Here I come to save the daaaaaay!

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS MINOR CROSS DRESSING!

And remember, after the chapter, got to Kokoro no Naka dot com and sign up for IFFEBT (Intelligent Fans For Ethical Bakura Treatment). RYO NEEDS HUGS NOT HURTS! Also, it's a great site. And become a member of FGACB (Fan Girls/Guys Against Character Bashing). DON'T BASH YU-GI-OH CHARACTERS! THEY DESERVE OUR LOVE AND RESPECT!

And another things, lately I've been having all these weird dreams that I'm cast in a play as The Wicked Witch of the West in some random presentation of 'The Wizard of Oz', and It's always tomorrow and I forgot my lines. What's weird is that I wake up, and I seriously think for a while that there's a play tomorrow I'm in. And it's happened twice in a row! I'm either having Drama Club Withdrawl or this story's finally getting to me ..

Just so you know, like Serenity, I have never played a game of 'Dance Dance Revolution' in my life (I don't have a PS2), and I know that eventually some of my friends are going to invite me over to their houses just to play. So bear with me okay? It's safe to say that I have no real clue what I'm doing. Well, actually I do. I pretty much know how you play and stuff. Okay…four more chapters until the end…WAAAAAAH!

Review time!

Bilbo-Sama

NOT HORRIFYING DUB NAMES! (Gasps) What did they name Asuka? SUSIE? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Chazz? What mother in their right mind would name a kid CHAZZ? Or CHUMELY? WHAT ARE THESE DUBBERS THINKING?

I'm glad you like the elephant! Of course, you're the first to review again, so this time…YOU GET A DIRE TIGER STRAIGHT OFF OF NEVERWINTER NIGHTS! (Cackles) Hey, it'll take care of your elephant problem!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FUN REVIEW! Enjoy the chappie!

Funky Egyptian

How indeed?

Joey's stupidity really does scare me at times. His attention span is, like, nil. And Seto always scares me…

Thanks for the nice review! I hope this chapter strikes you as just as cruel and unusual!

Imperfect Paradise

Hi there! Yep, when have I ever not been insane? Seriously. Though Pegasus is a bit of a loony himself.

DDR seemed very appropriate for what horrors that Serenity and the others are in store for. It's random, it's crazy, and potential injuries are involved. My kind of plot device!

Anyway, ENJOY THE CHAPPIE!

ShadowFire2

'Run Forest Run', 'Run Luke Run', am I starting to see a connection here?

Awesome! I'm glad your so DDR smart! I'm not…hee hee, more scaryness is coming up next, so be prepared! THANK YOU AND ENJOY!

Tristan'soneandonlyfangirl

I'm glad someone finally caught that. That's always been something I wanted to do in a fanfic, make someone trapped in a revolving door.

You know, the more I write this story, the more I realize that no matter what sick thoughts my twisted mind thinks up, somewhere, there's a piece of fan art that scarier. I once drew ASV, Double S, and Mobster in bunny ears for Easter…they'd probably kill me for it in real life.

DAY ONE OF THE DDR TOURNAMENT! Enjoy!

Mizz-Serenity-Wheeler

Joey really has no brain. I've said it, everyone in the story has said it, readers have said it, but really, he has no brain.

I hope I can do the DDR tournament alright…I may have had to alter the rules a bit for my own writing needs. Well, if you still want a dose of insanity, I'll be starting another long-running story right after this one is over.

I really hope you like this next chapter! THANKS AGAIN MIZZ-SERENITY-WHEELER!

Mokuba's Official Glomper

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

Hahahaha! RYO GETTING STABBED BY JOEY, WHO THINKS HE'S MAKING HIM FEEL BETTER! THE ATTACK OF THE KILLER DUBBER BOX! MARIK! SO HILARIOUS!

Thank you so much for the long, fun review! IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY! (Gives lotsa candy) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Enjoy this chappie too!

Princess Mika of the Shadows (Formally known as Dark Princess Saz), Natzo, Kyo, Tohru, and Marik

Thank you for the bandage Yami…(puts on head) hey, Lefthandedfreak is investigating further into the curse of Seto Kaiba, maybe we should try to find a cure for it! I wonder if that's possible, and if it involves berserk ritual things…

And no fun with your dad quoting your writing T.T I would probably have a heart attack if that happened at the dinner table. It's scary enough when my parents quote Monty Python…

WOOT! Plastic flamingos! Thank you for the super nice review!

Lefthandedfreak, and her good friend, Josh the Figment Man

Josh, you deserve credit too…

I can see your reasons for wanting to get kidnapped by Pegsy. You know, even with cheep special effects, I'd love to see the story tapped! I feel so flattered :D.

