"Joseph Stalin: Earliest member of the modern Democratic Party."
-Major-sama
"Republicans for Voldemort!"
-A bumper sticker
I jus love scaring you. In fact, I'm sure that when a couple of you saw the title, you started crying. Yes, it's SETA'S REVENGE! MUA HA! But first, review time!
LoneFlyinTigers
Don't worry! I'm just glad that you're here now!
Yeah, cross dressing is probably one of the most insane things I have thought up yet. And that's saying something. And thanks for the typo. I thought I fixed it, but when you reviewed, I managed to re-fix it just in time! (gives thank-you candy)
Seto I can understand with the confidence thing, but Joey…well, he's a fool, so I guess he has an excuse too…sorta…
I really do wonder about Ryo at times. And who can stand watching nature movies? Now that I think about it, how did Serenity not be severely wounded after Ryo's 'training'? Maybe it somehow actually worked?
As to your question, we see hints of that today, but we really figure it out next chapter. Sorry. Anyway, please enjoy the chappie!
Fuzzy Bunny
Ouch. Your friends trained with the bicycle monks?
Yes, Seto is not a morning person. Neither am I to be honest, so I can relate.
I just got it last weekend and I love it (squee!). I really like the living safe guy. He's funny. Oh, and High Priest Set (aka the screaming loony with the silly hat) does love to threaten people, doesn't he? I really see that a lot in modern-day Seto, only most of it's directed at Joey…
THANK YOU FOR WRITING A NOT-THREE-SENTENCES-REVIEW FUZZY! Woot indeed! Enjoy this chapter!
Pointe Master
Hi! I'm glad you like DDR so much! How am I doing writing it so far?
Everyone should be glad that Ryo or any of the DDR monks didn't teach them how to play. I'm sure any average soul would be dead if they did.
Thank you for the reviews! Enjoy!
Lefthandedfreak, and Josh the Figment Man
HI GUYS! (waves until her arms snaps off)
Anyway (puts arm back on), it seems like a lot of people were traumatized seeing Ryo cross dressing, even though I went out of my way to make Joey seem worse. It kind of scares me…It's like people are expecting Joey to walk around dressed as a lady…and poor Seto too, just look at how he has to suffer.
I don't know how Ryo survived. It must be a miracle. Or Ryo is more insane than I originally thought.
Oh, and make sure you give your friends thank yous for liking this story and wanting to tape it (and deepest sympathy for Jaimee-Lee, for getting landed with the role of Seto, hee hee). I feel so happy! (sobs gratefully)
I need to get help too, know that I think about it.
No new developments on the curse of Seto Kaiba except two minor things. One is that Princess Mika of the Shadows is glad for your help in dealing with the curse, and that somehow, I really must be immune to the curse so much that it's protecting my brother, because we decided to write a one-shot together, and no matter how many times he said 'Kaiba' (he refers to him as Kaiba, while I refer to him as Seto), he didn't get struck down, which is odd, because his favorite character is Alister (ironic, no?) Maybe you have to say Seto's full name for the curse to activate?
Well I can't wait to see how the bets turn out. Thank you guys! Enjoy the chappie!
Bilbo-Sama
OH NO! How dare you break the trend?
Few…Alexis isn't so bad I guess, but the Jaden thing is just weird…and I can understand where they're coming from. Chronos looks like a Marvel reject of some sort. I know I'm kind of bugging you with names, but what did they name Daitokuchu-sensei and his cat? Something really lame like 'Doctor Maximus Felinicus' and his trusty sidekick 'Fluffo'?
What I'm really upset is how bad their going to screw up the dub actors , like Shou (I mean Chazz). I think he's going to sound like a complete girly man. Which is a shame. He's kinda cute…and god know's how horrible, um…Chumly's gonna turn out.
Maybe…since Ryo has bad eyesight, he got contact lenses that turn his eyes brown instead of red! I'm kidding. Ryo's not albino. I don't think Seto's a nihilist (which actually makes since, because if he believes that he doesn't really exist, he'd be right, since he's a fictional character), and Joey's not a (complete) idiot.
Sorry about the exploding fanfic. THANKS FOR THE REVIEW!
ShadowFire2
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (Throws 'The Wizard of Cuz' plushies at her) May you're days be filled with ice cream of your particular favorite flavor, may red dogs avoid your path, and may people who are mean and nasty to you find rabid animals in their gym clothes twice daily.
I'd like to be an announcer person too. As for who babysits…oh the horror…please enjoy this chappie!
Serenity-Yugioh-fan05
Aw…it's okay, I'll start another one.
DARN THAT WRITERS BLOCK! Hope it get's better! Oh, and enjoy this chapter too!
Gothangelmyu
Sorry about the computer.
The thought of Pegasus vs Seto in DDR is a very hard mental picture to conjure up. Why did you think I didn't write that scene?
Boy, has everyone seen Seto in bunny ears? Odd, very odd. I think after everything Ms. Fuzzy-Kins goes through to make sure Seto does the right thing, she need to just sit down and let it all out.
