Disclaimer: I do not own any of the character names, save my own original creations. I do not wish to be compensated for this work, nor do I wish to infringe on any copyrights held by any stakeholders of the movie King Arthur. This work is an original creation, based on the legend of King Arthur and his knights.
Scribe Notes:
Calliann: I think the need to make sure she would be enough for him was something I had to bring in. This seemed like the best place, thinking about how she could comfort him, and her understanding why he did carouse all those women. I never thought about pulling Tristan in, other than the fact that he may have been either half asleep or drunk with Perceval. But, you are right, of all the knights, he would be the least likely to want to spend time in a little room with Gawain.
Ailis-70: I think it needs to be a little of both. I think he will need ot fight it out, but he has to break and tell someone about what happened when they got attacked. He needs to get that off his chest to someone. Not sure who it will be yet.
I think, for inspiration on how your Tristan treats Teagan from now on you should re-read One Thing from where he and she fall in love. There was such good chemistry, and that is what you want them to strive for, that level of intimacy again.
I do happy dances when yours come it too. This website is great for this. I have been able to read and discuss with people things that make me think, cry, laugh and above all else, feel like a writer again!
Babaksmiles: Love can make any bad situation better. But love cannot save even a man who left hte toilet seat up and their "love" falls into it at 3 AM. They die horrible horrible deaths by pillow fight when that happens. (wink) but yes, love mas made both Lancelot and Cerys better. Love from Brinn, the women, Rhia, all the people that revolve around them!
Sokorra Lewis: Bad is how we know what good is. Dark lets us see light. Sad times helps us to know when we are happy, and reminds us of how we got where we were.
You can do it, just keep writing! I have faith in your pen.
Lilstrumrgrl527: I'm working on it! Here are two more chapters for you!
drew'sgirl: Hey! So happy that my comments continue to inspire you! That is great!I have enjoyed writing the other characters in as well, it was refreshing a bit, giving me all kinds of ideas.
LovelyHeidi: Yay! I always hated exams. Yes, everyone has their own way of dealing with things, as Cerys understands in one ofthe earlier chapters. Gawain has been drinking and not dealing with it and now its time for the rest of them to come up with a new way for him.
Lady11Occult: Here is part of it for you (grin)
gwenn0: Never boring! Its good! You got me thinking and adjusting and it madethe storybetter! I elude to why Gawain was in Lancelot/Brinn's rooms later on, its not what you think! (grin) The gathering in itself may not be the solution, but one can be brought forth from it in some way (hint, wink).
et cetera et cetera: Thank you! One thing I have learned to do is relax a bit with this story. I'm not as self critical as I was. I am glad that I raised emotion in you with the chapters. They were both full of it, both from a needing perspective and a tortuous one. Both elements of past memories for me, brought into this story. Life has a funny way of giving you the fuel for creative fire just when you need it!
Melosine: You may not read this for awhile (working through the story as you are), but thank you for your review of chapter 3! I think your story is amazing as well, and I highly recommend "What You Do To Survive" to everyone here to read. It's fabulous, especially for you Tristan fans out there.
Ok, here are two more chapters
Chapter 48: Waiting
The men regarded him, all crushed into the small room.
They knew he was tired of the dreams, tired of the torment, and that he wanted it all to stop. He looked down at the green scales in his hands.
All he had left were these useless bits of copper and his memories. Horrible memories. He had never shared them with anyone. He could never bring himself to. He heaved the scales away from him, a soft yelp from Perceval as he dodged them. They hit the wall with a metallic crash and slid to the floor. He buried his head in his arms, his blonde hair falling to hide his face.
"Go away." He rasped.
Galahad slid down the wall to sit beside his brother. He propped his elbows on his bent knees, his fingers holding his head up and he tilted to look at Gawain.
"I'm afraid we can't do that now." Galahad replied. He sighed then, putting his head back against the wall and closed his eyes briefly, then opening them to look at the other men. Nods and understanding looks were their replies. They had done this before, for others. Once summoned, they would stay.
If he talked, they would listen. If not, they waited. If he flew off the handle again, they could restrain him.
Gawain just sat, and the men shifted about. Bors sat on the bed, Tristan leaned up against the wall. Arthur stood with arms crossed and Perceval paced. Lancelot crouched down in front of Gawain.
And they waited.
Gawain lifted his head some time later to see them all still there, all still waiting for him. He looked to Lancelot, who was now sitting cross-legged in front of him, his eyes closed. Bors was perched forward, arms on his thighs, sitting on the bed, Arthur and Tristan leaning up against the wall quietly talking. Perceval was standing against the door, and looked to be sleeping. There was no way he could leave now. They would strong-arm him out of it.
Only Galahad was still keenly watching him.
"You want to tell us?"
Gawain blinked. He did not like being cornered this way, forced.
"You know you very nearly hurt Cerys tonight with your little outburst. I ought to beat the living snot out of you for that." Lancelot added, his eyes never opening, his chin propped in his fists.
Gawain cleared his throat, causing the others to turn around. He looked around the room again. He had nearly hurt Cerys? He had not even thought of her sitting there when he had lost his temper. He rubbed his forehead. That was the last thing he had wanted to do.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled.