Does the curse exist? I've said Seto's name, but reffering to Alister's stash of plans to kill him, and I come out relatively unharmed, save for the weird, Wizard of Oz based dreams (see pre-review rant). Alister also wants to kill 'The stupid Auzie' (what my brother and I think he calls Valon). I could probably write a scary Doom Biker Story.

Anyway, thanks for the review! Henjoy!

Fuzzy Bunny

I'd hug either of them! Of course, if I did, there would probably be consequences for both…

If Shri Held Ryo…

Priest: I know pronounce you Fictional Character and Wife. You may kiss the bride.

If Shri Held Seto…

Little Brother: (Finding Body) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SHE'S DEAD!

Uh…anyway, thank you for the review! I just want his trenchcoat, but now that I think about it, with all the trouble I get into, the ability to hide behind fence posts could be really helpful. Anway, thanks again!

Serenity-Yugioh-fan05

Thanks! Hope you like the next one!

Onto the craziness!

CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

If I Only Had Cross Dressing

"Um…what?" Serenity asked, confused at what Pegasus just said.

"Dance Dance Revolution!" said Pegasus proudly. "You know, music, arrows, big stagy thing…"

"Uh…" Serenity said.

"Yes, it is outlandishly terrible, isn't it?" asked Pegasus.

"I'VE NEVER PLAYED A GAME OF DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION IN MY LIFE!" Serenity screamed at the top of her lungs in panic, not knowing that all of her friend's fates were staked on a game she never played before.

"Can we have a day to train her?" asked Ryo cheerfully.

"Yeah, whatever," said Pegasus, obviously very confident in his abilities, as he looked at his nails, wondering if he was due for a manicure. "I will provide your room and board for the three days, plus one day of training, for the tournament. General Fluffa-Pie will show you to your rooms. As for the rest of you…I don't know, go wash something."

And so as General Fluffa-Paw waved a paw, beckoning them to follow him, all the other bunnies pulled out sponges and other cleaning supplies and began scrubbing everything in sight, including each other.

---ooo---

"How am I supposed to get DDR smart in only one day?" asked Serenity to the guys as they followed General Fluffa-Pie down the ancient hallways of the castle, filled with armor and more of those painted pictures, to their rooms. "I don't know anything about the game at all!"

"Hey Serenity, don't worry!" said Ryo happily. "For years, I have trained diligently with the DDR Monks of a local hilltop outside of Cornwall! I have mastered the art of Dance Dance Revolution on all physical, mental, and spiritual levels!"

"Wait, they have DDR Monks?" asked Seto.

"It's a very obscure practice, don't get me wrong," said Ryo.

"Only you Ryo…only you…" said Seto.

That's when Joey began sucking on his entire hand.

"Never mind…" said Seto.

"Anyway, are you sure that you can train me in time?" asked Serenity. "I mean, you said that you spent years with your freaky monk things…"

"Come on! It's just a game!" said Ryo. "By the time I'm done with you, you'll be a pro! You've got a healthy body, a good mind, reflexes, and you're two own DDR slaves!"

"My God, he has better not be talking about us…" said Seto angrily, as Joey was now trying to fit his entire arm in his mouth.

"Don't worry Serenity!" said Ryo. "It's high time I play a useful role in this fanfic!"

"That would be a first," said Seto, as Joey was now trying to jam in his shoulder bone, and Serenity was pleasantly surprised to see that, once General Fluffa-Pie showed them, they all had their own room, for the very first time in this story.

---ooo---

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Serenity screamed, standing bolt upright in pure fright in response to the huge air horn that was fired right next to her ear while in bed, her hair sticking up on end. As her bugged out eyes ran over the entire room at one hundred miles per hour, she soon found that the person who was holding the air horn turned out to be…

"RYO!" she yelled angrily. "WHY THE HECK DID YOU USE AN AIR HORN? AT FIVE THRITY AM? RIGHT NEXT TO MY EAR?"

"It's part of the training!" said Ryo. "The DDR Monks are very strict with the time people get up in the morning! I was nice and let you sleep in!"

"Sleep in?" Serenity said angrily (she's not a morning person). "LARKS AREN'T OUT AT THIS HOUR!"

"Hey, do you want to kick Peggy's butt or not?" asked Ryo. "I'm just glad you took getting up at five thirty better than Seto did."

"How did he take it?" asked Serenity in a croaky kind of voice, rubbing her eyes. That's when Ryo pointed to a huge, flaming crater in the middle of the hallway. Serenity didn't say another word.

"Come on then, let's go outside!" said Ryo.

---ooo---

"Ah…what a perfect morning for training!" Ryo said happily as the sun rose behind him, and Serenity, Joey, and Seto looked like zombies. In fact, Joey fell asleep on Seto just after Ryo said that sentence.

"It is technically morning, isn't it?" said Seto grogilly, not hesitating to grab Joey and throwing him off him, at fifty miles per hour at least, to nearly two hundred yards away.

