AN: Sorry this took some time to pump out. Just entered university and have realized from now on, until breaks I won't have much free time.


Watch the Pendulum Swing

A Routine Love Song; Love is a Verb

I've been living at the Marsh's for three weeks now and I've only heard from my mom once. Typical, I'm not worried, disappointed maybe, but not worried. I think if things really got bad, not that they weren't before, I believe she'd leave. I'm just waiting for the day that she realizes that when dad hits her it isn't because he loves her. Until then, I'm here. I haven't heard from Kevin at all, but that was expected and I don't think I will. He was always blind to the situation and having to live at his friends has probably hit him with a shock he doesn't understand. If we were that certain type of siblings, I'd be there for him so we could deal with this together, but we're not, so we wait and hope for the best on our own.

The mid-terms have come and gone and I passed, barely but I managed, so for now, my prospect of graduating isn't hanging from such a thin thread. After the whole situation with Stan things became understandably uncomfortable. I had wondered for awhile how we'd deal with one another, living in the same house and all, but because of the mid-terms I spent far more time at Kyle's as he helped me study.

I never did fully explain to him what went on between Stan and me, but he knows something happened, granted he hasn't asked. Though, things between them have gone back to normal. Stan has been acting as if he never knew Kyle ever had a thing for him and that seems to sit with Kyle fine. On the outside anyway, I still catch him, on occasion, staring at him wistfully when he isn't looking, when he doesn't think I'm looking. He's doing it right now actually.

Stan is rummaging through his backpack for something, "Kyle."

He turns his head to look at me as I call out for him. I give him a lopsided smile and he gives me a look that says he knows he's been caught.

Stan jerks up from his bag when Cartmans obese frame walks into him; Cartman gives him a sneer before continuing to walk toward Craig and the others. Cartman no longer thinks we're worthy of his company since he has a girlfriend. In actuality I think it's because he's tired of his girlfriend eyeing her ex-boyfriend with hungry eyes.

I watch as he sits next to Clyde, with Wendy on his other side. He possessively puts an arm around her waist and I watch as she does all she can not to tense at his touch. Regardless that I don't have to for either of them, I feel bad for both Wendy and fat ass. Cartman, as much as a prick as he is, does genuinely like Wendy. He always has really; yet, it's obvious to everyone except him that he'll never really have her.

And Wendy, she's being a bitch about the whole situation, but I feel for her as well. She doesn't really want to be with Eric. He's just a replacement because she can't get anyone better and I think she secretly hopes that someday Stan will get jealous and come around.

It's a sad couple to watch .Wendy's always been one to speak out about accepting your differences and doing what you think is right, not following the crowd just so you'll be accepted and shit like that, but deep down she's no better than any other teenager. She wants to be accepted by her peers as much as everyone else does. And Wendy Testaburger can not, not have a boyfriend. Even if that boyfriend is Eric Cartman.

Kyle sees me watching Wendy and Cartman, "hey Stan?" He asks.

"Yeah?"

"What happened that day when Kenny and I saw you with Wendy at your doorstep?"

Oh yeah, we never did find out what that was all about.

Stan brushes a few stray strains of hair from his face, "she wanted to get back together, even though I already flat out refused her before. Then she started crying over it." He shrugged. "I tired to comfort her over it, but she wasn't having any of it and ran off, you guys saw that part."

"I feel bad for her," I voice my earlier thoughts and they look at me wondrously, but I offer no further explanation.

"Yeah," Kyle goes on for me. "She is stuck with that fat fuck isn't she?"

"It was her decision, it's not like he forced her." Stan adds and we all look at each other in curiosity. Who knows, maybe Cartman did somehow force her or blackmail her. None of us would put it past him.

"Anyway," Kyle stands with his tray. "I have some extra credit to finish up with in Beard's class, so I'm taking off."

"You, extra credit?" Stan asks his eyes widening. "For what? Don't you already have like 102 percent in that class?"

"Yeah, but if I do the extra credit I'll have 110 and then I can afford to slack off a bit when finals come around. See ya guys after school." He waves and walks off, and out of the cafeteria, leaving Stan and I alone for the first time since the time we had that confrontation in my bedroom.

It's hard to imagine that we haven't been alone since, but we've been pretty good at making sure other people are in rooms with us at all times. Instead of trying to make conversation, I go back to eating the lunch that Mrs. Marsh made for me.

The rest of lunch is going to be awful awkward silence. I can already tell, but when I lift my head slightly I see Kyle behind the cafeteria doors. When he realizes he has caught my eye he gestures for me to come over. I look at Stan who's scribbling some notes while eating and stand up.

His head comes up when I do, I see his questioning look.

"I'll be right back," I tell him.