I toyed with the idea of Seto being forced into girls clothing, but I thought that it would ultimately be the death of him. His skin would turn to ashes or something like that ("PINK! IT BURNS!").
Thank you for reviewing! It's good to see you back, I was worried! Enjoy!
Princess Mika of the Shadows, Yami, Marik, and Natzo
Ah yes. Somehow, someway, I wanted cross dressing in this story, AND I GOT MY WISH! WEEE!
Poor Yami…(sends more bandaides).
Anyway, it seems that we really need to stop this curse. BUT HOW? Maybe we can all storm into the 4Kids headquarters, demand they dub Yu-Gi-Oh better, and the curse will be lifted!
Split level shipping…FUNNY!
Aw…you guys are so sweet! Thanks Yami! And thanks Marik…I think…I should really get Sims. Then I can make kind of a city filled with the characters of 'The Wizard of Cuz' and destroy their lives! MUA HA! I have a sick mind.
THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE AND I HOPE YOU LIKE THE CHAPTER!
Mokuba's Official Glomper
YAY MOG! (Claps) Your mastery of the tourture of Seto-boochan and Alister-cuddle-koi rivals my own!
I don't know why, but the idea of Ryo tilting his head cutely amuses me. Scary.
Ah…Weevil Underwood! TRULY AND INSANE MAN! Tee hee, I like the nickname 'Lovebug' too. Boy, it's a good thing you support Tea…or the evil dubber box would unleash it's ultimate dark magic…
Anyway, THANK YOU TONZIES FOR THE INSANE REVIEW! ( Emails thank you chocolates) YOU ROCK!
Tristan'soneandonlyfangirl
Those are probably my two favorite lines as well. Hee hee, but I also like Ms. Fuzzy-Kins's 'We meet again, and this time, the advantage is mine!' Oh, and Seto's line about how much he liked Joey and Ryo actually came from my Dad. He'd kill me if he knew I warped it into what Seto would say…
Thanks you for the review! Enjoy this torture, um, I mean chapter!
Mizz-Serenity-Wheeler
May I have a copy? Please?
Actually, I got the idea for that song, because once in Drama Club last year, my two friends Aii-Chan (WHITE FOX PLUSHIE OF SCARY DOOM!) and Nil-Chan brought a DDR CD, and they plugged it into the stage stereo system and were dancing around, and another friend, Yousei-san, was like 'I like this song, but my favorite is Sandstorm', and since I was currently writing this story with the end in mind, I was like 'okay'.
I dunno. Maybe I'd like to hear it. Me and my little brother once heard a song called 'When Hamsters Attack', but we re-did it and made it a tribute to Alister, his favorite character, and turned it into 'When Girly Men Attack'.
Anyway, I must be boring you with my rants! Hope you enjoy going back to school with your stuff! And enjoy this chappie too!
Cute lil Yami
YAY! HI! (Waves as both arms snap off). Huh, now I'll have to type with my tongue…
Yay for Ryo indeed! (Hugs Ryo Plushie for gazillionth time). DDR Monks actually came from an idea from a horrible edition of 'Shirt Guy Dom' Megatokyo comic, and I forgot to mention it last chapter. I'M SORRY! o-.-o But everything else was mine. Really.
YOU ARE SO NICE THANK YOU! (Hugs and gives pie) I hope you like this chapter too!
Onto the craziness!
CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR
If I Only Had Seta's Revenge
"WOOT! THAT WAS SO COOL!" said Joey, who was bouncing up and down on the couch in Mai's apartment, where they were having a small get-together to celebrate Serenity's victory in round one. "I'M GONNA POUR GRAPE JUICE DOWN MY PANTS!"
"Give me that Joey," said Serenity, taking the glass of grape juice out of his hand. "Thanks for all of this you guys! Now all I have to do is win one more round, and we're done!"
"TRAINING TIME!" said Ryo, who held out a motor engine and two jumper cables, which were sparking unpleasantly by being attached to it.
"Uh…I think I'll pass tonight Ryo, there's not enough time," said Serenity.
"Which reminds me, we need to get you made over again by tomorrow," said Mai.
"WHAT? Again?" asked Serenity.
"Hello?" said Mai. "You've been running around all day, no doubt sweating like heck from all that adrenaline. We gotta make sure your in tip-top shape for tomorrow, because there's no doubt Pegasus is going to bring his A-game."
"Mai…" said Serenity, "isn't this kind of overkill?"
"As for you three," said Mai, indicating the clueless trio, "don't get any ideas, I've hired babysitters for the both of you."
"WE'RE NOT SIX!" yelled Seto.
"You're not sane either, so you're just going to have to deal," said Mai. "They should be arriving in a little bit, so just chill."
"A babysitter. What's next?" said Seto sarcastically(oh no! More alliteration!), sinking smuggly(NO! EVEN MORE!) into a couch.
"Don't worry Tooth Fairy," said Joey nobly. "I'll find someone to save us! I'm gonna look up 'person who can save other people from being babysat' in the phone book!"
"Don't bother Joey, I'd rather nail my own legs to the nearest four way intersection and ask someone to run me over," said Seto.
