I solemnly swear I'm up to no good.

HOORAY! THREE CHEERS FOR THE NICE REVIEWERS!

Mokuba's Official Glomper

Hey, I just realized something. If you're Mokuba's official glomper, how come he's never in your reviews?

Sorry. ANYWAY! You're the first reviewer! YAY! (Gives a pony). Dartz is so mean! That's why he has to wait 'til my NEXT story to even have one line written by me!

HOORAY! A FELLOW NERD! Would you like to help me conquer the world? I think you would be a valuable edition! Sorry to scare you.

I've ran out of good things to say…already…that's what a boring freak I am.

Oh yeah, I do have one more thing to say. ALISTER IS A CUTIE! (Bonks Alister plushie). HWAY! I guess if you like Seto, you have to like Alister. Don't know why…ENJOY THIS CHAPPIE!

Funky Egyptian

I have no clue who invented budget cuts. I shall find them…one day…

Yay! Thank you for the nice reviewsy! Why are they in a mall? The answer will SHOCK you, CONFUSE you, and overall, MAKE YOU LAUGH! I hope! ENJOY!

Dark Princess Saz

The Mice People were in 'A Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy'? Am I going insane again?

Yami and you both continue to amuse me…MER HER! I thought weasels were the most intelligent thing on earth, then cats, then mice, then dolophins, then us. Oh well.

I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER!

Gothangelmyu

I really enjoyed chapter 21! Joey and Ryo are the oddest crime fighting duo I ever met. And Seto scares me. Like he always does. CONGRAT'S FOR FIGURING OUT THE KAMI/LADY LIGHT CONNECTION!

I'm glad you forgot about Joey's scissors. IT ADDS TO THE IRONIC HUMOR! And also, thanks for pointing out about the faint thing. I am not a good speller. (Bonks herself) And I never will be (bonks herself again).

Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, you rock. I Wuv mah wittle plushums (cuddles). ENOUGH! Thank you tonzies for the two reviews!

Mizz-Serenity-Wheeler

HI-EYE! (Waves violently)

Your game kind of makes sense…it reminds me of capture the flag, where I was very prone to getting caught no matter what. If you haven't guess, I am not good at tag-like games.

Lady Light was such a vague character, I thought no one would suspect she'd show up another chapter. My mom would probably figure it out …

As for the shoping mall…READ AND FIND OUT! Thank you for the nice review again!

Magnum Chaos

I didn't think you bashed me! Heck no!

I luuuv cartoons. Cosmo's quote, while funny, wouldn't work for Joey, because, being a true idiot, Joey doesn't think…he's an idiot. Wait, what? I'm confusing myself.

I'm glad you liked the car scene. When Mom was talking to me on her cell phone on the way to a business trip, she said "I'm currently careening down the road at one hundred thirty miles per hour" and I loved that thought so much, I needed to fit it into the story!

HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER! It's insane…THANK YOU FOR THE FOUR REVIEWS!

LoneFlyinTigers

Seto and Ms. Fuzzy-Kins. A jerk and a cat plushie. They belong together.

Anyway, Seto's costume…I left out. I can't imagine it, and when I try to, I have massive blackouts.

That seems to be a big FAQ. Yes, Pegasus will appear. HOW THE HECK WILL WE HAVE A FINAL BATTLE IF HE DOESN'T? Oh yes, and his confrontation with the gang will lead to-

No, that would be a spoiler.

Thanks for the good luck! I'll need it…some of my teachers are evil…

Hypolitian Warrior

WHO CARES IF YOU'RE LATE? A reviews a review! I like the late one's anyway.

NOT THE RED CHIBI COW!

Good question. I don't think any more Yu-Gi-Oh characters will show up. I'll tell you why in the end of the book, because there's a special reason, and I hope someone will figure it out. OH! Wait, there is one more. I think Mokuba's showing up.

Though, Tea and Yugi are doomed to return, as well as some of the other characters.

AWESOME! Being obsessed over granola bars is COOL! Enjoy this chapter!

Cute lil Yami

HOORAY FOR SHORT ATTENTION SPANS!

Gotta luv Joey. I wonder if I did a poll, who would the favorite characters of this story be?

