Author's Note: Okay. So...I'm trying not to be a quitter here, so...it's the second chapter. To be completely honest, I have no idea where I'm going with this—I only have some vague idea for how it's going to end, but...I'm kind of bluffing my way through the middle! . Oh well. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.


My Secret Insanity
Chapter 2

The Kyoto Police Station

"So you're saying this girl has been missing for a week now?"

Using her shoulder and chin to pinch her cell phone in place, a middle-aged woman hurried down the stairs, balancing a fairly large stack of manila folders.

"Yes, yes, I know you've been on it. And I know how long she has been missing. It just sounds longer when you say it that way.What case do you think it is? A runaway? Or a kidnapping?"

The woman nearly dropped the files. Luckily, someone else was also in the stairwell and was able to push the files back into her arms in time before they toppled down the stairs.

"Thanks—WHAT? You have NO IDEA? Did you search her room? Look through her things? You did? Then what did you find?"

Finding herself with barely any limbs to spare, the woman opted to kick the door open. The door flung open, leaving a permanent imprint in the wall. The woman examined it carelessly for a few moments before continuing on.

"Really? No signs of a struggle at all? And her grandfather says that nothing's missing in her room? Take a background check on her grandfather, by the way. You've been reading her journal—WHAT? What kind of nosy guy are you?"

She rushed through the office, heaving the files onto a random desk.

"File these please," she told the unfortunate worker who was peeking at her from behind the tower of folders. The worker gave her look of resentment before turning to stare hopelessly at the large pile of work.

"Yes, yes, I know it's useful to know what was going on around her disappearance. It just sounds worse when you say it that way. Anyways, what did it say?"

The woman settled herself down at an empty desk, pulled out a blank sheet of paper, and began jotting down notes.

"Likes to paint, thinks paintings are alive, Picasso...blah, blah, blah...fell in love with a painting guy named Aoshi...got it. WHAT? This girl sounds like a nut, if you ask me. Is that all she wrote? Oh, you haven't finished reading it yet. You really are nosy—and you're a bit of slow reader as well."

She took off her heels and examined her swollen toes.

"What was this girl's name again? Oh, right. Makimachi Misao. Did you find anything else? No? Well, I suggest you continue reading the journal then. You might find some important things in it. Don't forget to tell me what happens, okay? Okay. Take care. Yes. Yes. You too. Bye."


Aoshi spoke to me for the first time about two nights ago. I know what you're thinking. You think I'm crazy, right? But he really did. I was telling him about my life, my hopes, and my dreams. This is the only way I can vent my anger now. Painting is no longer enough anymore.

His reply did startle me, though I wasn't completely surprised. I have always known that my paintings were alive. The way he answered me was so simple, so charming. All he said was "Yes," but...this simple word seemed like a revelation to me. He was able to sympathize with my feelings and thoughts—and he did this all without wasting any words at all. I don't know. Maybe I am hopeless. But I guess I did set him up for success. Why? Well, when I talk, I tend to end my sentences with, "Do you know how it feels?" or "You know what I mean?"

And he told me he did—that he knew exactly how I felt and exactly what I meant.

I wanted to return this favor that he did for me. I wanted so much to sympathize with his feelings and to learn his story. I wanted to tell him, "Yes."

So I waited for him to speak to me again. He remained silent. I figured that the only way to find out about him was to ask him.

"So what's your story, Aoshi-sama?"

I waited. Finally, when I was just beginning to think that I had just imagined his "yes", he answered me. He told me about his life, his regrets, and his atonement for his regrets—without wasting a single word. This impresses me, as I do not have this skill.

Anyways, I learned that he knows nothing about his parents as well. Instead, he was raised by strangers who found him—like me, except I never thought of my mother as a stranger until her death. That was when I realized that I didn't really know her at all.

Aoshi had four great friends—I think their names were Beshimi, Hyottoko, Shikijo, and Hannya. Aoshi says that they followed him because no one else was willing to see them as human beings. What does he mean by this? I do not know, and I did not ask. Perhaps some day I shall.

Aoshi claims that they died only because of his foolishness—they died for his own worthless life.

I found that I was not able to tell him, "Yes, I understand," or "Yes, I know how you feel." Instead, I told him that I didn't understand. I told him that it seemed to me that his friends chose to die for him—they chose to, which means that it has nothing to do with his foolishness—nothing to do with him, other than the fact that they're his friends. I told him that they only died for him because they thought that he was someone worth dying for. They didn't seem to think that his life was worthless, and neither did I.

Aoshi said nothing for a few moments, before telling me, "I don't expect you to understand."

Somehow, that broke my heart. I wanted so much to understand his feelings, but I couldn't understand why he blamed himself for so many things. If I told him that I understood, I would be confirming his belief that his life is worthless. And I didn't want to do that either.

That was the end of that conversation with Aoshi. I didn't know what else to tell him, and he didn't seem to feel like talking to me anymore.

Yet...I sometimes wish that I can touch him and feel the warmth emanating from his skin. I wonder if he feels the same way. I have never gotten the nerve to ask him (somehow, it feels as if he's angry at me for not understanding). Touching him is impossible, though.

We are in different dimensions, after all.


Author's Note: So...I hope this chapter wasn't confusing. I wasn't sure how to make Misao's thoughts different from everything else that's taking place in Kyoto. Is there some special way that you would prefer me to arrange it? Please, if there is, do tell me! Thanks to everyone who reviewed—and please come back and review again! I know this chapter wasn't the best, so...tell me how to improve!