This fanfic contains no artificial flavorings.
I got a couple reviews about why I reffered ASV as 'Double G' for the beginning of the chapter. You see, in the original fanfic that I wrote at home where ASV came from, his name was Double G, and sometimes I get them confused. Gah! I'M SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I promise not to do anything amazingly stupid again! I plan to rant about that latter in the story.
Also, you may notice that no stuff here is underlined or anything. That's because I needed to write this chapter on a floppy because I wasn't at my home computer, and I am too busy with a pounding headache to fix it.
Well, the final chapters are drawing near…I really can't think of what else to say. Now it's time for my kind reviewers.
Bilbo-SamaI knew I heard that name somewhere! One of my friends is an ultra-mega Lord of the Rings Fanatic.
I actually have the card Kaibaman. I WANTED TO BURN IT! But I didn't…not even the mystical plot device?
And on another note, I'm also reading a fic called 'Kaibaman', about our favorite heartless jerk as a superhero. I really liked a fic about Ryo and Tea as a superhero team called 'The Adventures of Captain Obvious' or something like that. Wee, I'm ranting!
Thank you for being the first reviewer! YOU WIN AN IMAGINARY ELEPHANT! Enjoy the chapter!
Pointe MasterNah, I don't mind if you print it out. Of course, it may kill your computer. I know have a total of five separate files with this story on it because it got too big for FF dot net to download onto.
Who knows? This story may go on a tad longer than you expected…
Anyway, thank you for the review! Enjoy this chapter too!
RyuuActually, Seta is a physical manifestation of Seto's feminine side.
Imperfect ParadiseGood thing Serenity had the help of the Master of Putrid Youth huh? I think I would like my own 'Bunny Bashers' game installed in a local arcade. I'd burn out all my quarters on it.
Yes, while his honesty's a weakness, ASV make a formidable lawyer when it comes to charm and adorableness. But lets face it, he's much to nice to be a professional lawyer.
Peggy is going to have a stern talk with GFP…
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this next chapter! The hilarity is even rotting my tiny brain!
LoneFlyinTigersYay LFT! How is you?
Poor ASV, sometimes I worry about him. Your right! Joey didn't have any stupid lines at all last chapter! Good lord, I must be losing my grip…Jean was kind of a random character, but she had her five minutes of fame, and now they're pretty much gone.
Ah yes, the daring escape scene! Can our three lunatics save Serenity in time? And we are going to learn what horrible game Seto was in and what Serenity has to face next. I was a little shocked by the poll results too. But then again, I'm kind of not. I'm a bit of a fangirl for my characters, especially Ryo and Seto, myself…
A sequel for this is in the thought prossess, and a brand new story is on the way. Fear not! Oh, and enjoy the next chapter too. It'll make you chuckle.
LefthandedfreakTruly a more dastardly fate for our heartless friend could not be devised! LOL
Unfortunately, yes, this story shall end. It's breaking my heart too, just to make my character's lives miserable. I'll just need to make an even crazier story afterwards to fill the hole in my heart.
NOT MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL! Now you must read ShadowFire2's Yu-Gi-Oh and the Holy Grail! Seto Kaiba is the Black Night! Wow, talk about perfect casting.
Anyway, enjoy this chapter as well! I'M A LOONY TOO! By JFM!
Funky EgyptianYugi kind of need an honorable mention. He's been so neglected in this fic.
Anyway, this story is going to end a little later than you think, so don't worry. Thank you tonzies for the review!
Fuzzy BunnyAren't we all?
Nothing like good, bunny humor! I hope this chapter is too your liking too!
GothangelmyuSorry, maybe I should, but when you only have one hour to work on the computer when your parents aren't home during the summer, you're really working on a hard deadline.
The chapter title was used in place for a witty chapter title, so that's why it was called 'If I Only Had an Incredibly Funny Chapter Title' not 'If I Only Had an Incredibly Funny Chapter'. Yes I know I've done funnier! You just want to destroy my self-esteem! oO.Oo
I'm kidding, I'm kidding!
Your right, I think every character is to some extent legally insane. I think it's just the way my characters are built.
You rock too Gothangelmyu! THANK YOU!
Dark Princess Saz, Yami, Marik, Kate, Bakura, and KyoTHAT REVIEW WAS SO HILARIOUS! And it took up, like, and entire page of my review board.
