It's 10 'o clock PM. Do you know where your parents are?

YAY! Super nice people came back to review me!

TwinSanity

HI MANI, MENA, TOLI, AND JESSELDA!

Ah yes, you'll hear about randomland a little latter. Mena's head…wow, that must be a very chaotic place. I know mine is.

Chocolates? AAAAAAWWW, you all are so sweet! 

Serenity's got a part in your story? Ooh, this is going to be good! Knowing you guys, I think I will die laughing. I better get my will written up just in case. Can't wait guys!

Mizz-Sereniy-Wheeler

Sniff OH MIZZ-SERENITY-WHEELER, YOU'VE MADE THIS PSYCHOTIC AUTHORESS SO HAPPY!

As a great big thank you for being so nice in you're last review, I am working on a computer virus at home that will delete all references to 'Barbie', 'EveryGirl', and 'Bratz'. I'd send over a flying fuzzy bunny, but I'm a little short handed with house cleaning, and they work for carrots.

But THANK YOU SO MUCH! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you did the last one.

KaiMai

They are muffins of doom! BWA HA HA HA HA!

Yes, I agree. I bet that somewhere between his Millenium Eye and his copies of the Mary Kate and Ashley Mysteries, Pegasus does keep and arsenal of beauty products, portable curling iron included.

What worries me is why Joey would want it…

Anyway, enjoy yet another helping of chaos!

Funky Egyptian

Awesome! I'm strange too!

I enjoy odd stories. Oddness is the spice of life, don't you agree?

We'll…since you said pretty please, here you go! Enjoy it!

Kiwigirl189

I'm glad you were hooked!

Well, Tea's going to show up next chapter, but I'm not sure about the other two. It's not that they'd be bad characters, it's just that I'd think I'd have a hard time getting past the Duke-Serenity-Tristan thing.

Anyway, I certainly hope you stop by again, and I hope this chapter adds to your addiction to random humor!

NKitty29

Hi there! Ah yes, keep your eye on those butlers…they'll stab you in the back (literally).

Thank you for the nice review! Who are you running from?

Well, that's all I got!

Onto the craziness!

CHAPTER TEN

If I Only Had an Buffoon Bonanza

"Owdy pawtna," said a tall, wild looking man dressed up like a cowboy with a five 'o clock shadow, standing next to a cactus right next to the Yellow Brick Road. "Az yoo can see, wez here in the Ol' West, where soma the wildest events in history 'ave taken place. Y'all got action. Y'all got hadventure. Y'all got your Saturday aftanoon romances."

For dramatic effect, the cowboy took out a lasso and twirled it around on his side, jumping through it just to show off.

"Howeva," he continued, "due to usnins be a little lackin' on money, wez just gonna show you a story habout when four idiots and a plusha cat blew into town and-"

Before he could finish, he was floored by a huge herd of stampeding cattle. As they trampled over him, the kicked up a huge dust storm which created a very dramatic cloud as wild western music played in the background over the beating hooves.

"Oh way to go for starting that stampede Joey," Serenity said, fanning away the grit as she and the others walked down the Yellow Brick Road to the next stop on their insanity tour.

"Sorry Serenity," Joey said. "It's just that Mr. Bull looked pretty hot, so I just fanned him to cool him down!"

"YOU FANNED HIM WITH A RED CAPE YOU IDIOTIC MUTT!" screamed Seto.

"Well, the blue cape didn't match his blood shot eyes!" Joey said.

"Hey look guys!" Ryo said, pointing down the road. "I can't believe it! A real old American Western town! Amazing!"

Indeed, not far down the road was a small town that looked very much like something from the old west movie. It had all those buildings with the swing doors, hitching posts, a general store, blah, blah, blah. Also, there was a huge, swinging sign hanging not far from the outskirts of the town, which Serenity walked up to, reading the painted on words.

" 'Welcome to Rattler Gultch', "she read from the sign. " 'Population: 265'."

Suddenly, a huge scream was heard from the center of the town. With that, a horse and rider came charging up the road up to the sign. He then took out a huge, black sharpie and crossed out the five in the sign and made it a four. Then, he rode back into town.

