"I'm a fartinair!"
(A quote by my little brother)
NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE LOVELY, LOVELY REVIEWERS!
Funky Egyptian
I've made you hyper AGAIN? Ouch.
YAY! Glad you liked this chapter though. YOU'RE SICK! I hope you got better. SICK ISN'T FUN! (Unless you get to stay home from school, then it's kind of fun). Hope you like this chapter too!
Dark Princess Saz
Yami's afraid of rats? THAT HILARIOUS!
Ahem. Anyway, can't believe I mistook 'sea chicken' for 'space chicken'. But still Chicken Invaders sounds like an awesome game! Almost as fun as Bunny Bashers!
I usually only get mail from my reviewers as well. If my brother signs me up for Neopets…he shall pay…OH WELL! Thank you, as always, for the hilarious review, and may you rack up the high score on Space Chickens! BUA HA HA!
Pointe Master
THANK YOU! Fear not! No actual ballerinas were harmed in the making of chapter one. They were made of foam latex.
I'm glad that you think this story is good for people who need a laugh. I always need to keep an arsenal of comedy videos and DVDs, just in case a bad day comes. And if I can help people in that way, YAY!
Thankie Spankies again! Hope you come back!
Mizz-Serenity-Wheeler
Great to see you back! Nothing's more funner than un-dramatic entrances, eh?
Thank you for explaining the Skoobies. NOW I UNDERSTAND! And why does your sister get TWO cakes? Very odd. Oh, and your idea about the chapters was really good!
And Moonlight Shadow is an awesome pen name. I'd back it. THANKYOUSOMUCHANDIHOPEIGETTOTALKTOYOUAGAIN!
Cute lil Yami
I still love the word Goounylarious.
The Silver Spork of Polite Intervention is pretty weird. As is Ryo I suppose.
The phobia of mice was originally going to be a phobia of cats, because I think soft, fluffy cats would be a more befitting fear for Seto (laughs) but in the end, mice won out, and I'm kind of glad. I think it all worked out in the end.
Mer her her. Kami. Fluffy. How scary.
ICE CREAM! More sugar, awesome! Thank you CLY, and I hope you like this chapter!
An Unknown Someone
Pegasus's minions will show up latter in the story, and we'll see more of Pegasus as well. In fa-act, Pegasus himself shall be the chief cause of the SUPER DRAMATIC CHAPTER that's coming up! (Evil Music)
Dartz, sad to say, is NOT showing up in this series. However, he, and all of his minions of angst and insanity shall show up in my next story! MER HER!
Tristan's One And Only Fangirl
Things'n'Stuff'n'Junk. I'd like to have a knick-knack store like that somewhere. I love random thingits.
I'm glad you like The Heart of the Idiots! I just did it because I was bored one day. I'm thinking about doing the sequel A Second Helping of the Heart of the Idiots, but that probably won't come up for a while. Exams are coming up .X.
Everything Joey says both scares me and amuses me. Thank you for pointing out the spelling error. STUPID ME!
And enjoy the chapter, got it?
LoneFlyinTigers
Nice pen name!
Thanks for liking this story so much! I enjoy Serenity butt kicking as well! You are so sweet by reading the entire thing. It's getting kind of long.
Yes, no matter what, we all love Joey. Just because…he's Joey! Thank you so much for the kind review!
Mokuba's Official Glomper
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
I still love your reviews (laughs). And I'll try to hook up with that author of yours. I"VE BEEN SO BUSY LATLY! (Eye swirls) Anyway, your mom doesn't like the sound of typing, does she?
I LUV BORDERS!
Sorry, I need to scream that out. Alister…you know, I think he should be the leader of the Doom Bikers, Dartz should bounce around in a midriff. AH! SCARY THOUGHT! GO AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
"…I am asleep and snoring…snore…not plotting your death…" Very funny!
LIKE THIS CHAPTER OR ELSE!
Serenity-Yugioh-Fan05
GAAH! I WISH I KNEW HOW FF dot Net worked! How do you find stories written by authors when you go to their bios? Now all I see is this story sorter junk. ACH!
Anyway, thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked the rainbow scene! The magical girl is scary but funny, and you'll like her in this chapter too! C'ya!
