Sorry to break it to ya, Toasty, you're the youngest!"
"And I'm the oldest!" said Goose-Goose triumphantly. "Stand aside, mortals!"
During this whole episode, the guest stars were looking at each other like the aliens were absolute freaks. (Actually, they kind of are.) Mulch wasn't really paying attention; instead, he was trying to find a bit of not-metal in the whole room. Harry and Luna were searching for their wands, Gimli for his axe, Legolas for his bow, and along with Aragorn, his swords. Foaly was standing by, looking amused, Holly was trying to find some dirt, (naughty fairy, didn't do the Ritual!) Butler for his guns, Juliet for her lipstick, and Artemis was looking around and yawning, as if he saw this kind of thing every day.
Lisa (the smart one) finally stood up and gave a loud, piercing whistle with her fingers. The commotion stopped, and everyone looked at her innocently. "Thank you," she said placidly. "As I was going to say…"
"You weren't going to say anything," Artemis informed her.
She blushed. "Anyway, please, we're on live television now, we're adults, let's solve this like adults."
"I beg to differ," said Harry, Luna, and Artemis dryly.
"Where'd Stevie go?" asked Spoony.
"Yea, where's Stevie?"
"I'm right here," said a voice from behind the curtain.
The crowd looked. No one stepped out. "Uh, Stevie?" asked Toast Blossom. Again, no one came out.
"Look, Stevie, if you're mad about the whole insults thing, I'm sorry," said Goose-Goose.
"Stevie?"
"Helllllllo?"
"Stevegirl?
"Steveanie Carmel PotRoast, if you don't get your but outta there right now, I'm gonna tell Mom about Redway Bartel and the elephant junk."
Stevie jumped out. "NO! Don't tell ANYONE!"
"Tell us what?" they asked slyly.
"JIMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