"Hey!" Joey said. "They didn't have sharpies in the old west!"

"Brilliant Mutt," said Seto sarcastically.

"Just an idea, but I really think we should just breeze through this town without drawing too much attention to ourselves," Serenity said.

"H'im thirsty!" Joey cried.

"Joey, we really need to just walk right through this place without drawing too much attention to ourselves," Serenity said.

"Then again, we aren't sure how long this desert goes," Ryo said. "We may not have another decent drink in days!"

"We could just let Joey die," Seto suggested.

"Why do you always try to shoot him down?" Serenity asked.

"It's my innate inclination," Seto said.

"I see," Serenity said.

"Plus he's an annoying idiot," Seto added.

"Well, as long as we're here, we probably should get something to drink before we press on," Ryo said.

"I agree," Serenity said. "Except we need to blend in a little more. We don't want to start any fights."

"Hey!" Joey said. "There's a clothing store down there! LET'S ALL BUY CHICKEN SUITS!"

"Or we could buy western outfits to blend in a little more," Serenity suggested.

"No chicken suits?" Joey asked.

-ooo-

LATER AT THE CLOTHING STORE! WoOoOoOoOoO!

"Ryo, I hate to be the one to point this out," Seto said, fully decked out in cowboy garb (Seto in cowboy garb…WAHHAHAHAHAH!), "well, actually, not I don't, but you're wearing bunny slippers."

"So?" Ryo said, who was also in cowboy garb, except he did, indeed have two huge pink bunnies where cowboy boots should be. "They didn't have any cowboy boots in my size! Plus, it kind of says 'Hi, I'm Ryo, and I have two lucky rabbit's feet!"

"No, it says 'Hi, I'm Ryo, and the first person who beats me up gets a free pair of slippers'," Seto said.

Just as he finished saying that sentence, Joey walked in, and instead of being dressed up as a cowboy, he was dressed up in a brown horse suit.

"NEIGH!" Joey said.

"You've never looked so good," Seto said.

"Oh come on!" Serenity said, coming out dressed like an old western show girl with Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, who wore a similar outfit. "Don't tell me this is all they had in the women's department!"

"Well, it's either that or Joey's horse suit…" Ryo said. "Uh, did show girls wear platforms in cowboy times?"

"Did cowboys wear bunny slippers in cowboy times?" Serenity asked

"Snort," Joey said.

"'Scuse me," said the man behind the counter with a huge handlebar moustache smoking a cigar. "How do y'all intend to pay fer that their costumes?"

"We'll sell Joey into slavery for a couple of years," Seto said.

"SETO!" Serenity yelled.

"Fine fine," Seto said, pulling out a wad of money. "Do you take fifties?"

"FIFTIES?" Ryo screamed.

"SWEET SISTER OF MERCY!" screamed the store clerk as he got a good look at Joey, who was scratching his butt with a hoof. "IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?"

"Neigh!" Joey said again.

"IT IS!" screamed the store clerk. "THAT'S SNAKE THE KILLER'S HORSE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIEEEEEE!"

With that, the store clerk ran screaming out of the store as fast as he could, continuing to scream 'We're gonna die! We're gonna die!' and other such nonsense.

"W-who's Snake the Killer?" Ryo asked, shuddering in panic.

"Hey look!" Joey said, pointing to a huge poster behind the counter that they couldn't see before because of the sales clerk blocking the way, which featured an overly muscular and rouge looking man. "There's a guy on a poster! Ooh! Ooh! Is he a movie star?"

"You idiot, that's a wanted poster!" Seto snarled. "It says 'Snake the Killer, wanted dead or alive, reward."

"Hey, check out all the crimes he commited!" Ryo cried. "It says here he's been convicted of theft, counterfeiting, high sticking, harassing daytime TV, not returning his phone calls, ding-dong-ditching, littering, walking on fresh planted grass, cannibalism, singing protest songs, drinking pina colatas, getting caught in the rain, and…MURDER! EEEEEEEEEEEEEKK!"

