The Saturn Adept

(Complete with boring title, unoriginal plot, and painful Mary Sue x Isaac action!)

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A/N:

Considering I'm writing some of these chapters in advance (Don't need y'all coming after me with pitchforks and the like), I have no idea as of now what kind of response you will/do have about this fic... But I'm still wishing for that sk8trgurrl or other to review and make an idiot of herself. Gotta love badfic writers, mmyes?

And Xanaeya? Write enough of your own fantasy fiction, and names like that will come up within five seconds of thought. XD There might be more Sues/Stus in the near future... Actually, count on it!

OMG CHARACTER DEATH. :O

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"A Saturn Adept! You don't say!"

"Yes, a Saturn Adept. One who claims -- er, IS the the guardian of the Saturn Lighthouse (how did we miss out on that one?), is the last of her kind, and has Isaac slobbering all over her."

"What?" Kraden, who had been pacing back and forth, whirled around to face her. "What was that?"

"What was what? That this girl has Isaac drooling over her beautiful curves?"

"No! Before that!"

"She's the last of her kind?"

"YES! THAT! She is the last of her kind!"

"So she says..." Jenna muttered boredly, fingering the cuff of her shirt. "I personally don't believe anything that comes out of her mouth at all -- "

"She's the last! Then I must examine her promptly!" Kraden exclaimed, grabbing some random books off a nearby shelf and racing out, grabbing Jenna as he flew past. She yelped as she was dragged along by an old man that could run awfully fast for his age.

"Let go of me, Kraden! Y-you're ruining my outfit!" Jenna shouted as she stumbled and heard a seam snap somewhere. Well, at least he's doing what I want him to, she thought. But ruining my skirt in the process of doing so is so unnecessary... "Kraden, if you don't let go, I'm going to -- "

Whump. Kraden let go of Jenna suddenly, and she tripped, landing hard on her knees. Wincing and opening her mouth to give the elder a good talking-to, she noticed that Kraden had stopped dead in his track, his own mouth open wide, and his books falling to the ground, unnoticed.

"Huh?" Our heroine asked blankly.

"A Saturn Adept..." Kraden said, obviously in awe. Jenna raised an eyebrow.

"Um, yeah."

"I must speak with her!" Kraden declared, flying down the stone staircase near them with incredible agility, forgetting his books and Jenna in his excitement.

"Old men... So easily excitable.." Jenna muttered, picking herself up and glancing down at the books. "He might need those..." She sighed, and reached down to pick up one. She found it extremely hard to pick up, despite the fact it looked no longer than one of her novels, if only a bit larger in length. After several attemps to pick the book up, she left it and the remaining tomes there, and walked down the steps slowly.

She could see Kraden running circles around Xanaeya -- not that she pitied the blonde brat. But, wait... What was that?

Isaac...?

"Isaac! Put down your sword!" Jenna screamed, jumping down the remaining six or so steps, racing over to stop the insane hero from stabbing Kraden so full of holes, he'd resemble cheese. "Kraden's not doing anything bad by talking to her!"

Even though she's not responding at all, Jenna thought darkly.

"i must protecct the 1 i luv," he told her, blue eyes narrowed. Jenna stared back, understandably horrified.

"Uh..." She managed to utter, trying to get the strange words that had come out of his mouth to register in her mind. "...At any rate," Jenna said after some time, realizing her efforts to translate drooling!Isaac-speak were in utmost vain, "you shouldn't kill Kraden."

"Get out of the way jena," Isaac said -- or was it a command? Jenna stared. WHAT had he just called her? "i hav to protect xaneaya!"

"...Pardon?" She asked, blinking.

Behind her, Jenna heard metal ringing as it came out of its sheath. She whirled around and saw Xanaeya holding up her katana, Rising Dawn or whatever it was. With a carefully neutral face, the Saturn Adept drove the katana through Kraden's chest.

Jenna screamed.

