AN: Thanks for all the reviews everyone! I tried really hard to think of something more...defining, as a plot, and I only hurt myself. So I hope everyone stays with me as I work through this, and as we go through Kenny's troubles and tribulations!


Watch the Pendulum Swing

I'm stirred awake by Stan's hushed voice. He's trying to wake me quietly so Robinson, doesn't hear. I lift my head slowly so she doesn't take notice and give Stan a murmur of thanks as I follow him out of the classroom after grabbing my texts. I yawn and stretch when I'm outside the room, winching when I feel the slight throb from my shoulder. There's silence between Stan and I as we head to my locker, then his, before we start to make our way to the lunch room. He's not trying to hide the fact that he's staring intensively at my arm, and it makes me uncomfortable, so I make a sudden turn and head outside, pushing the heavy metal double doors open.

Stan wants to know, but I don't want him to know. Why do I care if he knows? Am I this worried that I would be short one friend? I just want him to keep on thinking the only thing wrong with me is my home life. I can still feel his eyes. Now I'm antsy. As I start walking towards the football field I pat my side pockets, my pants, taking out a pack of cigarettes, wondering where the hell I put my lighter last. Heading to the bleacher area where most of the smoker and drug addicts take in their daily addiction, an arm extends behind me holding out a lit lighter.

I murmur a thanks and light up, taking in a deep breath of the toxic fumes. I already feel a little better. I'm eighteen, so I'm not breaking any laws by smoking, ignoring that I started when I as twelve, but the school obviously doesn't allow smoking on campus. Most days I can make it through all my periods before needing a smoke, but Stan's gaze really got to me.

"I didn't know you smoked," came his voice. I turned surprised, I thought for sure he'd continue to the lunch room. He coughs when I accidently blow smoke in his eyes.

"Sorry." I mutter, looking down and kicking the soft blades of grass.

"Its alright." Stan waves a hand to clear the smoke and looks around at the crowd of people under here. No one's really with anyone else. The people under here are mostly the outcasts, kids too drugged up to make any friends. Some of them stare at Stan in recognition, wondering what the star athlete is doing in their turf. I can feel the silent message their sending him, they don't want him here, he's an outsider. Before anything can happen, I grab his arm and pull him off, heading toward the track field which is far from teacher eyes.

When we're far enough away from them I let him go and intake another breath of smoke.

"Maybe I'm just imagining things, but I didn't feel very welcomed there."

"You weren't. What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be meeting Kyle and Wendy for lunch?"

I don't know why, but I sounded almost... bitter. Having said that I remembered that I too, was supposed to meet Cartman for something. Well, what did it matter, it was probably nothing important anyway, but my stomach rumbled quietly.

Stan laughs a little. "Yeah, but I can tell you're hungry too, hope you like tuna fish?"

"If your mom made it, its fine. Thanks. So what are you doing out here, you didn't answer the question."

"Dude, you didn't think I was just going to let you take off like that did you? All of a sudden you were next to me and the next you swerved off. I had to go after you."

I leaned against the chain link fence that separated us from the freedom of the outside world, Stan sat next to me, watching as I put out the cigarette and reached for another. I looked to Stan when I remembered he had a lighter and I didn't. He shook his head at me.

"I did it once, I wont do it again, smoking isn't good for you Kenny, you know that."

I frowned, he would do this to me, when the nicotine was in my body, when I craved some more. I was about to ask why he had a lighter in the first place, when I saw it sticking out of his side pocket. It was a Zippo's lighter with an engraved naked woman. Hm, asshole. He must have pocketed it from me when I wasn't paying any attention. I had been really careful in stealing that and here he stole it from me without me noticing.

"I don't suppose you're going to give me back my lighter any time soon?" I asked.

Stan smirked and shook his head before standing. His smirk soon faded as he became silent. In agitation I began chewing on the end of the unlit cigarette.

"Kenny?" His voice was quiet and somewhat distant. I turned to face him.

I rose a questionable brow, asking him to continue.

"Your arm.."

Not this again. I shifted my stance, and released an annoyed sigh. He knew I didn't want him to know but he kept pressing the matter.

"You're sure, it wasn't your dad right?"

"No Stan, it wasn't him."