I never knew Seto Kaiba's very name was cursed! Then again, if it is cursed, shouldn't I be dead by know with all the evil, torturous things I do to him? I don't think I'm afflicted by the dread curse because I support Seto more than Yami (FORGIVE ME YAMI! send apology cake), but then again, I've never talked about him in public so…MAYBE THE CURSE IS REAL!
Well the moral of this story is, for gosh sakes, DON'T TALK ABOUT SETO KAIBA WHEN YOU HAVE KNIVES IN YOUR HANDS! And boy, do you people like to scream his name at odd moments…
SETO KAIBA! (sixteen ton weight lands on her head)
Anyway, thank you for the wonderful review of chaos and fun!
Mokuba's Official GlomperMOG…this is the second week in a row I got short responses from you! oO.Oo Did I do something to make you mad?
Oh well, thank you so much for the two reviews! Enjoy this round of insanity!
Tristan'soneandonlyfangirlYay! Hi there! Did you enjoy your vacation?
The Simon Says thing was really my favorite part of that chapter, as was Double S's battle with Jean. All my characters really turned out to surprise me in the end to be honest, but that's a different story.
Thank you so much for all your reviews! THANKIE SPANKIES AND ENJOY THIS CHAPTER!
ShadowFireNow that you mention it, it's probably a good thing I haven't seen Star Wars, considering I spend enough money on Manga and imported Japanese DVDs and books as it is…
Baka lines?
Thank you so much for reviewing me again! ENJOY THE CHAPPIE!
Cute lil Yami
YAY! Hello!
Boy, I am suddenly convinced that most of the modern world loves ASV and Double S. I don't know why. They must be the ultimate good.
I don't know why, but the thought of Double S going full-blown homicidal on Jean to protect an unaware Serenity makes me feel all happy inside. Behind a cute and cuddly exterior lies A SERIAL KILLER! Product of way to many RPGs if you ask me.
Anyway, thanks for more baked goods! YAY! Enjoy this chappie too!
Mizz-Serenity-WheelerBwa ha ha! How is you?
Nothing like a hilarious trial to lighten things up! Just like Judge Judy, only much more fun!
I wish I could make plushies. If I started making Double S and ASV plushies, they'd fly off the shelves! LOL! Anyway, thank you for the nice review! INSANITY TIME!
ONTO THE CRAZINESS!
CHAPTER THIRTY TWO
If I Only Had a Pencil Missile
"So this is it…" said Serenity, standing outside a huge skyscraper with a sign saying 'The Wizard of Cuz Headquartes' with her friends. "All our pain and suffering amounts to this final moment. Are you guys ready to have your lives changed forever?"
"YEAH!" screamed Joey.
"NO!" screamed Ryo.
"Whatever," said Seto.
"Alright! Let's go!" said Serenity. "Are you coming guys?"
"Sorry, only four are allowed to see the Wizard at a time," said Mobster.
"And he's seriously overbooked with reservations! How will you ever get in?" asked ASV.
"We're just gonna have to try I guess…" said Serenity.
"Good luck guys," said Johney Roma.
"BYE SERENITY!" screamed Double S, waving violently.
"Does that kid have a you-complex or something?" asked Seto.
"I just can't wait for you to get that heart of yours," said Serenity, walking through the revolving door, as did the other three. Well, actually, Seto and Ryo made it through, Joey continued to spin around and around in it.
The receptionist desk of TWOCH was neat, almost immaculate, with absolutely nothing on it except for a few papers, all put right on top of each other without a sliver of paper peaking out from under another. There was no trace at all of individuality on it. There wasn't even a name plaque. There was only a blank, black phone, the receiver held by the receptionist.
The receptionist herself also had absolutely no trace of happiness or individuality. She wore a plain gray suit with starch white shirt underneath, a black tie, half moon glasses that were connected on a silver chain, and her silver hair tied back in a bun, without a single stray bang out of place.
"Uh huh…uh huh…uh huh…sit down would you?" she said in a hallow, bored sort of voice, pointing to a small bunch of gray, plastic chairs that stood not to far from the desk, as the three uncomfortably sat down, while Joey continued to laugh happily as he swiveled around in the revolving doorway.
"Uh huh…uh huh…uh huh…don't touch," she said to Seto, who was reaching for an old magazine, throwing a super-sharp pencil at him, which buried itself right in his hair. She threw a couple others for effect, which buried themselves in random places on his upper body.
