And now for something completely different…

Hi again! Boy…we're made it all the way to the twenty-fourth chapter. What started out as a completely stupid and random idea made it all the way to here.

Reflective pause.

Oh yes, as to you all who are wondering why I'm so darn late, it's because FF dot net is a meanie wienie with a stupid document loading problem! THEY ARE 3VIL! I couldn't load any story chapters at all!Even with my tech support staff!

---ooo---

Shri: Okay, so how are we going to fix this?

Joey: Oh! I gots an idea! (pulls out paper and starts scribbling on it) Dear Santa, I know you are busy because it's gonna be Christmas in six months, but Shri-chan's computer's acting all wonky-

Shri: Not helping.

Serenity: We could write a letter to the system admins.

Shri: Good idea, but let's save that for last. They don't have much staff at FF dot net. Let's ask the tec experts.

Ryo: Well (picks up keyboard) at times like this, I settle for beating it with a keyboard.

Shri: No, I already accidentally destroyed the microphone. Mom's gonna kill me if I ruin anything else.

Seto: (Holding sledgehammer) I was going on different lines myself…

---ooo---

Guess who's suggestion won out?

On a scarier note, my Dad just watched a section of 'Yu-Gi-Oh the Movie', and he's making weird monster to amuse Mom. What's worse is that he watched the Seto vs Pegasus Duel. ACH! (pulls out paddle) He knows too much! Drastic action must be taken!

Okay, now time for the wonderful reviewers!

Funky Egyptian

Cliffhangers are evil but fun, as am I. Congrats on surviving school! (Claps and gives pie) Everyone loves pie!

I am in a constant cycle of writers block and drawers block. I'm just getting over a very nasty case of both. Very nasty. It happened at the same time. AND THIS CONFORKIN' HEAT ISN'T HELPING!

What does conforking mean? I don't know.

This answer is getting too long.

Oh well! Thank you as always for the lovely review!

Dark Princess Saz

I love Furuba, but I think Tohru Honda the Homicidal Maniac would be just as fun. Tee hee hee.

Seto, king of the nerds (laughs). It makes sense actually. In a weird way…

You're a CEO? AWESOME! I've never heard of Kitsune Corp though, but it sounds like it makes really cool things. Oh, and please don't stop being insane. I'm insane, and I like it! MER HER HER! Enjoy the chappie!

Mizz-Serenity-Wheeler

HOORAY! YOU'RE BACK AGAIN! HU-RAW!

There's a valuable lesson in that. Never reed fanfictions in the library. If you even giggle in the library, you'll get all these weird looks from everyone.

Wheeler Joey's weird. I just thought him up for some stupid reason so the four would have a reason to track down evil stuff in the mall. I'm almost ashamed to admit it.

Though the Serenity quote was fun though. Except I kinda ripped it off from Blackadder.

AS ALWAYS, IT'S GREAT TO HEAR FROM YOU! Thank you so much for the awesome review, and enjoy SUGAAAAAAAAR!

LoneFlyinTigers

Mean FF dot net, not bringing my stories up until the wee hours of the night…

Seto is a special kind of nerd. A very cool one. Cool nerd. Is that an oxymoron? I don't know but it makes sense…kinda…are you as confused as me?

I don't necessarily think that Wheeler was a wuss, more that Joey was kind of a bully. It makes sense now that you think about it. Not like a hard core bully or anything really bad, but you know, an idiot.

Oddly, I think Joey's going to pull this one off by himself. I don't know what's scarier, that idea, or what he's going to do to pull it through. HE'S INSANE I TELL YOU! INSANE!

Duke, sadly, I don't think is coming into this story. But I'm toying with the idea of bringing the Doom Bikers in. I originally wanted only the characters from Duelist Kingdom to come up, but who knows?

Questions never bother me. People tying stakes into their head and singing 'Anything Goes In', however, does. THANK YOU! I hope you luv dis chappie!

Mokuba's Official Glomper

I DIDN'T KILL YUKI, TOHRU DID! (sobs in horrible realization of what she unleashed)

Actually, I think that I'm going to bring Momiji back into the story. HE'S TOO CUTE TO REALLY KILL OFF! So's Yuki…and pretty much everyone else. How did Ayame manage to get out of all of that thought? I dunno, he's as weird as me…

THAT WAS A FUNNY REVIEW AS ALWAYS! You should publish a story consisting of nothing but your reviews. Seriously!