"Then you have to tell me how you got that cut! You can't really think I buy that 'I tripped and fell' shit do you!" His voice which had ben rising in anger fell quiet again. "You didn't... you didn't cut yourself did you?"

I couldn't help it but I laughed. "Dude, I'm a lot of things, but a self mutilator isnt one of them." I looked over at his serious face, he looked relieved.

"Good, good. I was worried there for a second. I guess you're really not going to tell me what happened are you?" I shook my head. "Okay, then lets head to lunch before we miss it completely."

I hesitated a moment. "I'll meet you there okay? I have to make a slight detour to the bathroom."

"Sure."

We headed back together, he took a different entrance to the school than I. So before I re-entered the school, I doubled back and extracted my lighter. As if I couldn't pick pocket myself. I smoked faster than I probably should have, ignoring the pressing it gave my chest, smashed it and headed back inside the school. Inhaling the smells of lunch, I wanted to gag. School lunches, have never been my forte. It's the one thing I don't mind not being able to afford.

Lunch itself though... I don't think teachers truly understand its importance. Yes, its where we refuel, where we can finally take our own time and not their's to socialize with our friends, but its something more. Its like heaven in hell. Not that I've ever been to heaven, and hell isnt actually that bad, but my point stays justified. It's bliss.

Even though I cant afford to bring lunch or buy lunch, both Kyle and Stan have gotten in the habit of packing extra food for me. Cartman of course, wouldn't share a crumb with me as he is a bastard. Even if I needed that one crumb to live, he'd rather let me die, saying I'd be back anyway.

Its been years though, since my comical recurring deaths were running rampage. It started by, me only dying every few days, then weeks, then months. Now I feel the next time I die, it will be for good. I guess God's got a heart after all.

I'm about to turn down the hallway where the cafeteria is located when I see Cartman leaning against the wall beside the doors.

He couldn't possibly be waiting for me... it just wouldn't be possible. Eric Cartman. Put someone else before food? That'll be the day. He glances in my direction, and smiles when he see's me, he even gives me a little wave.

I guess this is the day.

I walk up slowly, looking around as if I expect someone to jump out at me. It's that same smile I saw earlier. I gawk at him when I finally notice what he's wearing. He's changed into his church suit. I was going to just walk by him, and ignore him, but the suit caught my curiosity.

"There you are Kenny, you sure took some time getting here."

"Uh, yeah, I went out for a smoke... you weren't waiting up for me were you?"

"Of course I was, I told you I wanted to talk at lunch."

"Right." I folded my arms, time to quit the bull shitting around. "Just what did you want to talk to me about now, and why the hell are you wearing a suit?"

"Never mind that, you took so damn long getting here, I don't even know if she's still inside."

"She? Huh? Who are you talking about Cartman?"

He waved his hands in a dismissive fashion and peeked into the cafeteria windows. "Okay, she's still there." He grinned. "Go get Wendy for me."

"What? Is that all you wanted me to do?"

His grin faltered. "Why else would I want to talk to you? You're too poor to be of much use. Now go get her Kenny."

I scoffed, and began walking into the cafeteria having no intention of doing him any favors.

"Aye! If you don't do what I say Kenny I'll tell everyone about what happened at Bebe's party!"

That stopped me in my tracks. I groaned and gave my forehead a rub before facing Cartman and flipping him off. He smiled that evil grin and gave me a dismissal wave, nodding his head in Wendy's direction. I look away and see that most of the people in the cafeteria are shifting their eyes between both Cartman and I. I can see Stan and Kyle to the side with confused looks. I'm taking in the whole lunch scene but its Tweek my eyes are trying not to look at.

Bebe's last party ended up being one in which most people were drunk of their assess, and I was no exception. My disoriented drunk state of mind wandered the attached body up her stairs into a bedroom. One I intended to crash on, I could barely see straight and it was taking all my strength to stand up.

Unfortunately someone was already passed out on the bed. I had never seen Tweek look so... normal. For once he was calm, I thought for sure he still twitched in his sleep but no... He was lying face down on one of the many pillows, the smell of alcohol surrounded him as it did me.