He says nothing but gives a nod of registration and returns back to his notes. Leaving my lunch and him behind I walk out the doors and look at Kyle.

"Yeah?" I ask once the doors have closed behind me and we're out of sight from the windows.

"I haven't had the chance to talk to you alone since mid-terms, dude, what's up with you and Stan? You two are like oil and water now."

I rub my neck to stall for a second of time, "nothing."

"Bullshit, I thought you two would be in each others pants by now, especially knowing your habits."

I gawk at his casual tone. This isn't the same Kyle that a few weeks ago was holding in tears. He shifts his stance as he waits for my answer.

"I,-", fuck. I sorta never wanted to tell him this, when I explain he gives me a sour look.

"I said I was okay with it Kenny."

"And I don't believe you."

He gives me an annoyed stare. "Do you like him Kenny?"

"Er…" I'm never this shy about whom I like, but it's different with Stan because it isn't about a quick fuck when I need and want one.

"Alright, questioned answered," Kyle nods with a smile.

"Never mind it, I still see you gawking at him."

"Yeah, but probably not for the reason you think. I mean, yeah Kenny, I still like him, how can I not, but, I know it'll pass. Besides, do you know what he's been doing when he goes through his backpack?"

Huh?

"His… stuff?" Is my reply.

"He needs to go through his backpack over fifty times a day? Don't think so, try and cop a look if you can."

I fold my arms, "you're acting odd."

Kyle waves his hand dismissively, "I just want things right. There's no point why all of us ought to be depressed for the rest of the year."

"Depressed!"

"I'm kidding, just kidding. I'm going to be okay because I at least have my best friend back… out of my two best friends anyway."

I give him a smile, "I don't know Kyle…"

"Kenny, where's your fuck everyone attitude when it comes to getting what you want?"

"I grew a conscious?"

Shaking his head at me Kyle grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me, "stop fucking around." He stops shaking me suddenly and I see him look up behind me. "Here's your chance."

I turn and see Stan giving us a weird look, "oh shit!" Kyle exclaims. "Beards still waiting for me, I really do have to go now."

Watching him as he sprints off, Stan walks into my view, "what was that all about, why was he shaking you like that?"

"He's lost it, why're you out here?"

"You didn't come back so I assumed you went out for a smoke or something."

"No, Kyle called me out actually. Hey," I begin when I notice his bag slipped over his shoulder. "Can I borrow a pen?"

Stan raises a brow at me but begins to open his backpack; I peer in as he digs for one, not realizing I'm looking in as well. I don't see anything out of the ordinary: notebooks, binders, random papers that have no place and some cd's but nothing more.

With more shuffling I see it. Beneath all that is a picture. The one that reminded me that I had two friends, not one. The one Butters had taken, but something's off about the picture and I see what it is at once. It's a photocopy; it isn't the original because in this one Kyle isn't in it. It's just Stan and I.

"Kenny?"

I look up startled and see Stan holding out a pen for me. I give him a confused look.

"What do I need a pen for?"

"What are you talking about? You just asked me for one!"

My eyes flicker back to the exposed picture and he follows my eyes direction, a dawning comes over his face and he reddens, tossing the pen back in.

"As if you don't see me every day," I muse.

"Yeah well…" he trails off, having nothing to stay.

I study him as he studies everything and everyone around us, but me. With things having been uncomfortable around the both of us together, I hadn't noticed until this moment how sullen he's been looking. Is that because of me?

I almost want to chastise myself for feeling a sudden apprehensive feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel almost giddy because Stan doesn't know it yet, but we are going to make something out of what we have. Something better, because I want and need him just like he needs and wants me.

I smile and just as he can sense so many of my emotions he finally stops trying to avoid my gaze and looks up and our eyes lock. He looks uncertain at my smile and just when the bell rings and a surge of students head out of the cafeteria, I make a slow grab at his free hand. He watches me and doesn't move even though we're getting jostled by the crowd.

If people are watching I don't know and I don't think he knows either. In the midst of the high school pandemonium, blurs go by us unregistered. I bring his hand up against my cheek just so I can breathe in his scent. For a football player he's got the softest hands I've ever held. I close my eyes as I take in his personal smell relishing the thought that I can be with him, that Kyle allowed it, that things are finally looking up.

To have him as someone I never want to let go of. To know that Kyle is in our corner but not stuck there, able to come out and join us, makes me think that if this is how things are going to be from now, I'll never mind routine again.

The End


AN: I half love and half hate the ending. Well, I hope everyone liked the story! Thanks everyone for reading and please give me one last review for this story, I also want you to check out my new SP story, 'The Boy who Loved Tweek Tweak.' I know it's not the most used pairing (I think I'm the first…?) but it'll have aspects like this one did. A mellow feel to it, a slice of life.

Faery Goddyss :)