Seto's ongoing battle with his fear of mice continues, even today. I don't think it will ever truly disappear.

Ah yes, the obscure magical girl characters, and the censored fight scenes! Oh the horror! Oh the randomness! Oh the sheer chaos!

MORE COOKIES! Thank yooooooooooooooooooou!

Bibo-Sama

I'm glad you are amused…again…

Huraw! I loved your description of Tea's magical girl uniform in your story! I found it rather amusing myself.

BEHOLD, I HAVE CONTINUED! I hope you enjoy it. And noooooow…

Onto the craziness!

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

If I Only Had That Sweater in Navy

Many great Shakespearian Verse has been recorded and passed down through the ages from generation to generation as timeless bites of vocabulary base wisdom, and refinement of tongue. Verses such as 'Parting is such sweet sorrow', 'To be, or not to be, that is the question', and perhaps the most famous of all, 'You're my alternative girlfriend'…or something like that.

This, however, isn't one of them.

"So we have no clue which way to go?" Serenity asked, as she and the three others stood in front of a huge fork in the yellow brick road, which had a huge picket sign in the middle. One arrow that pointed to the left said 'mortal peril', while the one to the right said 'trials and suffering'.

"Hm…possible death or torture?" Ryo said. "Wow, this is quite a philosophic debate! Should we go down that path and risk dying, or face a fat load of extreme torture? My gosh, this is like the great Shakespearian quote, 'You're my al'-, wait no, 'to be, or not to be, that is the question'."

"But which way leads to Rhinestone City?" Seto asked.

"Well, we've been in a ton of life-or-death situations, so it must be down mortal peril!" Serenity said.

"Yeah, but we've also had a ton of traumatic experiences, so it could be down 'trials and suffering'," Seto said.

"Very good point!" Serenity said. "So either side is fair game."

"WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS SEE THE GLASS AS HALF EMPTY?" Ryo screamed.

"Where?" Joey said, looking all around. "I don't see no glass! All I see is a huge rectangular glassy thing!'

Joey pointed to the side of the road, to a small purple brick path that lead away from it, leading toward a huge…mall center.

"What the heck's a mall doing here?" Serenity asked. "This is way too convenient…waaaaay too convenient…"

"But maybe we can find someone there we can ask for directions!" Ryo said, in a usual cheerful and optimistic state of mind.

"I suppose we really have no choice," Serenity said. "But this is just like my mom told me when I was seven…"

---ooo---

"Alright Serenity," said Serenity's Mom, who had an adorable seven-year-old Serenity on her lap with huge, chibi eyes, "since Mommy's soap operas are canceled due to crazed middle aged women upset over Robert dying in a freak elevator accident swarming the studio, today I'm going to tell you the three most important things I've learned about life!"

"'Kay Mommy," Serenity said.

"First, never bite into a whole tomato unless you want tomato guts on your shirt or best friend in front of you!" Mom said.

"'Kay," said Serenity.

"The second, when a Tunisian Sock merchant threatens you with a dead cat, just tell him that he looks lovely, and he'll go away," said Mom.

"'Kay," said Serenity.

"And last, and most important of all, when a mall appears in the middle of nowhere, don't go in it, because it's going to be either a mirage or a place holding extreme weirdness and randomness," said Mom.

"'Kay," said Serenity.

"Now, how about we play 'help Mommy find her car keys that she lost again'?" Serenity's Mom said in an encouraging voice Moms and Dads always use to get kids to do stuff.

"YAY!" Serenity cried.

---ooo---

"I MISS MOM SO MUCH!" Serenity sobbed. "She…SHE WAS LIKE A MOTHER TO ME!"

"Yeah…" Seto said. "Let's just go, okay?"

"Alright!" Serenity said, suddenly becoming cheerful again.

---ooo---

"Wow, this is a huge mall!" Ryo said, transfixed by all the many stores selling everything known to man, from shirts to saxophones, from monkeys to mausoleum accessories, from balaclava to Bratislavian Chimp Hounds.

"Okay, so I suppose we're going to need to look at the map," said Seto, looking at the huge map in the middle of the hall that showed where all the store were. "Okay…golf product stores, no…hedge and shrubbery providers, no…a here we go information! Located…'Right next to you, you simpering twit'."

