My Little Mere-Maid
By Chae.Rim
Disclaimer: Nickelodeon and Viacom own Hey Arnold! Craig Bartlett created it.
Chapter I : The Ultimate Bet
Before the lottery was announced…
" HILDA!" the rumble voice of Big Bob roared.
" Criminey, Bob," Helga scolded her face as she stepped down the stairs." Get it right already. It's Helga. H-E-L-G-A. Is that so hard to remember, Bob?"
" Yeah yeah yeah," Bob answered carelessly. " Just eat your breakfast already."
" No way," Helga said utterly as she pushed away a dry plate of burned egos. " No way I'm going to eat this black … crap."
" Well, just pour some honey on it," Bob said. " It'll taste sweet then."
" Just because Miriam is going on a vacation for a month doesn't mean I'm going to have to eat this bull crap you cook every morning,' Helga folded her arms and sternly said.
" Okay, you don't have to eat it," Bob said nonchalantly as he lunged for her dish and threw it in the trashcan.
Helga stared at him recklessly when Bob began to whistle his old 80s song and took out a perfect dish inside the oven.
" What the hell?" Helga scolded.
" This summer, you're going to learn how to cook, so then no allowance. You can learn how to cook or just starve to death," Bob grinned as he enjoyed his to-be victorious moment. Victory shall be mine, Miriam! Bob thought cheerfully.
A day before…
Bob Pataki put his hand in his jacket as he walked with his wife to the gate of her departure station in the airport.
" Bob, remember I've already bought everything and put them in the fridge enough for a week, so on Sunday, you'll have to go Mr. Green to get some meat, and do some groceries shopping for the other vegetables," Miriam said.
" Jeeze, why do I have to be the one who goes to buy stuff? Why didn't you tell Helga to do these things?" Bob scolded. He hated "women-shopping".
" Because, Bob, like you, she hates shopping. No cooking skills, never have any experience with food besides eating them, I don't think it's a suitable job for her. At least you can cook a thing or two," Miriam replied.
" Why didn't you teach her how to cook? And do the things you women do?" Bob stared at her.
" Who are you kidding, Bob?" Miriam chuckled. " This is Helga, Bob, not Olga. If I could teach her, I would have. Seriously Bob, you're very funny, saying that."
" Oh yeah? I bet I can teach her," Bob blurted out in triumph. An imaginary spotlight and audience appeared in Bob's mind as he had conquered the ferocious beast how to cook was interrupted or rather banished by Miriam's piercing laughter.
" It's impossible," there was a tear in Miriam eyes because she laughed so hard. Bob tweaked aside of his eyebrow and stared at her overreactions.
Bob snorted. " Pfft, wanna bet?"
" Why not?" Miriam relaxingly said. " By the time I come back, I expect a home cook meal by Helga."
" Deal. Winner get anything they like," Bob said sarcastically as his brain began to remind himself the minor facts that made the task so impossible. It's okay, Bob. He tried to calm himself as he forced a big smile, waving goodbye to his wife. I can do it. I can conquer anything!
" What the F—" Helga furiously yelled.
" No cursing in this house, young lady," Bob interrupted in a teasing tone.
Muwhahahahaha, he closed his eyes, imagining himself again, roaring in satisfaction. Victory is mine!
He took a glance at Helga's grim darken face. Somehow, he would rather have Helga yelling, jumping up and down, or swung her arms like a fury needle ball that was about to explode up to nine layers of cloud.
Uh-oh, Bob's excitement dropped.
Helga gave him a malicious glare and stomped to her room. After closing the door tightly, Helga jumped on her bed with her face gripped tightly on the pillow and screamed. She wiggled her body on the bed like a berserk monster, trying to break free. Down stair, while Bob was worrying whether his plan could possibly be working, the ceiling rumbled softly for a minute as if it was a small minor earthquake. Bob sighed of relief and enjoyed his breakfast. That was definitely Helga, Bob smiled.
Lying on her bed, Helga darted her eyes around the old withered tiny room. She rolled herself one time to the right of her bed, and then turned to the left to her original spot. She looked at the closet and the black table; both were even older than she was, yet with many beloved memories. Helga tried to force herself to take a trip to dreamland. Another minute passed by, then another after another.
She thought of how suck this summer would be with no money and no regular meals. Scolding her face, Helga took a pillow, imagined Bob's face printed on it, and began to punch it continuously.
