AN: Aw man, hurt my brain the other day by simplifying the boys' situation, just so I, the creator of this fan fiction, could better understand it. Oh, and… that last chapter wasn't THE last chapter. Sorry.


Watch the Pendulum Swing

Stan didn't say anything as we approached him, but merely let us pass him as we entered the house. Closing the door behind him he turned to face us, looking at the both of us closely.

"You're both wet."

It's good to see he understands our situation so well. "Kyle what's with your eye?" He continues.

"Snowball incident," we both answered together.

"Oh, well you know where the bathroom is."

"Yeah, I'll be right back," he responded and leaves my side to head to the downstairs bathroom, bumping into the wall on the way there.

"Snowball incident?" Stan repeated, turning back to me once Kyle is safely inside the restroom.

I nod, "we had a snowball fight on the way here. I got one in his eye by accident."

Another nod from him.

"Where are you parents? They should have beaten us here, we walked."

"They're stopping to pick up some food. Pizza sound good?"

"Sounds fine."

If crickets lived indoors, I would be hearing them now. I can't get why things feel like this. First the tension with Kyle, but that was cut short with the snowball fight and as I look around, I know I can't get myself out of this tension with the same tactic.

"Stan wha-"

I'm interrupted by Kyle opening the bathroom door and walking out. Both eyes are open but one of them, the one attacked by the ice, is red and slightly puffy due to his rubbing. He looks miserable... and slightly annoyed.

Before any of us can say a word to each other the front door opens and Mr. and Mrs. Marsh bumble in through, carrying two pizza boxes and some of my bags.

"Oh, good, you're all here, could you please get the rest of the-"

The three of us happily take the pizza and head into the kitchen, not allowing Mrs. Marsh to finish her sentence. We munch on the pizza like it'll be our last pie, not talking as we do so. In the middle of our consumption, Stan's mom comes in and lets me know that I'll be staying in Shelly's room like last time before leaving us alone again. When we finish up, Kyle makes some lame excuse for why he has to leave, homework or something of the like and takes off, but not before asking if I'll need help with my own. I tell him I'll be fine and that I'll see him tomorrow, Stan stays mute.

Leaving the empty pizza boxes on the table Stan and I head upstairs to make the bed I'll be sleeping in.

"What's up?" I ask. We might as well get this over with. We can't not talk to each other the whole time I'm here, and I have a bit of a feeling it could be for a much longer time than I was last.

"Huh?" He gives me a confused look as he stuffs a pillow in a pillowcase.

"I mean, what's going on? You bolted from the lake earlier."

"Oh, yeah, I just wanted to get you here as soon as possible. Did things go alright at your parents?"

"As well as they could, I guess. But we can go on about me later. Are you alright? You've been more quiet than usual, is it because of Kyle?"

"Kyle? Like how?"

I shrug, why the hell is he making this so difficult. "Did you leave because you were uncomfortable being around him after that game?"

Stan gives a noncommittal grunt.

"Do I have to get you buzzed before I can get anything out of you every time we talk?" I ask, finally getting frustrated with his behavior.

"What? No, I, its hasn't got much to do with Kyle. Well it does but… it's complicated."

"Alright, well we have weeks, maybe months of being under the same roof so make it less complicated and tell me what's with your new found mood. It's because of that last statement we all had to drink to isn't it?"

He gives me a look from where he's smoothing a corner of a sheet.

"It is." I state. "Well come on, I thought you wanted it to be me and you, I thought you wanted normalcy, things aren't exactly normal but you can still talk to me. Is it Kyle you have the attraction for?"

Stan avoids my eye as he leans over to adjust a quilt that doesn't need adjusting. "You answer first."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you drank from the bottle too, what male friend are you attracted to?"

I scratch my head giving him an odd look, "look Stan, I don't know how much you know about my um… sexual life, but I'm not really… picky, if you get what I mean."

"I know that."

"You do? From who?" I ask, slightly worried that maybe he has learned of that night with Tweek, the one I regret more than anything I've ever done.

His response was giving me a look that said it was obvious. Okay, so I wasn't trying hard to keep that secret. The one of my orientation anyway.

"Right," I tell him. "I guess you could say I'm attracted to anyone that's attractive."

"Does that include Kyle?" He asks me plainly.

That… was unexpected.

"Because you mentioned that one time that I should bask at the idea that Kyle liked me because he was one hot Jew, with his creamy complextion and green eyes, as you put it." He looked pointedly at me, waiting for my reply.

"Err… I guess I am, yes."

He looked off and nodded to nothing in general before walking over to close his bedroom door. I watched him closely as he walked toward me.

"And you? Who did you drink that bottle for?" I asked slowly.

Stan looked so unsure of himself as if he was fighting an inner demon, because his eyes look troubled. He's fidgeting and trying his damnedest not to meet my eyes, that were curiously seeking him out. I kept thinking what Kyle had said. He's attracted to me, Stan's attracted to me.

Maybe… he is.

"What about… what about me? Are you attr- um, that is, do you feel the same way about me that you do Kyle?"

He's seriously asking me this and I can't think of a reaction, he ends up having to say it again as he walks a little closer, closing in on my personal space so we're only inches apart. He's so close I can smell his breath and I realize just how hard he's breathing. He's a bit red in the face, from slight embarrassment, but other than that he looks rather confident.

