When she awoke in the morning Lily rolled over to find an empty bed beside her. She sat up with a jolt and a piece of parchment came fluttering into her lap. Lily picked it up and studied the loopy handwriting she had seen only once before.
Dear Lily,
We need to talk; I'm already down at breakfast. Didn't want to wake you!
Hope you slept well,
Love James.
Lily frowned…we need to talk? That sentence never, ever had a good meaning. It always ended in some kind of heartache. But then again, she said to herself, he had said love James. Not from James or regards, but love! Lily frowned as she trudged tiredly back to her room.
When she entered the Great Hall for breakfast Lily found most of the school chatting excitedly about the night before. Nearly ever pair of eyes in the Hall scanned her as she entered. Immediately the loud chatter was reduced to whispers. As she walked towards the Gryffindor table and past the other houses it surprised her how absurd the context was. The stories ranged from her and James fighting ten Death Eaters at the Ravenclaw table to fifty at the Hufflepuff table. That was after the two had had a romantic encounter (according the a fifth year Hufflepuff) after turning a statue into a Portkey and then consequently returning to the fight to resume defending Hogwarts.
Lily reached the Gryffindor table finally. She found James happily seated between Felicity and Carol. Sirius and Hannah were at each other's throats. Only Remus noticed her as she slid between him and Sirius.
"Morning Lily," he greeted quietly. Felicity looked up.
"Lily!" she said brightly, "Have a good sleep did we?" Lily looked to James who had looked at her for the first time. He smiled simply and went back to his conversation with Carol.
Disappointed Lily shrugged, "yeah it was good." She muttered pouring herself some pumpkin juice. When they'd finished their breakfast Felicity pulled out her timetable.
"What do we have today?" Lily asked drumming her fingernails on the table bored. James was still in conversation with Carol, Hannah and Sirius were still at it and Remus was now chatting animatedly to Peter.
"Nothing-didn't you know? We don't have classes today; it's Saturday. Even if we did there's no point with Flitwick in the hospital wing and most of the teachers having to have meetings with the Ministry." James said speaking to her for the first time.
"Oh," Lily pondered slowly.
Was it just she or was James acting weird around her? She couldn't think of anything that had happened; if you excluded the events of the previous night, to make him cold with her. Lily frowned wondering why it was bothering her so much. She was having trouble thinking with the noise in the Hall. Grumpily she got up and headed out of the Hall.
"Hey! Where are you going?" Hannah said noticing her for the first time that morning.
Lily turned, "I'm going to get changed and then I think I'll take a walk around the lake."
"Fine! But help me with the Arithmacy stuff when you get back will you?"
"Sure," Lily said and with one last look at James she left the Hall.
"Must have something important on her mind," Carol wistfully watched Lily go.
"Why do you say that?" asked James trying to sound uninterested.
"That's where she goes to think when she's getting pulled in two directions in her mind." Carol said simply and James frowned.
After changing quickly in her bedroom Lily headed out into the brisk fall sunshine. The air was chilly and she hugged her jacket around her for warmth. There was no one else outside and she found the serene silencing relaxing. She found a spot to sit and stared blankly out at the water rippling.
"Lily?" a tentative voice asked. Lily looked up to see James standing his hands in his pockets, looking flushed having walked fast to catch up to her.
James studied Lily. She was curled into a ball and her hair was all bunched under her jumper, which made her, look positively cute.
"Yes?" she asked going to stand.
"Don't get up," he said holding a hand out. He sat beside her close enough that their arms touched.
"You said we needed to talk?" she asked shyly after a few moments of silence.
"Um yeah," James said looking to his feet. "Last night-" he began.
"Was crazy." Lily interrupted, "I mean I have no idea what compelled me to come into your room. I promise it wont-"
But James had cut her off, "Lily I wanted to talk about the Death Eaters at Hogwarts." Lily flushed red.
"Oh," she blushed, embarrassed. Then she smiled slightly.
"What are you smiling at?" he asked smiling too.
"Nothing," she said shaking her head and looking up at him. "You were so brave last night." she said finally.
"Brave? If you hadn't of cast that shield charm I would have been a goner."
"Well if you hadn't of stopped that Death Eater from using the Cruciatus curse by distracting him I would have been a goner." James smiled.
"Should we call it even?" he asked gently and Lily gave him a small smile in reply.
"What is it?" she asked James after a few more moments of silence at which he had taken the liberty to study her thoroughly.
"Just something about last night got me thinking-that's all."
"Which part?" she asked toying with the grass.
"The part where I asked you to be with me." He said quietly. Lily felt herself stiffen. "Lily I never expected; not in million years that the person I most wanted to go into battle with would be you and I never dreamed that you'd stand by me like-like a,"
"Like a what?" she asked tentatively.
"Like a friend Lily. Like a friend I've known and loved my whole life. Lily I think, well I never thought I'd say this but I think I'm falling in-"
Lily raised her hand to James mouth.