"Okay, now we're going to start off by meditating," said Ryo, happily getting down in the grass in a cross-legged Yoga position, closing his eyes with a happy smile on his face.

"Sitting down quietly thinking…yeah, I can handle that," said Serenity, imitating his position, and closing her eyes as well.

"Okay, now I want you to imagine yourself in a box," said Ryo. "On each face of the box, very slowly, a random arrow shall scroll up the surface of the box."

"Okay…" Serenity said, picturing such in her head.

"Now, when a new arrow appears on the screen, I want you to think of the direction the arrow wants you to go, and turn in that direction in that imaginary box whenever a new arrow appears. Okay?"

"Okay…" said Serenity, also imagining it.

"Now if a pair of arrows appear, I want you to go in one direction, and then the other…alright?" said Ryo.

"Yeah…" said Serenity, looking much more relaxed in the Yoga position. "Yeah…you know Ryo, I think…I think I really am doing okay…"

"Good, have you gotten yourself into a rhythm?" asked Ryo.

"Yeah…I have!" Serenity said confidently.

"Good, now we're going to make this a little more real," said Ryo.

"How?" asked Serenity, with her eyes still closed.

"By putting you right next to pounding techno music and beating you with a baseball bat to simulate stress!" said Ryo, as a huge stereo behind Serenity started pounding some German Techno-Rock, and Ryo started smashing Serenity on the back with a wooden baseball bat. "Now come on Serenity! Stay with the rhythm! STAY WITH THE RHYTHIM!"

"I'm going to get something to eat," said Seto, as chaos generally ruled on the training ground.

"WOOT! FOOD!" Joey said, happily bouncing after Seto.

---ooo---

"Okay Serenity, now this is a lesson in reflexes," said Ryo, as Serenity was covered in band-aides, as Joey was happily munching on ten boxes of donuts as Seto watched on, somewhat amused.

"Does it involve more emotional scaring and trauma?" asked Serenity.

"Nope!" said Ryo happily, as he and Serenity found themselves in front of a portable 'Whack A Weasel', another 'Whack A Mole' spin off. "All we're going to do is play an innocent game of 'Whack A Weasel'."

"Oh, easy," said Serenity, picking up the mallet that was next to the game on the holder pin thing.

"Except I made one, tiny modification," said Ryo, starting to turn on the game.

"What?" asked Serenity in a hallow, dead voice.

"All the weasels are alive and rabid, and if you miss one, it will jump up and bite you on the face," said Ryo, as Serenity looked horrified at the game as a little electronic voice said 'Go!'.

"AH!" said Serenity, desperately bonking the weasels that started to pop up from the holes and jump at Serenity, foaming at the mouth, as she whirled her mallet around in horror to protect her body from dire injury (animal lovers, please note that I am also an animal lover and do not condone beating up animals, even if they are rabid). However, the weasels not only resisted Serenity's bashes, but they also wouldn't go back into their holes, and they repeatedly attacked her.

"ACH! NO!" she screamed, consumed by a cloud of rabid weasels. "THEY'RE LACERATING MY FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"

"Okay, um…he was murdered in the bathroom…by the butler…WITH A BOWL OF VANILLA PUDDING!" screamed Joey happily over the game.

"We're playing bridge, stupid mutt," said Seto, holding a hand of cards.

"Hey, Serenity's getting attacked by weasels…SHOULD I GO GET MY MEDICINE?" asked Joey excitedly.

"No, but some antiseptic would be good…" said Seto, observing the carnage.

---ooo---

"Okay, we're going to do a simple DDR simulation now," said Ryo, as Serenity stood on a DDR board drawn in the ground with a stick, a bunch of wires strapped onto her body, while Joey held a remote control of sorts, and Seto held up a bunch of cue cards.

"Ryo, what kind of training did you do?" asked Serenity, not liking the looks of this training already. "And is this going to involve more dismemberment?"

"Nope!" said Ryo. "It's a simple DDR simulator to test your reflexes and other skills. Now, what Seto is going to do is hold up a prepared cue card, with either an arrow or a word direction written on it. All you have to do is put your foot in the direction that the arrow or word states. If you get it wrong, as a form of negative reinforcement, Joey will issue a small shock to your body."

"Is this legal?" asked Serenity.

"Oh, no you're making this all technical!" said Ryo. "Begin the simulation!"

With that, Seto held up the first sign, a left arrow. Serenity hopped one foot on the left panel of the DDR board drawn in the dirt. Seto dropped the sign to reveal one that said 'up'. Serenity then hopped up.

"Hey, this isn't so hard!" said Serenity, acing the right arrow, and the down arrow, and the 'left', and the down arrow again, and then, for the first time, doing a spectacular up and right arrow combo.