Hypolitian Warrior
Magical girls are a little too preppy for my taste, but they sure are fun to write about!
Oh yes, I'm glad you reviewed! Hway! I don't think I can think of anything better to say. Now…
ONTO THE CRAZINESS!
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
If I Only Had Cosplay Lass and Lady Light
"-they're going to take over the world…" Ryo said, as a dramatic 'bum bum bum' played in the background.
"What?" Joey said, who wasn't paying attention.
"They're going to take over the world!" Ryo said, and the 'bum bum bum' sounded again.
"Cheh, yeah right," Joey said. "Says who?"
"Well, after excruciating research, pouring through hundred, well, actually, only one ancient manuscript, and a whole lot of gourmet hot chocolate, I have discovered the secret to the mice people's evil plot," claimed Ryo.
"Chocolate?" Joey asked.
"And I even had enough time to create an awesome power point presentation," said Ryo, pulling out an easy-pro attached to a laptop computer from nowhere of particular importance.
"Aw, I hate notes!" Joey said, as Ryo flicked it on, revealing a power point presentation that was labeled 'How Were All Going to Get our Rears Kicked; by Ryo Bakura'.
"Okay," said Ryo, as the first slide came up, showing a rodeo clown. "In this modern world, clowns are sorry men and women who wear almost as much makeup as today's pop stars, huge shoes, and wigs that are nearly as weird as Cher's."
"NO WAY!" Joey screamed.
"But," Ryo said, clicking to another slide, showing some ancient people dancing around a fire in grass skirts, "in ancient times, clowns were said to be the direct descendents of Thru'harapo, the great Eurasian god of War, Fruit, and patron god of beauty stylists."
"Cool…" Joey said.
"Also," Ryo said, clicking another slide, showing the weirdo people with a huge picture of a clown, "these native people believed that merely possessing a picture of a clown, one was destined for victory, salvation, and free hot fudge sundaes at Friendlies."
Joey just drooled.
"When the Christian Inquisition started, at about the same time baths were deemed a mortal sin, this great belief system was nearly wiped out from human history," said Ryo, after clicking over to a slide that showed a bunch of crusaders on horseback.
"So what's with the nose picking and sticking out the tongue?" Joey asked.
"The sticking out of the tongue came from ancient Germanic tribes," said Ryo, clicking to a slide showing a bunch of warriors sticking out their tongues. "This was their secret symbol that the tribesmen were to attack and conquer land. The public didn't have any clue what it meant until just recently!"
"And the nose picking?" asked Joey.
"That came from Renaissance Italy," said Ryo, clicking to a slide showing an Italian noble picking his nose, and a lady walking over to him, rolling up her sleeve. "This was to symbolize the night, because one's nostril is said to be as dark and incredibly scary as it. However, this was used to symbolize either 'I wish to see your beautiful face for dinner tonight' or 'I'm a horrendous pig'."
"So?" Joey asked.
"Come on Joey," Ryo said. "Warrior God, attack and conquer, night. Put it all together."
The Jeopardy thirty second song played in the background, and Joey stood blankly into space, drooling.
"Em…Joey?" Ryo asked.
"I GOT IT!" Joey screamed. "It means…THEY WANT TO TAKE US OUT TO DINNER!"
"No Joey," said Ryo, "It means that they are going to take over all the land this night, and if we don't stop them, we will need to learn to speak mouse. Do you really want that Joey?"
"Wait," Joey said. "We'll have to LEARN SOMETHING? This shall not be! BUTT MAN WILL STOP THOSE FIENDISH FIENDS!"
"And Ghost Boy!" Ryo said cheerfully.
Suddenly, in a furry of squeaks and scampers across the floor, three mice people slid out of the gloom of the library and materialized in front of our (sort of) heroes.
"So," said one of them, pulling out a rather sharp piece of gorgonzola cheese from behind him, "I suppose you've found out the grand plan. That's a bit of a shame really, we were hoping you were the type of superhero who's so stupid they don't find out the plan until right before the world was going to be destroyed."
"We've whated the what?" Joey asked.
"So now that you've actually found out the plan, we're going to have to kill you," said another mouse person.