"Stop," she whispered feeling tears sting in her eyes.
Then she leant forward and kissed James softly on the lips. Never had she felt so much love, devotion and loyalty passing from one person to another as she did in that kiss. It made her heart dance for joy and made her never want to take herself away from that moment.
When they parted it was cold and Lily blushed. The sky was darkening and it looked like it may rain.
"Looks like rain," commented James vaguely.
"Yeah," Lily said swoonily standing up and dusting off her pants. James got up and they stood barely a foot apart from one another. Lily looked up at James and he raised his hand to brush the hair of her face. Lily stepped back before he could touch her.
"We should get back to the castle," she said and set off without waiting for him.
James stood stunned by the lake and after a few moments followed her. He didn't understand what had made her suddenly go cold. Was it a bad kiss? Was it too much too soon? After all she had kissed him. James felt his heart leap into his throat. She kissed me! He thought to himself. Lily Potter had kissed him!
When James reached the castle he found Sirius, Remus and Peter in the common room. Sirius and Peter were lazing about while Remus was studying his Potions book.
"Hey Prongs where'd you run off to?" Sirius asked sitting up so James could sit down. James looked at him, "And why do you have that stupid grin on your face?" Sirius asked ludicrously.
James shrugged, "I kissed Lily," he said simply.
"What!" the other three exclaimed sitting up right. James looked around to see if anyone could hear them; then proceeded to tell the story in complete detail.
"And then you just left him!" Hannah exclaimed, "Girl what were you thinking?"
"I don't know okay. One moment I was all over him and then suddenly this sweet James appeared and tried to sweep the hair off my face and I freaked." Complained Lily, her chin resting on her curled up knees. The girls were in their dormitory all cuddled up on Felicity's bed.
"He loves you Lily!" Felicity said jumping up and down. "This is so awesome because you love him!"
"I don't love him!" Lily protested, "I just kissed him!"
Carol raised her eyebrows at Hannah and then at Lily, "Oh come off it. Don't try and fool us into thinking it was just a kiss." Lily sighed.
"It doesn't matter. I've ruined things now because I am such a chicken!"
"Relax Lillikins," Felicity soothed, "We all now Potter. Right now he will be jumping up and down with Sirius beside himself because he kissed you finally. He's crazy about you."
"I kissed her! I kissed her!" James chanted wriggling in his seat happily. The other three looked at him as if he were insane.
"That's wonderful Prongs!" Peter said excitedly.
"Yeah wonderful," Remus said sour fully, "But could you please bring back our too cool for school, collected Prongs so we can have a worthwhile conversation." James threw a cushion at him.
"C'mon guys the least you could do was be happy for me." James settled back into the couches, "I mean I've wanted this since the start of school. Remember our first transfiguration class and she was the only one who beat me changing her match into a needle. I knew she was the one for me." James said dramatically and the other's laughed at him.
"You're a hopeless case!" Sirius shook his head. "But on a personal note, what was she like on a scale of one to ten?"
"10!" Felicity shrieked, "But no one has ever scored a ten!"
"I know," Lily complained, "It was just perfect timing, technique everything. Even the perfect boy…" she said trailing off. Then she buried her face in her hands, "He is never ever going to speak to me ever again!" she said as the other girls chorused with words of sympathy.
"Come off it Prongs!" Remus exclaimed, "She'll speak to you again I promise!"
"Yeah why don't you just find her and talk to her, if you leave it it'll just get awkward and weird." Peter said. James looked up from where he had tried to suffocate himself.
"Go now!" Felicity said pushing Lily out of the dormitory.
"But what if-" Lily protested, digging her heels into the stone floor.
"GO!" the others shouted. Lily looked at the sorrowfully.
"Listen Lils, he's head over heels in love with you." Carol said softly. Lily then turned and ran down the stone steps as the dormitory door slammed shut behind her.
Lily and James both entered the deserted common room at the same time. They looked breathlessly across the breach at each other. Silence prevailed for a few moments as James stood in the doorway to the boy's dormitories and Lily stood at the doorway to the girls.
"Lily," "James," they both said at the same time.
"You go first," they said again in unison stepping forward a few steps. Then awkwardly they looked away from one another.
Lily fingered the couch in front of her while James leaned against the closest wall.
Say something, anything, Lily pleaded.
You're a dick, you are a dick she is just a girl. James thought frustrated.
Finally Lily broke the silence.
"James about before," she began and he looked to her. "You were right. Just these past couple of days I've felt like I have gained a friend." James merely nodded looking at her. He stared deep into her trusting eyes and saw she was neither angry nor sorry; she was looking at him in a way he had never seen before. Like she was falling in love.
"Lily is there something-" Lily knew what was he was going to say before it emerged from his mouth and interrupted him.
"Um actually James, I need to go. Transfiguration homework," she finished poorly. Lily then darted upstairs feeling her face burning with shame. He had given her the chance and she had choked.