"Oh darn, I was sure I was going to trick you on that one," said Ryo. "Okay Serenity, but this time, they're going to get harder, so pay attention!"

"Right!" said Serenity, after acing the right arrow, but then Seto revealed the next cue card, which turned out to be labeled 'derecha'.

"What?" Serenity asked, but then, Joey received the cue from Ryo, and Joey then pushed the button on the controller and zapped Serenity.

Then, the cue card was dropped, and another one, this one with a down arrow so tiny, you needed a magnifying glass to see it. Serenity also didn't catch this one, and also got shocked.

Then came a card that was written in Sanskrit.

BZZT!

"AH!"

BZZT!

"OW!"

BZZT!

"Ooh…"

"BZZT!

"EEK!"

BZZT!

"STOP IT JOEY!"

Joey just kept pressing the button over and over again for no good reason, laughing happily as he did such.

---ooo---

"Alright Serenity!" said Ryo proudly over lunch at a small food court not far from the training ground. "Do you feel DDR Savvy?"

"No Ryo, all I feel is beat up and lethargic," said Serenity, covered in band-aides and medical tape, with bruises starting to form over her back. "What kind of monks did you train with? No wonder you're a screaming coward!"

"Well the tournament's tomorrow!" said Seto, not sounding very encouraging. "If there's going to be some sudden burst of Dance Dance Revolution based enlightenment, it better happen pretty darn soon, because the clocks ticking!"

"Seto, if your parents had the pep-talking gene, it was recessive," said Serenity.

"Oh thank God I found you!" said Mai, running over to the table the four sat in at the food court as fast as she can, running over a lot of random pedestrians on the way, which is very painful when someone is wearing spiked heels. "I heard you have a DDR match with Pegasus tomorrow, and I came over as soon as I could!"

"Do you have a less painful way of teaching me?" asked Serenity, feeling her muscles starting to ball up at the words 'help' and 'DDR' being said in the same sentence.

"Oh please, DDR is easy, just follow the arrows," said Mai. "I need to get you made over!"

"What?" asked Serenity.

"Don't you know?" said Mai. "There's a secondary judging based on how well you look, your style, grace, all that jazz!"

"Wait…HALF OF IT'S SHOW?" asked Serenity.

"Yeah…" said Mai.

"Now that's shallow," said Seto.

"Hey don't blame me, the tournament's sponsored by a fashion/beauty store," said Mai. "OH MY GOD! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WEAR A SCHOOL UNIFORM! NOT ON MY WATCH!"

"This is the only outfit I have!" Serenity said.

"Well…I have my own outfits of course," said Mai, pulling out a magic wand and tapping Serenity with it, and with a cloud of magic spirally stuff, turned her school uniform into a belly-bearing strapless shirt, micro-mini, tall, purple, spiked heal boots, and a purple jacket.

"NO!" screamed Serenity, not wanting to wear the same clothes as Mai.

"Oh no, then that means we only have nine hours to make you over before the tournament!" said Mai, looking at her watch in horror. "Well, better use my magic to teleport us back to my place."

---ooo---

ONE TELEPORTATION SPELL LATER! WoOoOoOoOoO!

"Wow, nice place," said Ryo, finding himself, as well as the others, in Mai's apartment. It was indeed very nice, (one living room, dining room/kitchen, bathroom, and a bedroom, which is pretty nice if you ask me) and Serenity's first instinct was to collapse on a couch do to Ryo's hard-core DDR training, but no such luck.

"Alright sweets," said Mai, grabbing her by the shoulder. "The tournaments tomorrow at seven, which is pretty early, so we're going to have to get you made over tonight. Now, you and me are heading off to make you pretty-"

"Then why did you teleport us back here?" asked Seto.

"Easy, I don't want you three tagging along with us, four if you count the plush toy," said Mai. "So…how can I put this…"

---ooo---

"Oh come on, we're not that untrustworthy!" said Ryo as he found himself, Seto, and Joey all locked in Mai's room.

"CABBAGES!" Joey screamed at the top of his lungs right next to Ryo, freaking him out.

"Great...I'm stuck here with the brainless one and the naïve one…I hate my existence…" said Seto.

"You can't hate us that much, can you?" asked Ryo.

"Let me put it this way," said Seto. "On the list of people I like, you two are in are tied for second place."

"Yay!" Ryo and Joey cheered.

"Everyone in the known and unknown universe is tied for first place," said Seto.

"Oh…" Ryo and Joey said.

Awkward silence.

"So how long is Serenity gonna be gone anyway?" asked Joey.

"Um…probably about six or seven hours, why?" asked Ryo.

"SWEET! That's enough time to perform a voodoo ritual!" said Joey, for some literary impossibility suddenly in some kind of funky tribe garb, which included a massive amount of facial and body paint, as well as a grass skirt. "Hey Ryo, wanna pull my still-beating heart out of my body for me?"