"How could you?" She wailed, shoving Xanaeya aside roughly. Jenna actually didn't touch her, as she backflipped nimbly out of the way. Isaac rushed over to her. The Mars Adept didn't know or didn't care, however, as she was staring at Kraden. He seemed to have frozen exactly when the katana had been stabbed through him -- enchantment in his eyes, his mouth open while asking a question, one hand poised in a scholarly fashion. Jenna let out a long, low squeak when she saw Kraden become stone before her very eyes, the same expression still on his granite face.

"K-Kraden..." She whimpered, reaching up to touch his face. Right before her fingers brushed the stone, however, he crumbled into little bits. The pieces blew away with the wind, leaving Jenna standing, her hand still reaching out to him, though spasmodically twitching.

"I have done the world a justice." she heard Xanaeya say, and Jenna could distantly hear Isaac respond in some sort of gleeful fashion in his strange new language.

"You!" Jenna said sharply as she turned around, hearing Xanaeya begin to walk away. "W-why did you do that!"

The other girl turned slightly to look back at her, platinum blonde bangs blowing away from her pale face in the chill wind to reveal chill blue eyes.(1) "I have moments like that."

"Where you randomly kill people!" Jenna shrieked, infuriated and most confused with the Saturn Adept. Xanaeya gave her a little shrug and padded away, Isaac following her like a love-struck stray puppy.

Once the left to areas unknown, Jenna remained at the plaza, sitting next to Garet, who now stared wistfully in the direction Xanaeya had left.

"Garet, what do I do now?"

"She's pretty..." Garet said dumbly. Jenna noticed with disgust that there was a thin trail of drool down one side of his chin, and she sighed, turning her face away.

"Yeah, whatever." The female Mars Adept said brusquely. "But she killed Kraden."

Ignoring his usual response of "She's pretty," Jenna considered her options. She could still get Mia -- but what would Mia be able to do? Jenna knew Mia had a crush on Isaac, but seeing Isaac drooling over Xanaeya would probably wreck her poor heart. But then that left Ivan, Sheba and Picard. (2) She knew by this point that because Xanaeya had left Isaac and Garet dumbstruck and hopeless with love, the boys would be of no use. That meant Sheba. Though Sheba was intelligent, Jenna was sure she wouldn't know what to do in a situation like this.

Unless... Unless...

Due to some strange plothole, Menardi and Karst were still alive. (3) And due to some other strange plothole, Jenna realized this. She got to her feet, this time determined not to get off track -- she could lose more people if she did. Giving Garet a hard kick in the shin before she left, Jenna stalked away, still fuming with righteous anger.

Xanaeya would never know what hit her...

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Jenna teleported into Prox a short time later, bundled up in a jacket she had remembered to put on before moving Psynergetically. Putting the Lapis in a pocket, she hunched over, trying to remember she was a Mars Adept, and therefore, not supposed to feel this cold, but failed miserably. After knocking on a few doors, Jenna came to the residence of Menardi and Karst, and couldn't help but feel a little bit nervous. Menardi had helped in kidnapping her, and Karst had fought her, so her fear wasn't unjustified. But her asking them for help was for a good reason, right?

"Jenna?" was the first thing out of Menardi's mouth when she opened the door to said girl's incessant pounding. "What are you doing here?"

"Long story. Let me in, please?"

With a quizzical look, the Proxian lady opened the door enough for Jenna to scamper in. The house was deliciously warm (odd sounding, Jenna thought, but it fit), and after putting up her jacket on a hook, followed Menardi into the main room, where Karst lounged in a chair, reading a book.

"Karst, we have a guest."

"We d – oh, you." Karst said, rolling her eyes and shutting her book. Sitting up properly, she asked, "What do you want, Jenna?"

"I – no, wait, Vale. Vale has a problem."

"Yeah, and what else is new?"

"There's this girl that claims to be a Saturn Adept. She has Isaac at her beck and call, and Garet stands at the plaza twenty-four seven, staring after her in the direction she left. I was hoping you could help, since... Mia and Sheba don't really seem to be much of an option, right now."

"Jenna," Karst sighed, "we have our own problems here in Prox."