"Yeah…no…maybe…no…no…don't touch," she said again, this time to Ryo, who was trying to pick up one pencil that fell on the floor, and so the receptionist pulled out her convient carrying pencil catapult and shot fifty pencils at ninety miles per hour at random places on Ryo's upper body, as Seto was trying to dig the pencils that were fired at him out of his skin.
"Nine…yes I'm sure…he said what? Okay…yes…yes I'll tell him-stop being an idiot," said the receptionist, pulling out a bazooka and firing many pencils at once at lightning speed all over the area where Joey was still swiveling around in the revolving door, causing spidering cracks in all the glass around him, a couple pencils making it through and burying themselves in various spots on his head.
"Um…I hate to interrupt," said Serenity, walking up to the desk, "but I think it's kind of rude to try to maim people with pen-"
"On the phone," said the receptionist, stabbing Serenity in the stomach with a pencil. Thankfully, it buried itself in her clothes, and not in her skin.
"Huddle up!" said Serenity to the other three, as Ryo dutifully walked over to the revolving door and pulled Joey out, dragging him over to the other two. With that, all four got in a football-style huddle up.
"Okay, it's obvious that it is impossible that this receptionist will get off the phone long enough to talk to us," said Serenity. "Do any of you have any ideas of what we can do to try to get to the Wizard?"
"Let's try to make Ryo cry, and she'll be so awed by his disgustingly pathetic cuteness that she'll let us by," said Seto.
"It's a sad idea, but maybe it can work," said Serenity. "Okay. Ryo, think of the saddest moment of your entire life."
"Oh man, there have been so many, like when my mom and sister died, and my pet turtle Skippy ran away from home, and when my cat Jingles ran away from home, and my goldfish Claudious J. S. Fonleroy the Third ran away from home, and the day my little sister died, and that one time in Charm School when I accidentally stepped on a POOR, INNOCENT ANT (A/N Ryo went to Charm School?), and that other time when I was learning how to drive, I ran over ANOTHER ANT! MY LIFE IS FULL OF NOTHING BUT DEATH AND HAVING TRUSTED ANIMAL COMPANIONS RUN AWAY! And don't get me started about-"
Seto socked him.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ryo started to sob.
"Stop trying to use a pathetic man to distract me," said the receptionist, pushing a red button on a hand-held controller, causing a space station to shoot a pencil loaded missile at the reception office, giving our heroes only ten minutes to escape before it hit the reception office.
"I have another idea," said Serenity. "Let's just go."
"Okay," the other three said simultaneously, as all four ran out of the reception room and down the hall, as the pencil missile landed in the reception room and exploded, causing the entire room to become a smoldering crater with pencils skewered everywhere.
---ooo---
Our heroes soon found out that maybe going down the big scary hallway to the office of the Wizard of Cuz was not a good idea, because it was very dark, extra big, and extra long with the sheer purpose of freaking out the person who walked down it. And it was doing a very good job on Ryo.
"C-can we go back now?" he asked, his eyes glued to the floor.
"Ryo, you've been in this story for almost twenty seven chapters now," said Serenity. "Do you really want to turn back now? After all we've been through? After all we've learned? After the triumphs, the defeat, the laughter, the tears, the irony, the humor?"
"YES!" screamed Ryo.
"Ryo…" said Serenity.
"Just think of happy stuff!" said Joey. "Like blood! And guts! And spiraling pain that makes you beg for your own death just to escape the mind clouding delusion of ultimate suffering!"
Ryo looked bug eyed.
"Joey Wheeler, master of valuable advice…" said Seto, but there was not time for sarcasm. Now our heroes found themselves outside a huge double door that was at least twenty feet tall and made out of pure rhinestone, except for the door knockers, which were quartz. For about thirty seconds, the four just stood there, staring at the door.
"Are we going to open the stupid thing or what?" asked Seto.
"Dramatic moment ruiner," said Serenity, reaching for the doorhandle. However, the second she barely touched it, both doors opened by themselves, opening into a huge room that was completely made out of rhinestone. But the scariest of all was the fact that there was a huge, floating head in the middle of it that was at least six feet tall, hovering six feet in the air, aided by huge spurts of fire from the sides for pure dramatic effect.
"I AM CUZ, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE!" said the floating head, with a large spurt of fire from crystallized chamber flamethrower things that spurted fire whenever he made an angry comment.
"SWEET! I'm Joey Wheeler, and I gots no brain!" said Joey.