"TOO MUCH STUPIDITY!" screamed Seto, rushing to the door, trying to pry it open. "NOOOOOOOOO! I CAN'T GET OUT!"

"Joey, this knife's sharp! You could cut yourself!" cried Ryo in horror, holding Joey's ritual knife in his hands.

"No…suffo…ca…ting…" said Seto, not being able to take the stupidity. "Must…end it…all…now…"

"Tooth Fairy, why are you trying to stab yourself with that nail file?" asked Joey stupidly.

---ooo---

"AAAAAAAH! NOOOOOO! AH-BLL-PFTT-AAAAAAAAAAH! SHE'S TRYING TO DROWN MEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Oh for cripes sakes, stop flailing around like that," said Mai, who was trying to shove Serenity down in a public bath/spa, in extra foamy water, while madly scrubbing her up. "God, you're acting like I'm trying to kill you."

"I can take my own baths, thank you!" yelled Serenity, as she was shoved underwater again by Mai.

"Not the right way, you don't," said Mai.

"This is the right way? Consuming ten gallons of water, getting shampooed and conditioned ten times, and getting your lungs waterlogged?" asked Serenity, surfacing for air again.

"Obviously you've never been to France," said Mai, sorting through all the bath supplies she had. "Okay, next I'm thinking coconut oil…"

"Now I know why no one like's the French," said Serenity, as she was shoved under again.

---ooo---

The next part of Mai's plan for Serenity, however, turned out to be much more pleasant.

"This is muuuuuuch better," said Serenity, as her hair was being dried off in huge spa hairdryer, getting a manicure with Mai.

"I knew you'd like this better," said Mai, as she was getting her nails done too. "Now I think we should go with crimson red for your nails, they'd look so nice against your skin…"

"Thanks for helping me get ready for the tournament tomorrow," said Serenity. "This is much better than that DDR training…"

"I figured you needed a break, what with running across half of Cuz and all," said Mai. "Besides, I love makeovers."

"I just hope the others are okay," said Serenity.

"Oh come on, they're not that dim," said Mai. "I'm sure they'll find some way to entertain themselves."

---ooo---

Meanwhile back with the idiot three and Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, Mai was correct in the idea that the boys would somehow be entertaining themselves. Ryo was amusing himself by smiling cheerfully and thinking about how wonderful the world was and how lucky he was to have such good friends. Seto was occupying himself by lying on the floor and letting himself slowly slip into the dark void of madness. Joey was amusing himself by attempting to count to three.

"Wa-One…tuh-tuh-two…uh…uh…" said Joey, up to three fingers held up on his hand. "Uh…I DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOOW!"

"Truer words have never been spoken…" Seto croaked.

Ryo, while enjoying his friends company, couldn't help but suddenly become restless. He was used to running away screaming from something at this hour. Then, he turned around, and gazed thoughtfully.

"Joey…" he asked. "…would I look better in red or purple?"

Seto's eyes automatically bugged out.

"Well red, duh," said Joey.

"Really?" said Ryo. "I was thinking purple. I mean, I always wear cool colors and stuff…"

Seto's left eye started twitching madly.

"No, look," said Joey, picking up a purple lipstick, pulling the top off, unscrewing it, and putting a generous amount on his lips. "See? You can already see a little blue undertone in my skin show up, and you're have a much fairer complexion than me, so it would be worse-"

"WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING?" screamed Seto at the top of his lungs, causing the other two to spin around from the mirror. "Don't you two have any pride?"

Both Joey and Ryo nodded no.

"Alright, I'm putting my foot down, no more makeup, no more colors, no more what would look better on who," said Seto, snatching the lipstick out of Joey's hands. "Understand?"

Silence.

"Hey, what color would Seto look good in?" asked Ryo to Joey.

"Blue, defiantly," said Joey. "It would look great with his eyes, and he tends to wear cool colors a lot, plus-"

"Look," said Seto, glaring not-quite-the-death-glare-but-pretty-close glare. "No more of this, got it? No, no, no, and may I say it again at a very loud volume, NO!"

TWO MINUTES LATER

"LET ME OUT OF THIS CLOSET YOU FOOLS!" screamed Seto through the closet door, tied by his hands, ankles, and torso to a chair, all locked up. "LET ME OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUT!"

"Yay! Let's have some fun!"

"Oh, look at all of this mascara!"

"Oh Ryo! Just look at these blouses! Let's try some on!"

"No, the pink one Joey! The pink one!"

"Sweet, a black wig!"

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" screamed Seto, madly trying to break free.

"Ah, just what I expected," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins calmly, as Seto turned to see her sitting next to him in the closet. "Yet again, you've gotten yourself into more trouble than you've bargained for. Sticking to your strengths, eh?"