" I can't take this anymore!" Helga shouted. She stomped down the stair with a roll paper in her hand as if it was a knife and stride on front of Bob's face. " You devil…" Helga growled. " How can you ruin my summer like this?"
Helga screamed as she was ready to stab Bob whose eyes opened wide like fish eyes, with her paper knife. Then everything kind of turn blurry. Helga found herself lying on her bed. Ahhh, she thought. It was just a damn dream. Helga sighed deeply and wiped a line of saliva off one side of her mouth as Bob knocked down her door.
" HELGA!" Bob shouted in delight.
Helga pinched herself. Am I dreaming again? Helga thought recklessly.
" HELGA!" Bob began to laugh hysterically as he ran toward her. " YOU'RE H.P.G?"
" Uh… what?" Helga dully said as she was still in her sleep.
" You've won the five millions lottery!" Bob yelled.
That totally woke Helga up with widen eyes and jaw opened. " Can you repeat that?"
" You've won the five million dollars!" Bob grinned. " We're rich!"
" Whoa there, daddy-o. I've won it, right?"
" Yeah, and?"
" It's mine lottery ticket that won, right?"
" Yeah, and?"
" So it's mine, right?"
" Yeah? Shesh, get to the point."
" It's MINE, Bob. MINE. It's I'm rich, not 'we're rich'."
" Aw… don't be stingy Helga."
" Stingy? Well, let's see. No allowance. I have to learn how to cook or starve to death. Was that stingy?"
" Well… I –"
" Yes it was stingy, a hundred percent stingy sentence from you, Bob."
When the doorbell interrupted the conversation, Helga quickly flew downstairs with a big smile on her face as she welcomed her big new five million dollars baby. Later the same day, she quickly bought a new house, which was already modeled and prepared everything for a million dollars, though registered under Olga's name because she wasn't eighteen yet. It was quite hard, trying to look like Olga and putting on all those nasty make-up on, but it was done. With four millions dollars left, Helga luxurious sweet year left high school life was set.
Ignoring Bob's words, no matter how hard he tried to talk to her, Helga ignored all of it. She joyfully packed the stuff in her room to her new house. Bob sighed and sat dully in his bed alone, give a call to Olga who was a few hundred miles away, and waiting for her to come back.
The next thing after putting her package in a new fresh room, Helga picked up the phone and called Phoebe.
" Phoebe?" Helga said.
" Yes, Helga?" Phoebe replied.
" Guess what?"
" What?"
" Chickenbutt."
" Helga!"
" Okay, no joke this time. I've just moved."
" You did? How come you didn't tell me earlier? Where did you move to Helga? Oh my god, we didn't even say goodbye and-"
" Calm down Phoebe. I just move up the street. Can you go to my old house and get the diary I put under my bed. I forgot it. Bob will tell you the new address. Please and thank you," Helga hung up.
About fifteen minutes later while Helga humming her song and admiring her new beautiful place, Phoebe arrived at the door.
" Welcome to my new wonderful magnificent ten-thousands-times-better-than-that-old-wrecked-place brand new house," Helga grinned, raising her two fingers of the peace sign.
" Wow… Helga… I can't believe this…" Phoebe was stunned to see what was on front of her, but then she snapped back to her original self and giggled to Helga. " You must tell me everything."
The two girls settled on the sofa and began to giggle unstop for about an hour.
" So what are you planning to do with all that money left Helga?" Phoebe asked, still sound giggle-ish.
" I don't really know, Phoeb. Just live a good life, I guess?" Helga replied.
" Tell me Helga, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
" An author. I want to create tears and laughers, even out of the toughest people."
" Great, then you could use those money for publishing your books when you succeed writing one!"
" I guess… I really don't want to think about the future this moment…"
Helga sighed, so did Phoebe.
" So what do you want to do this summer Phoeb.?"
" I have to stay at home this year and baby-sit my little cousin."
" That sucks."
" Yes, how about you?"
" I don't know yet. I can do anything."
" Lucky you!"
" Why don't you come over more often Phoeb. Have fun together. Good idea, no?"
" Fantastic. It will be really fun just the two of us."
" So where's my diary?"
" Oh, I almost forgot. I don't see it under the bed. I also looked everywhere in your room, but I didn't see it anywhere."