"That's terrible!" Serenity said. "Boy, it's a good thing that the real Snake the Killer isn't in this town, or we'd all be in huge trouble!"

"And we'd have to buy new undies!" Joey cried.

-ooo-

AT THE SALOON! WoOoOoOoOoO!

"Okay," Serenity said. "Now remember, this is a tough town, so we need to not draw attention to ourselves by looking like complete loser freaks."

"So if we just act the exact opposite of who we are, we'll be okay?" Ryo asked.

"Exactly!" Serenity said.

As our heroes began this pointless adventure, Joey turned out toward the hitching post because his virtually non-existent attention span forced him to do such.

"What does that mean?" Joey asked.

It means you got bored, so now your about to do something stupid.

"YAY!" Joey said, looking toward the hitching post. There upon it was undoubtibly the horse that belonged Snake the Killer. Perhaps it was the horse's wild appearenc. Perhaps its look just screamed "back off unless you want to end up in an all body cast you twit". Or perhaps it was the 'This horse belongs to Snake the Killer so back off unless you want me to play your spinal cord like an accordian' branded on the horse's haunches. Joey, managing to put all those obvious clues together in his head, sprung immediately into action.

"WHINEY!" he cried, charging into the saloon.

The saloon itself was just what you'd expect from a saloon. It was dimly lit, and there were a bunch of round tables scattered everywhere with cowboys sitting at each one, some just having a quick drink, others playing games of cards, bills and small gold trinkets in the center. The murmered talk of the men at the saloon was mixed with the old style music being played on a piano, all swimming over a thin cloud of smoke from about twenty cigars.

"WOO HOO!" said one cowboy, seeing them all walk in. "Ol' Sam's finely gone and gots us a show girl! Almost a shame it's a cheep one."

"IT'S A CHEEP ONE?" Serenity screamed, grabbing the cowboy by his throat with a sickening crack. "I'LL GIVE YOU A CHEEP ONE EASTWOOD!"

"Ooh! So much for not provoking a fight!" Ryo said, flinching from the other end of the room as he saw the whole scene play out before him. "How did she manage to jam his entire head down a gin and tonic glass?"

"These are cowboys Ryo," Seto said. "They have neither skulls nor brains, so there heads have the same density as a latex-rubber mix. I mean, just look at the mutt."

He pointed to Joey, who, being and idiot, grabbed a piece of his ear, and streached it like rubber ten times around his head. With that, he let go, and like a rubber band, it snapped back into place so hard, that it knocked him off balance, and he fell right to the hardwood floor.

"THAT TICKLED!" he cried happily.

"That's some stupid horse you got there," said the piano player.

"Isn't he?" Seto said.

"Hey there son," said an old man behind the counter of the bar. "'Hanythin' I can getcha terday?"

"Listen sissy-boy," Seto said. "This is a Western town, so we need to be tough, which means to drink tough. Comprende?

"Aye cappin!" said Ryo, flashing a salute. "Okay Mr. Bartender, order me up…dare I…a strawberry milkshake!"

"'Hokay there girl scout," said the bartender. "Would you like that in with a straw, or are you a big boy and able to drink outta a big glass?"

"Get me two straws!" Ryo said. "I'M FEELING CRAZY TODAY!"

Seto gave him a look.

"What?" Ryo said. "Usually I order vanilla!"

Seto slapped his forehead.

"I'll have the same as the faceless nonentity over there," Seto said. "But make mine a chocolate."

"Two fancy milks for the old maids," said the bartender, flinging a couple of milkshakes down the counter to the two.

"How can they do that?" Ryo asked.

"Do what?" Seto asked.

"How come whenever a bartender flings drinks down a counter, they always stop in front of the exact person they're ordered for?" Ryo asked, beginning to drink out of the straw.

"Years of experience, mystical bartender magic, and tiny magnets," Seto said.

"Wow! I didn't know that!" Ryo said. "Thanks Seto!"

With that, Ryo continued to drink happily through the straw of his strawberry milkshake. For about a minute, Seto just watched him.

