I got the "Protect Your Nuts" t-shirt at Target.
Chapter Four – The Library
Janice whistled and tapped her foot as the boat sailed down the river. Fred was sitting next to her in the top seat, being the last one to climb into the boat.
"Do. . . the mice do that often?" Fred quietly asked Janice.
"Well, it depends I suppose. If it's called for, yes." Janice reached into her pocket and pulled out a Tupperware. She then proceeded open the Tupperware and revealed a taco. She handed it to Fred. "You better eat it before I change my mind. That was my lunch."
"Thank. . . thank you!" Fred immediately brightened up and crunched quietly into the taco with sheer delight. Janice looked around and saw Cordelia staring up at her.
"What!" Janice stared back.
"Who's driving the boat?"
"I dunno." Janice shrugged and looked straight ahead again. "Oh, look! The furniture room!" She pointed to it as they passed by. "That's the room where we enchant furniture to eat people! The unsuspecting victim. . ." Janice whispered and then paused before yelling, ". . . of a murderous couch! It sucks you in between the cushions where you then live and die with the crap that gets stuck under couch cushions!"
Everyone sitting below stared up at the girl worriedly except for Fred who was almost done eating. When she finished, Fred licked her fingers off and burped silently.
"That was very good."
"Don't mention it." Janice nodded slightly.
""But really, I. . ."
"No, really. Don't mention it." Janice pointed to Angel, Wesley and Cordelia. "If you do, everyone will want one." She whispered in Fred's ear.
"Okay. Sorry."
"No need for apologies." Janice stood, shaking the boat. "STOP!" she bellowed and the boat stopped so forcefully that Angel, who wasn't holding on, went flying out of the boat and landed with a splash in the river. "Did you not hear me say 'stop'?" Janice looked at the now soaked Angel when they were all on dry land.
The group walked to a large metal door with the words "LIBRARY" over head.
"your library must be huge!" Wesley sidled up next to Janice.
"Yeah, I guess. Welcome to the library. Before I open the door I must remind you of the "look don't touch" rule your friend broke. You see with your eyes, not with your hands." Janice slipped the key into the lock and the door swung open.
Every wall in the room was a bookshelf and books were stuffed in every nook and cranny of the shelves leaving no room for anything else. A long, shiny wooden table was placed neatly in the center of the room and chairs were randomly placed around.
"Amazing!" Wesley pushed inside first, everyone following short after. They all began perusing the shelves and asking questions.
"I thought they stopped making this book!" Fred pointed to a thick leather covered book at eye level.
"They did. This is the only copy left." Janice pulled it from the shelf and flipped to any page. "Oh, fudge."
"What?"
"No, look. I got fudge on this page. It took me a minute to figure out what it was is all." Janice pointed to the dark brown spot before awkwardly throwing the book back on the shelf.
"You got FUDGE on the only and last copy of that book!" she yelped and then covered her mouth.
"Oh, calm down." Janice rolled her eyes.
"My lord!" Wesley gasped and pointed to an amazingly thick book sitting on the table. Everyone crowded around Wesley and Janice.
"Ah yes. The Book of Everything. It has, well, everything about Black magic and who practices it on it's pages. Not quite perfected yet though."
Wesley didn't listen and picked up the heavy book. Janice tried to pull it away, but it was too late and Wesley opened it.
"Amazing. . ." Wesley gasped.
"Please, put that down! It's not quite finished. . ." Janice begged.
"I've never even heard of this species before. . ." Wesley flipped a page.
"That's great! Put it down." Janice moaned and stomped her feet. Suddenly, Cordelia gasped. The words started falling off the page and settling themselves on Wesley. Everyone backed away.
"What is happening!" Angel yelled.
"I tried telling you! The words keep leaving the pages and going other places." Janice explained.
"How do we get them off?" Fred cried.
"I don't know yet."
"We have to take him with us!" Angel went to walk over to Wesley as words began traveling up his neck to his face. Janice pulled Angel back.
"He would slow us down. We'll let the mice take care of him." Janice pointed to the mice who were lining up in formation on the table. Everyone backed away a little more towards the door as music began. The mice began dancing and singing again. . .
Listen close, and listen hard, the tale of Wesley Wyndam-Pryce.
The skillful man he sees no wrong...
Research, research, research, research, research, research all day long.
research, research all day long.
research, research all day long.
research, research all day long.
He goes on searching till at last, his finger muscles grow so fast.
And from his tip, a paper cut, hurts just like a punctured gut...
research, research all day long.
research, research all day long.
research, research all day long.
For years and years he reads away, his hands get stronger every day.
And with one great tremendous turn...they rip the poor man's page in two.
And that is why we try so hard, to save Mr. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce.
research, research all day long.
research, research all day long.
research, research all day long.
Janice, Cordelia, Angel and Fred walked carefully out of the room and the door slammed behind them.
"Well, that was entertaining. Looks like we're walking to the next room." Janice sighed and motioned for everyone to continue forward.
"What's the next room?" Angel asked as they walked.
"The Jewel Room." Janice stated.
"The jewel what?" Cordelia brightened up.
You like the songs so far? Gunn and Angel's were the hardest to change and Cordelia and Wesley's were the easiest. Go figure.