"You know, you really can break tradition once and awhile," Ryo said, as he and Joey were being slowly backed into a corner.
"Actually, we can't," said the first mouse person. "Ever since the union of EVARP, the Evil Villains and Arch Rivals Program was okayed about fifty years ago, evil villains have had to go by strict guidelines and procedures."
"Well, can't you just go against it once?" Ryo asked with huge chibi eyes in a last ditch attempt to save Joey and his backsides.
"Actually, the rules are so strict, that if any of them are broken, we lose both grants and resources," said the third rat person. "Then we have to do independent evil jobs, like stock marketing and thinking up plots for reality shows."
"Don't you just hate blue capes?" Joey asked.
"The term's red tape Joey," Ryo said.
"Well, I'm glad that this has all been sorted out," said the first rat person, pulling out a piece of Swiss in the shape of a gun. "Gentlemen, you have arrived into your own tombs for all eternity!"
"We're going to be buried in a library?" Joey asked. "Jeez, that's lame."
"Alright," said Ryo. "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice. You must now face…THE SILVER SPORK OF PO-"
The second he tried to draw out the magical spork dramatically, it accidentally flew out of his grip and straight through a florescent light, causing a huge shock wave that instantly ousted the rest of the lights, submerging the entire library into darkness.
"Wow, that went out ten times better than I expected," said a pair of Ryo eyes, which shot off as Joey grabbed. "But there's one last thing that's puzzling me. How are we going find the door?
CRASH!
Leaving another huge hole in the wall, Joey crashed right through it, still pulling Ryo along like a flag, and leaving three very angry mice people screaming very dirty swear words in the background.
"So that's how," Ryo said.
"DON'T WORRY GHOST BOY!" said Joey, throwing Ryo at the car without the door open, causing Ryo just to slam up against the glass, and slide down rather painfully. "I'LL SAVE US!"
"Wonderful," said a slightly bruised Ryo as he opened up the door and hopped in.
"TIME TO FLOOR IT!" Joey screamed, slamming down on the gas so hard that even though the car was in 'park', it shot off into the night while careening down the road at about 130 miles per hour.
---ooo---
Kami was happily dusting the furniture in the entry room of the Inn, which had had it's generator fixed during a period of time of no particular importance, with a huge feather duster that she made sure that the ostriches that provided the feathers weren't brutally slaughtered. Yes, Kami's a bit of an animal lover. Anyway, she was humming cheerfully at the exact same moment slammed the door open with her left platform strap, an unconscious Seto on her back.
"Oh, hello there dear!" Kami said cheerfully. "How was your trip out?"
"Well, it was pretty bad to begin with…now that you mention it, the middle wasn't that fun either…and the end consisted of carrying the world's tallest stick figure home while wearing platforms after getting mauled."
"So…mediocre then?" asked Kami.
"Yeah, somewhere on those lines," Serenity said.
"AH! MICE PEOPLE!" Seto screamed, suddenly regaining consciousness.
"Go back to being passed out Seto," Serenity said.
"'Kay," said Seto, feinting again.
"But the weirdest thing is that just when I was getting the tar kicked out of me, some random magical girl came to our rescue," Serenity said. "Do you know any magical girls wandering around?"
"Wow, a magical girl?" asked Kami. "Wow, we haven't had one of those in a while. They moved out once the mice people came in…and the urban sugar ban was put up."
"Great," said Serenity. "Well, Joey and Ryo are still missing, and Seto, at this point, is about as useful as a car that the designer forgot to put an engine in. Well, in desperate times, there's only one thing a girl can do!"
"Eat fresh baked chocolate chip cookies while watching reruns of 'The Nanny'?" asked Kami.
"Exactly," said Serenity, heading toward the stairs. "You start up the tapes, I'll put Seto on the roof."
---ooo---
"So how can we possibly reverse this?" Ryo said. "Ever mouse person in the modern world is marching with ill-deserved confidence right into this town to conquer the world, destroy our great civilization, and ruin every nice piece of cheese from here to Honduras."
"Wow, that's a bummer," said Joey. "BUT FEAR NOT YOUNG WARD! I have devised a plan-"
"Yay!" Ryo said.
"-but then I forgot it-" Joey said.