"JUST HELP ME GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THEY DO SOMETHING STUPIDER!" yelled Seto angrily at Ms. Fuzzy-Kins.

"Are you kidding?" said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins. "At last…we meet, and the advantage is mine! HA HA HAAAAAA!"

"Are you done freaking me out?" asked Seto.

"Nope," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins. "I really want to see the result of this fiasco. Plus, I think it's high time to pay for all of your crimes against humanity. Like being a heartless jerk and such."

"Gotta…get…free…" Seto said, trying in vain to break the ropes.

"But while we're here," said Ms. Fuzzy-Kins, pulling out a portable DVD player, "let's watched taped nature programs!"

"You're…not human…you plushie…" said Seto, as Ms. Fuzzy-Kins put the DVD in the player.

"-'and so, the female Praying Mantis bites the head off her mate, to increase the change of her own offspring surviving by giving herself extra nutrients'-"

"That's disgusting!" screamed Seto. "POLICE! NATIONAL GUARD! SUPERMAN! ANYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! HELP MEEE!

---ooo---

"Now that was fun," said Serenity, carrying massive amounts of clothes home in several bags with Mai. "Wow, I've got so many outfits to choose from now! Thank you so much Mai! Oh, and thanks for that 'Spiral' DVD boxed."

"Don't mention it," said Mai, unlocking the door to her room. "It's about time we feed the weirdoes you hang out with."

"Hey, they may be weirdoes," said Serenity, "but I'm a weirdo too! And together, we're the most elite weirdo team…in all…of…Cuz…"

That's when she walked in to see the most mind-blowing sight in the history of forever. There stood Joey, wearing a long, black-haired wig, a orange and red midriff, low-rise, boot-cut pants, and strap sandals, white Ryo was wearing a huge, pink hair ribbon, a 'cutie' T-shirt, a pair of green khaki shorts, and white sneakers, both outfits stolen from Mai's wardrobe. Both were wearing lots of bracelets and clip on earrings, as well as light makeup.

"Jo-ey…Ree-yo…what…the heck…" Serenity said, holding so many bad words back.

"Oh…hi Serenity," said Ryo awkwardly, as Joey snatched of the wig and hid it behind his back. "Uh…heh heh…did you enjoy yourselves?"

"Why are you wearing those clothes, and where is Seto?" asked Serenity.

"We felt like it, and in the closet!" Joey said cheerfully, pointing to the closet.

As Mai began screaming at the two with sheer disdain, Serenity managed to pry open the closet door to find Seto gapping in horror at a portable DVD player.

"-here we see a pantomime goose," the narrator said on the DVD. "Zee goose is in a life or death struggle with-"

"At this point of the story, I'm not even going to ask," said Serenity.

---ooo---

"Hello and welcome to Day One of Maximillion Pegasus's Three Day 'Dance Dance Revolution' Tournament," said a random BBC reporter. "Tensions are heating up on these fields, when a seemingly innocent game of DDR may turn into a complete shift of power, due to the Ruby Platform Slippers, highly magical items, being at stake. So what does the average man in the crowd think of this tournament?"

"I think it's going to be great!" said ASV, who's little name label thing on the screen said 'Agent Sweater Vest; Conscience in Training'. "I really think their pretty evenly matched! I hope Serenity wins though, because…well, let's say that Mr. Pegasus isn't the freshest thing on the menu, if you know what I mean."

"Well I hope Serenity wins," said Tea, who's label was 'Tea Garner; Sufferer of Cruel and Unusual Summer Jobs'. "Can't stand the thought of an insane twenty-two year old who looks like an old man with a hoard of fuzzy bunnies ruling Cuz."

"Well she better win," said Nancy the Wise Cracker, who's label was 'Nancy the Wise Cracker; Pirate'. "I came halfway across Cuz to see this, and if me and the crew are cheering her on, we better see results, or I'll get mad. Say, is that a twenty-five karat watch?"

"YAY SERENITY! GANBATTNE!" said Double S, who label was 'Spirit of the Snow; Cuddly Chibi'.

"Yeah, I suppose I like her better, she's pretty nice," said Spirit, who's label was 'Spirit; Has a Really Bad Fixation of Seto Kaiba'. "OH MY GOD! SETO! WAIT! DON'T RUN AWAY SCREAMING! I LOOOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOU!" (A/N Did I not warn you that Spirit's original design was to be so obsessed with Seto, it borderlines stalker?)

"WHY ARE YOU POINTING THAT CAMERA AT ME PUNKO?" screamed Richard the Irritable, who's label didn't matter, because he punched out the lense of the camera, making everything fuzzy for a short bit.

"And there you have it, just a few open opinions of the duel," said the BBC reporter. "This is BBC World, DDR Arena, Cu-"

"BRITISH PERSON!"