Jenna gasped. "You have your own unreal Adepts running around, too?"

"There's some Pluto Adept Saturos is fawning over," Karst said dryly, smirking slightly at her sister's hurt look. "Fortunately enough for us, Saturos has enough admirers here in Prox that his fans are making her life hell."

"But...will you help me?" Thinking that maybe they needed more persuasion, she searched her brain for things that could possibly encourage them to help. "She... She killed Kraden!"

"Old man was a pest, anyways," Menardi said, twirling a lock of hair around one finger.

"Uh, uh..." Jenna considered everything else. "She has a katana for a weapon and her name is Xanaeya."

"Xanaeya?" Karst perked up. "Her name is Xanaeya?"

"...Uh, yeah, it is." Why was this so important to her? Jenna wondered.

One eyebrow was twitching. "What kind of name is Xanaeya?"

Jenna was tempted to ask what kind of name is Karst?, but she wisely decided not to.

"Xanaeya... Gah! You know what, Jenna?" The other girl eeped. "I'm going to help you, just because I can't stand that name in itself! It drives me absolutely nuts!"

Well, okay. At least she got one recruit. Jenna turned to Menardi, a hopeful look in her eyes.

"Well..." She seemed hesitant. Jenna tried a pout. It didn't seem to affect the Proxian that much, though.

"I'll help you, Jenna, because I know what it's like, seeing these random girls popping up from no where, claiming ties to nonexistent elements, and making the boys sound undeniably stupid."

Jenna wasn't sure if she could even attempt to imagine Saturos a drooling puddle of a Proxian warrior. Much less Agatio, for that matter.

"All right!" She cheered. "Thanks so much, you two! It means a lot to me. I want the old Isaac and Garet back... The ones that weren't obsessed with staring at this new girl's cleavage all the time."

That only seemed to increase Karst's anger even more. "Cleavage? Oh, so she has nice curves, too, huh? Why that little -- "

"Now, that's just being unfair, Karst," Menardi said coolly, leaning forward as she smirked, staring straight into her sister's angry eyes. "You're only saying that because you have no cleavage."

"Menardi, h-how could -- you're -- why...!" Karst sputtered, her hands fisted before her. Jenna could swear she saw some fangs... "Jenna, let's just go!"

"Um... Yeah." Jenna mumbled, stepping forward. "You'll have to hold onto my arm or something... There needs to be direct contact in order for all of us to teleport."

Karst stomped over and gripped her shoulder in one hand. Jenna winced. The other girl seemed not to notice her pain at all, glaring a hole into the far wall. Menardi rose from her seat and calmly laid a hand on Jenna's forearm. Jenna whispered Vale to the Lapis, and they disappeared from Menardi and Karst's home and reappeared at the gates of her suddenly trouble-laden hometown.

It was only after Karst had flat-out charged at the supposed Saturn Adept, screaming like a homicidal wild boar, that Jenna realized she had left her coat at Prox.

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"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Menardi hissed to Jenna, as they stood off to the side, watching Karst and Xanaeya battle.

Karst was taking deep, heaving breaths as she held her scythe in one hand (It had miraculously appeared at her side once they had teleported), numerous cuts and bruises scattered over her body. Xanaeya, on the other hand, had sustained little to no damage, holding her katana before her. Her jade eyes were narrowed fiercely.

"You cannot hope to win against me!" Xanaeya declared, whipping her katana around, then throwing it into the air and catching it, striking a dramatic pose. Jenna choked.

"go xaneayaaaaa!11" Isaac cheered from a short distance away from Xanaeya, jumping up and down excitedly. Menardi glared at him, most disturbed.

"Yeah, yeah. I've heard it all before." Karst gasped for air, switching her scythe to her other hand. Her red eyes were narrow slits. "You're going to taste metal, you pansy wench!"

Xanaeya gave a haughty chuckle, then disappeared. Karst looked wary, glancing left and right. With a fierce battle cry, Xanaeya appeared behind Karst, high over her. Menardi gave a surprised gasp as Jenna shut her eyes, afraid of what could happen a second time.