HI MOKUBA! Thanks again for being you! Ha ha! Oh, and thanks for being worried about me! Kien Sorge! I shall be updating all summer! $K00LZ OUT H3CK Y34H! Come back soon!

Bibo-Sama

Our town needs a geek patrol. Our TV's acting all weird…

Yay! I have follow your bad (kidding) example and to have put a Monty Python reference in my story! AAAAAAAAAAAH! PH34R 7H3 PY7H0N!

I'll remember to follow your advice! They are words to live by. HA! Thank you tonzies for the review!

Gothangelmyu

I'm a nerd, and I'm okay! Seto probably is too. That's why I like him. Come to think of it, Ryo is obsessed with RPG's so he is kinda a nerd. And Serenity hates gym, so that kind of makes her a nerd. And Joey's obsessed with card games and food, so he's a nerd too! WE HAVE MADE A TERRIBLE DISCOVERY!

Five of six kids? Ouch, I thought having one little brother was bad enough.

Believe me, I wouldn't mind a nerd ruled world at all.

Thanks for the review!

Tristan'soneandonlyfangirl

This chapter shall be good! I promise.

Seto is a bit of a computer head, isn't he? Oh yeah, the nerd short was fun. But the next short day special I'm working on…may scare you.

Thankie spankies for the review!

ShadowFire 2

Why aren't you supposed to be on? You're grounded?

Everyone likes Best Buy! Thanks for liking this story so much! I hope you got all the reviews I sent to you!

Onto the craziness!

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

If I Only Had a Chapter That Has Been Appropriately Named Chapter Twenty Four

And it attacked! Joey flailed around, hot blood coursing through his veins, sweat pouring down his neck, and his pupils dialated in fear, as the GRUESOME, HORRIFYING, BEAST CAME INTO VIEW AND-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Joey screamed. "SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"

And indeed, a tiny, foot long snake with pretty colors slithered right past Joey, not even caring he was screaming in fright.

"EVIL SNAKE!" Joey said, turning tails and running away, running headlong into the exit door. However, this door was made of a special material that Joey, scary enough, couldn't smash through. The door was locked, so Joey just slammed into it, unable to escape.

He was trapped in the same building as the worlds smallest, cutest, cuddliest, and most harmless snake.

---ooo---

MEANWHILE, WITH SETO!

"HEY-OW! LET GO OF ME! LET GO OF ME YOU NERDS!" screamed Seto angrily as he was dragged away to the deepest, darkest corner of Best Buy by the rouge nerds.

"But aren't you a nerd?" a nerd asked.

"NO!" Seto screamed.

"You look like a nerd," said another.

"Yeah, and your ripping out memory cards," said another nerd.

"And you're hanging out at Best Buy," another replied.

"I AM NOT A NERD!" Seto screamed.

"Silence nerd!" said the old crone. "You have been divinely chosen to defeat the horror that has been plaguing our fine store for weeks!"

"Huh?" Seto asked.

"BRING OUT THE POWER POINT!" said the old women, as a band of nerds connected a small fifteen inch laptop computer to a fifty-four inch plasma TV, and it lit up with the power point, the second in this story, which the first slide consisting of a goddess like figure in an ancient-looking carving.

"Kiesha, ancient goddess of electronic devices created this store," said the old crone. "In her reign, the land was fruitful and full, and everyone prospered, free of impurity and evil."

"Woo-hoo," said Seto.

"But," said the crone, as the slide changed to show a bunch of people in ancient carvings, "soon, the world became impure when people began going against divine laws. Horror ruled the land. Cruelty to others, playing RPG's day and night, over clocking memory cards, it was a mess."

"You're rapidly losing my intrest," Seto said.

"And so, to punish all that have wronged her, she sent off her supreme evil minion, The Laptop of Death!" said the old woman, as the slide showed a modern and blurred photograph of a laptop. "It has terrorized the northern side of the store, destroying everything it sees. The blood of many men now stains it's seventeen inch screen!"

"So?" Seto said.

"The only person who can thwart this terrible beast is the biggest, most oddly dressed nerd that has been for told to come today to destroy the dreaded Laptop of Death…which is you," said the old crone. "YOU ARE THE IKKI-IKKI-"

"Don't start that up again!" Seto yelled. "I don't care what you stupid nerds are going through, I am NOT helping you AT ALL! So you can all just buzz off!"