"Oh come on!" said Ryo. "This could be fun! I bet we'll have the kindest, nicest baby sitter in the world, who will give us cookies and read us stories before bed."
The other two just stared at him.
"Really?" asked Joey hopefully. "I like cookies…"
"Mere words cannot describe my feelings," said Seto. "Destroying something, on the other hand, just may do the trick…"
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
"Oh, it's probably them," said Mai, getting up to answer the door. "You guys wait here."
"Look, I know this is tough for you guys, but I'll make up for this later, I promise," said Serenity.
"That would involve dragging me to a dark alley and beating me until I am either unconscious or dead," said Seto.
"I want ice cream!" said Joey.
"I'll take ice cream too!" said Ryo.
"Seto, since it's against my principals to drag full grown men into dark alleys and beat them until they cry…" said Serenity.
"…I'll take ice cream…" said Seto. "Sugarless."
"Whatever," said Serenity.
"Okay, the babysitters are here!" said Mai. "Joey, Ryo, Seto, meet Mobster and Spirit!"
Mobster looked hungrily at Ryo, while Spirit, Seto, each carrying a huge carpenter bag like Mary Popins carrying God-knows-what.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Ryo and Seto like little kids, while Joey stared stupidly at the two babysitters. They both threw themselves at Serenity's feet, begging for mercy from the horror of a British obsessed mob leader and an overly-perky Seto fanatic.
"HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO US?" screamed Seto.
"Please don't let them hurt uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus…" Ryo wimpered sadly.
"Guys, come on, show a little dignity…" said Serenity.
"I lost that thing a long time ago…" said Seto.
"When?" said Serenity.
---ooo---
"And so, as I set out to reclaim my life, my fortune, and my heart, I Seto Kaiba, promise that no matter what comes my way, I shall keep my pride, dignity, and self respect," said Seto in a kooky kind of flashback. "No matter how dangerous the challenge, or how humiliating the fight, I shall keep my head, my sanity, and find victory!"
"Hi! I'm Joey Wheeler!" said Joey, walking into the kinky flashback thing.
---ooo---
"Oh," said Serenity in realization.
"Aw come on, we just want to play…" said Spirit, as she and Mobster managed holding back on tackling them and squeezing them to death in vice-grip hugs of death.
"NO SERENITY PLEASE!" said Ryo and Seto.
"Oh come on, they're harmless," said Serenity, unknowing that Mobster and Spirt started unpacking several DVDs of 'Air' and 'Marmalade Boy'. The horrible thought of standing up all night watching romantic comedies while being endlessly huggled by twisted fan girls…was pure terror…and don't get me started on all of the taped copies of 'Eastenders' Mobster brought along with her…
"See ya…" said Mai, dragging Serenity out the door before she or anyone else could say another word, Ryo and Seto both looking like two puppies that watched as their owners walk away after dropping them off in the pound.
"Now, what should we all do first?" asked Mobster happily.
"Found one!" said Joey, looking in the phone book.
---ooo---
Meanwhile, far from the patheticness of the Clueless Trio (which is how I shall refer to them for the rest of the story), one of the most dangerous and manic people ever to roam the streets, with the killing instinct of a great white shark, the raw strength of a thousand tigers, the cunning of a pack of wolves, and the insanity of RYU BARABUS HIMSELF! Yes, the most horrible person, who STUPID has tried to hunt down time and time again, and failed in every mission, with it's partakers barely coming back alive. Yes, the horror, the terror, the sheer brutality off-
"YAY! PEACH GIRL VOLUME THREE! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" said Seta, the most hated female character ever in this story, in her dreaded lair of softness, plush, and PINK! "This is so much fun! I feel like doing my nails!"
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
Her pink phone with purple flowers all over it by her purple, green, yellow, and pink bed rang cheerfully, as the dreaded physical manifesto of Seto's feminine side happily skipped to the phone, picking it up in one graceful movement.
"Hel-lo!" she said happily into the phone, flopping down on a bean bag chair next to it.
"Yes, can I have a large pepperoni pizza with olives please?" asked Joey.
"You and your friends are trapped in a house with two manic fan girls and unless I save you they'll tear you apart?" asked Seta in horror. "That's terrible!"
"And buffalo wings, medium," said Joey.
"You'll pay me massive amounts of money to free you?" said Seta. "Don't worry! I'm on my way!"
"Hey, do we get it free if it doesn't come in five minutes?" asked Joey, but the phone hung up.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Seta screamed at the top of her lungs, charging out the door. "BRAND NEW FRIENDS! BRAND NEW FRIENDS! BRAND NEW FRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENDS!"
---ooo---
"So tell me again why you're tying us to these chairs?" asked Ryo, as the two manic fan girls were belting both him and Seto to the sofa (using really long belts).
"Safety reasons!" said Mobster, buckling Ryo down extra tight.
"Uh…yeah," said Spirit, pulling out her hand sewn 'I Love Seto' embroidered pillows from her carpenter bag, as well as several kind of lip gloss.
"Safe from what?" asked Seto angrily.
"Oh, it seems pretty worthless now, doesn't it?" said Mobster. "What if that couch just decided to buck and throw you off, huh? Have you ever been thrown off by a full-speed couch?"