"Oh," Ryo said.
"-but then I thought up a new plan!" Joey said.
"Yay!" Ryo cried.
"But then I forgot that one too," Joey said.
"Oh," Ryo said.
"But then I remembered the original plan!" Joey said.
"Yay!" Ryo said.
"But then I forgot to write it down and watched so many episodes of 'The Most Extreme' on Animal Planet-" Joey said.
"I think I have a general idea of the direction that this conversation is going in," Ryo said. "Wait, Joey, I have an idea!"
"NO WAY!" Joey screamed.
"Maybe, if we find the leader of the mice people, and if she hears us out, she'll call off the attack!" Ryo said. "Hooray for diplomacy!"
"COOL!" Joey asked. "So which way is she?"
"Well, that's kind of the flaw in the plan," Ryo said. "I…have no clue."
"Hmm…" Joey said in deep thought, as a huge, neon sign flashed over his head that had a huge arrow on in and said 'THIS WAY TO THE QUEEN OF THE MICE PEOPLE'. "Where could she be?"
"Never mind Joe," said Ryo, grabbing him and pulling him in the direction of the arrow.
---ooo---
MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN A SMALL, SUBURBAN TOWN NOT TOO FAR FROM SALEM OREGON
"Once upon a time, there was a lovely little psycho named Herman," read a Kindergarten teacher to her class. "He one day got bored and killed everyone on the entire planet, then baked some golden cornbread. The end."
---ooo---
BACK TO THE ACTUAL STORY
"Seto!" Serenity cried, opening the trap door that lead to the roof. "Are you done hyperventilating? I need to go off and find Joey and Ryo before it gets…too…dark…"
To Serenity's shock, horror, confusion, and the ten million emotions in between, the roof was completely empty, and there was a small letter that was lying under a small rock to keep a small wind from blowing it away. Serenity wondered why Shrilanka-San continued to torture her, but picked up the note and began to read the words in very fancy but very hard to make out cursive. It even had the 'Q's that are shaped like 2.
Serenity,
Gone off to fight the mice people and conquer my fear of mice. I don't want to, but your stupid plush cat won't get off my back, and gave me a huge lecture on responsibility, which I could, at this point, really care less about. However, she guilt tripped me into going.
So now I'm heading off into the streets with your stupid plush cat. I'll be back either in two hours or never. Hope you're not too miffed. Well, actually, I don't care.
I hate you and your stupid plush cat,
Seto
P.S. If I don't come back, my last wish is that Joey be sold to provide research for cures to basic insanity.
"Perfect," Serenity said, tearing the letter in half. "Je-yust peachy."
---ooo---
"For the last time, we're lost," Seto said, Ms. Fuzzy-Kins riding on his head. "We don't know we are, we don't know where the mice people are, thankfully, and we don't know where the Mutt and Ryo are, another blessing in disguise."
"So in your mind, we have two blessings to one curse, and you're still griping," Miss Fuzzy-Kins said.
"Shut up," said Seto.
"I don't understand you," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins. "I can read your thoughts, but I still can't understand you. You hate everyone and everything, yet you're going out to save two weirdos."
"One, I don't hate everyone, I just like very few people, and I lack a heart," Seto said. "Two, I'm only doing this because you threatened to hack off both of my arms with a meat cleaver. A dull meat cleaver."
"So?" Ms. Fuzzy-Kins asked.
"Well God, isn't there anything that you're scared off?" Seto said.
"You scare me," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins.
"I mean something that gives you nightmares every night that you see one, makes your skin crawl, and activates the fight-or-flight response in your nervous system?" Seto asked.
"Um…nope, still you," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins.
"Consciences just don't understand these things," Seto said. "When some deranged rodent just starts attacking you when you're four years old, and completely scaring you emotionally for life, and every time you turn around, your scared, because you just know there's going to be one behind you, just waiting to maul you and chop you into tiny meat fillets. I can't get them off my mind. My every waking thought consists of horrid death by-oooh, are those memory cards?"
They were right next to an electronic store, so Seto's attention was immediately diverted toward the latest technological advances in nerdom.
"Odd, I keep hearing little squeaky noises," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins.
