Watch the Pendulum Swing
Stan and I leave later than he normally would since he doesn't have to pick me up for school, our only stop will be at Kyle's and I can see the awkwardness of the thought already absorbing him as he plays with his cereal.
"It is really that bad?" I ask, shoving a spoonful of cereal in my own mouth. Luckily for Stan his mom left early so she doesn't have to hear this conversation, and Mr. Marsh always leaves early in the morning.
"It hadn't really settled in last night, but now... how can I even look at Kyle?"
"You use your eyes."
He gave me a pained look, "what would you do in this case?"
"Bask. Kyle's one gorgeous Jew when you think about it, that soft smooth creamy skin, those red curls, that figure..." I break off in laughter when Stan gags out some of the chewed up breakfast. He looks up at me shocked but then he gives me a sort of nervous smile. He thinks I'm kidding.
"Right, ha-ha, laugh it up."
"I did," I point out. "Don't worry about it, do you think Kyle's gay?"
"No."
"Are you gay?"
"No!"
"Alright, then there's nothing to worry about, Wendy doesn't know what she's talking about right?"
"...right."
As I stand to put the rest of breakfast away I glance over at Stan who's looking intently at his bowl.
"Hey don't you think we should be going?" I ask and he looks up and nods, snapping back into reality.
We gather our school stuff and shove them in the back of the car and head to Kyle's house. It's another clear and cold day in South Park, I ignore the bitter wind that's blowing and rush inside the equally cold car that's been sitting outside all night. We sit in silence as he starts the car and waits for the engine to warm up. When it does he blasts the heat and we drive off to Kyle's. He's standing outside of his house and he gives us, or more likely me, a weird look when Stan pulls up on the side of the road.
He slides himself into the back seat of the car, throwing his backpack in first, "hey guys."
I say it back and give him a wave through the rear view mirror, Stan says nothing and begins clinging onto the steering as he turns back into the street heading toward our school. His turns and lane changes are jerky and I finally have to say something. If we get in a car accident, chances are I'll die and I wont be coming back.
"Would you stop gripping the steering wheel, you're going to get us in an accident."
"Oh," I watch as he loosen's his grip. "I didn't know I was doing that, sorry," seeing this as a window of opportunity to talk, Kyle raises his voice which had been silent since the morning greeting.
"Why did you pick Kenny up first if he's the furthest away?"
"Kenny spent the night."
Kyle doesn't say anything to this and I glance back at him, realizing I could revel in this, but he looks hurt. As if Stan had purposely invited me over and not him. Is it such a shock that Stan would want to spend any alone time with me? We are still friends even if we haven't been the closest, but yes, I guess it is a bit of a shock to the best friend.
"There were some... problems going on at my house last night," I answer him.
"Oh... you know you're welcome at my house as well Kenny."
I nod, remembering that, but I know I'll never take him up on his offer. Like I've said before, I like the Marsh's and I'm not that fond of Mrs. Broflovski. She doesn't know she does it but, I can feel her looking down at me when she see's me. I can sense that she doesn't think I'm good enough to be friends with her intelligent and well brought up son. I know she thinks I'll corrupt him and place him against her.
We arrive at our destination soon enough and head into the school. For the first time in... well ever, I'm in the middle. I'm separating the two best friends, and people are noticing. There's a unified silence as we pass groups of people and neither Kyle, Stan or I are saying anything. I glance over at Kyle and he's looking off to his side. When I look over at Stan, I see he's doing the same.
When I make the turn to where my locker is they both follow. The silence between them is starting to unnerve me and as I open my mouth to say something I hear a recognizable whine that can only be Cartman's voice. He's walking with Butters, and I can barely hear the conversation, but I do hear something about a cream that can fix that itching problem he has. I tune out.
Butters nervously says something in reply and hands Cartman some money before rushing off, giving Kyle, Stan and myself a nervous wave and a stuttering hello.
Cartman turns to us, "well if it isnt the Jesus killer, the poor piece of shit and the fag, morning guys."
It's a quick reaction and I don't even see Stan until he's pinned Cartman up against the lockers across from mine. He's holding a hand against Cartman's throat, and he whines in pain, but we all know with all his fat he doesn't feel a thing, if anything its just uncomfortable, not to mention he just cant fight, and Stan can.
"What the hell Stan! Get off me!"
"You fat fuck!" Stan replies, anger starting to heat his face. It takes a lot to hold someone that big up against a wall, but Stan holds tight.
"Dude, what! Get off me!"
"What? What! You know damn well why I'm doing this. Why the fuck would Wendy break up with me with a line like 'someone more kind hearted like Eric!'"
"Ahh, fuck you asswipe you're hurting me!"
"Answer the goddamn question Cartman!"
"How the hell should I know? I don't understand the mind set of a tree hugging hippie!"
"Fuck you Cartman, I know you did something! What exactly did you say to her?"
"Only the truth! That why would she want to date a fag?"
Stans fists clenched in anger. "You son of a bitch!"
Seeing that he wasn't going to be able to get Stan off himself, his little eyes turned to Kyle and myself for help he wouldn't receive.