"No, I find it to be a relatively rare phenomenon…" said Seto.
"He's so cute when he uses words I can't understand…" said Spirit dreamily.
"JOEY! HELP US!" screamed Ryo in fright, but unfortunately, Joey was busy indulging on junk food that the girls had provided to distract him in case he tried to help his friends. "I'M BEGGING YOU!"
"I like kitties…" Joey muttered to himself, stuffing his face with Doritos.
"It's no use Ryo," said Seto grimly. "This is how our sanity ends…here…with two maniacs…and the Mutt doing nothing to defend our honor…"
"Our sanity?" asked Ryo, giving him a look. ( A/N: HA HA HA HA HA HA)
---ooo---
"TWEET TWEET BIRDIES!" screamed Seta, as she skipped down the sidewalks of Rhinestone City to get to the address she guessed where our mismatched heroes would be, not aware that down an alley, a few desperate agents from stupid (Supplementary Tactical Unraveling and Persecution of Insane Delinquents), all had their eyes on her.
"There she is men," said one of the agents. "FIRE!"
"Oh, look, a pencil!" said Seta, bending down at the exact moment they fired, causing a tranquilized dart to fly right over her head. "AND IT'S MY FAVORITE COLOR TOO! This must be my lucky day!"
"I'M GOING IN!" said a younger member of the agent team.
"NO SCOTTY! DON'T DO IT!" said one of the team, but it was too late. The young agent ran out of the alley right at Seta, with a tranqulizer gun ready to take her down.
"LUCKY DAY!" screamed Seta, whirling around and stabbing the young agent in the arm with the pencil, nearly to the bone.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Scotty in pain, grasping his wound in pain, sinking to the ground in pain. "She stabbed me!"
"I did?" asked Seta, looking confused for a moment, still grasping the bloody pencil in her hand. "No, can't be-"
"FIRE!" screamed another member of the team again. The dart fired, but it missed Seta and hit…Scotty.
"OW!" said Scotty in pain, the dart burying itself in his derriere. "YOU IDIOTS! YOU MISSED! HOW COULD YOU POSSILBY MISS A SIX FOOT FIVE, BUG EYED PINK THING? YOU LOAD OF…whoa, I feel really dizzy…"
Uh oh.
"Alright, hang on," said Scotty, wobbling into a standing position, "wow, everything's all swirly, hang on, I've just got to-OWW!"
He ran into a stop sign.
"Oh, it's no use!" he sobbed, sinking to the ground. "It's no use! I try, and I try, and I always screw up on these missions! There's no way I could ever have the talent to ever become a master agents! I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN! MOM! I'M SORRY YOU WENT THROUGH ALL THAT PAIN AND MISERY OF GIVING BIRTH TO ME, AND RAISING ME, AND HAVING ME TURN OUT TO BE THIS WAY…but, but that's not so bad right?"
He suddenly shot to his feet.
"In fact, we practically got her, haven't we?" he said excitedly. "This is great! She standing there all confused, so someone can just nip over there and put her in a net! Let's celebrate! Let's all ride magical pink ponies and sing songs!"
"Yeah!" said Seta cheerfully.
"Let's dance, and play Candyland, and have a sleepover, and-"
Scotty spun around three times.
"CRANBERRY!" he screamed, and suddenly passed out.
Silence.
"Hey, do any of you gentlemen know where Rompeg is?" asked Seta.
"Oh, down and the second street to your left," said one of the agents.
"THANKS!" Seta said, skipping off.
---ooo---
The situation was grim for our heroes. While Joey was happily snacking on junk food, completely ignoring Seto and Ryo's screams of despair, the other two were forced to sit through a particularly sad bit on the TV, and as a result…were being hugged…
"AAAAAAAH! COOTIES! COOTIES!" screamed Seto, as Spirit was hugging him, desperately trying to struggle out of the restraints to no avail.
"She's…cracking…my…collar…bone," said Ryo, who was also being hugged, but by Mobster.
Truly both of our heroes seemed doomed to suffer all of this torture and torment. What could they do? There seemed like no way out…or was there?
"TRA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed a voice, as a humongous section of the roof caved in, thankfully not on any of the characters, and there, unthankfully, over the hole, was an extremely happy Seta, waving wildly to everyone inside.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ryo screamed in horror.
"Oh…my…God…" said Seto, his eyes bugged out.
"DON'T WORRY NEW BEST FRIENDS!" screamed Seta heroically. "I'LL SAVE YOU!"
With that, she flew to the floor like a juggernaut, karate chopped the couch in half, snapping the belt around Seto and Ryo, grabbing them both in one arm, grabbed Joey in the other, and carrying three times her own weight, sprang out through the hole in the roof and made a speedy getaway.
"CRUD! She's fast!" said Mobster.
"We can't let them get away!" said Spirit. "We won't get paid!"
"Your right!" said Mobster, starting to climb up on the broken furniture to get to the hole in the roof. "DON'T WORRY BRITISH PERSON! I'M COMING!"