All the nerds gave Seto huge, chibi eyes behind their glasses.

"OH GOD, GIVE ME A BREAK!" Seto yelled.

Bigger chibi eyes.

"STOP IT!" Seto yelled.

They still stared.

"Grr…alright, but you better all get the heck out of my life after this!" Seto said. "So, do I get some sort of mystical weapon or anything?"

They all shook their heads.

"Has anyone else tried to stop this laptop, and died in the process?" Seto asked.

"Yep!" piped a nerd. "Like, forty of them!"

"Forty?" screamed another. "No way! It had to be at least eighty!"

"More like ninety," said another.

"No, I think it was closer to eighty," said another.

"Eighty?" screamed another. "It was past eighty last week!"

"No it wasn't, it was fifty last week," commented another.

"Well, to my count it was at least one hundred," said another.

"No! It was seventy-three!" cried another.

"No, it was sixty three!" commented another.

"Or was it a solid seventy?" asked another.

Seto just sighed, and turned around to head to the northern part of the store, while all the nerds continued to argue on how many people had died trying to stop the laptop of doom.

"Well this is just peachy," he said to himself.

"I agree. They really should have some sort of ancient weapon they save for the hero. I mean really, haven't these people heard of tradition?"

"MS. FUZZY-KINS!" he screamed, turning around to see her sitting on a rack of CDs. "What the heck are you doing here?"

"Well, I was reading Manga with Ryo and Serenity at Borders for a while, but then I got bored, so I decided to come here to see if you got yourself into trouble," she said. "And what do you know? I was right."

"What are they doing now?" Seto asked.

"Well, if I read the past chapter right, running away from some mythical queen of darkness which they accidentally unleashed. Or something like that."

MEANWHILE WITH SERENITY AND RYO

"S-she didn't follow us, did she?" Ryo asked, cowering behind a shoe rack in a payless shoe store not far from Borders in the mall, which he and Serenity had ran to after being chased (not) by the Queen of the Occult, making absolute fools of themselves in the process.

"Of course she didn't follow us Ryo," said Serenity. "We are in a Payless shoe store. Everyone knows that if there's one thing that creatures of evil hate more than shoe stores, it's discount shoe stores."

"Why?" Ryo asked.

"I don't know. It just is. It gives them bad luck, and makes them extremely unhappy," Serenity explained. "But we can't hide here forever. That horrible creature is loose in an unsuspecting mall. Who knows what horrible crimes she's committing right know!"

---ooo---

"-and so Arthur, he's my husband by the way, Arthur goes down to work again on our honeymoon, and he leaves me and our five kids alone with this wonderful dinner that I spent two days to prepare, and he just leaves! I can't get it off my mind! Oh, he apologized an' all, but I just can't help feeling that I deserve a little more for my physical and emotional pain! Am I being too selfish? Or do you think I deserve something from all of this?"

"Well, that's a very difficult question," said the Queen of the Occult to the rambling cashier at Gertrude Hawkins. "I really feel that your husband should hear your concerns, and them ask if he would go out to dinner. I'm sure once he understands how hurt you are, he'll take you to a nice place and buy you a nice dinner."

"Oh thank you, you're a lifesaver!" she said. "Here's your raspberry filled chocolates. Oh, by the way, do you want to see pictures of our kids?"

"Oh yes please," said the Queen of the Occult, as the weirdo cashier who had way too much hairspray in that made her hair huge.

---ooo---

"SHE'LL KILL EVERYONE IN THE STORE!" said Ryo.

"We have to appease her!" said Serenity. "I've got the book, so all we have to do is figure out how to suck her back into it. It's our fault she's been unleashed, so it's our job to ununleash her!"

"Who's ununleashing who?" said a chilling voice behind her, as the Queen of the Occult suddenly appeared behind them, casting a dark and scary shadow on them both.

"What are you doing here?" Serenity said. "Weren't you at the Gertrude Hawkins at the other side of the store five paragraphs back?"

"That doesn't matter," said the Queen of the Occult evilly. "All that matters is that very soon, I shall take what I have came for from both of you. And if you don't cooperate, you shall pay…ever so dearly…"

"So what's the plan?" Ryo frantically whispered.