"Guys! Get him off of me."
We both smirked and exchanged looks, "yeah, in a second Cartman." Kyle told him.
"What! You'll get yours Jew if you don't get your boyfriend off of me!"
"Kyle is not my boyfriend you fat fuck! Get that in your head!"
"If he's not your boyfriend why are you getting so defensive huh?"
I can see Stan is near punching Cartman into shutting up but from the distance, over the crowd that's gathered I can see a taller figure, Mr. Johnson, headed our way.
"Stan get off him, Mr. Johnson is coming our way."
Stan instantly released Cartman, not something he'd normally do but after one fight athletes are benched for the rest of the year. This school doesn't take outbursts lightly.
"You got lucky fat ass," Stan turned to stomp off, Kyle followed, while Cartman began coughing.
"Fucking fag."
"He went easy on you, you know," I say to him as I help him up, while wondering why I'm bothering.
"Dude whatever, I was just messing around, I could take his fag ass anytime," Eric grunts out.
"Right," I respond just as Mr. Johnson walks up.
"Kenny, glad I ran into you before class starts, meet me in my office. Your teachers and I have found someone for you."
I nod and he walks off. I'm glad he didn't say tutor, like I'd need Cartman to hear that I was following in my old mans footsteps. I look back at Cartman who's narrowing his eyes as he brushes himself off.
"Someone for what?"
"Nothing, I'd watch your back, I don't think Stan is done with you yet," he mutters something I cant hear before I turn and make my way down to Johnson's office. Walking in without knocking, I see him scribbling away on a stack of papers. I take my usual seat, having been in here numerous times when he had ran out of detention slips. I turn my head toward the window that's behind his desk. Class hasn't started yet but I can already see some students getting a head start on running laps for P.E.
"Alright Kenny, no point beating around the bush, the both of us have to get to the classroom soon. It has been decided that Kyle Broflovski will be your tutor."
How did I already know that?
"It makes sense, don't you think? He's the smartest one in your graduating class, in the school really and he's a friend of yours, as it appears."
I nod and Johnson gives me a manila of papers. "Inside that folder is a heads up on what's going to be taught this year in all your classes. Normally teachers don't do such a thing, but we worry about our failing seniors. Kyle will be informed in his first period of the teachers decision and if for some reason he declines we have a backup student, but chances are Broflovski will accept. Any questions?" I shake my head, "good, now get to class, I'll be in shortly."
I take the folder and walk out closing the door softly behind me, as I head in the direction of my first period, I open the folder and leaf through the material that Kyle is going to be helping me with for the rest of the year. It all might as well be written in a foreign language as none of it makes any sense. I heave a big sigh before heading back to my locker and grabbing the books I had forgotten about due to Stan's outburst on Cartman.
Today, is the last day of routine, Friday has finally reared its beautiful head and while I should be jumping for joy, but I don't because Stan ends up being in the corner I would turn to for class. He's looking at me rather impassively with folded arms as he leans against a few lockers to the side. I can feel he wants to talk, but now is not the time, and the warning bell that sounds proves that I'm right, but he doesn't seem to hear it. He's in my way of getting to class and there will be no way around him unless he moves himself.
"Where's Kyle?" I ask without thinking and I can see his eyes flash for a second.
"Why do you do that? Why does everyone do that?" He asks back.
"Do what?"
"Ask where Kyle is when he isnt by my side, we don't do everything together."
"Might as well, besides you don't say Kyle's name out loud without saying yours and vice versa," I shrug. "Guess its just habit, look what is it that you wanted? Johnson knows I'm here so I cant be late and skipping is out of the question."
He raises his left eyebrow in question, "since when have you been one to care about the rules? You smoke on campus, you cheat and you steal and you're worried about skipping a class?"
Stan has a point and we make our way into the boys bathroom, booting out some freshman so we can have some privacy. I dump my books on the tiled ground, knowing how disgusting it is first hand, but its cleaner than my own kitchen tile. I hop up on one of the sinks and lean against the mirrors feeling like I'm in an interrogation room, that is if you ignore the sinks, and the smell of the urinals. Stan leans against the door to make sure no one else comes in.
"Okay, what?" I ask when I'm as comfortable as I'm going to get.
"You."
"Me?"
"How could you defend Cartman like that earlier?"
"What? I never defended him."
"You helped him back up and stayed with him when I left, isnt that defending, as if saying what he's done is right?"
"No, I just helped him up, what's the big deal? I didn't do it consciously if that makes you feel better."
"It doesn't. You're supposed to my friend. You side with me."
My eyebrows scrunch together, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were starting to sound possessive of me." I meant this light heartedly but I didn't feel light hearted when I said it. Annoyance was creeping in when I came to the realization that Stan was in fact sounding possessive. Like I didn't get enough of that shit from girls and at home.