"You really are gullible, you know that Ryo?" he said at last.

"Wow! I didn't know that!" Ryo said. "Thanks Seto!"

Suddenly, there was a slam from the push doors as they were nearly thrown off their hinges as a muscular bandit stood in them. He was about seven feet tall, with a huge, bushy, handlebar mustache and the ugliest five 'o clock shadow you ever did see. He had a belt with holsters carrying a total of five guns, and his ten-gallon hat had a huge bullet hole in it. His eyes were bloodshot black under a wide, hair brow.

It was Snake the Killer.

Everyone screamed in panic as he advance, into the room. All the card playing cowboys hid under the tables, as did every other sensible person in the room. The piano guy jumped into the string box of his piano. The bartender hid behind the counter. In fact, the only four people who didn't hide was Serenity because she got caught in the frenzy, Joey because he was an idiot, Ryo because he was too busy drinking his milkshake, and Seto because he wanted to get someone shot.

"I'm lookin' for the guy who shot mah Gameboy Advanced SP," said Snake, holding up a busted personal gaming device. Of course, since no one was brave enough (or stupid enough) to come out of their hiding places under the table, he only could pick the only for people that weren't hiding for his targets. They were, of course, Serenity, Joey, Seto, and Ryo.

With that, Snake walked right over to the person who was least likely to defend himself in a crisis, which was, of course, Ryo, who was trying to slurp down the rest of his milkshake through the straw.

"Uh, Ryo," Seto said, seeing the over muscular bandit heading right their way, "You might want to run screaming like you always do now."

"Hang on a sec, I'm almost finished," Ryo said, still trying to do the impossible task of trying to get the last bits of a milkshake.

"Alright, I'll be over here hiding like a coward watching you get the snot kicked out of you," said Seto, looking for a good hiding place.

"SNOT KICKED OUT OF ME?" Ryo screamed in terror, at the exact same second Snake the Killer came over and grabbed his entire body with and oversized hand.

"Well der," he said, in a very husky rattle. "Wot's a milk drinker like you doin' here in these parts."

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" Ryo screamed.

"You're a wimp, aren't you?" said Snake.

"Yesiam," Ryo said quickly.

"I don't like wimps," said Snake.

"Noimnot," Ryo said quickly.

"BARTENDER!" screamed Snake. The bartender slowly surfaced from behind the counter, hands up in the air as a sign of surrendering.

"Get me my usual," Snake said. "But this time, make it extra hard."

The bartender had a sudden look of exhaustion. With that, he put on a protective gas mask, a pair of rubber gloves, and a pair of super long tongs. With that, he used them to pull out several vials of chemicals with little bio-hazard labels on them. First he took a red vial and poured some liquid in a tall glass. Then, he took a blue liquid and did the same. When the two came in contact with each other, they hissed and fuzzed and there was even a few mini explosions, which is also what happened when a green liquid was poured in. With that, the bartender pushed the glass toward Ryo and Snake.

"Oh, no thank you," Ryo said. "I have a very strict policy against drinking any kind of beverage that…smokes-"

"Drink," Snake ordered, taking out a gun and jamming the barrel right in the back of Ryo's throat.

"Bottom's up than!" Ryo said, taking a straw out of his milk shake and sticking it into the exploding beverage. Very gingerly and slowly, he took a very small sip.

"Huh," he said. "You know, once you get past the bitterly alcoholic taste, it's actually not that b-"

BOOM!

With that, Ryo suddenly shot like a rocket up through the roof, causing several wooden boards to fall down to the floor all over the counter.

"Darn!" said the bartender. "Now I have ter hire a renovator aggin!"

"HEY!" Serenity yelled. "THAT WAS SIMPLY UNCALLED FOR!"

"Oooooohhh…" said everyone under the tables.

"What dyo' care girl?" asked Snake, spitting into a spit bucket thing.

"Well, first of all, he's my friend," Serenity said, "and second of all, I can't allow you to pick on people just because they're smaller than you! You can't do anything that low!"