"Well, it involved a short, shocked exclamation, grabbing your arm, running comically into a shoe rack, sending a bunch of shoes flying all around in every direction, clumsily scrambling to get out of the chaos, then charging out the door screaming like a little kid," said Serenity. "How does it sound?"

"Pretty good," said Ryo. "But can we do without the running into the shoe rack?"

"No, no, no, the shoe rack is physical comedy that lightens up and otherwise overly tense mood," said Serenity.

"Can we at least leave out the shoulder grabbing?" Ryo asked.

"Well…okay," said Serenity. "Ready?"

"Uh huh."

"OH GOD!" she screamed, and the rest of the scene commenced.

MEANWHILE WITH JOEY

As our idiotic friend hid in fear behind a shelf of plush toys in the girl section of the toy store, the tiny, adorable snake slid past, not bothering Joey or anyone else. However, Joey's stupidity impulse could not be ignored.

So during his mad dash to safety, he grabbed the book, A Field Guide to Incredibly Dangerous Snakes by Herum Slytherin(1997 Random House Publisher, all rights reserved). He quickly flipped through the book in panic to try to find out what kind of monster this snake is. Oddly, he found the snake's picture in an article, which read thus:

LESSER CUDDLE SNAKE

Notis Anacondais

This snake is not a dangerous snake at all, and in fact, it makes great pets for kids, being incredibly affectionate, soft, harmless, and even having the ability to complete minor household chores. We don't know why we even put it in this book. Oh yeah, we do. We had a free page, and we got really lazy and didn't feel like looking up information on another snake, so we just said 'Oh what the heck, just put in this snake as a joke'.

Unfortunately, Joey can't read.

"AH! IT'S A DANGEROUS SNAKE!" screamed Joey. "This is terrible! I need to recapture this beast before it can hurt anyone! But how?"

"Hey Mommy, I bought a Lesser Cuddle Snake!" said a little boy in the background, holding up a cardboard box. "If it somehow got loose, how do you catch it and put it back in it's box?"

"Thinking, thinking," Joey said deep in thought, scratching his head.

"Oh that's easy sweetheart," said his mother. "I am an expert snake hunter, and I know everything there is to know about trapping not-dangerous snakes!"

"Who could possibly know this?" Joey cried. "IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"You see, Lesser Cuddle Snakes love the sound of bells!" said the Mom. "All you have to do is ring one, and the Lesser Cuddle Snake will come slithering right to you, and he will be completely calm and tame, presenting no problem whatsoever in catching him and putting him in some kind of case!"

"IMPOSIBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!" screamed Joey.

"Thanks Mommy!" said the little boy. "Now I understand how to catch the Lesser Cuddle Snake, which I didn't know how to do before! Boy, even an idiot can do that!"

"WAIT!" Joey cried. "I HAVE AN IDEA!"

FOUR MINUTES LATTER

"Here Snaky, Snaky, Snaky," said Joey, hiding behind a display of sports balls, holding a string which was tied to a stick which held up a box which had a lollypop under it that was the bait for the trap. "Come and get the suuuuuugaaaaaaar."

Joey's plan consisted of waiting until the Lesser Cuddle Snake slid along the floor to the box to get the lollypop. He wouldn't suspect anything because Joey was hiding and the string was the same color as the floor. Then, while the snake was enjoying his treat, Joey would pull the string, and the box would fall down on top of the snake, trapping him.

And so the snake came sliding across the semi-dirty tile flooring, suddenly spotting the lollypop lying on the ground under the box. Just like as Joey predicted, he slithered over to the box, and began licking the lollypop with its long tongue.

"HA!" Joey cried triumphantly, pulling the string, which caused the snake to become trapped under the box. "I knew my incredibly cunning plan would work!"

---ooo---

"Hey Mommy," the little boy asked outside the store, "if the snake got loose, instead of using a bell, couldn't we just bait it?"

"Well, we could," said the Mom. "However, there is one thing that you must never use as bait. Sugar. Snakes are the animals that are most prone to sugar highness. When they get sugar high, it's ten times worse than anything that can happen to a human. They completely lose control over their body and mind, and they have the potential to destroy anything in there path."

"Wow, that would make and awesome fanfic chapter," said the little boy.