"You bloody well should be. Now out with it before I decide to stop being so nice."
Gawain heard Bors' attempt to keep a chuckle back. It was kind of funny. Lancelot being "nice"? Love had softened the man. He snorted under his breath.
The men shifted around him again. He didn't want to talk about it. He wasn't ready.
"No."
"No?" Galahad asked.
Arthur shook his head. Lancelot opened his eyes and tilted his head up to look at the commander.
"I really do want to..."
Arthur made a noise at Lancelot and threw a cautionary look. "Would solve nothing, old friend."
Gawain watched them. He envied Lancelot. He still had his close friend, and now he was marrying Cerys. He had his life complete. What did Gawain have? Some rusted green scales and a brother who was slowly growing away from him. He felt very alone, despite the six other men in the room with him right then.
"I can't. Not right now." He croaked, putting his head down again. He just wanted to be alone and gather his thoughts.
He heard a collective sigh. The knights shifted around him once again.
And they waited.
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Cerys had taken Brinn back to her rooms and they were cuddled up together on the bed. He was sleeping soundly.
She, however, was wide awake.
They had never told her about Gareth. She had assumed he had been captured and taken off, or ran away, there was never a body to bury. They had his sword, but Gawain refused to put it in the cemetery and had taken it. By right it had been Lancelot's, and Lancelot had let him.
Cerys remembered Lancelot sitting by himself in the stables crying when she had found him once they had come back from... well... now she knew what. He had pushed her away and strode out when she tried to comfort him. He wasn't like Arthur, she couldn't hold him and run her hands through his hair to soothe him then.
He had hated having people feel for him, try to comfort him. She remembered being hurt, but she understood. At that point he was her closest friend, confidante, but he was a big, fearsome knight as well. Tough to the bone and beyond.
She was glad he had changed.
She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Now Gawain was doing the same thing, years later. Had he held this inside him this whole time? She wondered now if the valerian had only prolonged the torment instead of helping him. She felt guilty for a few moments.
But if he never talked, how could they have known?
She sighed and realized she was not going to sleep. She silently rose and gathered up some tally-sticks and her cloak. She would go sit in the kitchens and work, get some organizing done for the spring plant. It would be soon and she wasn't ready yet. Plus, she was hungry now. She could scare up something to eat there.
And she would wait to hear if he had talked. Otherwise it was going to be a long night. Now that he had been found, they would wait with him until he gave them an idea of how to help. They had done this before, for others.
She saw a light coming from the kitchens as she made her way there. Once she was inside, she was not surprised to see a sleepy Guinevere and Nimli sharing a cup of cider and some dried dates.
"Couldn't sleep?" Guinevere said as she pushed the plate towards Cerys.
Cerys shook her head and they sat in silence for a moment. They were here for the exact same reason she was. They were worried about Gawain, and their men were in with him.
"How in all the God's names did they all fit in that small room?" Nimli asked as she rose to find Cerys a cup.
"It was a tight fit." Cerys replied, chuckling. It was, she realized, somewhat amusing despite the situation. All those men in that tiny space. Poor Brinn would have a mess on his hands by morning. Bors would have the bed to himself by now.
A sound from the doorway turned their heads and Lorina with her baby entered the kitchens. Lorina, like them, looked tired, but unable to sleep. She hefted the baby to her hip and sat beside Cerys. Cerys held out a finger and the baby latched strong fingers onto it and brought it to his mouth, sucking. She played with him for a few moments, watching his blue eyes dance about, a drooling smile giving her indication he was enjoying her finger very much. She smiled softly to him and made faces.
Lorina, without looking, handed the baby off to Cerys and she cradled him in her arm. He immediately fell asleep.
"Any word?" Lorina asked, smiling down to her now sleeping child, flexing her arm and pointing to him. "He hasn't slept either. You're magic with him."
Cerys shook her head and smiled. "No, no word. He's such a good baby. He can't be Bors' get."
Lorina winked, putting a finger to her lips. The two women both chuckled.
"In that tiny room." Nimli said again as she returned. "Tis good they all had baths."
The four women wrinkled their noses in unison and laughed as Nimli handed cups and brought out a pitcher of cider. She winked and plopped a cloth full of dried and salted almonds down in the middle of the table, and a pot of honey to dip them in.
As they were talking idly, Dory came into the kitchens. She stood at the doorway a moment. Cerys turned her head and motioned to her.
"Dory, please come join us. You cannot sleep either?"
Dory shook her head and bit her lip. It looked like she had been crying; her eyes were red-rimmed. Lorina patted the bench next to her.
"Come sit, child. We can all gossip about our men. It will pass the time well."
A small smile echoed on her lips and she walked over and sat. Nimli immediately set another cup in front of her but she shook her head.
Dory placed her fist just above the table and then let go. A green scale clacked lightly onto the table as she opened her hand. She pulled her hand away to tuck back into her lap.
The women looked at it with wide eyes. Cerys looked at Dory.
"Where did you get that?"
"it was on Galahad's bunk when we went to bed. I grabbed it before he saw." She said quietly. She was trembling now. "This evening, Gawain was so mad..."
