Disclaimer: I don't own Mutant X or X Men

Imaginary Friend

Chapter 21

In the computer center, Brennan paced. "I don't understand. How is he just sitting there, going to help her more than me?" Adam had turned on the internal security monitors that were linked to every room in Sanctuary. From there they could watch whatever would happen.

"Brennan, please try to understand." Evie implored. "She's afraid of you. I know it hurts but you can't help her…not right now."

"But why would she be afraid of me? I've never…would never give her any reason to be! She knows that!"

"Brennan, sit down," Adam ordered. He knew he had to be strong with him right now. Nothing pained him more than to see his family hurting. Physical pain he knew he could heal and they all were strong enough to deal with…but emotional…sometimes it seemed insurmountable. He sadly looked around the room.

Kitty looked up from the sleeping child in her arms. She was the newest member of this team. In the time she'd spent getting to know the man who would be her husband and his family she had come to know that no matter what she could trust Adam. Though worry for Shalimar and Brennan was in her eyes, she also tried to convey her confidence in him.

Bobby sat on the sofa rocking Nadene as she whimpered, sensing the fear around her. Adam knew Bobby's concern for his friends was there and he was grateful for the young man's help in soothing the toddler.

As he watched Brennan reluctantly oblige his request, Adam began speaking softly. "Shalimar is in a very fragile state. She's got everything twisted around right now. For a feral who relies on instinct there could be nothing worse." He turned and leaned on the computer counter as he spoke. "What I have to tell you now is very painful both to say and to hear. But it will make the situation a little more understandable." He took a deep breath and began. "When she first came out of the institution she was so afraid of everyone that I was surprised she even followed me home. The time spent there was more than traumatizing. The drugs they'd given her didn't do anything to suppress her developing powers. She was young and very frightened. When she would react they'd give her more drugs. When the drugs didn't work they tried restraints. Then she began breaking out of the restraints. They turned to beating her. After a few beatings, she submitted out of terror. Then some of the orderlies began tormenting her. They would try to agitate her just to beat her again." He paused momentarily to send an apologetic glance as Kitty gasped in shock of the story. He noticed Brennan was breathing heavily and in pain for the parts of his wife's past he'd never known about. "Her powers were emerging at an incredible rate. She was also developing into a young woman. By the time she was 14, she was very beautiful…and very deadly. One night, one of the orderlies decided…to take advantage of her." Adam nearly choked on the words.

Evie, seated beside Brennan, grabbed his wrists as his hands lifted with tendrils of his rising fury.

Adam sadly watched his son try and restrain, then continued. "He convinced one of the others to stand guard at the door while he went in. Her senses alerted her and she was awake before he closed the door behind him. She watched in terror as he…stripped and told her…what he was going to do, threatening her with the worst beating if she didn't do everything he told her." The anger that Adam alone carried all these years was now slipping his control as he cut open long covered hurts for one who trusted him with her life. "She cowered in a corner and pulled the blanket tightly around herself as a shield while fighting the urges she felt. When he reached for her and pulled the blanket away, she began to go feral. He laughed at her and tried to pull her nightgown off."

The muscles in Brennan's jaw rippled with tightness as his hands tightened on Evie's hand when she reached to comfort him. He slowly turned his head to look at her.

Evie could feel his temper getting the best of him as his agony-filled eyes silently begged her to help him. She touched her free hand to his cheek and looked into his eyes sending him the added strength he needed to be able to endure this.