"SILENCE MORTAL PIG!" screamed the floating head. "I already know your names! Joey the Brainless Bone Head, Seto the Heartless Lunatic, Ryo the Courageless Foob, Ms. Fuzzy-Kins the Plush Toy, and Serenity…the Serenity!"
"W-well that s-saves us needing to introduce o-ourselves…" said Ryo, trying to lighten the mood, and failing miserably.
"SILENCE!" screamed the floating head, as Ryo screamed when an extra bolt of fire shot in front of him. "You, the one that looks like a monkey. Come forward!"
Joey nodded to Seto.
"He's talking to you, sponge brain," said Seto, shoving him up to the floating head across the slippery, rhinestone floor.
"Joey Wheeler you bumbling, bickering, ranting, pathetic excuse for a pig dog!" said the floating head. "It has been rumored far and wide that you have a head emptier than a supermodels personal library, the wit and sophistication of a rock, and as much basic common sense as a newborn cat! How do you feel about that?"
"I LIKE PUMPKINS!" screamed Joey, as a huge fireball came down out of nowhere, barbequing Joey and turning him into a black, smoldering heap.
"Wow, that was fun," said barbequed Joey.
"SILENCE!" screamed the floating head, as Joey happily skipped back to the others. "You, the skinny one-"
"THERE GOES THE SKINNY CARD AGAIN!" said Seto.
"-come forward!" said the floating head.
"Make me!" Seto said, and where he stood, he got barbequed by a fireball too.
"And you, the scardy-cat," said the floating head.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ryo said, running around in circles in a panic, as another fireball was about to be shot-
"STOP IT ALREADY!" said Serenity, getting in front of Ryo. "Jeez! This is getting out of hand. All we want is a brain, a heart, some guts, and a one way ticket back to my mom's, as well as out of these platforms! And we traveled all over the place to get here, so can we please just have our stuff and leave?"
"Well…" said the floating head thoughtfully. "You did bring a lot of tourists to the area…alright! I shall grant you your wish!"
"Yay!" said all four.
"ON ONE CONDITION!" said the floating head. "You must bring me…THE HEAD OF PEGASUS THE NOT-NICE WITCH OF THE WEST!"
Everyone gasped.
"Ew, gross!" said Serenity.
"Okay okay, uh…bring me…I dunno, something from him…" said the floating head. "If you do this, I shall grant you your wishes."
"But we'll get totally killed!" said Serenity.
"Well duh, do you think I just give out body parts for nothing these days?" asked the floating head. "Now go and defeat the Not-Nice Witch of the West!"
"Couldn't we just have a little bit of stuff upfront?" asked Ryo.
"GET OUT!" screamed the floating head, with huge spurts of fire everywhere, as our heroes ran out of the room screaming.
---ooo---
"Oooh, this is just too good!" said Pegasus, looking through his crystal ball of our heroes walking up a long path to his house while brushing his super long hair. "They're coming up to challenge me! Isn't this too perfect?"
"Uh…yeah…" said General Fluffa-Pie, still having horrible memories of the game of Bunny Bashers: Fuzz Attack he and Serenity played. He really hadn't been able to show his face since.
"General Fluffa-Pie, I am giving you one last chance to redeem yourself," said Pegasus. "I want you and your hoard to capture the real Serenity Wheeler, and bring her to me alive. Not the monkey, not the twig boy, not the British baka. The girl. Understand?"
"Yes sir," said General Fluffa-Pie.
"Well, what the heck are you waiting for?" asked Pegasus. "FLY MY PRETTY! FLY! FLY! FLY! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Pegasus was laughing insanely, as General Fluffa-Pie just stared at him.
"You are freaking me out," said the General, flying out the window.
---ooo---
"Alright, it seems that we're going the right way," said Serenity, looking at a wooden sign nailed to a tree that said 'safety and happiness' where they came from and 'Pegasus's Castle, as well as sure death' on where they were going. "Don't worry guys, it'll all be over soon!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Ryo, trying to run back, being grabbed at the back of the sweater by Seto.
"Oh please, we're dealing with a white haired weirdo with a bad accent and a sick fixation with fuzzy, white bunnies!" said Serenity. "What's the worst that can happen?"
"But he beat the crud out of Seto! AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THAT AS A REALLY BAD THING?" screamed Ryo in fear.