"AHDONTLETTHEMGETME!" Seto screamed, tearing Ms. Fuzzy-Kins off his head and squeezing her in his arms.
"You amuse me Seto," Ms. Fuzzy-Kins said. "But if you popped any seams, you're dead."
---ooo---
"Sorry Kami, but I have to go off again," Serenity said, hovering by the doorway out into the streets. "All three of the others are going to do something stupid, so as usual, I have to risk getting my butt whomped…alone…against a swarm of mice people.
"Do you want me to make you a nice packed meal?" Kami asked, holding out a paper bag with a small turkey and cheese sandwich with some lettuce thrown in for variety, a bag of Lays, and some Oreos.
"No thank you Kami, I doubt I'm coming back from this one alive," said Serenity. "It's just four of us against an entire mass dictatorship of mutated rodents. The chances of us beating them are like the sky ripping open and having orange Telitubies rain from it. Not entirely impossible, but pretty much so."
"Well, that's not a very positive attitude," said Kami.
"Sorry Kami," sighed Serenity. "I can't help but feel like soon I will be dead. Goodbye possibly forever Kami…"
"No Serenity, you won't die!" said Kami heroically.
"What? Do you have a crystal ball?" Serenity asked.
"Nope! But I do have a magic wand!" Kami said. "SUGARY FLUFFY THINGS, GIVE ME STRENGTH!"
And upon saying the magic words, the magical girl transformation began. With a sparkly background, implied nudity, cool ribbon things spinning around and turning into clothes and such, Kami was shrouded in a fu-fu skirt, tall boots, sailor top, long white gloves, and a magic wand.
"YOU'RE LADY LIGHT?" Serenity cried.
"You bet you're socks!" Kami said. "Yeah, I was going to tell you, but I had to help Ms. Fuzzy-Kins fix the generator, and Monsior Fatso in suite 74 barfed up all of his frog legs, so I was pretty busy up until you came home, and then I was too amused by the reruns."
"Ah," Serenity said.
"Fear not Serenity! I shall aide you in rescuing your monkey boys and plushie!" said Kami. "But first…"
"Yes?" asked Serenity.
"You are going to get a super hero costume aren't you?" she asked.
---ooo---
"Here we are Joey," said Ryo, standing outside of a huge, dark, scary looking mansion. "The evil lair of the Queen of the Mice People!"
"Ooh, pretty," said Joey.
"Okay, so here's my plan," said Ryo. "We walk in, state our business in a firm but reasonable manor, ask to speak to the Mouse Queen, be on our best behavior, and try to make a deal about not taking over the world."
"And then we beat them up?" Joey asked.
"No Joey, there's no beating up involved," said Ryo.
"Please?" Joey asked.
"No," Ryo said. "Now lets go over this again. Walk in, state business, speak to Mouse Queen, talk it over."
"Walk in," Joey said, "state business, speak to mouse queen, beat up stuff, talk it over."
"No Joey, no beating up," Ryo said.
"State business, walk in, beat up stuff, talk it over, beat stuff up, speak to Mouse Queen, beat stuff up, talk it over…then beat stuff up."
"No Joey. Repeat after me. Walk in…"
"Walk in…"
"…state business…"
"…state business…"
"…speak to Mouse Queen…"
"…speak to Mouse Queen…"
"…talk it over."
"…talk it over…then beat stuff up."
"THERE WILL BE NO BEATING STUFF UP!"
"No?"
"NO!"
"Not at all?"
"No. None at all. No beating up. Period. Stop. No mas."
"Okay…so no beating up?"
"YE-ES!"
"Kay! Just some beating up!"
"No! There will be no beating up whatsoever. None at all. Do not beat things up, and do not even think of beating things up, unless the next thought that runs in your head is that 'no, I shall never do it'. Understand?"
"No beating up?"
"No, none at all."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"Alright."
---ooo---
"Did I not tell you not to beat stuff up?" Ryo asked, both of them tied up to a pair of chairs, waiting for their horrible punishment while being guarded by two mouse people. "You really should work on your listening skills Joey. It's one of the most basic qualities that separates us from rabid animals."
"Sorry, did you say something?" Joey asked.