---ooo---

Just as Joey 'ha'ed triumphantly, the Lesser Cuddle Snake suddenly broke a whole clean through the box, and hissed wildly at open air. It flailed around in the box so powerfully that Joey was thrown off and sent speeding into a nearby wall at on hundred miles per hour, until her crashed rather painfully into it, leaving a bunch of cracks behind.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed, running around in circles, being utterly confused, as well as stupid. However, he managed to regain what little sanity coursed through his veins, and tried once again to slam into the door in the front entryway, only to again feel the effects of the slam-proof material.

"I'LL NEVER GET OUT!" he screamed, pounding one of the double-doors with all his might. However, the person right next to him followed the directions of the sign over the door, which said 'pull', and walked out.

"YES!" Joey cried, running out through the space in the door with a mad dash, while the sugar-high Lesser Cuddle Snake managed to smash right through the slam-proof door.

"Hooray! I saved the store!" Joey said happily, as the snake began destroying everything in its wake, as an innocent populous in the mall scattered and screamed at the top of their lungs.

MEANWHILE WITH SETO

"Here we are," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins cheerfully as she and Seto entered a part of the store that was littered with broken computer parts, skulls, and light fixtures, which created a sinister layer of purely dead matter strewn across the floor. The lights flickered on and off, and most were out permanently, creating a very dark atmosphere, as well as the fact that a layer of fog slowly drifted upwards towards them. Tape recordings of crows and owls echoed eerily in the background.

"Oh great, the authoress has gone out of the way to make a moor setting," said Seto. "Honestly, I hate this story."

"We should be looking for clues to where this horrible laptop is," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins. "There has to be some somewhere."

"I'm sure that huge laptop that has blood dripping from its CD-RW drive that's running toward us at uncalculated speeds probably would be in a step in the right direction," said Seto sarcastically.

"Yeah, I guess," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, as the laptop leaped into the air, and dive bombed right toward the two.

"Let's get this over w-" Seto said, until he got tackled down by the laptop, which was attacking him and going straight for his neck. So resulted a horrific battle between one of the most ferocious mythical laptops known to man, and…Seto. Seto tried desperately to fight back, but the laptop had the strength of ten men, really nasty, sharp corners, and it was equipped with all the basics needed for victory. Mouse for strangling, keyboard for flogging, web cam to send humiliating photos to every citizen on the Pacific Coast, that kind of thing. It was very obvious who would take round one.

"Didn't win, did you?" asked Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, as Seto dragged himself away from the fight scene, with huge scratches all over his body, torn clean through his clothes.

"Gee, I can't feel my spine, I think my arms broken in three places, and I'm tasting my own blood. WHAT DO YOU THINK?" he screamed.

"I think I have a plan," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, "but you're going to have to-"

"Shut up," said Seto, dragging himself back to the fight scene. "This thing is way too powerful. I'm sticking to my strengths, and my strengths don't include asking tactical advice from inanimate objects."

"Fine, just don't die, it's way to much paperwork," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins. "Oh well, I guess this is going to fit into Seto's traditional 'hard lesson' formats."

SEVERAL FIGHT SCENES LATTER

"Are you done being stubborn?" asked Ms. Fuzzy-Kins.

"NO!" Seto screamed, his face in the dirt, even more beaten up than before.

"Too bad. You're not learning any valuable lesson fast enough, and I'm sick of you not caring that about the fact that you're being mauled by a laptop," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins. "Use the web cam."

"Use the what?" Seto asked.

"The web cam!" said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins. "Come on, put it all together."

"Oh," Seto said in realization, managing to pick himself back up and walk toward the laptop fight scene. The keyboard typed by itself, sending a message across the screen that said 'have you had enough?'

"No, you stupid laptop," said Seto, and with one quick movement, flipped on the web cam.

'What was that for you stupid h-'

But the evil laptop couldn't finish it sentence. Its server completely melted down…thanks to the infamous Seto Kaiba death glare.

"HOORAY!" cried a band of nerds, suddenly emerging from the gloom.

"THEY WERE HERE ALL ALONG?" screamed Seto.

"Duh," Ms. Fuzzy-Kins said.

"Hail the great hero!" cried the old crone, arms spread upwards in joined. "His name shall be known forever! Songs shall be sung about him! Tales shall be told about him! EVERY CHILD SHALL KNOW H-"

"Yeah yeah lady, that wasn't part of the deal!" said Seto. "All of you promised to get out of my life forever, and I don't see it happening, SO BEAT IT!"