"Hello old boy," said the most horrifically frightening our heroes have seen yet. There was standing a person who looked exactly like Joey, except he had a monocle, white gloves, a white shirt and overcoat, and a very nice looking top hat and cane, sipping a small cup of tea. Ryo was absolutely confused, looking at both this mysterious person and Joey over and over again, having not a heck of a clue what was going on.

"It's quite a pleasure to meet you all," said the weird person. "My name is Wheeler Joseph, and I am the soul provider of information in this facility!"

"My goodness!" Ryo cried in distress. "You look just like and have the exact same name as Joey! THIS IS SO CREEPY!"

Joey just drooled.

"As much as I'd agree, there are two large differences," said Wheeler. "Joey's first name is…Joey, while mine is Wheeler. Second, I have absolutely no flaw in my intelligence whatsoever, and I'm afraid…it may be presumptuous to say the same for Joey…"

"How do you know so much about Joey?" Seto asked dangerously.

"Well, put it simply, Joey and myself were in the same kindergarten class," said Wheeler.

"YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ME!" Joey suddenly realized.

"Yes Joey, were past advanced placement of names to faces," Seto said sarcastically.

"Ee-yah," Serenity said. "So, were you two good friends? In kindergarten I mean."

"Well…no," Wheeler said.

"So you didn't play together a lot?" Ryo asked.

"Not really," Wheeler said, almost disdainfully.

"So, what…I mean…how…" Ryo stumbled, trying to find the most polite way to ask how well they knew each other, trying his best not to look like an idiot, but failing that battle.

"OH! I REMEMBER YOU!" Joey screamed. "I used to kick you around, beat you up and steal your lunch money!"

"JOEY!" Serenity cried.

"Oh, you should have seen it Serenity!" Joey said. "It was SO funny! He'd always scream like a girl, and then you shoved pencils up his-"

"This is both amusing and horrifying," Seto said blankly.

"Uh, Joey?" Ryo said to try to stop the conversation, because Wheeler was looking more and more bugged by the second.

"-and back then, he always wore these stupid sweaters with little unicorns on them, and he always wore these stupid shorts and knee socks, so we called him Shorty, Girly, McStupidy Fatikin-" Joey continued to rant.

"That's enough trips down memory lane, don't you thing?" said Wheeler in a dead tone, sounding and looking truly livid.

"Sorry…" Serenity tried weakly, not sure what else to say.

"Yes…how may I help you?" asked Wheeler, still sounding entirely flipped off.

"We need directions to Rhinestone City," Seto said, the only of the pack who didn't care about anyone's physical and/or emotional wounds. "There's a stupid fork in the road, and I'm not sure which way to go."

"Or the rest of us," Ryo added.

"Whatever," Seto said.

"Well, when you hit that road, you go right," said Wheeler calmly. "However…if you aren't in any hurry…I'm in need of a bit of a favor."

"Who cares?" Seto asked.

"We'd love to help!" Ryo chirped.

"Absolutely!" Serenity said.

"STAY AWAY FROM THE MOOR!" Joey cried.

"Well, here is my dilemma, should none of you wish to protect your lives or sanity," said Wheeler. "Lately, in my mall, many strange occurrences have been taking place. It started small at first…gas leaks…thefts with no sign of break in…close harmony tenor singers, but it slowly got worse. Soon, all out vandalism started to take place. People started mysteriously vanishing. However, most strange of all is the horrible beast that trails across the land, but no man has come back and lived to tell the tale."

"That sounds dangerous…" Ryo said with a quiver in his voice. "Wh-who died?"

"No one actually," said Wheeler. "We just can't find the stupid little pain."

"Uh…" Ryo said.

"Yes," said Wheeler. "However, odder still, lately, there have been signs that borderline spectral, almost witchcraft like origins."

"Really?" Serenity asked.

"Yes," said Wheeler. "Why, just last week, a man with nine heads and a woman with ten arms were seen dating in a local café. Odder still, it is said that about a mile from hear, the graves did open, and ghosts off wrenched lives began competing in games of PC Yahtzee."

"That is strange…" Serenity said.