"Come on Ryo, you have to keep in your mind that he's just a man, just like all the rest of us," said Serenity. "It's not like he has anything that we don't have."
"One, he's Pegasus the Not-Nice Witch of the West, and two, we are not men, we are all fictional teenagers," said Ryo.
The other three just stared at him.
"You look funny!" Joey said, pointing to Ryo.
"I agree with Joey," said Serenity. "No matter what horrible or dire threat we face, or how inferior the world sees us in comparison with our opponent, we can't second-guess ourselves now! We put way too much of ourselves into this mission to throw it away now!"
"Cookies?" asked Joey.
Note to Self: DO NOT take part in Shri's next fanfic. Avoid at all costs wrote Seto down on his notepad that he kept around to make serious mental notes.
"Stupid 'I have no courage' thing…" said Ryo. "Hey, what's that noise?"
"Sorry…" said Joey.
"No, the noise that sounds eerily like a huge flock of flying, fuzzy bunnies coming straight this way in drones…" said Ryo, as a small white cloud of flying, fuzzy bunnies drew near.
"Oh please, I kicked their butts last chapter, how bad can they be?" said Serenity.
"OH MY GOD!" screamed Joey. "THEY'RE ARMED WITH SOFT DOWN PILLOWS AND GLITTER!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed the other three, as the bunnies started to swoop down and-
---ooo---
Shri: Hello everyone, once again, this story has been paused. You of course know that I am the psychotic authoress, better known for being Thor's Hammer in last weeks county play 'A Norse is a Norse, of Course, of Course'. But enough about me. The following is a public service announcement. I will now turn over this interruption to Muriel P. Q. Tipsytogles, founder and president of the Society of Protection of Cruelty to OCs, more commonly known as SPCOC.
Muriel: Hello. We of the SPCOC feel that is necessary to notify the public of the following scene being of a highly unkind nature to 'Original Characters'. It contains of scenes of a bunch of OCs, this time flying, fuzzy bunnies, getting their butts kicked by a girl, an idiot, a stick figure, and a foob. While this is presented for humorous purposes, acts of violence against real OCs are both criminal and moral felonies. No actual OCs were harmed in the making of the following…well okay, one or two, but that gives the public no right to imitate this scene. If you or someone you love or someone you hate or someone you're acquainted with or someone who you show mutual respect for has abused characters that aren't part of any trade mark to date, please call-
Shri: I don't like your tone.
Muriel: What?
(Shri bonks Muriel on the head with an oar)
Shri: Un-pause the chapter please!
---ooo---
-so began the battle between our mix matched heroes and the flying, fuzzy bunnies! The fuzzy bunnies were armed to the tooth which such unorthodox battling items as jars of glitter, soft down pillows, assorted plushies, and bowls of fruit salad. Thus the average mind would deduce that since our heroes have defeated homicidal maniacs, pirates, evil villains, and many an extremely scary beast, naturally these fuzzy bunnies will get their butts kicked. However, since when has this fic ever made sense?
"OH MY GOD! THAT PILLOW HAS CORNERS!" Seto screamed, as he got pummeled by the extra soft down pillows wielded by no less than four flying, fuzzy bunnies
"NO! NOT THE GLITTER IN THE HAIR! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" cried Ryo in agony as the bunnies doused his white hair with massive amounts of rainbow colored glitter.
"NO! HEALTH FOOOOOOOOOD!" Joey screamed in terror as he was forced to be seated in a comfy chair in front of a lovely, candle lit table covered in a table cloth made of fine, authentic Victorian textile, with a bowl of nice fruit salad placed on the table in front of him.
"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW-" said Serenity as various plush toys were fired from a plushie cannon. Ms. Fuzzy-Kins was dealt a horrible blow by a plush zebra, knocking her out and making her unable to conjure her wicked-awesome force field thing. Before she had a chance to run, Serenity was then engulfed in a huge net made of extremely comfortable elastic nylon bands. While she was temporarily stunned by the impact of the cuddly, adorable plush toys, seven score of flying, fuzzy bunnies then grouped together to lift the net off the ground to the dark and incredibly ominous castle up on top of a really pointy mountain. Since the boys were much too busy getting their sorry behinds kicked by a bunch of medium sized mutant woodland animals, they were much too distracted to save Serenity.
Well, that's kind of a good thing isn't it, because how would this story be able to move along without that?