"Yeah, you can't do anything that low!" Joey said. "NOT UNTIL YOU FINISH YOU'RE HOMEWORK YOUNG LADY!"

"Joey, see those two cactuses over there?" Serenity said.

"Cacti," Seto said, peeking out from behind a flower pot he was hiding behind.

"Pardon?" Serenity asked.

"Cacti," Seto said. "That's the plural form of cactus. Cacti."

"Why can't I just say cactuses?" Serenity said. "Shouldn't we save the good English for, ya know, writing fan fiction stories?"

"It just doesn't seem proper…" Seto said.

"Okay then," Serenity said, frustrated. "Joey, do you see those two cacti over there?"

"No," Joey said. "But I do see two cactuses."

"WHATEVER!" Serenity cried. "Just…I dunno, go talk to them for the rest of the chapter, okay?"

"YAY!" Joey said, getting up and running right through a wall, leaving behind another Joey-shaped hole in the wall.

"Oh great," Seto said. "Another insurance claim."

"Well, there lil' missy," said Snake, walking right up to Serenity. "I hope y'all are ready, 'cause those is fightin' words."

"And you call my grammar bad?" Serenity said.

"Hey, your not seven feet tall and armed," Seto said.

"Well listen here," said Snake dangerously. "Thirs only one way I deal with yellerbellies in this town, and that's by takin' them down. Permanent like."

"You mean…" Serenity started.

"One 'o clock shirp," said Snake. "Yer gonna meat me for a duel to the death!"

"Oh come on!" Serenity said. "Can't we solve this by talking things out? Or compromising? Or making it two so I can flee farther from the town?"

"One 'o clock," Snake said dangerously. "Unless, of course, yeh want yer horse to get shot."

He pointed his gun out the door to where Joey was sitting and conversing with the cacti.

"Alright," Serenity said dangerously. "You better hope I go easy on you."

Snake just spat in the bucket, and lumbered out the door, spurs jangling as his cowboy boots clicked across the wood floor.

"Well that was awkward," Seto said, walking up to Serenity. "Oh well, at least Ryo's still gone."

With that, Ryo crashed through the roof, making another hole, and landing right in Seto's arms, speaking of being awkward.

"Wow…" Ryo murmered dreamily. "I must have died and gone to heaven."

Then, he saw who caught him.

"OH MY BLOODY LORD! SETO'S HERE!" he cried. "Then…then that means…"

Three second realization silence. Then Ryo burst into tears. And Seto dropped him.

"SETO!" Serenity yelled.

"Don't make me do what I really want to do to him," Seto said.

-ooo-

ONE 'O CLOCK! WoOoOoOoOoO!

So we set our scene to the place where Serenity would either do or die. The wind whistled quietly along, kicking up a small cloud of dust and catching a tumbleweed, flinging it across the sand. The sun was high in the sky, baking the ground, casting almost no shadow in it's wake. It was quiet. Oh so quiet. Until-

"SO SELFLESS, COLD, SO SELFLESS, COLD, SO SELF-LESS, CO-O-O-OLD…and composed…."

"Sorry!" Ryo said on the sidelines, quickly pressing the skip button on the pink boom box with pretty flowers on his lap. "I keep forgetting that the dramatic, Western, duel scene background music is on track five, not four."

With that, the dramatic background music began to play, and Snake walked down the road, spikes jangling as he did such. He had a toothpick in his mouth, and his hands were outstretched, ready to reach into his holster and pull out his gun to wipe someone out. Then, Serenity walked up from the other end of the road, not having anything in her belt, but arms outstretched anyway out of stereotype.

Then comes all of those awkward cowboy close-ups they do in these old style western fight scenes.

While the catty close-ups were being done, Ryo stood on the sidelines biting his lips. Suddenly, there was a flushing sound, and Seto walked out of the men's room.

"So what did I miss?" he said.

"Serenity and Snake are walking down the road, and the dramatic background music's playing, and the awkward close-ups have began, so the fight's pretty much inevitable," Ryo said.

"Better go wash my hands then," Seto said, turning back.