"Yes, but by far the most frightening is…a red dog was spotted roaming the streets, and anyone unlucky enough to be in it's path would be instantly squished by a symphonic orchestra!"

Seto's eyes twitched a little.

"Well, we'll find out what's doing this quick, and then we'll be on our way!" Serenity said.

"Why?" Seto said. "I'm certainly not sticking around!"

"But Joey owes it to Wheeler to help him, and we want to set a good example," Serenity said.

"I don't," Seto snapped back.

"Of course, I can always set a bad example, and tie you up to a swivel chair, and force you watch the Titanic un-cut Four Hour long feature with all the DVD extras, including a bunch of trailers, and several bad commercials ripping off scenes from the movie," Serenity said.

Psycho Authoress note: Remember when Titanic came out :-)?

"You…are…sick…" he managed to spit out.

---ooo---

TWO HOURS LATER! WoOoOoOoO!

"This is so boring!" Joey said. "Why are we doing this anyway? We searched everywhere, and we had to look through Target twice!"

"Well I knew they'd have 'Hoyle Board Games' in their storeroom!" Serenity said, showing off her bag.

"And I knew they'd have this sweater in Navy!" Ryo said, hugging his new sweater.

"Besides Joey, you need to learn a lesson from this!" Serenity said. "You need to realize that physically and verbally abusing innocent and disadvantaged people is wrong!"

"Yeah stupid," said Seto, slapping Joey at the back of the head.

"Seto…" Serenity said.

"Maybe if we split up, we could cover more mall!" Joey said, having his bi-decade intelligent thought.

"NO!" Ryo screamed. "When people split up, bad stuff happens! WE COULD ALL GET KILLED!"

"TOYS!" Joey screamed, running head long into Toys R' Us, officially splitting up from the group, not caring that now he has a very high chance of getting killed.

"Pft, how pathetic," Seto said, watching as Joey began running through the toy store and knocking down every piece of merchandise on sale one by one to the dirty tile floor. "The second he sees anything that appeals to his sick little whims, he'll run off without a concern for anyone else's health and safety. It's so juvenile I just want t- OH MY GOD! IS THAT BEST BUY?

And that's how Seto split up from the group, not caring that now he has a very high chance of getting killed.

"Well, Seto's manning Best Buy, and Joey's manning Toys R' Us," Serenity said, "so what should we man?"

Two seconds of silence.

"I'm thinkin' Borders?" Ryo said.

"Sounds good to me!" said Serenity, as the two walked of to a myriad of shiny new books, pens, and amusing greeting cards and novelties.

---ooo---

"Oooh, these are some nice looking memory cards," Seto said, tearing one right out of a PC on display in Best Buy, causing the original bearer of such to explode. "Ah, I love the smell of burning plastic. It gives me…a happy feeling…"

"Hurr…" said a mysterious old crone wearing a very long, tattered, black cape, carrying a small chain of the most sacred, and ancient data cables, soul testament that she was truly of the turbo-nerd elite. "Who be you, who can destroy vast computer systems with a flick of his wrist?"

"Do the words 'none of your business' mean anything to you?" Seto asked.

"Hmm…" the old woman wondered, leaning closer and closer to Seto, until they were practically eye to eye. "I wonder…if you can serve my needs."

"Three feet personal," Seto said, shoving her away.

"Wait…" she said, suddenly tugging him by the collar and pulling him right to eye level. "I KNEW IT! THE GREAT IKI IKI IKI KA-PONG-ZUR-TAM-BO!"

"What the-" Seto half snapped, half snarled, and suddenly, from all corners of the store, a great gathering of nerds surfaced. From behind the displays of Yamaha Home theater systems, to the massive displays of PC games, even from behind the many displays of widescreen television sets. They came in drones, from all around, to gather around the mysterious woman…and Seto.

"Okay…I'm leaving now," Seto said, turning tail and running. However, a sudden wall of nerds blocked his way out, trapping him inside the store.

"Oh shoot," he said, as the great blanket of nerds gathered together, swallowing him inside their terrifying grip.

---ooo---

Narration: For years, she has been abused, neglected even though she was supposed to be the heroine of her own story. However, now, she has come back to take revenge of the world. Tokyopop proudly presents…TOHRU HONDA THE HOMICIDAL MANIAC!