"Huh?" everyone asked.

"That's right, beat it! Get out of hear ya stinkin' turbo nerds!" screamed Seto. "All of you! Right now! Go away!"

"Aw," all the nerds sighed, walking away.

"It's a shame really," said one nerd. "All that fame, all that respect, and he just threw it away. It's sad."

"Yeah," said another. "We'll just say that Bob did it!"

So as Seto and Ms. Fuzzy-Kins left the battlefield forever, a bunch of nerds sung and danced in celebration of the victory of Bob Vitcuas, a very lucky nerd.

MEANWHILE, WITH SERENITY AND RYO

"Serenity," Ryo said weakly. "I'm tired. I've covered in bruises from all the stuff we ran into during the chase scene. It's getting really late in the chapter, and we still need to do the rap up. Can't we just stop?"

"But the Queen of the Occult might kill us!" Serenity said.

"I'm feeling…kinda dead…" Ryo said, sinking to the floor.

"Ryo!" Serenity cried. "On no. The first has fallen in the wake of the Queen of the Occult. WHO'S NEXT? WHO?"

"You," said the Queen, and Serenity turned around in shock to see the Queen of the Occult right behind her. "You have something I want Serenity. I want it back…very badly…"

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY SOUL WITHOUT A FIGHT, YOU UNHOLY SCUM!" screamed Serenity.

"What?" the Queen of the Occult asked.

"I'LL RUN YOU THROUGH WITH THIS SILVER CROSS I BOUGHT AT THE DOLLAR STORE!" Serenity yelled, holding one up.

"Are you okay?" the Queen of the Occult asked.

"Aren't you…here…for my…uh, soul?" Serenity asked uneasily.

"I'm here for the book you stole, you stupid shop lifter," said the Queen of the Occult.

"WHAT?" Serenity screamed.

"That book," the girl said, pointing to the 'evil book' Serenity had in her arms. "You didn't pay for it. You just ran screaming when I caught you. So hand over the book, or you're going to be in even more trouble when I call the police."

"NO! I'm not a shoplifter!" Serenity said. "I thought you were…uh, I know this sounds really stupid…I thought you were, um, going to hurt us and take over the world?"

"Why?" she asked.

"This book said that whoever even looked at it would release the Queen of the Occult, and I thought it was stupid, but then you came around saying that it's been 'so long since anyone's looked at that book'!" Serenity cried.

"Well it has," said the girl. "I was beginning to think that we were never going to sell it!"

"But…but then you got all creepy and showed us 'you're true form'!" Serenity cried.

"Oh these," said the girl. "I've had them for a long time. I was thinking about getting them removed, and I wanted someone to give me their opinion. So I chose you two."

"BUT THE FLIPPIN' BOOK SAID SOMEONE WAS GOING TO DESTROY THE WORLD!" Serenity screamed.

"Turn to page two," said the girl, as Serenity flipped open the book.

"'Ha ha, just kidding'," Serenity read. "'And now, we're going to learn how to make a lovely spice rack'."

"Yep," said the girl.

Serenity turned into a big, fat, embarrassed chibi.

"S-sorry…" she said.

"I'll just take the book back, and call this a misunderstanding," said the girl.

"Thank…you…" said Serenity, handing it over, as the Borders girl walked away.

"Well, I think I learned a lesson from all of this," said Ryo.

"Yep," said Serenity. "This is the last time I jump to conclusions."

"HI SETO!" Ryo screamed cheerfully, waving violently as Seto walked into the scene.

"Nice Ryo," said Seto sarcastically. "Where's Joey? Is he dead?"

"NO SETO!" Joey screamed, with Wheeler Joey by his side. "I HAVE DISCOVERED WHO WAS BEHIND ALL OF THIS CHAOS THAT WE HAVE ENDURED!"

"Darn, he's not," Seto said.

"Wait, this was planed?" Ryo asked.

"Yes!" Joey screamed. "The true person was-"

He threw a tied up middle-aged woman into the middle of the fray.

"MY KINDERGARTEN ENGLISH TEACHER!" screamed Joey.