"OH GOD!" screamed the camera man, running away in horror as Mobster was hard on his tail.

"Uh…Mobster will be out for a bit," said Johney Roma, who was in the commentator's chair in a high box over the large, DDR platform in the middle of the arena. "Hello, I am Johney Roma, and I shall be commentating this part of the three day DDR Tournament, sponsored by Air. Air, what better thing to breath? Okay, back to the game. I have just read the records on the betting on the winner of today's tournament, and it appears that it's Pegasus 2-1, Serenity 500-1 for today, and Pegasus 2-1, Serenity 2,000-1 for the entire tournament."

"I'm glad to see the public supports me…" said Serenity, listening to the commentary as she sat waiting for the game to begin. Mai's makeover had done it's wonders. Not only did her hair look nice and shiny, she was also wearing an great looking tan, sleeveless shirt with a tie front, a silver chain necklace with a little star charm at the end (nothing gaudy), a pair of powder blue pedal pushers, and a small, black charmed ankle bracelet.

"Don't worry Serenity!" Joey said. "I have the utmost confidence in you!"

"Bets sir?" asked a guy who came around and collected bet money.

"Five on Peggsy!" said Joey, handing over a five bucks.

"Well, I suppose this is how it all ends," said Seto. "I only hope that Serenity has the power to overcome the insane evil of Pegasus."

"You bet ten bucks she'd lose, didn't she?" asked Ryo.

"Ryo, why do you have this preconception that I think she's going to lose?" said Seto. "I think I have a little more confidence in her than that!"

"You bet twenty quid that she'd lose then?" asked Ryo.

"Twenty five actually," said Seto.

"And here begins the game!" said Johney Roma. "The rules are as follows. Both players have to look at the screen and follow the arrow patterns that will flash across it. The person who follows the arrows with missing the move the least number of times shall win the game. However, there shall be a tiny modification. The DDR platform, if you haven't noticed, has walls on both sides of it."

And he was right. On each side of the platforms were two huge walls, and each had a DDR step pattern on them.

"When the screen flashes green, it means for a short period of seconds, you can perform a certain number of moves on the wall by either jumping up to perform one, or using the bar to hold yourself in the air for a short duration of time," said Johney.

"That's sounds really tricky…" said Serenity. "And what's worse is that I'm already disadvantaged because I'm wearing platforms, which aren't exactly the most maneuverable footwear on the market."

"And what if you slip or something?" asked Ryo. "You could get hurt!"

"Well…it looks like I have no choice!" said Serenity. "Besides, if there's one thing I've learned from this trip, it's how to be less clumsy! Wish me luck guys!"

With that, Serenity started walking up to the DDR platform. That's when her shoe got caught in the stairway, and she fell flat on her face on the stairs.

"I'll call the ambulance then," said Seto.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!" said Johney on the commentary. "The Champion, Maxamillion Pegasus, The Challenger, Serenity Wheeler!"

"Uh, why am I being strapped in?" said Serenity, as a harness thing was strapped around her by some referees.

"This is an extreme form of DDR," said the ref. "We don't want you to get killed trying to pull some fantastic stunt on the wall."

"Huh, good point," said Serenity, as there was a countdown on the screen, and 'Sandstorm' started to play.

"And they're off!" said Johney. "Fantastic start for both, really hitting those notes. It's pretty amazing Miss Wheeler's a beginner, she's doing quite-oh! Fantiastic landing by Pegasus, that was a really hard combo-oh, a little shaky, but she hit it ladies and gents!"

It took a little while for Serenity to start off, and her beginning was much shakier than Pegasus's who it was easy to see was a seasoned DDR combater. Left, up, left, right, up, down, right, left, up, right-it was hard getting into the format, but she did pretty well once she got into it.

"Oh man," said Ryo, watching from the stands with the other two. "Serenity's doing fine, but Pegasus isn't missing a beat! It's going to be a really tough run."

"Serenity's just going to have to pull off something fantastic to win the judges approval in the secondary judging," said Seto, as Joey munched on some moldy cheese he bought.

"Look how fast those arrows are going," said Ryo. "Is it just me, or are they speeding up?"

"TOOTH FAIRY!" screamed Joey. "CAN I HAVE A TWENTY?"

Serenity was starting to feel the same way. It really did seem like the arrows were getting faster, either that or she was getting a lot slower. She knew that she had to keep up with the pace. The judges were watching her, and a part of her score was to be based on the performance of the individual. And she just thought about all the people who were depending on her to win…however, that thought didn't quite rest easily on her nerves. She could feel herself missing some of the moves, and she was just barely keeping up with Pegasus.

Then, two things happened that would turn the whole game around.

The green light flashed on the screen.

And Serenity tripped.

"OH NO!" cried Ryo. "She's going to get hurt!"

"And a fumble like that could cost her the game!" said Seto.