Tohru: Okay Kisa, so far we've ousted Kyo, Haru, Yuki, and Momiji. Who's next on the list?

Kisa: (Looking at list written in blood) Um…Shigure.

Tohru: Can't, he's gone out to stop his publisher from killing herself again. Okay, who's after that?

Kisa: Hiro.

Tohru: Well, actually, I got a little crazy this morning, and I knocked his block off before breakfast. Sorry…spur of the moment…

Kisa: That just leaves Ritsu and Hatori.

Tohru: Let's take Hatori. I promised Ritsu's mom I would take him to the Gap this Saturday before I… you know.

Kisa: Okay. It's four o' clock, so that means it about time for him to try to get his laptop to start.

Tohru: TO THE SOHMA ESTATE!

AT THE SOHMA ESTATE

Hatori: Perfect. My laptop's grumpy this morning.

Computer: I don't like you any more. Shutting down.

Hatori: OH DARN IT!

Tohru: (Slaming open door) OKAY HATORI! IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO BYE-BYE!

Hatori: (Looks at watch) Four o' clock. I forgot that was shootout hour.

Kisa: (Whiping out a chainsaw) Enough chit-chat pretty boy! It's time to meet you're maker!

Tohru: (Whiping out rapier) Hope you like it bloody pall!

Hatori: Oh, you girls and your phases.

Tohru and Kisa: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hatori: Because obviously, you've forgoten (whips out sholder canon) HOW BIG MY WEAPONS ARE!

(Awesomely cool shoot out kind of scene)

Tohru: HA! YOU'RE WEAPON SKILLS ARE WEAK! YOU SHALL-

(Beeping noise)

Tohru: (Pulls out watch) Oh, I'm sorry, I got to go to work. Same time tomorrow then?

Hatori: Alright.

Kisa: Sure!

(Tohru skips off)

Hatori: (Looking at Kisa) That's a pretty nasty cut you have. Do you want me to have a look at it?

Kisa: That's okay. It'll stop bleeding eventually.

---ooo---

"This Manga's AWESOME!" Serenity said as she and Ryo looked at the latest volume of 'Tohru Honda the Homicidal Maniac'.

"I love it!" Ryo said. "I just wish that there wasn't so much blood and violence."

"This is Manga Ryo," Serenity said.

"Oh, right, I forgo-OH WOW! Look at that awesome book!"

Ryo pointed to a large, dusty, old-appearing book, which had bizarre symbols along the spine, as well as a picture of a black serpent with crimson blood dripping down its jaws.

"It's either something written in the seventies…or a chronicle of absolute evil which has the potential of releasing all the minions of the apocalypse, with all their annihilating iniquity ," said Ryo. "And it's also on the three for two rack."

"Awesome!" said Serenity, taking it down. "This will be an awesome edition to my collection of all things that have the potential to destroy the world!"

"You collect things that have the potential to destroy the world?" Ryo asked.

"Ah, it's a hobby," Serenity said, pulling open the book, past the cover, past the page with the publishing date, past the dedication page to some guy to his mother, to the first page, which had no chapter mark, but cryptic Gothic scrawl written in dark and crimson red.

Fools! said the book. All who even DARES to LOOK at this book, is forever doomed, DOOMED with the horror of the mistress of malignance, the empress of evil, the lady of languish, the Queen of the Occult!

"'Queen of the Occult'?" Serenity said. "Oh, yeah right. In the risk of sounding like Seto, I'm saying 'like book on the three for two rack can possibly surface just because we read a page of it'."

"Then in the risk of sounding like Joey, I'm going to say 'BUT IT COULD DESTROY US TOOTH FAIRY! PENGUIN!'" Ryo replied.

"Okay…" Serenity said.

"May I help you?" whispered a dark voice behind them, and both Serenity and Ryo's hair stood up on end. Very slowly, they turned around to face the person who said it.