Lorina put an arm around her and leaned her head to Dory's. The rest of the women looked to each other. Nimli, never one to sit still, immediately went and drew a full pitcher of wine from a barrell, the liquid sound reaching back to them. She poured herself a cup, right on top of the cider, and offered to the others.
"I think we need something stronger than cider. Sorry Guin'."
Guinevere shrugged. "Soon I can again drink wine." and she patted her belly.
"He's lost his mind." Nimli whispered. "Usually giving things away means..."
Dory burst into tears and buried her face in her hands. The baby woke and reached for Lorina, making the beginnings of a wail. Lorina picked him up and began to pace around the table, letting him nurse and bouncing him softly. She wandered over to the stoves, left simmering with coals, and warmed her back as he fed.
Her face was set, and she shared a glance with Cerys. They had both known Gareth well, growing up in the fort when they were children with him. Dory had only been here a few years, and unless Galahad told her, she would not know much about their "Green Knight".
Guinevere had only gotten to know him before he was killed, Cerys had only been back for three years when it happened, Guinevere and Arthur married a year. Cerys' thoughts went to that day again, and Gareth's laughter echoed in her head as she remembered.
Nimli too, Cerys realized, never met the man. Cerys thought that some day, she would have to recount the tale to them. But not tonight. They needed no more reason to be upset. Especially Dory.
Cerys slid over to Dory and put her arms around the girl.
"Stop. It's alright. You did nothing wrong. He hurts very deeply." She said calmly, patting her shoulders. "It happened long ago."
"But..." She started.
"We are all worried." Guinevere said, reaching a hand across to Dory. Dory timidly put her hand out and grasped it. She sniffled.
"I feel that I have not helped by being with Galahad so many nights, in their rooms." She mumbled, her eyes on her lap. "He has been so sad lately, and I have been distracting Galahad from helping him."
Cerys thinned her lips. In truth Dory was probably right, but it was not up to Galahad to stop his life to help a brother who seemed incapable of getting past this torment. She patted Dory's thigh and filled her cup.
"Dory, know that you are not the cause of this, please."
Dory nodded and her eyes began to clear again. After a few moments of reassurance from the rest of the women, she picked up her cup and smiled slightly, sipping the wine Nimli poured in it. Lorina sat again and the baby was passed around from woman to woman. Their mood lightened. It was a good distraction, and all five women seemed relieved for it.
They chatted and crunched on almonds, and finished off the dates. Cerys watched Dory relax a bit, and even giggle at some of the bits of gossip that Nimli was revealing. She knew everything about the goings on in the fort! How did she do that?
Once past the shyness, Cerys observed that Dory was a lovely girl. Cerys thought quickly that Galahad chose well. She mentally crossed her fingers for luck that the two would stay together.
"Nimli, you were friendly with Perceval this evening in the baths." Guinevere fished a bit later, as she reached for another almond, her tone jesting.
Nimli raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what of it?"
"Weren't you being courted by Ganis?"
Nimli crossed her eyes and made sound and motion with her hand that she was choking, then smiled and laughed. "Are you addled in the head? Tie myself to that lop-eared man? He would drive me batty with his 'My arse' this and 'My arse' that."
The women laughed out loud in unison at her impersonation of their friend. They all loved Ganis, but, Nimli was correct, he may not have been the right lover for her.
"He's a sweet man, don't get me wrong..." She added more seriously, shrugging her shoulders. Cerys laughed. Indeed he was sweet, and kind to a fault. Perhaps Hywel's daughter would be a better match. She pursed her lips as she thought about it.
Ah, she was not the matchmaker, time would tell. She brought her thoughts back to her friends around the table.
"Perceval is quite fickle in his affections towards the ladies. Be careful." Lorina warned.
"I can handle Perceval. Who said I wanted to marry him?" Nimli jested as she sipped her cup again, her eyebrows wiggling.
'I think Perceval may have met his match in the game, ladies." Cerys countered. They all laughed again.
"Careful Nimli, that is what I said about Bors." Lorina said between giggles. The baby gurgled as if to agree with her, and the women renewed their laughing.
Cerys realized that being together with these women was balm for her, and she was grateful for their company, especially the laughter to ease their tension. Tally sticks and spring plants could wait until morning. She gave Dory's hand a spontaneous squeeze then, making the girl smile.
"I wonder how it's going in there." Guinvere murmured, sobering, playing with the hem on her cloak.
The five women sat in silence then, sipping wine and cider. Each one thought on their lovers and husbands, now sitting in a small room, trying for their fellow knight to open up, or let them help him.
Each one looked at each other and they knew.
There was nothing they could do but wait.
Dear Reader:
And now we wait...
no just kidding... I posted the next chapter as well.(grin)
The men will stay and make sure he does nothing stupid. that is what friends do. Each thinking on how they can help. Morning should bring on a few ideas. (hint)
I thought this would be a great time to pull the ladies together and get Cerys' point of view on it. They are all gathered in te baths but we never get in on the conversation. Plus, there is gossip that must be spilled, and the women need a distraction.
On to the next!
Cardeia
