Disclaimer: I don't own them. Do you think I'm Eoin Colfer, J.K. Rowling, or whoever wrote LOTR? No. I'm Demosthenes, and I hate disclaimers.

Hello People. I haven't written this story forever, so sorry. Please review it. I need help. If you like this story, try Artemis and the Villa. It was written by the Locke part of Demothenes and Locke. I'm Demosthenes, by the way.


Chapter Five: When People Get Mad

The contestants were having a bit of a rough time.

Harry absolutely insisted on being in the transporter at all times, since he didn't want it to leave without him. Much to the amusement of the show hosts, he got into a battle with Legolas over shotgun. He protested that in any other seat he would get carsick, even when Juliet (who had, incidentally, read all of the Harry Potter books and was feeling a bit like an evil weed since she had discovered that her lipstick was not Sunset Magenta but Rose Pink) forcefully reminded him that he had once flown from England to Scotland (A/N: not a lot of people know this, but Hogwarts is actually in Scotland) in a flying car without a twitch.

He ignored her.

Then Mulch tried to sneak away through the back door, not wanting to face the LEP when (if) they returned to Haven. Holly had a few words to say to him, involving some not-so-nice insults and the word D'Arvit multiple times.

Arty, Foaly, and Luna were having a loud discussion on whether the stabilizers were necessary or if they could be morphed into a Gurglepipper net due to the sheen of the metal, and Aragorn was acting extremely un-Aragorn-like by crouching in a shadowed corner of the transporter and crying, "Arwen! No! Eowyn! No! Arwen! No! Eowyn! No!" The gas seemed to have had an interesting effect on his mind. Gimli was shouting curses and praying to some dwarf god, scared out of his wits by the stabilizers turning into a butterfly net and back again repeatedly. Butler was observing the situation, thinking about how much this was like the Great Alpaca Fight of '89. Don't ask.

It was all very amusing.

This continued for about twenty minutes, until finally Aragorn won, Juliet won (ha ha, Harry got beaten twice), Holly won, Artemis and Foaly won, Aragorn's mental breakdown stopped, Gimli was pacified by Goose-Goose, and Butler was hit in the head by a fingernail-clipper. Suddenly the chatter stopped and all everyone heard was Toast-Blossom talking on her specially-made cell-phone for out-of-dimension calls. (My, that's a lot of dashes.)

"… Okay, okay, I'll pick you up at eight… Oh, don't worry. Its completely undetectable… See ya at eight then, Bobby honey!" She snapped her cell shut. Everyone was staring at her. "What?" she asked.

Jimmy started cracking up. "I can't believe you!" she (as I said before, even Jimmy and Stevie are girls) exclaimed. "You have a boyfriend! Named Bobby too. Man, that's pathetic!"

Toasty blushed. "He's not my boyfriend!" she screeched. "I don't even know who he is!"

"You knew his cell-phone number," Spoony observed dryly.

"No I didn't! He called me!"

"I clearly saw you call him."

"No I didn't!"

"Wait till I tell Mom! You're gonna be grounded forever!"

They ran out.

"My, that was amusing," said Holly.

"Oh so amusing," said Artemis.

"The most amusing thing in all of Gondor," said Aragorn.

"I have to pee," said Harry.

"Oh, God."


Please review. Thanks.

Demosthenes