"ONIONS!" screamed Joey in horror.

However, what happened was just short of a miracle. She somehow grabbed the rail while she was falling, swung herself around on it with so much force that she threw herself up in the air, and grabbed her harness, swinging around on it, and landing on the score board just in time to do a fantastic combo, while Pegasus didn't even bother to try, because the crowd's gasp clued him in that she had tripped earlier, and he did not assume she was going to pull a fantastic recovery.

"OH MAN! THAT WAS WICKED!" said Mobster, who made it back to the commentator box after unsuccessfully hunting down the BBC reporter.

"Are you done chasing British People down?" asked Johney.

"For the day, yeah," said Mobster.

"Fantastic!" said Johney. "My gosh, this proves that their skills are right about equal! And…oh! It's the end of the song! Now it's time for the secondary scores! Our panel of four judges shall count the scores. First, Pegasus."

Pegasus's score card was held up. He got a 8.4, 9.1, 8.7, and 9.3. That made his total score a 35.5 out of 40,which is multiplied by ten because of the rules. Combined with his score of 127 points from the DDR, he had a total of 482.

"Very good!" said Johney. "Now it's time for Serenity Wheeler's score!"

The judges gave her a score of 9.0, 9.5, 9.4, and 9.2. This made her score a solid 37.1. Her DDR score was 118, making her final score 489, just seven points above Pegasus.

"THE WINNER FOR ROUND ONE IS SERENITY WHEELER!" said Johney. "AND WHAT A FANTASTIC ROUND IT WAS!"

---ooo---

I couldn't agree more.

I don't own any DDR stuff, just so you know.

And now, it's time for character rants! This week, we look at two characters with brown eyes, white hair, and weird accents! Yep, it's Ryo and Pegasus!

Ryo

Poor kid, he had a hard time in this story from the start…

Ryo is a character I really admire, simply because no matter how painfully naïve he seems at time, he's really just has a happy opinion of the entire world. He enjoys being alive, and I think that's something we all need to admire. He's also super polite, which is something I try to be, but I ultimately fail. I'm as bad as Seto at times XD. I think the best way to describe him is that he goes out of his way to be happy, which is why he's sometimes a hard character to nail, because I times I really think I go out of my way to be miserable. He's my ideal guy XD.

I think his cheeriness serves a double purpose. It keeps him sane when times in his life can be really, really down, and also in sharp contrast to his evil side. A good FF dot net author, LariaKaiba, once claimed Ryo 'has a psychotic side, and I'm not talking about Yami-Bakura'. I think in a way she's kind of right. If he loves RPGs as much as I do, that bloodthirsty, axe-wielding Barbarian is somewhere in there, waiting to come out at the oddest moments. I try my best to give you little glimpses of that when I can.

Ryo is probably the character I'd get along most with. He's always made me smile, and he continues to do the more I look into his personality. If we were locked in a room, we'd probably just sit and talk quietly, or hack each other to bits in Neverwinter Nights, whichever came first XD.

Pegasus

Pegsy is what I would call another failure in a shot at making an in-depth character. Like Joey, his role became more and more farcical as time passed.

Pegasus is a pretty odd character, no matter which way you look at it. He's almost completely one-dimensional, who's soul purpose in this story is either to annoy characters to the brink of insanity, or do something incredibly stupid to get a laugh. I almost imagine at times that the gang tries to unravel the complexity of his mind, but ultimately get nothing, or get a bunch of things that aren't true, due to the fact that Pegasus's mind is so simple, they over think it. In a way, Joey is probably the one who understands Pegasus the most, because the most complicated thoughts he has on Pegasus is 'Ha ha. He's funny lookin'. Is that a wig? ICE CREAM!'

Sorry to scare you.

Anyway, the only thing I guess I like about Pegasus is that no matter how you look at it, he's doing his own thing, and he doesn't really care about what other people think. He's a loony, but he's a happy loony. And General Fluffa-Pie is his only real friend, now that you mention it. General Fluffa-Pie has to do a lot of 'under thinking' when it comes to Pegasus as well.

Well, I really don't think I can say anything more about Peggy. Let's have a premiere of Chapter Thirty-Four shall we?

PREMIERE: Everything seems to be going perfect for the gang. The chapters are longer, Serenity's confidence is on high, and there is no scheduled cross dressing for the rest of the story. But Day Two of the DDR Tournament only brings new struggles and new problems, as Mai hires the two most psychotic OC's to baby sit the boys, and the one who saves the…I don't even want to say it. Can Serenity bail the loonies out of trouble when crossfire brews? Can Joey master the power The Eggplant of Brawn? And will the most shocking game of DDR yet completely ruin all the gang has been fighting for? Find out on yet another wacky episode of The Wizard of Cuz!

This fan fiction will self destruct in fifteen seconds. Good night!