There stood a woman, who was a solid six feet tall, and was as skinny as a twig. Her eyes were completely black, like they were composed entirely of pupils, and she wore completely black lipstick, a black mini-dress, scratchy leggings, a pair of black combat boots, black spiked bracelets, a long black belt, and a dark grey coat. Her skin was as pale as a ghosts, her black eyeliner made her eyes look even bigger, and her hair was as white as a ghosts with a black headband and black ribbons strewn through her braid, which touched the floor, with a black cross tattoo on her forehead, another weird symbol tattoo on her right cheek, and necklace that had a silver cross on the end.

"Yes…" she said, again in a frightening whisper. "Someone has found the book. At last. It's been so long…so very, very long…"

Serenity and Ryo's eyes were bugged out to the size of picture windows.

"You seemed troubled, my young friends…" said the girl.

"Uh…" Ryo and Serenity said.

"You seem worthy…" she said.

"Nowearen't," said Ryo and Serenity.

"…worthy of the truth…" she continued.

"NOWEAREN'T!" screamed Serenity and Ryo.

"…I will show you…my true form…" said the girl, sliding one finger under the ribbon that held her braid together, gently tugging it out with deliberate listlessness, while unbuttoning her coat with the other one.

"NO! N-N-NO!" Ryo said. "I DON'T THINK IT'S APROPRIATE FOR ME TO BE LOOKING AT TRUE FORMS!"

"Me neither!" Serenity said.

But it was too late. The long, black ribbon flew out, and the coat was thrown off, revealing that the black mini-dress was strapless, and that the girls arms from her wrists to her collar bone was covered in a myriad of black tattoos, all in mysterious shapes and wavy lines that's pattern was the same on both arms.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Serenity and Ryo, as they both turned tails and ran out of the Borders as fast as their legs could carry them, and maybe just a little faster than that.

There was silence as the girl watched them tumble and scamper as far away as possible.

"They shall pay…oh how they shall pay…" she whispered softly.

---ooo---

"La la la la la," Joey sung happily to himself, as he skipped around and shoved cartloads of junky toys into his pockets, because he was too stupid to get a cart. His pockets were now swollen to ten times there size, and the seams were slowly beginning to split apart little by little.

"This is so much fun!" Joey said. "Let's see. I gots a bat for Serenity, an Easy-Bake oven for the nice kid who makes awesome pasta dishes, and a Magical Girl Wand for the Tooth Fairy!"

However, Joey's sub-human instincts suddenly got kicked into full force. For he, Joey wheeler, half man, a smidge girl, and half monkey, was in striking range of the most vicious, bloodthirsty beat that has ever lived on Earth! With scales as sharp as iron, with fangs that can puncture steel, with a tail so long and sinuous that it can knock down a full grown man in one blow, the great beast slunk, silently, and undetected by the human eye, only to be seen in the last moment OF THEIR DEATH!

"Pencils?" Joey said, looking around and trying in vain to detect the creature before it was too late, but Joey was a mere mortal, and this creature, THIS CREATURE, IS BARELY OF THIS EARTH!

And it attacked! Joey flailed around, hot blood coursing through his veins, sweat pouring down his neck, and his pupils dialated in fear, as the GRUESOME, HORRIFYING, BEAST CAME INTO VIEW AND-

---ooo---

My infamous cliffhangers! MUA HA!

Oh, and don't worry about the Tohru Honda the Homicidal Maniac little skit. I just once drew a comic of Tohru packing a gun and guarding a bridge, while cleverly ripping off Monty Python, and trying to kill of Serenity and her Shakespearian speaking companion. If you think the following makes no sense…well, YOU'RE RIGHT!

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, the authoress of this story does NOT own Fruits Basket by Natsuki Takaya, Tohru, Kisa, and Hatori, Easy Bake Ovens, um…is that it? Oh yeah, and Bratislava. That's owned by…the Bratislavians.

Now, part two of the PABC's (Psycho Authoress Broadcasting Company) two-part series, Nerd: A Two Part Short.

NERD: A TWO PART SHORT

Part Two: Our Terrible Future

The Nerds have planed their invasion. Using their advanced knowledge of cyber robotics, they have successfully created both a horde of robot suits that can withstand most nuclear blasts, as well as create a computer virus that completely destroyed the mainframe to every computer base in both the Americas, most of Europe, and throughout several parts of Asia.

Cathleen, a nerd: So how did the robotic hoard go Bob?