"Alright you lowly durgs!" proclaimed an announcer mouse person. "Bow in humbleness towards our grand, wise, attractive, sought after, mammalian, clean, stern, just, superior, wonderful, awesome, fantastic ruler of all kingdoms! THE QUEEN OF THE MICE PEOPLE!"
And so, as great long trumpets pealed their gallant tolls, and the mousey guard fell down on one knee, the great Mouse Queen strode forward. She was clad in majestic splendor, the finest satin-polyester fabric, bought from the most prestigious craft store in the northern district of a northern town somewhere on the beaches of the Niagara area in Canada. It's train was a solid four feel long, bedecked in such natural beauty of bird feathers, peanut shells, and acorns. She stood at a massive seven feet, nine and a half inches tall, the greatest specimen of mouse yet to be seen by the eyes of mortal men…and Joey.
"WHAT HO VILE CREATURES?" bellowed the mouse queen in a deadly, but regal, tone of voice. "Who dares to try to alter the supreme plans of the supreme mistress of her race!"
"Um, yes, about that," Ryo said politely. "We were wondering if we could talk this over, maybe discuss our differences in a calmer, more pleasant atmosphere-"
"SILENCE!" screamed the Mouse Queen. "How dare you try to use the supreme power of the Silver Spork of Polite Intervention? You lowly dog…YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE WITH YOUR LIFE!"
"Wow you're a big fat meanie head!" Joey said.
"And you, blonde knave!" cried the Mouse Queen, pointing an knarled claw at Joey. "You foul demon, who has tortured our land with your horrible, butt-centered jokes, and your posterior-based justice! For eons, you have plagued our land, and burned our crops, and-"
"Actually, we haven't done any of that," Ryo said.
"HOLD YOUR TONGUE!" screamed the Mouse Queen. "You will all suffer terrible punishment for your deeds, and in a very specific order. First, you will all have to hop up and down and do a silly dance for exactly five minutes and seventeen seconds. Next, you will all have to sit in a moderately comfy chair and discuss your feelings. After that, we knock your blocks off. Clear?"
"Oh yes, very," Ryo said.
"NOT SO FAST!" said Seto, bursting open the door, Ms. Fuzzy-Kins still riding on his head.
"OHMYGOD! IT'S A TOOTH FAIRY!" screamed the Mouse Queen.
"No," Seto said flatly. "I'm here to…to…I can't say it, it hurts too much."
"Save our lives?" Ryo asked hopefully.
"Whatever," Seto said darkly. "But mostly to stop being so scared of harmless members of the rodent family! YOU PEOPLE RUINED MY LIFE! YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS!"
"Don't you usually start feinting at this point?" Joey asked.
"Yep, and if it weren't for that ten gallons of mountain dew I drank four minutes ago, I probably would be out of it," Seto said. "But no. This time, it's just you, me, and Ms. Fuzzy-Kins you dirty stinkin' mice…oh, and a small fish I carved out of a bar of deodorant soap."
Seto held out the fish, and everyone sweat dropped.
"ATTACK!" screamed the Queen of the Mice People.
"THIS WILL BE TOO EASY!" Seto yelled.
---ooo---
"Boy, how ironic can this story get?" Ryo asked.
"Shut up Ryo," said Seto, also tied up to the other two.
"Alright, where exactly were we?" the Mouse Queen asked. "Oh yes, the torture. ONTO-"
"NOT SO FAST!" screamed Serenity, bursting into the door wearing the same garb as Miho from 'Megatokyo', including the black mini dress, black combat boots, black and white socks, and her impossible hair ribbons. "FOR YOU SHALL SUFFER THE PAIN OF…COSPLAY LASS!"
"And Lady Light!" cried Kami, flying into the room.
"WHAT TOOK YOU SO DARN LONG?" Seto yelled.
"Too scared huh?" Serenity asked. "Well anyway, we would have got here earlier, but it we ran into traffic on the way to WalMart. Plus, these hair ribbons aren't the easiest things to put in your bangs. Oh yeah, and the cashier was a big fat freak, and we had to do girly eyes to get through. And that can be strenuous when it's done right."
"Yeah, great story," said the Mouse Queen. "NOW FOR YOUR UNTIMELY END!"