And all of a sudden he began to shine to me. His golden locks were thrown over his sleeping eyes and the slight drool that was cascading from his partially opened mouth appealed to me in a way that can only be justified with drunkenness. Somehow I ended up on top of him, and somehow my clothes were off and so were his.

He must have been near death, because he never woke up as I fucked him senseless. Like the luck that's my life, Cartman walked in looking for Craig, for whatever reason. I was in mid orgasm and he just stared, didn't close the door, didn't say anything, he just stared like a mindless idiot. But his senses came back to him and he grinned, walking out.

It was him walking in that woke me from my drunk haze and I realized what I was doing. I quickly climbed from the still sleeping boy, dressed and got the hell out of there. As I passed Cartman, leaving the party, he hissed something to me. That I owed him if he intended to keep this secret. I didn't respond. I just left, and the next day at school when I saw Tweek he was walking funny. It was going around that he had woken up, completely naked with his ass sore as hell (I knew I had forgotten to do something before I left) . He didn't know what happened, but he blamed it on the liquor he had taken.

I avoided him like the plague for awhile, more than I usually did, knowing that I had taken his virginity without him knowing. Not one of my prouder moments, but what can I say? I was drunk.

And now I owed Cartman. Well getting Wendy wasn't much payment, but if he perceived it as fair trade, then who was I to argue. It could have been much worse. I approached the black haired girl that was sitting across from Stan.

"Wendy?"

She was already looking at me, as she was one that heard Cartmans little declaration.

"Fat ass wants a word with you."

Her brows furrowed in confusion, as did Stan and Kyle's. I said nothing more and took my spot next to her, across from Kyle. She stood slowly and eyed me suspiciously and with question. I put my hands up in defense.

"I don't know what he wants."

"Well, okay... I'll be right back." She parted from the three of us and walked out the cafeteria, the same door that I had entered, where Cartman was waiting.

"What did that fat fucker mean?" Kyle asked curiously, sipping some of his drink.

I shrugged nonchalantly and avoided his eyes. Kyle may know about my extracurricular activities but it was one thing for me to fuck complete strangers to him, but Tweek? That's too close to home. The less people that knew about that one, the better.

Stan was staring off in the direction that Wendy had left. "What could he possibly want with her?"

This time I could shrug in honesty.

"Don't know, but he was wearing his Sunday suit, if that helps any."

It clearly didn't, and he continued to eye the doors closely. I watched as he did so, as did Kyle. Kyle didn't look happy, not that I could blame him. It was a well known fact that Kyle and Wendy hated each other. Their only connection was Stan, if it wasn't for him they'd ignore each other completely, but as they both care for him, they tolerate each other presence.

Stan finally turned back around, shaking his head. "If I didn't know Wendy could take care of herself, I'd be worried."

"Yeah she is getting somewhat butch isnt she?" I heard Kyle mutter to his sandwich before he took a bite.

"What?" Stan asked confused, not having heard.

"Nothing, Kenny here's some of my moms almond sables that you like so much." He pushed a bag full of cookies towards me, having avoided Stan's wonder. I took the hint and took the cookies gratefully. I watched as Stan's eyes lit in remembrance as he handed me the tuna fish sandwich.

"Thanks guys."

"Sure." They replied in unison.

I ate in silence, observing Stan and Kyle talking cheerfully to each other, giving each other friendly pats. At one point I noticed as Kyle's hand lingered on Stan's more than it should have, but Stan didn't seem to notice, or to care. Kyle thought he caught me staring and retreated his hand. Even though I had witnessed that touch, it wasn't what I was staring out. As both the guys were facing away from the doors they didn't see the a girls head peeking in through the cafeteria windows. Her eyes were in my direction, but they weren't looking at me. She was looking at my two friends as they continued their chatter.

Lunch came and went, and Wendy never returned.


AN: Oh! I just remembered something! I answered BratChild2's newest challenge, to read it simply go to Freedom of Speech Fanfiction and search for my name. Its the only story I have there so far and its called 'Nowhere Fast'. I also put a link on my user bio, but those dont always work.

I'd post it on fanfiction, but its kinda NC-17 (? I don't actually know but I didn't want to test those waters). Haha, so you're warned. It's lemony slashy goodness, so go take a read! Please read and review both stories!

Faery Goddyss