---ooo---
"For the last time, let go of me you stupid, fuzzy bunnies!" said Serenity angrily as she was dragged through a window of a high tower in the castle, fitting the usual cliché, and was roughly thrown to the ground in a very odd room, filled with all sorts of twirling gismos that made weird but highly amusing noises, as well as several paintings on the wall, also with all kinds of weird bookshelves with odd items such as disembodied hands, cursed soap bars, yatta yatta, lit by a bunch of odd looking lamps in the shape of barn animals. Hey, I told you this room was weird.
"Well, isn't this a surprise!" said Pegasus happily, sitting on a huge red sofa in front of the place where Serenity was tossed on the floor, as she was trying to fight through the net around her. "Hello Serenity-Girl! (A/N It just doesn't sound as cool as 'Yugi-Boy' or 'Kaiba-Boy' does it?) I'm glad we finally get to see each other face to face!"
"And you should also be glad that I'm partially tied up!" said Serenity threateningly.
"Now now, none of that," said Pegasus. "All I want, my dear girl, is those Ruby Platform Straps. Is that so much to ask?"
"One, what would a guy want with platforms, two, Mai the Good Witch of the North, Northeast told me not to give them to you, and three, you acted like an idiot, ambushed my friends, beat the holy crud out of Seto, created an extreme drama chapter, had your bunny friend kidnap Joey, and you expect me to just hand them over to you?" asked Serenity.
Silence, while Serenity tried to get out of the net.
"Please?" asked Pegasus.
"NO!" Serenity shot back angrily, finally making her way out of the net.
"Well that's okay, considering the only way you can take them off is if you're dead…or too insane to know the difference," said Pegasus
"Oh…kay…" said Serenity.
"So I guess I could just kill you right know and take them," said Pegasus casually. "I was wondering if I would ever get a chance to try out that Executioner Boxed set I bought at Target. It's really cute, it gives you a mask and everything."
"Yeah, that's nice," said Serenity, walking toward the door. "You know what? I think I'll just leave."
"Or we could just put you for ten years in a torture pit of pain and spiraling misery until you are so completely of the key mad that you have no idea that you're even alive," said Pegasus, suddenly appearing in front of the doorway Serenity was just about to exit.
"I'm really not liking my options here," said Serenity.
"Okay, if you want to get all 'moral' on me, then fine, we'll make it quick and clean," said Pegasus, pulling out a huge 'Funny Rabbit' hourglass. "You got until this hourglass runs out, then I get to kill you off quick and clean. Okay?"
"I'd rather just leave," said Serenity.
"Great!" said Pegasus. "I'll bar the door just in case! See you in a bit!"
With that, he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. Serenity just stood there for a second.
"I knew I should have ran," she said, walking up to the open window, carrying Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, tossing her out of it. "MS. FUZZY-KINS! GET HELP!"
---ooo---
"So I think all of the problems started when I agreed to be Seto's conscience," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins on a huge, red psychiatrists chair as a Freud-Looking man was making notes on a notepad. "I mean, I had that little pang inside me that was telling me it was a bad idea, but I kind of ignored it. I mean, come on, he's only human right?"
---ooo---
"Not THAT help!" said Serenity, still calling out the huge window. "Stop playing on words and go find the others!"
---ooo---
"No more sparkles…please, no more sparkles…" said Ryo pathetically, lying on the ground and hyperventilating.
"Stop crying Ryo…it's over…" said Seto, managing to shove his arm back into it's socket after a very sad pummeling from a pillow. "Hey, where's Serenity?"
"Carried off by the bunnies!" said Joey.
"WHAT?" screamed Ryo and Seto.
"This is terrible!" Ryo said. "What are we going to do? SHE'LL BE KILLED! OH THE HORROR! THE HORROR! SOMEBODY HOLD ME!"
The other two looked at Ryo as if he was insane.
"LET'S SAVE SERENITY!" said Joey. "HANG ON SERENITY! HAIM COMMIN!"
"I g-guess I'll h-have to go too…" said Ryo in a panic, walking toward Joey while shaking so hard it looked like he was going to fall over. "C-coming S-Seto?"
Seto held up a huge sign that said 'NO'.
"If you don't, you're conscience will make you drown in your own guilt…" said Ryo in a cheerful, after school special kind of voice. Seto then turned over the sign that said 'I don't care you girly twit, go play with the stupid, the answer is and will always be NO'.