"Ha!" Serenity said. "This shall be both quick and highly amusing!"
---ooo---
"Wow, this is creepy!" said Ryo. "It's just one irony after another!"
"Ryo, as much as I think it will hurt you to say this, you're just adding insult to injury," said Serenity as she was tied up with Kami and the others.
"NOT SO FAST!" Seto yelled.
"Okay, this is getting way to Monty Python for my taste," said Serenity. "Plus, if you haven't noticed, YOU'RE TIED UP TOO!"
"Maybe so," Seto said. "But all of this amusing antics, the real hero of the day had time to re-gear."
Just as Ryo said 'huh?', there was a huge, reloading 'click', Ms. Fuzzy-Kins appeared with the biggest Super Soaker known to man.
---ooo---
Okay, I think you're really going to like this part of the chapter. This is probably the most well written part of the chapter, quite possibly the book. Millions of dollars were used to make this scene, I mean, stunt doubles, water, super soakers, ninja trainers, stunt doubles for stunt doubles, stunt doubles for the stunt doubles for the stunt doubles, stunt doubles for the water, stunt doubles for the ninja people, buildings, and a whole lot of coffee. So now, for your viewing pleasure-
DUE TO MASSIVE BUDGET CUTS, NINJA STRIKES, THE FACT THAT THIS IS SOME STUPID TEENAGER'S STORY INSTEAD OF A PROFESSIONAL'S, AND THE FACT THAT AN ELDERLY WOMAN IN SOME SMALL TOWN WAS OFFENDED BY THE FOLLOWING, THE EXTREMLY EXPENSIVE FIGHT SCENE WAS CUT FROM THE CHAPTER, AND THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN SHORTENED TO ACCOMPIDATE FOR THE LOSS. WE ARE SORRY (WELL, NO WE AREN'T) FOR ANY INCONCVINIENCE
…
…okay…here's the rest of the chapter
---ooo---
"Wow, that was an awesome fight scene," said Joey.
"ALRIGHT!" said a very soaked Mouse Queen, waving a white flag. "I surrender! Just…just please don't drench me again!"
"Promise not to try to take over the world?" Ryo asked.
"YES!" cried the Mouse Queen.
"Promise to go home and be nice?" Ryo asked.
"YES, YES ALREADY!" screamed the Mouse Queen. "We'll go home, be nice, knit fancy socks for the unfortunate, EVERYTHING! JUST DON'T SQUIRT US AGAIN!"
"LUCKY PAIR O' SCISSORS TIME!" Joey said, cutting the rope and setting everyone free.
"Oh figures," said Serenity.
"Well, now that the siege is over you can leave the town!" Kami said, removing her mask and revealing that she was Kami.
"Wait," Joey said. "KAMI WAS THE MAGICAL GIRL?"
"Yeah Joey, everyone knew that," Seto said.
"Huh?" Joey asked. "But…how?"
"Well, it was really obvious now that you mention it," said Kami.
"Yeah, you're just dumb," said the Mouse Queen.
"Oh yeah," Joey said. "What's my name again?"
---ooo---
Not my best chapter now that I admit it, but it got the job done.
I don't own Super Soakers, Megatokyo by Fred Gallager, Easy Pros, 'The Nanny', and the Tellitubies.
Now for a Short-Day SPECIAL! However, this has nothing to do with Yu-Gi-Oh…or does it? This is part amusement, part public awareness of how horrible the future will be if we don't smarten up. And this terrible threat is…THE NERD!
NERD: A TWO PART SHORT
Part One: The Treat
It all seems very vague at first. To the untrained eyes, the horrible banter in Chess Club is merely mindless conversation of the academic sort.
Bob the Nerd: So, I was thinking that I'd camp outside and wait for the Star Wars to open-
Brian the Nerd-and so I used my Harpies Feather Duster to wipe out your-
Bob: Hey, have you seen the trailer for Serenity?
Poor innocent Chess Captain: What are they talking about?
Shri: FEAR NOT! I speak Nerd!
But what society doesn't realize is that more and more, the global scale of nerds slowly grows more and more, cloning and feeding on fantasy novels and science fiction movies.