Even though I am attracted to Stan, Kyle's face is what I see. That smile, that fake smile that gave me permission to ravish Stan if I so chose too. I'm just now starting to make the most of my best friends, of learning what they're about and how they feel underneath the invisible cloth that they wear in public and at school.

Wait, did I think-… I am attracted to Stan. That isn't something that I've readily agreed to, yet it doesn't mean I want something to come from it. But looking at him, I know that's complete bullshit. Stan would be great for me, I think he would. He's already made me feel needed even if I did see it as a selfish need at first. Now though, I can see his want.

If I give Stan the answer, I think, he wants, Kyle's veil is going to close back down, never mind that he gave his permission. He'd still be crushed and he deserves more than that. He deserves a good set of friends just as I do, just as Stan does.

"I don't." I finally say, and Stan stops where his head was moving in toward my own. He pulls back and scrunches his eyebrows together.

"You're lying," and before I can protest I feel his lips on my own. I never thought Stan would have the confidence to make such a foreign move, but I don't have much time to analyze it because I'm getting lost in the kiss. He's fighting to claim dominance and I break out of my dreamy haze and fight back. I've never been the submissive one and I don't plan to start now.

In between our lips clashing together I grab a hold of him and pull back, "this isn't going to work if you don't let me take over," I say in a breath before resuming our contact. I can feel him give in and I smile which makes him smile back and allows me further entrance into his mouth.

Fuck, he's a good kisser.

My hands begin to roam, I want to feel this body I've been looking at for years, I want to know every curve, and fully explore the toned muscles. When I feel something hard against my thigh, I'm snapped out of what's happening. I have to remember. This is Stan, he's never been with a guy, I can't just dive in as much as I want too, and besides… I also remember Kyle.

I don't mean to be harsh, but I end up pushing Stan pretty hard away from me. We're both panting from the lack of air and I have to rub my hands over my face and hair. I need to calm down. He's staring at me like I've lost all my brain cells and attempts to grab a hold of me, but I pull back like his hand is acid.

"Fuck, god, I know." He starts as he begins pacing. "I promised myself that I wouldn't do this, that I would let Kyle have you because of all the past false accusations. That Kyle deserved you more than I did, and he does. He works so hard in school to please his mom that he hardly has anything for himself but, shit Kenny, I can't." He turns back to look at me.

I'm confused. "What?"

"I can't let Kyle have you, I should, it'd be the friend thing to do but I can't."

"Stan… Kyle and I just want to be friends."

"What?" He asks, now he's confused. "But the guy he drank for… and I saw you two holding hands and getting close, I thought…"

I shake my head slowly back and forth. That's why he's been like this since the lake, because of mine and Kyle's brief closeness? He was trying to restrain himself from doing, what we just did.

"Then who is he-, Oh."

He understands it. Finally.

"Me?" He asks to double check.

I nod.

"Really?"

"Yeah, but he wasn't ever going to tell you."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"I'll have to talk to him."

"No. Don't… if you talk to him and let him know you realize he does like you he'll never get over it. Everything'll just be awkward and that was something he didn't want, which was why you weren't ever supposed to know."

"…Okay, but than you and I?"

It's an incomplete sentence, but I know what he means and I shake my head.

"Why not?"

"Kyle," I say simply, but I can see that isn't a good enough answer for him. I sit on his bed and look at my hands. Stan stares at me for a moment before sitting beside me, yet not very close. I'm glad he can sense I don't want his touch right now, because if he touched me… god, I wouldn't be able to control myself.

"Kyle figured out that I was who you were attracted too, and he gave me the go ahead. He said that it was alright with him if we became more than friends."

I looked over at him. He still doesn't understand.

"He can't really be okay with it. He can't. I know he isn't, and he was willing to let us be… something, but I can't do that to him. I couldn't possibly take something he's wanted for so many years."

Stan's eyes widen slightly, "but he-"

"You understand right? You were, for awhile anyway, willing to give up me for Kyle when you thought he liked me and Kyle was willing to do the same and so am I."

"But… but that's just stupid! So none of us get what we want!"

"I know… but think about it. Now that you know Kyle's feelings would you really be able to say "fuck Kyle" and get something out of this?" I gesture back and forth at him.

He slumps back down on the bed beside me, "no. But for once I wish I could." He looks up. "One more kiss?"

I don't even hesitate to nod, and I just go in, I want one more as well.

This time the hasty searching is over, instead it's replaced with desperation from his side. He wants me to change my mind, but I wont and deep down I know he wouldn't want me to.

I don't think we would have ever really pulled away, but we hear a knock on the door and jumped apart from each other just as his mom walks in.

She looks around suspiciously, "are you boys done making the bed?"

"No," we say and she gives us a curious look.

"Well hurry along then, I want you to get on your homework, it's been an interesting day so I know neither of you has even started and Kenny," she looks at me. "I know your grades so don't think I won't be hounding you. You will be graduating; no second son of mine is going to be a second year."

I smile and nod, she smiles back and leaves, keeping the door opened.


AN: Well? Disappointed? Please read and review

Faery Goddyss :)