The blade soared downwards. If it hit, it would have spliced Karst's back open.

Except, you know, somebody had to intervene.

A loud screech of metal made Karst turn around, her eyes wide and being caught off-guard. Someone had leaped at Xanaeya from the side, and the assassin, being lighter than the sudden intruder, was thrown to the ground from the impact. Isaac screamed and ran over to check for any (non-existent) injuries. Jenna blinked. Ignoring Isaac's cries of "omg r u hurtt! omg speak 2 meeeee!11", she turned to the man that had saved Karst's life.

Oh, no. Her common sense groaned.

"Thanks for saving Karst and everything, but who are you?" Jenna asked, glancing at Karst, who lay flat on the ground, scythe next to her, as she panted for air.

The man grinned cockily, running a tongue quickly over his lips. One of Jenna's eyebrows went up. "My name's Syruss, missy."

Was it just her, or was Menardi staring at Syruss as though he were the most divine thing she had ever laid eyes on? Her eyes narrowing in suspicion, Jenna said haltingly, "My name's... Jenna."

Syruss seemed to ignore her from that point on, turning around to speak with Menardi exclusively. Menardi appeared to have fallen under a spell, her eyes sparkling. And, she was stammering. That was not a characteristic of Menardi's. Never had been. Jenna knew; she had traveled with the woman a little over a year.

"Karst?" She called, turning to the fallen Proxian warrioress. "You okay?"

"Do I look okay, Jenna?" Karst responded, her tone harsh. She managed to sit up, a frown on her face.

"What's with the guy?"

"Saved you. I'm automatically assuming he's another one of them." Jenna sighed, walking over to Karst and kneeling. "You want me to heal you?"

"Mmph." The red-eyed girl huffed. Jenna rolled her eyes and cast a healing spell on her. "One of them, huh? And he's already captured the heart and mind of my dear sister. Kirin save me."

"Heh..." Jenna chuckled. "Kinda funny, we're the only ones not affected by these... these.. things."

"Probably because we're the only ones really dead-set on wiping them out." Karst snarled, suddenly jumping up. Jenna blinked up at her. "My sister's weaker than I am! She's weak when it comes to handsome men!"

"What, and you aren't?"

"Men hold no reign over me," the girl said angrily, bending over and snatching up her scythe. She held it so tightly her knuckles paled. "They're disgusting creatures that only take up space. Women can do without them. I know I can."

Well, Karst certainly had a few issues to sort out... Jenna didn't tell her that, either. Though the Su -- er, Xanaeya seemed immune to her attacks, Jenna was fairly sure she wasn't.

As she watched Menardi and Syruss talk, she noticed Menardi did seem overly animated. She was sure Menardi hadn't been like that around Saturos when she had travelled with them... Odd. Hopefully, though, Menardi wouldn't speak like Isaac would... She needed to know about this Syruss fellow, learn something about him... Find a way to possibly destroy him...

"Well, I must be going, now, dearest Menardi," Jenna heard Syruss say. She made a face, and knew Karst had to be, too. "Keep this." He handed her a stone. "If you are ever in trouble, it will know. I'll see you soon, hopefully... Farewell!" He pressed a kiss to her forehead, then took a small jump backwards, dissolving into nothing.

Jenna knew some muscle near her eyebrow was twitching. She just knew there was.

"How disgusting," Karst muttered as she went over to her older sister. "How could you, Menardi?"

Menardi responded with a sigh, her hands clasped the stone before her. The glimmer in her eyes did not seem to fade at all.

"He's so...so...perfect..." The older Proxian woman said, a goofy smile on her face.

"I think giving a rock to you was lame," Jenna told her, getting up and going over to the two of them. "Not a necklace or anything -- "

"It's a beautiful stone!" Menardi snapped. A frown was on her face, and her eyebrows were furrowed together in sudden resentment. Jenna backed away a step. Then, the silly smile and twinkling eyes returned, and Menardi stared at the stone in her hands. "It's gorgeous... You can see the world in its depths..."