"Halright girl," said Snake menacingly. "Weez gonna duel until one of us bites the dust. Choose you're weapon."

"Alright," Serenity said coolly, as the background music became increasingly dramatic. "I choose…Ms. Fuzzy-Kins!"

With that, she pulled out her cuddly plushie, who was still wearing her show-girl outfit. Snake promptly burst out laughing, as if he had heard the funniest joke in the world.

"Yer gonna put yer life in the hands of a shtupid doll?" said Snake.

"PLUSH TOY!" Serenity screamed. "Jeez! What's with everyone calling her a doll?"

"Halright," said Snake. "I choose mah six shot revolver, which is…uh…what's one less than six?"

"Five," Serenity said.

"Five more shot's than I need!" said Snake.

"Fine!" Serenity said. "So, uh, when do we start this fight?"

"I dunno…whenever…just say the word…" said Snake.

"Okay…could someone count to three?" Serenity asked.

"I…can't count…" Snake said.

"Fine. Let's just go," Serenity said.

She didn't need to speak twice, because the second she said 'go', Snake shot. It would have hit dead on, but-

"What happened?" Snake screamed, as the bullet bounced of a shiny, force-field thing.

"Ha!" Serenity cried. "Since Ms. Fuzzy-Kins is a telekinetic plush toy, she can conjure up force field shield thingies!"

"YAY!" Ryo cried from the sideline.

"Oh yeah?" said Snake. With that, he pressed a little pink button on his revolver, and with that, the force field shield thingy suddenly pulsed with electric wavy things, as did Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, who fell right out of Serenity's arms, face down in the dust.

"MS. FUZZY-KINS!" screamed Serenity in terror, sinking to her knees by her fallen plushie's side.

"Ha!" said Snake. "Mah telerkinetic force field de-activater settin' on mah gun paid off! I can autermaticly shock any kind of telerkinetic bein' with the push ovva button."

"Those things didn't exist in The Old West!" Serenity cried in pain.

"Neither did Camries," said Snake.

Serenity's eyes were filled with tears, completely shattered by the horror of seeing her cuddly plush friend fallen at the hands of a wicked man of a cowboy.

"H'i see yer cryin' baby," said the cowboy tauntingly. "That's right! Go home sobbin' to yer momma and daddy, and go back to washing the dishes and dusting the furnit-"

With that, Serenity ran headlong to Snake, leaping in the air, and like something out of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, she karate kicked the gun out of Snakes hand, straight through the window of a local orthodontist that crashed into an innocent civilian's braces. But that's another story.

"Hoah nelly!" Snake screamed.

"Looks like were both weaponless," said Serenity. "So that means…LIGHT SABER BATTLE!"

"Darn," Ryo said, skipping through the tracks on the boom-box. "She really should warn me before she pulls a fast one like that!"

And so the 'Star Wars' theme song played in the background and with that, Serenity pulled off he showgirl outfit, and underneath it, she had a Jedi knights uniform. Snake pulled off his clothes, and he had a similar outfit. Then the real fight began!

At that moment, Serenity pulled out a light saber that turned blue as it activated, and Snake's turned a pretty pink. With that, they then dodged each other's thrusts, slashes, jabs, kicks, uppercuts, and small bowls of beef stew!

"Wow!" Ryo said. "You don't see this too often in the movies!"

So the two realized that they were evenly matched, each one panting, facing each other, waiting for the other to make a move.

"You ready to surrender?" said Snake.

"Not yet!" Serenity said. "For I know the incredibly dark verse of wisdom that makes any mortal man faint instantly!"

With that, Serenity did a dramatic leap through the air, and she landed right next to Snake. With that, she quickly whispered something in his ear.

He then screamed. He careened backwards, eyes rolling to the back of his head, and eventually passed out, falling backwards right into the sand. The dramatic backround music ended, and 'Paranoid' started playing.

"Wow Serenity!" Ryo said. "What horrible thing did you say to him?"

"Do you really want to know Ryo?" Serenity asked.

"Nothankyou," Ryo said quickly.