He sighed and looked toward the ceiling. "Sorry, I don't mean to, its just... right now Kenny, I really need you okay?" He looked back at me, "with Wendy suddenly dumping me for, what's probably Cartman, and this whole Kyle thing, it's weirding me out alright? When I was walking to class with him I kept thinking back to all the times we've spent alone together. Watching a movie, ice skating, playing video games, whatever. He stares at me Kenny, a lot, I think too much and I think he finds excuses to touch me more than he should." The final school bell sounds, interrupting him but he continues on.
"I don't know, I just... maybe I'm being paranoid but I cant be around him and feel normal right now. I need you, I need normalcy, and I know this could be asking a lot of you, but we are friends aren't we?"
I nod slowly.
"And friends should be there for each other, and I need you to be here for me, I just... need you. It's just all this stuff opening at once and I'm still so fucking angry at Cartman, and its not like we don't have fun when we hand out..."
He continues on and I try to pay attention but I cant because he keeps saying he needs me by his side, not that he wants me by his side, and for a few moments I think I'm only going to be a replacement for him until he comes back around to Kyle. I hate that I'm thinking that but its's always been like this. I'm only Kenny, nothing special with a not so great life, no one wants me around, but if I can be of assistance to anyone I'm suddenly needed. You'd think a guy would get used to this, but I haven't, especially from someone who claims to be a good friend of mine.
"Kenny?"
Calling my name brings me out of my personal pit of wallow. I look at his pleading eyes, he really does need this, but I won't be ready to return to my backseat when Kyle returns. I know I wont I already know that much, but I cant leave him like this. Stan is a friend, only one of three, two technically, and he's never asked anything of me before so I feel inclined to nod at him. He releases a breath he was holding and smiles at me, and I barely feel as my heart suddenly thumps against my chest.
After school Kyle gets a ride home from Bebe since Stan has to stay after school for a past season football meeting. Bebe also offers me a ride but I decline saying I'm getting a ride from someone else. Kyle looks at me curiously before telling me to call him later about when we can get together. He wants to go over all the tutoring material with me this weekend and I nod in agreement.
"Alright, see you sometime this weekend dude," he says as he climbs into Bebe's girl infested car. I give a small wave as the car maneuvers out of the parking lot.
Actually I don't have a ride home, today, I'd rather walk. It'll take like 7 hours but that's 7 hours of quiet that I don't get that often. This afternoon I have my lighter and I use it. I kick some of the old browning snow wondering when we're going to get a fresh new layer. The air isnt right for a snowfall, but it smells like rain despite the fact that there isnt a cloud in the sky.
I stay as far to the curb as I can walking on the right side of the street. I get honked out by various students who drive this way home, a few from South Park ask if I want a ride home, but I decline them all, walking seven hours isnt so bad. Some of the people are more persistent to get me to go with them, but I stand firm in my decision.
Somewhere in my second hour of walking a car slows next to me. Not knowing the time I still assume its another good Samaritan trying to give me a lift home, I don't even turn to face the car as I say no thank you, and that I'm fine.
"Since when are you that polite?"
The female voice makes me turn my head slowly to face her. It's the same chick who had run off with my wallet and had given me the cut on my shoulder that I still have.
"What the fuck do you want?"
She laughs, "that's the kid I know." I hate that she calls me a kid, I know she's ten years older than me but it doesn't stop her from fucking and cutting a kid. "I've been thinking Kenny..."
"That you ought to apologize for knifing me?" I interrupt her.
She chuckles. "Oh yeah, sorry about that, I needed some fast cash and I wouldn't have had I known you were so broke, anyway that's not what I was thinking... I have some time, I'm not at all busy for a few hours, want to come over to my place?"
My shoulder suddenly throbs as if to remind me what she did to me, but I'm also weary and the cigarettes aren't making me feel better like they usually do, and I do need a good lay. So with a little reluctance I agree and sit in her car. She smiles at me, like this is something she does on a daily basis and it probably is.
There's no more talk when we enter her house, as we make our way to her bedroom, we both only want one thing and its not each others conversation. It was strange this time around, because I wasn't focused like I usually am. My mind wasn't on the naked women in front of me that was moaning my name. I kept thinking of what Stan said to me in the bathroom earlier today and everything that happened the night before at his house.
I think that when I see him next, he'll have to change my bandaged arm again, and I think even more that my hair is cut, it looks different and no one said anything about it, not one person. I think of the upcoming tutoring session with Kyle and how torn he looked during lunch when Stan more or less ignored him. I think how I smiled internally about that and I realize that I am happy Kyle gets to be me in Stan's eyes for awhile, second best.
I think what this could mean for me, that maybe I'll finally get what I've wanted for such a long time, a true friend, a great one, one I can tell everything too. As the woman beneath me climaxes and pants out breath she reaches up and brushes a hand through my blonde hair.
"Did, you..." she takes a few breaths. "Cut your hair or something?"
I laugh and climb up off of her, putting my clothes back on. I don't have time for this, I still have a three hour walk ahead of me, and when I get outside its raining.
AN: Hmm... I think this is where the bit of plot starts. I thought of giving Kenny's... er, play thing a name but then I thought, no. Giving her a name means saying she's important and she's not. Thanks for the past reviews everyone! Please make my day and do it again!
Faery Goddyss