"Alright! I admit it!" screamed the insane woman. "I hate you Joey Wheeler! YOU SPENT FOUR YEARS, FOUR STINKIN' YEARS IN MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS! You wouldn't leave…you just got worse and worse…you got stupider, I swear, until one day, I had enough. All my suffering was to be repaid! So I misread the name of this mall, thinking it was YOURS, and I decided to sabotage it, but then YOU came along, and I realized my mistake. But I nearly got you. I NEARLY GOT ALL OF YOU!"

"Thank you so much for your help," said Wheeler Joseph. "Joey, I owe you my sincerest apologies for causing you so much trouble, and I hope that I can someday thank you."

"It was still fun to kick your butt in kin-"

"QUIET!" Ryo, Seto, and Serenity screamed.

"And I would have gotten away with it too!" screamed the teacher. "If it weren't for you…meddling kids and your stupid dog!"

"Ruh-raow?" said a confused Red Dog in the background.

"ARGGH! ALL GET YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLL!" she screamed as she was dragged off by the police.

"Well, it can't get any more random than that," said Serenity, just as two cops tackled Joey against the wall, twisted his arms behind his back, and handcuffed him.

"Joey Wheeler, you are under arrest for stealing the Mona Lisa, the Hope Diamond, for being an unlicensed idiot out of season, and…oh yeah, we hate you," said one police officer. "You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will be used against you. You have a right to an attorney-"

"Whoa," said Serenity, as Joey laughed like a mindless lunatic while being thrown into the back of a police car. "I stand corrected. It can't get any more random than that."

"Jeez, it figures," Seto said. "I started off thinking this was going to be quick and easy, but nooooo, I get caught in the most random, stupid fanfic know to man. It wasn't like I was suspecting the Spanish Inquisition."

And with that, a dramatic, background 'BUM!' sounded, and three cardinals ran into the scene out of nowhere.

"NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" screamed one of them.

"Oh God, it can," said Serenity.

"Seto Kaiba!" screamed one, threatening him menacingly. "You have been charged with…heresy!"

"I knew this was coming eventually," said Seto.

"SHUT UP!" said another, glomping him with a large cross.

"Take him to…THE COMFY CHAIR!" screamed the leader, as the two other cardinals dragged him off.

"I have no regrets!" Seto cried, as he was totted off to the dreaded comfy chair.

"Oh geez!" Serenity cried. "Joey's heading toward a federal jail, and Seto's heading to some remote torture chamber! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?"

"What can anyone do…BUT SING?" Ryo cried.

"Huh?" Serenity asked.

"HEY NOW, HEY NOW, DON'T DREAM IT'S OVER, HEY NOW, HEY NOW, WHEN THE WORLD COMES IH-HI-IN-" Ryo sang into a microphone that appeared out of nowhere, with the rest of Crowded House playing behind him.

"Oh great!" screamed Serenity. "Now what am I gonna d-"

WE INTERUPT THIS FANFICTION CURRENTLY IN PROGRESS TO BRING YOU BREAKING NEWS

"Hello. I am Mike Roberts," said a news reporter. "This just in. World War Nine has officially begun. Yes, I know it's rather confusing, but for some strange reason, everyone wanted to take a miss on World Wars Three through Eight, and skip straight to nine. Don't ask me why. They just did. BUT WHO CARES! Let's see which celebrities are getting married this week."

"Yes," said Paris Hilton on a TV screen behind the news reporter. "I have decided to marry this cabbage, a very lovely head of cabbage by the way, who is heir to the Green Giant empire-"

WE INTERUPT THIS INTERUPTION OF THE INTERUPTED FANFICTION THAT IS IN PROGRESS BUT IS CURRENTLY BEING INTERUPTED FOR BREAKING NEWS FROM THE DESK OF THE AUTHORESS

Shrilanka: Hello. I am Shrilanka-San, current writer of this fan fiction, and pending oppressive dictator of the obscure eastern European country of Katsurtarvania. We have recently suffered a massive breakdown on the Randomness Limitation Processing System, or RLPS, that keeps this entire story somewhat sane. Since it has been working on a strenuous level in preparation for the upcoming extreme drama chapter, coming soon of course, and the fact that I forgot to check its batteries, it has had a massive meltdown, but will be fixed by next chapter. We are terribly sorry by the very shocking footage in this story that you have just seen, and now, to the current general knowledge, Paris Hilton is not engaged to a cabbage…yet. Again, we are sorry for the inconvenience, and as a basic idea for what should have happened at the end of this chapter, Serenity and her friends walk off into the sunset, and everything's going well, until the make camp, and this mysterious Flying, Fuzzy Bunny comes with a ominous message for-

(Tohru Honda, Kisa Sohma, and Hatori Sohma bust in)

Kisa: THERE! That's her! She's the one who made fun of us!