As soon as he finished saying that sentence, Seto walked out of the bathroom.

"What did I miss?" he said.

"Serenity won," Ryo said.

"Darn," Seto said.

"Ms. Fuzzy-Kins's all right!" Serenity cried with joy picking up her cuddly plushie.

"Hooray!" screamed Ryo.

"Yeah," Seto said, not really caring.

Well, I think I've had enough of this place," Serenity said, tearing off her Jedi knights outfit, wearing her regular clothes under it.

"As do I," Seto said, tearing off his cowboy outfit with his normal clothes underneath.

"Yeah," said Ryo, tearing of his, wearing his clothes, but still with bunny slippers.

"TAKE THOSE STUPID SLIPPERS OFF!" Seto screamed, as he, Ryo, and Serenity walked into the sunset.

"Goodbye mysterious travelers!" a townsperson called behind them. "You defeated Snake the Killer! WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU!"

"Who are those guys?" another townsperson asked.

"I dunno," said the first townsperson. "I think they're street performers."

"H'and that's our story," said the cowboy narrator, back on the set with one arm in a sling, the other twirling his stupid lasso. "H'and thanks to those mysterious idiot, the town spent many long years h'in peace an' happiness. That is until Tipsy the Tuba came to town…but that there's another story. Well, that's all the time we have. I'm Jeff, and until next time-"

But before the cowboy narrator could say another word, his lasso caught on the bumper of a '92 Camry that was shooting by, so the narrator guy was dragged along for quite a long way, being dragged behind in the dirt.

-ooo-

"So…how long have you two known each other?" Joey said, still talking to the two cacti. Neither said a word.

"Uh huh, that's cool," Joey said. "Hey, is it true about what they say that if lightning strikes you, you explode?"

The cacti still said nothing.

"What's the matter, cyotie got you're tongue?" Joey asked.

The cacti said nothing.

"Oh, I see! I'm not cool enough to be part of your little click!"

The two cacti said nothing.

"WELL FINE! DON'T TALK TO ME!" Joey yelled. "SEE IF I CARE!"

"JOEY! COME ON!" Serenity called from down the road.

"YAY!" Joey said, tearing off his horse costume, wearing nothing but tighty-whities as he ran screaming happily down the road to catch up with the others.

-ooo-

Hey everybody! Oh my gosh, that was a long chapter! Oh well, I'm like that.

Just for the record, I don't own Star Wars, the Pina Colata song, 'Selfless, cold, and composed' by Ben Folds Five, nor 'Paranoid' by Linkin Park.

Boy, have I been busy lately! I managed to pre-write another chapter on time for once, start another, and write a one-shot! THANK YOU SUGAR HIGHNESS (and vacation).

I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter, especially making fun of all the Old Western clichés. I especially liked to make it a living nightmare for the cowboy narrator person. And yes, I bet Joey is dumb enough to start a stampede and dumb enough to talk several hours with a pair of cacti.

Anyway, do you have any really funny stories on this sight that you like? I'm looking for a few good ones. Please, if you can find one with no romance (which is like impossible, I know), please bring it up. I could use something new to scream my head off at. NONE OF MY FAVORITES HAVE UPDATED IN A WHILE (sniff). That makes me sad.

Okay, here's a riddle. What do you get when you cross two lame-duck mob leaders, our heroes, and Tea? MAYHEM AND CHAOS IN OUR NEXT CHAPTER OF COURSE! Have a look!

-ooo-

I probably landed myself with the worst summer job on the planet. Stuck in a run down office in the middle of a lifeless city that never sleeps, not to mention works. What's a poor girl to do? I ask you.

And I thought that was how it was going to be. I thought the business would stay just as it always has…dead. Who am I you ask?

Gardner. Tea Gardner. Private eye.

As I was saying, life was pretty darn boring for me in those lonely months. At least, that's how it was. Then, one day, they came knocking at my door.

-ooo-

So what the crud is going on? Well, read the next chapter, while I go and steal the world's only comfortable pair of pantyhose! Bye-eye! Oh, and ENJOY THE OSCARS!