Adam noticed and was grateful as he pushed on. "He trapped her and had her terrified. Completely feral, she attacked. He was dead in seconds. When his friend came in because of the noise, she attacked and killed him, too. Grabbing her clothes, she made her escape." He watched Brennan sigh in relief. "I found her a week later,…cold,…hungry and frightened of the world. I kept my distance and tried to take care of her. After about three weeks, she let me get close enough to scan her. I couldn't actually touch her until after the first two months. During that time I found that we wouldn't get anywhere with her mind in the condition it was in so I told her I could take the pain away. I brought in a psionic I had worked with before and knew I could trust. We told Shalimar that she was here to help me with my work. Whenever Shalimar was close enough, the psionic would enter her mind, unobtrusively. After about a week of contact she had an elaborate maze of blocks and triggers set up. All she needed was an extended point of contact for the final establishment. While Shalimar slept one night, she finished her work and walked me through the stages her memories would be released in. The next morning, Shalimar was like a new person. The fear and pain were gone. She was a happy teenager. It was like all her time in the institution never really happened, or so I thought…I wanted her to have some time to be happy…so I didn't start her memory recovery right away. I actually didn't start for about a year and a half. By then, Jesse had joined us. They were close. She sensed his hurts and made it her business to be his personal Florence Nightingale. By the time he finally began to settle in and get comfortable with us, they were inseparable. The only thing they did alone was shower." Adam turned to Kitty and saw her small smile. "It wasn't until after we began her sessions that I found out that she had actually retained more memory than I had thought and that she would often talk things out with Jesse. That's when I first realized how truly strong a woman she was. We began the memory reconstruction and nightmares began. Every night for a month she screamed as recurring memories tore open the pain of the past. During that time, I couldn't get anywhere near her. The memories of the night she broke out focused her fear of men on me. It was clear that during the day she was battling in her mind to overcome the irrational fear. We had had a good relationship and she trusted me. The nightmares threatened that relationship as she tried to deny their affects on her. In the middle of the night, while she screamed and cried, I couldn't stand outside the door of her room without making it worse. Her feral side became wildly uncontrollable…Jesse seemed to be an exception." Adam turned to see Jesse and Shalimar on the screen. "I don't know if was their bond or his age but she was different around him. He never feared the feral. Regardless of Shalimar's condition, he would rush to her side and in a matter of minutes had her in his arms letting her cry herself back to sleep. Afterwards I'd find him crying into his pillow for all the hurt she was going through." Adam slowly turned back.

Brennan watched the monitor with tears having broken his control over them. His heart ached to know the pain of her past…the pain that she, now, was reliving. Back then he wasn't around to comfort her. He wanted to be the one to hold her, now; comfort her, defend her and give her the shoulder to cry on. He was her husband. He was her alpha male. "Why…" he choked. "Why is she afraid of me? It should be me in the lab with her right now."

"Brennan, she's not rejecting you. It's just that she's confused right now. When I was in her mind the onslaught of images was overwhelming. I know they were misconstructed…chaotic. I saw images from the institution and images from here at home all jumbled together." Evie softly tried to explain that which she felt, but knew was completely illogical. "She was convinced that you would be angry at her for the fairytale she had supposedly duped you with. That image of you being angry carried over stronger than any of the others I'd seen. It was the one thing she feared the most. She didn't want to lose you." Evie held his hands firmly in hers; again trying to convey the strength he needed "Right now, the attack and the beatings don't mean that much to her. Having you not love her, is her worst nightmare. But…somehow…that's been warped into an irrational fear of you."

"Look…" Adam directed their attention to the monitor. "Jesse played her strength. He knows her strongest, most basic feeling for him is protection. He sat and waited her out. Now she's coming to him." They watched as Shalimar slowly made her way to Jesse's side. Slowly she climbed up on the bed beside him.

Jesse was careful not to move. She was almost to him. He needed her to abandon her fear of him and trust that he would take care of her. He knew she knew that, in the rational part of her mind, but now with all the fears and pain confusing her, he also knew she didn't know where to turn.

Shalimar was still in complete feral mode. Rationality was lost. Confusion, fear and pain were all she could see. Tired…so tired, she thought to herself. Jesse… protection…calm…quiet…rest…comfort…sleep Like a cat she crawled atop the bed beside him. Slowly, cautiously, she inched closer. Silently, she curled next to him and laid her head in his lap. Gratefully, she began to relax as he softly petted her and ran his fingers over her hair and back. Slowly her feral side receded and she began to think a little clearer. "Jesse," she sniffed as the tears began to come.

"It's ok, Shal. I'm here." He touched her shoulders and slowly moved her into his arms.

"I'm…scared, Jess."

"I know…me too."

TBC