Karst muttered that sounded rather like "It's opaque, genius..." but Menardi apparently did not hear her. Jenna stared.

"So Garet, Isaac and Menardi have been struck... They're probably aiming for us next, Karst." Jenna said sadly, turning to her only remaining companion.

"Yeah, yeah. Menardi, what element did he say he was?"

"Neptune.." Her sister said in a high voice.

"That explains the bloody blue-green hair..." Karst said, glaring in the general direction the man had disappeared.

"It's not blue-green!" Menardi shrieked. "It's..." She sighed dreamily. "Aquamarine... The color of the sea..."

"The sea's awfully murky, though..." Jenna said in a whisper to Karst. Karst rolled her eyes.

"You think she's going to realize that, after being hit by Cupid's arrow?"

"Good point..."

"He's so kind... Karst, you should be more grateful." Menardi said, clenching the stone tightly in her hands. "He saved your life after all!"

"Psh. He could've come and talked with me, then." Karst replied, wrinkling her nose.

"He has gorgeous silver eyes..." Menardi continued, sighing every other several seconds -- maybe to accentuate her point? Jenna mused.

"Silver? Don't you mean grey?" Karst asked, one eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"No, not grey. Silver. Silver." She was close to having a seizure, Jenna was sure, if Karst kept on pointing these little facts out to her.

"Ugh," Karst spat, now thoroughly disgusted with her sister.

"And Syruss... That's a gorgeous name..."

Thankfully -- or possibly unfortunately -- Menardi's rant about Syruss was cut short when Xanaeya walked up, katana resting on its dull side on her shoulder.

"Syruss was my former lover." She told them, gazing at them all in turn. Menardi stared back at her blankly, Karst glared, and Jenna blinked. "We were unable to continue our relationship because we were of separate elements, and where we come from – " here, Karst gagged audibly, " – we aren't allowed to inter-marry. So he left to travel, and soon after, I too left, to seek a better life for myself. But because he saved you from me," Xanaeya said, staring evenly at Karst, who looked as though she wanted to bite the Saturn Adept, "I should say we are now enemies."

Jenna blinked. After several moments of silence, she said, "Wait, what?"

"Syruss and I are now enemies. I have no qualms with you being his lover, Menardi," Xanaeya said, giving the blonde Proxian a slight smile. Menardi beamed back. Karst wanted to stab herself, Jenna knew, by the way the redhead was fidgeting. "I would not intrude upon true love. Just be careful."

With that, Xanaeya turned on her heel and retreated to wherever she did at the end of the day, Isaac following her, loyal as always.

"Er..." Jenna started, one loosely fisted hand pressed to her lips.

"GAAH!" Karst screamed, pulling at her hair. "What are we going to do?"

"I... I don't know..."

"I hope Syruss comes back soon..." Menardi said dazedly, rocking back and forth. Karst shot her sister a glare, then stomped away. After a moment of inner debate, Jenna ran after Karst.

Oh, what to do?

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END CHAPTER TWO

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Wow, I'm really surprised (and pleased) with myself. I got this chapter done in two days, and look at its length! Yay...

(1) – Sues have color-changing eyes. ;D I demonstrated so right here! (Emerald green to chilly blue eyes!)

(2) – Note than in some stories, Suethors suddenly and for no good reason at all leave out characters. Though it pained me much to do so, I left out Felix, because a good Suethor would, too. And why are Menardi and Karst alive? Because in Sue!fics, dead characters tend to be alive, too. ;p Menardi is OOC because that's what Sues/Stus tend to do to canon charas.

BTW -- Syruss is actually a villain from one of my other works of fiction, except in that, his name is Sirus, and he's not a Stu. I really hope he isn't, at any rate... He's an obsessive stalker of the main protaganist.

And he has grey eyes. Not silver, for goodness's sakes...

I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot of the comments I thought up of while writing, but eh, whatever.

Review, lovelies!

-Azu

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