"ME TOO!" said Spirit, but since she was on the same level of insanity as Seta is, she was able to easily spring onto the roof, chasing after the manic weird, with Mobster right behind her.
---ooo---
"JOEY, WHO IS THIS PERSON!" screamed Seto at the top of his lungs as he was being carried with the other two by Seta.
"CANTALOPES!" screamed Joey.
"THAT MAKES NO SENCE!" screamed Ryo.
"Hi new best friends!" said Seta cheerfully. "I'm Seta! What are your names?"
"JOEY, THE TOOTH FAIRY, AND RYO!" Joey screamed happily.
"GET BACK HERE WITH OUR BABYSITTEES!" screamed Mobster, chasing after Seta and the others, as they all hoped across the rooftops, which was pretty dangerous in that, considering one miss and they all could be free falling down at least one hundred fifty feet.
"Oh no! Not new best friends!" said Seta in horror. "THIS IS TERRIBLE!"
With that, she slammed the breaks on her feet, grabbed Joey, and slammed him down one of the building roofs, causing him to spiral down an unknown skyscraper.
"TOUCHDOWN!" said Seta happily, turning to the other two in her arms. "Now for you two!"
"NO! DON'T!" screamed both Seto and Ryo, but Seto was slammed down a different building, and after a mighty leap, so was Ryo.
"ALRIGHT MEANIES!" said Seta, turning to Mobster and Spirit, who were charging toward her. "COME AND GET ME!"
---ooo---
"Wow, this is a really cute T-Shirt!" said Serenity, holding a pink and powder blue striped one with a v-neck up.
"Yeah…but don't you think it's too plain?" asked Mai.
"Maybe we could accessories with it!" said Serenity. "I'm more of the 'classic' style type…"
"Why do I have this dark feeling that your idiotic friends are doing something stupid?" asked Mai.
"Come on Mai! I'm sure they're not doing anything terrible!" said Serenity. "I'm not even that paranoid!"
CRASH!
"HEYMAIHEYSERENITY!"
CRASH!
For a split second, Joey crashed through the ceiling of the store Serenity and Mai were in, and then crashed into the floor to the next level down. Both girls looked at the hole in the floor in absolute silence.
"I think we better head back to the hotel…after we find Joey," said Mai.
"Me too!" said Serenity, as they both rushed to an escalator that led to the next level down.
---ooo---
"Luckily I landed on this nice, soft state senator!" said Ryo happily, who had landed on a random state senator when he fell through the skyscraper. "Thank you sir!"
"Mt mffin mt," said the senator.
"Better go find the others," said Ryo, walking out of the huge glass doors of the skyscraper, heading to the right, hopping to find Seto in the one next door. It turned out to be a hotel complex, and Ryo walked into it, onto the soft red rugs, up to the man behind the check in counter.
"Hello, and welcome to Hotel Anthrax!" said the check in lady. "May I get you a room sir?"
"Uh, well actually, I'm looking for a man who crashed through your roof. You wouldn't happen to have seen him, would you?" asked Ryo.
"Well, it's Labor Day, so a lot of people have been crashing through the roof," said the lady. "May I have his description?"
"Tall, skinny, blue eyes, running around in a trench coat-" rattled of Ryo.
"Sarcastic beyond all human comprehension?" asked the check in lady.
"Yes, that's him!" said Ryo.
"Oh, he's right over there," said the check in lady, and there stood Seto, staring blankly into space in the lobby, looking like some kind of living statue.
"Seto! Thank goodness!" said Ryo, rushing up to him. "Listen, I think that Joey's been dropped down through a roof not far from here, but I think that if that weird girl who looks like you comes back, we could split up and…uh, Seto?"
Seto continued to stare blankly into space.
"Uh, hello?" asked Ryo, waving a hand in front of his face. No response. He tried snapping his fingers next to his ear. Nothing.
"Uh…what happened to you…" Ryo asked pointlessly.
"Excuse me, do you know this stick figure?" asked a police officer to Ryo.
"Yes, yes I do," said Ryo. "Why is he acting like…like…"
"Ah yes," said the police officer, pulling out a pad of paper. "You see, your friend here fits the description of Seta, a class-A weirdo running around lately. Not only does this person fit the description, but when said person put up a fight, I took the liberty of removing his brain."
"Can you do that?" asked Ryo, looking at a gapping Seto.
"Oh yeah, with the proper warrant," said the police officer.
"May I see?" asked Ryo, as the police officer pulled out a brain in a pickle jar. "NO! The warrant! The warrant!"
"Oh, sorry," said the police officer, pulling out a warrant and handing it to Ryo, who carfully read it over. "Now, we're just going to run some tests on this brain, and if everything checks out, we'll have it at the police station, and you can just nip over and take it back. Fair?"
"Hm…looks legit," said Ryo, handing back the warrant, and slinging Seto's weightless body over his back. "Come on Seto."
---ooo---
"Hello everyone!" said ASV happily, walking into the apartment with Double S. "The door was open, so we let ourselves in! We brought some ice cream as a victory treat for you guys! How is…everybody…"
He and Double S were shocked to find the apartment in ruins, chairs toppled, DVD playing, the couch chopped in half, and a huge hole in the roof.