That's when out of nowhere, Ms. Fuzzy-Kins slammed into Seto's head at ninety miles per hour, knocking him instantly to the ground, making him even more irritated that he already was after having his butt irrationally kicked by a bunch of cuddly flying animals.
"WHAT THE HECK CAN YOU POSSIBLY DO TO ANNOY ME EVEN MORE YOU STUPID FABRICATED TOY?" he screamed at Ms. Fuzzy-Kins at the top of his lungs.
"Oh thank God I hit you Seto!" said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins. "Listen, Serenity's trapped at Pegasus's castle in a really high tower thing, and she's officially only got one hour to live before Pegasus comes and kills her! We need you and the others to go save her!"
"Are you out of your mind?" Seto yelled back, both Ryo and Joey looking on in fear of why Seto was having an argument with a plush toy, both convinced that he finally snapped. "We can't go back! One, Serenity can take care of herself, and two, if you haven't noticed, Ryo's in a state of near respiratory arrest, Joey is still suffering from being empty minded, AND I JUST SCREWED MY ARM BACK INTO IT'S SOCKET!"
"Seto, this is no time to be oblivious to ethics!" said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins. "You've got to kick your skinny butt in gear, and get her, or else this story will have to go up to T! And if it does…you'll have a permanent place on my bad side…"
"Make me," said Seto challengingly, Ryo and Joey still looking on in horror.
"Don't…tempt…me…" said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, her body starting to pulse with massive amounts of mind-blowing telekinetic power. Seto promptly stuck his tongue out at her.
"I knew you wouldn't do it," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, Ryo, and Joey similtaniously.
And so, the stubbornness side of Seto's personality kicked in, fueled by the fact that his own conscience, plus two lunatics was following the pre-laid stereotype. Or was it?
"My…God…I…hate you…" said Seto angrily to Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, losing once again to his conscience, then turning to Ryo and Joey , pulsing with self-loathing. "I'LL GO ALONG, OKAY? STUPID IDIOTS! STUPID 'PLANT MORAL THOUGHT IN YOUR HEAD' PLUSHIE CAT!"
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…" Ryo and Joey said, both sweat dropping.
---ooo---
"It seems that this is some sick, unethical training class of torture…" said Joey, as the four loons (Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, Joey, Seto, Ryo) all peered over a wall of rock, spying in on a bunch of bunnies all lined up training.
"They're watching 'My Fat Greek Wedding' you simp," said Seto as the bunnies all were sitting around a TV and watching a movie while munching popcorn.
"Okay, do you all have your bunny suits on?" said Ryo happily, already in his, making him look more pathetically adorable than he already was.
"Yay, I'm a lifeguard!" said Joey, happily in his bunny suit, which was both a very hilarious and very painful sight to see. "Sweet! My butt itches…"
"NO!" said Seto angrily, his bunny suit unused as he sat next to Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, who had hers on.
"Seto come on, you agreed…" said Ryo.
"There was never going any mention that I would get landed in a bunny suit Ryo!" he yelled angrily, pulling out a lighter. "IT SHALL BURN!"
---ooo---
"La de da de da, we're just hopping into the castle, la de dah de do…" said Joey happily, hopping by in his bunny suit to the castle past the uncaring bunnies who were watching the movie. "I'M AN FOOT! I mean, a bunny, a cuddly, BUTSIE, bunny!"
"Tee tum bum, nothing to worry about at all…dee do da, we're just going inside for…no reason, tee tum ba," said Ryo, also hopping by. "No reason to wonder why we're nearly six feet tall each…no reason at all…"
"Yeah, and I'm just a bunny…disguised as Seto Kaiba…with bunny ears…" said Seto with bunny ears (they met halfway on the suit thing), walking by with Ms. Fuzzy-Kins in a bunny suit. "If anyone mentions this, they shall die. Diiiiiiiiiii-eyyyeee…"
There was silence.
"Did you hear something?" asked one bunny.
"No," said another.
---ooo---
"Okay, we made it!" said Ryo, happily unzipping his costume and throwing off the bunny suit, as did everyone else, except Joey, who was sucking on his paw. "Now all we need to do is find Serenity!"
"I'm in here!" said Serenity, in the door right next to them. "Guys, I'm running out of time! When the hourglass runs out, Pegasus is going to come and kill me!"
"Must…use…head…as…pickaxe!" screamed Joey, slamming his head repeatedly into the thick wood door, making a few marks, but most being ineffective.