Secretary: Sir, there's a raving mob outside all doing Star War's Cosplay. They're all holding up signs that say 'bring us Star Wars Now' and burning a life sized Darth Vader Doll. Should we be worried?
Producer: Nah, their orange soda will wear out soon, and they'll need to go home and watch a ton of Star Trek Enterprise reruns.
Secretary: You have to check this out sir. It's a site that tells on what level of heck you're going to go to.
Producer: Really? Can I try when you're done?
Secretary: Well, I already typed in that you were the produce of Star Wars, a little picture of Beelzebub appeared on the screen and started laughing…
I mean come on. Who was the idiot who didn't think that 'Lord of the Rings' was going to be a big hit in the box office? I mean really. Almost three generations of nerds surfaced from the gloomy depths of the swamps to see it.
Some Nerd: So when's this stupid 'Harry Potter' garbage going to get over with so we can see the real stuff?
Some Other Nerd: Yeah. I sew a Legolas costume using home spun wool and grass and sew it together using bird bones, and it's just sitting in the closet. I WANT TO WEAR IT #$ IT!
Some Nerd: I wonder when they're coming out with commemorative mugs at Burger King for them.
Some Other Nerd: Better be freaking soon. Ma's gonna kick me out of the house any day, so that means no more free lunches and laundry done.
Uh…anyway, just as Great Brittan is doing nothing to stop the ever growing population of nerds around the globe, even our Japanese brethren have done nothing to try to intervene. Instead, they create even more Manga novels and release them to the youth of America.
Online RED preview: A small town not far from Sendai in the late forties houses a young girl who is given a magical wand/sword by her cuddly plush teddy, Azusa. Using her magical powers, she goes to fight evil in all it's forms, as well as make a few romantical advancements on Hirotu, her girlhood crush who is now in her high school…RED ONLY PREVIEW!
Shri: Wicked! Time to kill the bandwidth again!
More bad news overseas. Even in North America, nerds are cloning and feeding off of…dare I say it…CANADA! As BioWare continues to make a colossal amount of cool games, even the psychotic authoress of this story can't resist the allure.
Mom: Shri, what are you doing?
Shri: PlayingNeverwinterNights.
Mom: Shouldn't you be writing that story you post every week?
Shri: Can'tIneedtodefeatCalik.
Mom: Haven't you been playing that game every free second of your day and night? Even time you usually reserve for showers?
Shri: Ma, I'm a half elf fighter! Hygiene's for sissies!
Ma:...okay hon, it's time for bed.
Shri: Sleep's for sissies too.
And still, people deny the fact that nerds are slowly growing stronger and stronger across the planet, and deny still that they will rise up and conquer the world.
Producer: Okay, so movies like 'Finding Nemo', 'The Incredibles', and 'Madagascar' are grossing millions of dollars when hitting the box office, but we still produce movies like 'White Chicks'. What do you think we should do next?
Writer: OH! I got it! Why don't we make a movie staring Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton and call it 'White Chicks II, Blonde Bimbo's'?
Producer: I LOVE IT! Start the script!
So imagine how shocked and horrified the world will be when the nerds of today rise up and conquer the world! How? What will happen? Stay tuned for part two!
---ooo---
Okay, sorry to scare you. A PREMERE OF THE NEXT CHAPTER!
---ooo---
"Maybe if we split up, we could cover more mall!" Joey said, having his bi-decade intelligent thought.
"NO!" Ryo screamed. "When people split up, bad stuff happens! WE COULD ALL GET KILLED!"
"TOYS!" Joey screamed, running head long into Toys R' Us, officially splitting up from the group, not caring that now he has a very high chance of getting killed.
"Pft, how pathetic," Seto said, watching as Joey began running through the toy store and knocking down every piece of merchandise on sale one by one to the dirty tile floor. "The second he sees anything that appeals to his sick little whims, he'll run off without a concern for anyone else's health and safety. It's so juvenile I just want t- OH MY GOD! IS THAT BEST BUY?
And that's how Seto split up from the group, not caring that now he has a very high chance of getting killed.
---ooo---
I know what you're thinking. WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE DOING IN A MALL! Well, you'll soon find out!
Well, that's all for now. GO HOME YOU MOOCHERS! Chee, I kid!