"Oh no!" said Double S in horror, looking at all the destruction. "What on Earth happened?"
"I don't know, but something tells me that the Serenity and the others are in trouble!" said ASV in horror. "And I have a strange feeling it has to do with the hole in the roof!"
"Well it is Labor Day," said Double S.
"Still and all," said ASV. "We better investigate!"
"Can we start with this fuzzy, pink business card that said 'Seta Wuz Here'?" asked Double S.
"Oh no…not Seta…" said ASV. "If she found the guys…oh, I don't want to think about it…"
"She doesn't seem that awful," said Double S, looking at the fuzzy business card.
"Double S, she's clinically insane, has a 'friendship' problem, and is prone to stabbing people and having no recollection of it!" said ASV. "This is terrible! We have to do something, and quick!"
---ooo---
"Whoa…kinda dizzy…" said Joey, walking around aimlessly in the mall, bumping into several people as he passed. He hasn't acted this tipsy since he drank an entire cabinet's worth of bathroom cleaning products. Anyway, he was aimlessly wandering through the store, doing his usual stupid thing. However, (insert epic kind of music here) fate had cast another card into Joey's somewhat pointless life, for he was the chosen someone to inherit the great legacy of the most ancient and mystical artifacts known to man, THE EGGPLANT OF THE BRAWN!
Yes, the Eggplant of the Brawn, which grants courage, charisma, and great power to any man who higher powers find worthy of its power. The Eggplant of the Brawn was held by many great people throughout history, the conqueror Charlemagne, Elizabeth I, George Washington, Arnoled Shmitnick, who lives on a small drive in Surry, so many great names…and it was now going to passed down to a complete fool.
"OW!" said Joey, banging into a vegetable stand in the middle of the mall, which had an old lady as the salesperson. She looked more like a witch, with a crooked figure, yellow, crooked teeth, and one eye that was constantly twitching.
"Hello young man," said the old lady. "Would you be interested in a common vegetable of your choice?"
"SWEET!" said Joey, looking at all the vegetables in various boxes owned by the elderly lady. His dark but incredibly vacant brown eyes scanned over all matters of vegetables in the cart, passed the cucumbers and the lettuce and the tomatoes-
"TOMATOES ARE FRUITS, NOT VEGETABLES!" someone screamed right next to the cart, but he got dragged away by the 'Literary Impossibility Police'.
"HOLY CRUD!" said Joey, pointing to one eggplant in the cart. "THAT EGGPLANT'S GLOWING!"
"Arg, that be a special eggplant, the Eggplant of the Brawn…" said the elderly old lady. "Normally I don't give away mystical artifacts to idiots who just happen to bump into my cart, but since I hate you, I'll let you have it for…one worthless piece of metal."
"MAKE IT TEN!" screamed Joey.
"Whatever," said the old woman, handing Joey the eggplant, as Joey handed over ten pieces of worthless metal.
"THANK YOU OLD HAG!" said Joey, but the second he did, he felt his body being pumped with courage, charisma, ambition, power, and everything he needed to bring the world to an age of peace, prosperity, and justice. However, the one thing it forgot to give him was intelligence.
"PONIES ROCK!" screamed Joey.
"There you are Joey!" said Serenity, running over to him with Mai, carrying a few small bags. "Why the heck did you crash through the ceiling?"
"Uuuuuuuuh…" Joey said stupidly.
"Never mind, let's just go find the other two," said Serenity.
---ooo---
"Dude, we really should have our own story," said Mobster, sitting on the roof with Spirit and Seta. "We have everything. Talent…wit…appeal…"
"Hey! The scene just switched back to us!" said Seta.
"Oh, right," said Mobster, standing up with Spirit, as did Seta. "ALRIGHT! For flooring our future husbands-kids we're babysitting, causing them possible trauma, pain, and nasty boo-boos, I sentence you to the worst butt whooping we can dish out!"
"MY BEST FRIENDS!" screamed Seta, pulling out a pink chainsaw with little yellow flowers all over it.
"Stop it! STOP IT ALL OF YOU!" screamed Double S, of whom he and ASV had just managed to make it in time. "Why do we have to all be so violent? Why can't we all just get along?"
"Yeah, plus update day's on the clock, and we're running out of time," said ASV. "This is getting way out of hand, so as a member of the Agency of Conciences, Guiding Voices, and Miracle Workers (cough in training cough), I'm afraid I'm going to have…to put…why are you looking at us like that…"
"Small British Person…" Mobster drooled.
"Chibi Seto…" Spirit drooled.
"New best friends…" Seta drooled.
"Can we run now?" asked Double S to ASV.
"Yeah, we probably should…" said ASV, as he and his companion ran away screaming at the top of their lungs as they were chased by the three over the rooftops.
---ooo---
"They WHAT?" asked Serenity, looking at a blank-looking Seto.
"Removed his brain," said Ryo. "They had a warrant."