" Hm… Strange… There is no way I could have forgotten it!"
" Maybe you put it in one of your luggages over there."
" Probably," Helga began to get frustrated. She couldn't lose that precious diary. All her dirty little secrets would be expose!
" I wonder what the others would think of you, winning that lottery, now…" Phoebe tried to change the subject and escaped that pressure tension on Helga's face. " Especially Arnold…"
" Hm…" Helga didn't say anything and slightly blushed by the flutter sound of his name.
" After all, I remembered the reason you bought that lottery ticket was because of Arnold…" Phoebe smiled widely, teasing Helga.
" Jeeze, I didn't know the security at that lottery was that strict. They thought I was a thief or a stalker, so I was forced to buy the ticket to prove my innocent."
" Well, you were dressed like a stalker," Phoebe chuckled. " I mean, who wouldn't suspect a person whowas wearing sunglasses with a blanket over her head, and especiallywearing a strange outfit from drama club. Beside, you were following Arnold from behind purposely, that could consider stalking."
" Shesh, don't remind me," Helga blushed and ran away from the conversation into the kitchen, pretending she was getting a drink.
Phoebe followed and continued talking. " Helga, I knew it, so you don't have to be embarrassed when we're discussing it."
" Yes, but I just… can't help it," Helga turned her pink face away from her friend and quickly changed the topic. " You know, I think I'll need a maid."
" A maid? How come?"
" I was never good at cleaning or doing any of those housework things, especially cooking. Beside, I have plenty of money, so why not spare myself doing those stuff?"
" Whatever you like to do Helga. So… want to go to the mall tomorrow?" Phoebe beamed.
The girls continued to chat until the conversation was forced to interrupted at the evening by the doorbell." Who is it?" Helga spoke through a device that somewhat shaped like a telephone.
" It's us, your dearest best friends," a girly voice Helga recognized spoke outside the door. Helga scolded. " Rhonda and Nadine are here."
Ugh… great… what does she want? Helga grumpy thought.
Ever since junior high, Helga never liked Rhonda. Annoying pompous spoiled rich brat was what she had always thought of Rhonda. They never could stand each other anyway. Yet, Rhonda seemed to come here with a different manner today. As strange as it was, Helga reluctantly opened the door.
" What's up, girl?" Rhonda smiled and talked in the tone as if Helga was her home girl. Helga disgusted that.
" Nothing. What do you want?" Helga gave Rhonda a flatten look.
" I was just checking on you-"
" Me or my new place?"
" Well… you, of course, my dear. Why don't we save all the chatting inside and enjoy some tea?"
" Save it for next time. I already have a guest today. Go and drink tea with some other rich snob friends of yours for today."
" Such harsh words, Helga. I'm sure you don't mean it," Rhonda lowered her voice and tried to be calm toward Helga. " I guess I'll visit tomorrow then. Mind if I bring some friends?"
" Whatever," Helga slammed the door in Rhonda's face.
" That Helga…" Rhonda growled when Helga's house was out of sight. " She never changes, does she?"
" Why do you even bother, Rhonda?" Nadine curiously asked.
" I just want to have a little fun, Nadine. You couldn't possibly think that I wanted to be nice to Helga, do you?" Rhonda vainly said with her elegant posture.
" Who was that, Helga?" Phoebe asked as she checked out the TV set.
" Rhonda, an annoying rich brat," Helga said carelessly. " And Nadine."
" I see…" Phoebe's face grew a bit pale and worrier. In movies, usually, when the character's friend got rich or somehow turned into superior, people changed accorded to their environment. Phoebe shook her head and tried to erase that thought, hoping Helga wouldn't fall in that situation.
" You okay, Phoeb?" Helga asked.
" Yeah… I'm fine," Phoebe lied.
" Can I borrow your cell phone?"
" Sure," Phoebe said, handed Helga her cell, and got back into Helga's TV set, dreamingly thinking. Wow… new techonology…
Chae.Rim: End Chapter I. To be continue…
Was that okay? Good? Better? Or worse? Leave any comment/suggestion, anything on your mind about this on your way out. Thank you for reading.
Thank you, reviewers. I'm not really an expert at grammar, so please don't mind the minor errors. I'm trying my best to improve. Especially, acosta pérez josé Ramiro, thank you for the suggestion. I really appreciated it. :)
Until next time!