Tohru: GET HER!

Shri: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (all run around and crash into things, destroying the press room) STOP THE CAMERA! (tries to cover camera) STOP THE CAMEARA! STOP THE CAM-

BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

---ooo---

MER HER HER! That was fun.

Okay, a few things we need to get out of the way. YOU BETTER ALL BE READING THIS, BECAUSE IT'S VERY IMPORTANT!

Right. I was thinking that (maybe) as a special little treat after the terrifically horrible drama chapter that's coming up, I was going to do something different by taking in peoples ideas, and making a whole bunch of shorts into a chapter. Does it sound stupid? I was thinking about it, and it kind of sounded like fun. Maybe…you'll all get credit, of course. I just thought it was kind of a cool idea. If you don't like it, feel free to tell me.

OKAY! Now, for a super special list! First…an introduction…

INTORDUCTION

Shri: Little brother, mom said it's time to turn off the TV.

(Little Brother walks up, dressed in a wizard robe with a wizard hat on, a bath robe over all of it)

Shri: May I ask you why you're dressed like that?

Brother: Felt like it (pulls out deck) DUEL ME!

Shri: No! I don't duel people who are dressed like girls!

Brother: AAAAAAAAAW!

Shri: Then again…pretty much everyone else on the show dresses like a girl…so maybe…nah…

Brother: OH! I GOT AN IDEA! Let's make a list of all the girly men in Yu-Gi-Oh!

Shri: That'd be a long list…

THE TOP FIVE GIRLIEST MEN IN YU-Gi-OH

PrintLittle Brother

ItalicsShrilanka-San

#5 PEGASUS: He's got a really girly hairdo. Yeah, and the matching colored outfits…somehow, that screams feminine to me. Or am I just being critical? Oh, and the white, pointy dress shoes.

#4 DARTZ: He's got another really girly hairdo. Plus, he has big, fat, girly eyelashes. He defiantly uses mascara. And also, he wears a dress. A dress. I don't care if they look like robes. There dresses I telya. And what's with those girly boots? And those eye-color changing contact lenses?

#3 ODION: He's got a ponytail. I've seen guys with ponytails. Cool and creepy. Especially when they have beards to go with it. Again with the dress thing. And the mascara. And he probably wears eyeliner too.

#2 MARIK: He's wearing a midriff for crying out loud! I mean really, guys wearing midriffs? It's totally creepy. Ditto to the eyeliner and mascara thing. I bet he curls and bleaches that girly hair of his.

#1 ALISTAR: He wears a midriff, a dress (some call it a trench coat), has huge green girly eyes, wears makeup I bet, and has a feminine hairdo. WE ALL LOVE THE GIRLY MAN! I really did think he was a girl. It took me until his duel with Seto to figure out otherwise .X. Oh dang, we forgot Yami. Dang, Kaiba too.

---ooo---

Ladies and Gentlemen, undeniable proof that the entire family is insane!

Oh yes, before I forget, I don't own any of the stores mentioned in the mall at all. Just to get that out of the way. I also don't own Paris Hilton, the Spanish Inquisition sketch from Monty Python, or 'Don't Dream it's Over' by Crowded House (the ORIGINAL one! WITH the British People!)

WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS WANT A PREVIEW?

---ooo---

"Serenity! The Tooth Fairy's gone!" Joey cried.

"Gone?" Serenity asked.

"Uh huh!" Joey said. "I woke up this morning, and he was gone! Gone! GOOOOOOOONE!"

"Yes Joey, no need for repetition," Serenity said. "Next question. Why are you threatening a rock?"

"HE KNOWS SOMETHING!" Joey screamed. "ALRIGHT! TELL ME WHERE THE TOOTH FAIRY IS! TELL ME!"

The rock did nothing.

"THEN PERHAPS BEING HIT WITH A BUNCH OF DAISIES WILL CHANGE YOU'RE TUNE!" screamed Joey, pulling out a bunch of daisies, smacking the rock with them repeatedly hitting it with them.

---ooo---

(Insert Monty Python theme song here)