Ch. 1 History of the dreams

I didn't know what to do any more. I

wasn't supposed to feel sorrow. I wasn't supposed to feel anything ,but here I was, frightened and crying. The dreams had that effect on me. A nagging at the back of my mind like a caress that made me feel all these strange emotions that I had never really got to experience and they were over someone I didn't even know. Hell, I wasn't even sure they were real. It could be just my imagination, but every now and then I find myself wanting to believe they, whoever "they" might be, exist. Someone to lean on.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand trying my best to suck it up and have a normal day. A new beginning for a new day, I thought half- heartedly. The phone rang loudly from its spot on the nightstand next to my bed. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat before answering it. I'm a bit picky when it comes to people knowing I've just been crying. "Hello?" I sounded puny, even to me.

"Hey, Jeweliah. You ok?" It was Rodney Wegener, my partner and closest friend. His Manchester accent was thick and low as he asked me this.

"Yeah, sure. Why?"

"You don't sound ok. Are you sure you want to come in today?"

"You should know the answer to that already. Of course I'm coming in."

"You're not doing yourself any favors by acting like you're superwoman," Rodney said, "even she needs a break."

"Yeah, yeah. No need to remind me," I sighed heavily rubbing my eyes. "Listen I'll meet you at the station in half an hour."

"Hey I want you to take some days off, it'll do you some good and don't bring any work home with you. I've already pulled three days for you starting tomorrow."

"Mike know about this?"

"Mike suggested it or more like demanded it."

"Fine I'll see you soon."

"Hey, promise me."

"Promise you what?"

"That you'll stay home and do as you're told for once."

"Alright, Alright. Now I got to get ready."

"Bye."

The line went dead and I hung up on my end. I got up out of bed and walked down the hall to the small kitchen and dinning room. An island sat in the middle connected to some dark stained wood cabinets and a counter top where my stove was built in with a place for my microwave as well. It was almost closed in except for the door sized opening to the right that had a little swing in door like the ones you see in bars in those old western movies. I thought it added a little decorative something to the cream colored walls that were throughout the apartment . The counter top and top to the island are both a black speckled burgundy giving the kitchen a warm feel. It reminded me of one of those log houses that smell like a cinnamon bread backery all the time but my apartment was far from that with its one bedroom and bathroom, you had your own little storage room down in the lobby for your junk that you just kept in boxes before.

I turned on the coffee machine becoming anxious mainly for the caffeine which was a bad sign but I just told myself I wasn't addicted I just needed something to wake me up. Nothing like a little java to get your energy cranking.

Opening the refrigerator door for cream, Giles, my pet cat (which was a wedding present from my sister, Krista) pranced in circles around my feet. I could hear him purr loudly as he rubbed against my blue cotton pajama bottoms.

"What do you want, Gigi?" The black cat just purred even louder and circled my legs once more before going over to his fish bowl.

"I see." His large green eyes seemed to shine as I got out the milk and cream. Setting the dairy products on the island counter I smirked at the pleased feline as I quickly opened the milk and poured some in his bowl. His purring became incredibly loud as he drank greedily, swishing his tail back and forth as he did so.

I grabbed a coffee cup from the cabinet and poured me a cup as soon as the coffee was ready with some cream and a spoon full of sugar. I could never understand how men went around drinking black coffee, it had such a bitter taste but I guess you learn to like it. The warm sweet liquid was soothing almost like taking a warm bath to ease tension and stress but with coffee it warmed you head to toe and filled your senses. I drank a second cup before heading to the shower and when I was done I rinsed the cup out and put it back in the cabinet. I got a plastic bowl from out of the cabinet and put some dry cat food in it and set it down for Giles. He thanked me again by purring loudly once more as I went down the hall and turned into the first door on the left before my bedroom and flipped on the lights. The light blue of my bathroom walls made it seem colder than it was and I had half a mind to remodel it but the truth was I liked the coldness of it. I took a quick shower and got dressed as quick as possible. Wouldn't do me any good to be late for work. I put on a pair of blue jeans and a comfortable black T-shirt with a picture of max shrex on the front. A pair of thick white socks and my docks, then to complete my so called uniform a light black jacket. My hair was to long and thick to just leave down but today I would make an exception. I grabbed a ponytail off the bathroom sink and put it up in a loose ponytail, trying to keep the curls in place was just about as impossible as trying to lick your elbow so better to just do it sloppy.

Grabbing my shoulder pack off the kitchen table and the keys to my Dodge I headed out the door locking it behind me. It was only a five minute drive from the apartment complex to Valettee county police station on Quanto road and I still had 15 minutes until I was officially late for work so I stopped by Benny's and got a large coffee with some bagels for Rodney, I had to tell the guy thank you for putting up with me the last couple of months and breakfast seemed like a good idea.

I sat the coffee and bagels down in my lap as I started the ignition and headed down to the police station. Quanto road turned at a 4-way road and turned down Maple highway. Past Velettee R-3 Elementary school was the station and Velettee Memorial Hospital. I turned the dodge left into the station parking lot. Rodney was waiting for me. He waved, a simple raise of the hand, and came to my truck putting his hands on the hood. I rolled down the window.

"Hey," he said bending his head down slightly.

"I got you make up food," I said handing it to him through the window.

"I didn't realize we were having a tiff," he said searching through the bag with bagels.

"Yeah well…"

"Thanks," Rodney said moving out of the way so I could get out of the truck. I didn't look at him to see if he was being sarcastic or not, I knew he wasn't and if my memory served me correctly he would have that god awful sincere look in his eyes that made me feel guilty for nothing. Like the guilty feeling that comes from lying to your grandmother about how you like her cooking. Truthfully that's not the only thing, there's something else I always see when I make eye contact with him and I'm not ready to face it yet. That's what makes Rodney such a good cop, he ensnares you in the depths of his soulful dark eyes. The kind you give up personal information for just so you won't have to face them afterwards.

I rolled up my window and turned the ignition off. Opening the door I grabbed the keys and my shoulder pack as I got out and pressed the look button on my keys before shutting the door.

"Something interesting about those shoes or are you trying to burn holes in them."

I looked up at Rodney briefly, "No just thinking."

"Well lets go inside. I'll share my food." Rodney said holding the bag out to me. I pushed it away with a shake of my head.

"No thanks. I get sick when I eat in the mornings."

We walked through the front entrance and signed our log sheets. Meg our secretary was sitting quietly doing paperwork at her desk behind the main counter. She looked up as we came to her desk and handed her the log sheets and my shoulder pack. "It's good to see you back Jeweliah," she said.

"Yeah, you too," I smiled at her. She always seemed so polite, one of them people who followed the speed limit and flashed pictures of their grandchildren, which she has done on more than one occasion.

When Rodney wasn't looking she gave him a less than appropriate once over and winked at me. I rolled my eyes, slightly shaking my head. Just goes to show you how good my judge of character is.

After clearing our log cards Meg nodded it was ok for us to go up to homicide which was just up stairs. She handed us back our cards and we just turned to walk away when…

"oh! Jeweliah wait, I forgot to check your bag."

"I'll see up upstairs," Rodney called over his shoulder heading up the stairs already.

"Alright." I turned back to Meg who was quickly checking the pockets of my bag. She finished and nodded.

"so….," she said as if to start a conversation "Are you two ever going to be lovers…." she dragged the word out emphasizing her point.

"No," I smiled as I took my bag from her. She shook her head in disapproval.

A.N. Ok chapter one, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Any suggestions and flames will be accepted. I need to know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong.

Koty M.