Bob, also a nerd: Pretty good. We made it able to withstand nuclear bomb, inferno temperatures up to eighteen hundred degrees, deflect any and all bullets and missiles, and also added in an AM/FM radio/disc drive/Mp3 file combo in each one. We're even working on ones that come in different colors to give people a variety of different colors by invasion time.

Cathleen: Awesome.

Bob: How's the computer virus going?

Cathleen: Pretty good. So far, we've got it to lock all files and completely disconnect any outside input, including mouse and keyboard, and causing it to pretty much paralyze it's mainframe until initial command from our end users. I just need to translate the message that's supposed to black out the screen except for the words 'You're a bunch of weenies, your mother was a rainbow boa constrictor, and your watches the Russian Ballet' into Sanskrit, Kanji, and Chinese characters.

Bob: Ouch. Tricky.

And so, the world has officially bended to the will of the overworked, underappreciated nerds, who slowly circle the globe and dismember any forms of resistance in a peaceful like manor. Manga and RPG industries, as well as the nerds, cry victory. However, in other aspects of the world, all is not well in the light of the takeover.

French Designer: (add ridiculous accent) ACH! Ma cherie, zere is nothing we can do. Zese filthy Nierds, with there poo-poo electronical devices, and zer oh-so-special picture books ave completely ruined our salez in zese furs! Zey claim zat it is inhuman to trap animals and tear off their skins and dispose of ze carcasses!

French Lady: (Also with ridiculous accent) Pfut. I hope zey choke on zere own data cables, filthy leettle computer headz.

And to an extent, the bands of perfume heads have a right to be angry. For the world of the nerds is completely different from the world we live in. First, school is completely different from the norm.

Anouncer: Attention students. In the recent world domination of the nerds around the world, school schedules have now been changed. Art classes are now required-

(Nerds cheer, cheerleaders and jocks think 'whatever')

Anouncer:- and Gym can now only be taken by giving up a study hall.

(Nerds scream with joy, jocks and cheerleaders feint)

Anouncer: Also, chess club, computer club, and Manga/Anime club is now duel college credit, while high school sports have been halved.

(Nerds dance with joy, jocks and cheerleaders slip into a state of respiratory arrest)

And that's not all. Even the Television industry is having drastic changes in television lineup.

Shri: (Reading newspaper) According to this, Cartoon Network and Tech TV are now the top rated stations in the country, and Reality Shows are now shot down to miniscule ratings. On the other hand, The season finale of 'Zatch Bell' is the highest rated show this week…cool.

Terribly frightening, no? So, the glorious reign of the nerds shall continue for many centuries, old order of the vicious popularity system dying with the passing of time…

Nerd Girl: Mommy, what's 'Victoria's Secret'?

Mother: Nothing dear. Go play with your new chess set.

In conclusion, the future of our lives being ruled by the studious both horrifies me and…oddly excites me. In other words, time is running out. We may still be able to curve the impending demise of the world as we know it, but this can only be done by being kind to those who hold the keys to the future in their hands (like actually voting them into Student Council).

Mean Gym Girl: Oh look, Nerdy's reading in the changing room again. Gawd, does she just go home and study while listening to Christian Music?

Other Girl: She's so weird. Bet she doesn't even have a TV.

Shri: (Thinking) I'm thinking handmaid…wait no, scullery maid for her, and…you know, maybe scullery maid would work on both of them. I'll think about it.

---ooo---

Sorry to scare you with ANOTHER round of that, but it was so much fun!

Oh, sorry, you people probably want your sneak peak now, don't you?

---ooo---

HEY-OW! LET GO OF ME! LET GO OF ME YOU NERDS!" screamed Seto angrily as he was dragged away to the deepest, darkest corner of Best Buy by the rouge nerds.

"But aren't you a nerd?" a nerd asked.

"NO!" Seto screamed.

"You look like a nerd," said another.

"Yeah, and your ripping out memory cards," said another nerd.

"And you're hanging out at Best Buy," another replied.

"I AM NOT A NERD!" Seto screamed.

"Silence nerd!" said the old crone. "You have been divinely chosen to defeat the horror that has been plaguing our fine store for weeks!"

"Huh?" Seto asked.

---ooo---

Mischief managed.