"You idiot!" Seto screamed, pulling him back by the shirt collar. "You can kill yourself later. Right know we need to-"
"EE-YAH!"
BANG!
Ryo just preformed a wicked awesome karate move that looked like a mid air kick that he used to saw the entire door vertically in half, until it fell apart in two pieces, leaving Serenity just staring at him.
Everyone gave Ryo a funny look.
"What?" he asked.
"JOEY! SETO! RYO! YOU SAVED ME!" Serenity cried with joy. "Now that's weird…usually it's the other way around…"
"YAY SERENITY!" Joey said, hugging her. That's when a bunch of spears held by a whole army of flying, fuzzy bunnies, all pointed right in the fours direction out of nowhere.
"SWEET! ANCHOVIES!" yelled Joey.
"Perfect…" said Serenity.
"Well, hello all!" said Pegasus, walking through a gap that the bunnies separated to let him through. "I'm glad my little bluff worked and you could all come to the fantastic games to be held!"
"What, that was a bluff?" asked Serenity. "You liar!"
"Oh I can't kill you, this story's PG," said Pegasus. "I figured if I just exposed you to enough Tom Jones music, those babies would pop right off!"
"Sicko…" said Seto.
"But I am a man of sport," said Pegasus. "So I wish to play a game with you. If I win, than you have to hand over those platforms, and control of all of Cuz, directly to me…"
"Fine," said Serenity. "But if I win, you have to give back Seto's brother, let us all go, promise not to be bad again, and an item of personal possession!"
"You strive a hard bargain…I accept!" said Pegasus. "Now it's time to start the three day tournament…of the dark game…of…DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!"
DUN DUN DUN!
---ooo---
Alright, it's almost update time for me, so it's time for the closing rant. Now it's time for me to rant about Joey and Seto.
JoeyWhere to begin? I suppose when I thought him up, I wanted there to be some realism in his personality. I really tried to bring some deep meaning to his struggle, but in the end…it really didn't work.
I think Joey is both the character that makes me happy and sad at the same time. I'm happy because I somehow managed to make him do things of increasing stupidity as time went on, and I thought I was going to run out of good ideas for stupid things for him to do halfway through the story. But he turned out to be pretty funny all the way through. On the other hand, that fact that he's really a one-sided character disappoints me somehow.
But there's one thing that I'm proud of about his personality…he's devastatingly loyal to Serenity. I think that fact that he clings to Serenity, the person who really watches out for him in this fic, really brings something a little deeper to Joey. Maybe…I don't know.
Looking for a brain, oddly, is the quest that I think people can relate the most too. However, it seems that ultimately, being the smart one causes more misery than being the stupid one. I feel sometimes I really do know too much. But I would never forgive myself is I made Joey any less funny than he is. He's always managed to lighten my mood, no matter what.
SetoIf Seto was a character in Neverwinter Nights, he would be without a doubt a 'True Neutral'. I could rant about him forever, so I'll try to keep it short.
As a writer, I'm really proud of everything I did to make him who he is. He sarcastic personality partnered with his bad karma makes him such an easy character to write in a humor story. I always liked him as a character no matter what, so I think he turned out to be such a good character, because I had to do a lot of thinking to get the jist of his personality. And sometimes I still don't get it. I also put traits of a lot of people I know, and ultimately the heartless piece of myself, so there's a lot behind him.
Someone once described him as 'an idiot, not in the intelligence department, but in common sense'. I couldn't agree more. He is absolutely oblivious to common sense, as well as human kindness, and while probably the smartest person alive that I've written about so far, the direct contrast in his wisdom is so overwhelming, it's hilarious.
One things for sure, I had no idea how amazing dynamic and flexible he could be for any type of humor, dry, wit, satire, irony, anything. There are very structured rules for what the others can and cant do. Seto? Nah, those went away a long time ago…
PREMIERE: The deadly three day game of Dance Dance Revolution draws near, and Serenity has never played a single game in her life! But when Mai shows up, determined to help her win, it seems now that everyone is coming to see her fight! Can Ryo's rigorous training be enough to get her DDR smart? Will Mai's Mad Makeover kill her? And worst of all…CAN SETO STOP JOEY AND RYO FROM ACTING LIKE IDIOTS IN MAI'S ROOM? Find out on the next exciting chapter of 'The Wizard of Cuz'!Well, that's all for know! Remember, eat your insanity every day!