"Well, at least we all managed to get back together," said Mai, as all five sat down exhausted in the apartment on things that weren't destroyed by Seta's appearance, except for Seto, who was just standing there blankly. "Boy, where the heck are those babysitters? I'm going to give them a piece of my mind when they come back! Someone's going to pay for this whole in the ceiling, and it ain't going to be-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed ASV and Double S at the top of their lungs, hopping through the hole in the roof, past the wreckage, and out the door.
"WAIT! BRITISH PERSON! COME BACK!" screamed Mobster, chasing after them.
"SEEEEETOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Spirit, following them as well.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Seta, chasing after them too. All the others just stared at the door where they all ran out, completely awestruck.
"On the bright side, they didn't come to get paid…" said Mai.
---ooo---
"Hello, and welcome to Day Two of the Three Day DDR tournament!" said Johney Roma, who was back in the commentary box. "I am NOT a mob leader, and we once again have a beautiful day for the tournament! This tournament was sponsored by Food. Food, it's what the cool people are eating!"
"And I'm here too!" said Mobster, who was in the chair next to him.
"Which negates many people's belief in a merciful God," said Johney. "Anyway, back to the tournament. While there's no clear way to tell who's going to win today, we took a recent entry poll for people's thoughts, and we have a one hundred percent result for 'It's none of your business you nosy, bug eyed creep. Go die'."
"That's what I voted for," said Mobster. "Anyway, for a field report, here's Yugi Motou, the Wicked, Oppressive Dictator of Munchkinland!"
"Thank's Mobster!" said Yugi, who was next to the DDR platform. "Today is going to be a major turning point in the game folks! If Serenity wins, she will win the tournament! If Pegasus wins, then tomorrow will be the tensest game in DDR history! The attendance count for today's game has doubled from what it was yesterday, and today's bets are now Serenity 350-1, a 150 point drop, and Pegasus still 2-1. Pegasus hasn't commented on the tournament so far, but let's talk to one of Serenity's associates!"
"I'm glad you got your brain back Tooth Fairy!" Joey said cheerfully to Seto.
"Shut up Mutt," said Seto.
"He'll work!" said Yugi, walking right up to Seto. "Mr. Kaiba, it has been rumored that you are a heartless jerk with no respect for anyone whatsoever who would probably pound me to a pulp if I wasn't on television. Would you like to comment at all on the game?"
"Go away," said Seto darkly.
"Are you sure?" Yugi asked brightly.
"Go away," Seto said in an angrier tone.
"Who do you think's going to win?" asked Yugi.
"It's none of your business you nosy, bug eyed creep. Go die," said Seto, walking away.
"There's another one!" Yugi said cheerfully.
"Indeed…" said Johney, back in the commentary box.
"Well, the game is just about to start! But before we get to deep into that," she held up a blurry picture of Double S, "I am offering fifty dollars for any information on the whereabouts of this British Person. If you have any information, please call the number on your screen!"
"Oh no, she's onto me…" said Double S in the stands behind Serenity.
"Did she say fifty dollars?" asked ASV.
"Must get winny thoughts into my head…" said Serenity, this time wearing a pair of denim shorts and a three quarter sleeved 'upside down' shirt. "If I win this, I never have to suffer another weird chapter again. It can be all over…"
"GO SERENITY!" said Ryo, right in her ear, which freaked her out.
"YAY SERENITY!" said Joey, jumping onto the DDR platform with a pair of pom-poms, leaping and screaming chants of the stupid sort to cheer Serenity on. A nasty side effect of the Eggplant of the Brawn? Joey just being an idiot? Or something more sinister? I vote for the second…
"It appears they've brought out the cheerleaders," said Mobster, observing Joey's behavior.
"Cheerleader," said Johney Roma. "And it looks like the second string…"
"Get down here Mutt," said Seto, grabbing his arm and pulling him so violently that he landed flat on his face.
"WOW! It hurts down here!" said Joey.
"I don't know why that made me feel better, but it did…" said Serenity, as she started to climb back on the DDR platform, not tripping on the stairs this time, which is always a good sign.
"May the best…person win," said Serenity to Pegasus, who was also on the DDR platform.
"To you too," said Pegasus, as they both got on their platform, and Serenity got strapped into the harness thing again. The screen lit up, and 'Smoke on the Water' started to play. Game two had begun.
"Nice start for both of them!" said Mobster. "And boy, do those two look like they brought their A-game today! I tell you, you can almost feel like they both are giving it there all-OH! Fantastic combo by Pegasus!"
"I'll say," said Johney Roma. "I suppose it's only-nice save for Serenity!-only natural. Pegasus is giving it his all because he knows if he doesn't win this one, he'll lose the tournament. Serenity's-SHE STUCK IT!-she's fighting because she knows that if she wins this one, she'll win it all!"
Serenity was doing her hardest to make sure she hit every arrow. One miss meant certain loss, considering that Pegasus was making sure that he hit every one as well. Left, right, down, right, up, left, right, up, down, left, down, right, over and over again in unseen patterns and layers.
Pegasus was working his hardest (I can't help getting scary mental pictures with the thought of Peggy on DDR). He underestimated Serenity once, and it cost him the round. Now he was flooring every arrow with as much veteran ability he could muster. But Serenity's charisma could prove to be a major kink in his plan, especially if she pulled such a fantastic move in the bonus round again.
Serenity was nailing everything with absolute grace born from confidence that she was going to be the winner. When someone has the little voice at the back of their head screaming 'I'm winning! I'm winning!', nothing can go wrong.
Oh so she thought.
It was perfect. The green 'bonus' light flashed overhead, and Serenity grabbed her harness, ready to perform a jump for the side wall once she saw a combo light up on the screen. And at last, she saw one. She grabbed the harness, flipped around-
-but in midair, she froze.
She had a look upon her face of unpleasant surprise, as if she just saw something terrible. Then, before anyone could wonder what on Earth happened, she slowly tilted backward, spiraling clumsily, almost awkwardly, to the ground, rolling down, nearly to the edge of the platform, stopping right at the end of the bar.
She didn't get up.
---ooo---
SCORES
Pegasus: 497
Serenity:163
Round Two Winner: Pegasus
---ooo---
NOT ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO!
Anyway, in today's character rant, we're going to do something a little different. We're going to look at the 'Saving Graces' of the story. No matter how bad a chapter is, when these characters appear in it, somehow, everything ends up okay. Yep, it's The Dream Tweens! MUA HA! They're powers of annoyance and trouble causing have scared many a nation in my early fan fics, and now, their back to make waves again!
Mobster
It's kind of ironic that Mobster comes first in this, because in Dream Tween terms, she comes last alphabetically, first in the story, last in the popularity contest, and first in my heart. I have no idea what I just said. I don't really blame her for being beat by the two boys though. Her competition was Chibi Seto and Chibi Ryo.
Anyway, I always wanted to bring her somehow, someway into the story, realizing the challenge of getting people hooked on her. The original Mobster character was not only the only Dream Tween to keep her actual name, but also, she's extremely hyper, funny, and she goes out of her way to make Seto's life miserable (I still see hints of that every now and then). But when I created the character Johney Roma after my Dad, for some reason, I wanted to model her new personality after my Mom. Why? I don't know. I must have been sugar high.
I really like the original Mobster, because she kind of reminds me of when I was a kid (way too much energy, loves to get into trouble, made the kitchen explode that one time), but I like the Mobster in this story too, because she reminds me of my Mom. The original Mobster isn't British obsessed though (thankfully). She's her own branch of weird, and that's why I like her (Ha ha!).
ASV
What a kid, what a kid, what a kid.
Anyway, let's get started. ASV is one that really made a splash when he showed up. It seemed like every review I got was 'we luv you ASV!' 'Go ASV!' you get the idea. I'm sure he has a fan club somewhere. But really, I can't blame them. He's the perfect balance of cute and a naturally funny personality. He's the smartest of the trio, and while he's not as smart as Seto, I like to think that he has a little more basic common sense (it seems like Seto's got less wisdom with age instead of more. Weird).
Anyway, his original name is Double G, like I mentioned. I think the biggest difference in his personality differences between ASV and his original form is that Double G has more of a trust problem (who can blame him?), and he's not a keen on Double S as he is in the story. In fact, when the original Double S showed up, he didn't like him at all.
Hee hee (hugs ASV plushie) I wuv you too!
Double S
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw KAWAII! SO CUTE! (hugs insanely)
Double S is cutsie. No avoiding it. And ultimately, as I've mentioned earlier, his personality, I think, I've nailed the best. So I am proud! Sort of. It's kind of sad that no one got a chance to ever see a Chibi Ryo in the Anime. It would make mental image creating a lot easier for some of the readers. It took me a long time drawing him before I ultimately made 'the' Double S. He's got hair a little sorter than Ryo's just barely to his shoulders, he loves to wear a really long dress shirt, soft blue pants, and white sneakers. He dresses school casual, kind of like ASV now that I think about it.
Double S's original name was Ghost Boy. I didn't think I was going to bring him into the story at all, so I gave Ryo the super hero name 'Ghost Boy' (this was back in the days when I didn't know how to think up good names for my characters. Ghost Boy does sound weird, doesn't it?). I think there's something special between the original character and the original Mobster (not romance) because his shy personality responds with great respect to Mobster's outward personality, and Mobster has a respectful feeling to his sensibility. But like I said, he and ASV's original had a strained relationship for a looooong time, nearly a whole book.
I'm so glad I brought him into the story. I know kind of wish I brought him in earlier so everyone could get to know him a little better. Oh well…
PREMIERE: The worst has happened; Serenity has lost round two! Now, with the most difficult and dangerous DDR game coming up, Serenity needs to make a fast recovery, and the others have to figure out what happened fast! So Seto and Ryo go on a desperate mission into Pegasus's inner sanctum to find some answers to the mystery at hand! Will Serenity win the DDR Tournament? Is and was there foul play involved in the game? Will Joey's mystical piece of produce actually save the day? No way, it can't be…find out in heart-stopping, second-to-last-episode of 'The Wizard of Cuz!'
Good night, da-da-da da! Sleep tigh, da-da-da da! And pleasant dreeeeeams to you…
