Author's Note: I'm in love with My Chemical Romance.
LOVE.
( these boys out. They rock my world!
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Chapter 10: What Won't Kill You
(my fandom...smells like Jordan Fielding)
Depressed. Melancholy. Solemn.
All in all, Makimachi Misao was bluer than the sky and her ocean blue eyes. She sat in the empty corner of the library with her head rested in her folded arms, her studies forgotten. She no longer cared if her crisp white shirt got rumpled, if she got dust on her black uniform jacket.
Nothing mattered at the moment, she felt nothing, and yet everything hurt.
She had made such a mess with her big mouth, regretting it the moment she spoke the words that now sealed her fate, and now she was miserable.
'I can't explain what made me do this...'
He walked away, this time...there would be no needed reunion, no 'I missed you's.
Who would have though Shinomori Aoshi would be so sensitive, but then again, he never did have much tolerance for high school drama or the ways of the elite crowd. He hated gossip, wasn't much for lies.
'Not your fault, sometimes this can surface...'
And she had thrown it all at him, acted like the epitome of what he hated.
She was a sheep after all. He hadn't really done anything to her, he was...in his way, rather patient. And she just ignorantly threw it back into his face.
She couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, she was like a zombie. People would whisper as she walked past, but stopped thanks to glares from Kaoru and Megumi.
'I've seen the future and it's caving in...'
Misao didn't care. It couldn't possibly get any worse. She lost everything.
When had Aoshi become everything? When she had fallen in...
She sat up, slamming her palms on the table.
She had two options here: sulk and wallow, or tough it up and not let it get to her.
As she left the library, she saw Aoshi's tall form retreating down the hallway.
She would tough it up...tomorrow.
Doing something she seldom did, Misao turned around and walked down the hallway, pushed
the doors open, and ran for dear life away from the school until she hit town.
'Don't close your eyes cause then it will begin...'
The rest of the day was filled with the word of Misao ditching school early and how the popular junior was falling through the social ladder. The whispers echoed through the hall, and there was nothing Misao's friends could do to cease it.
She would soon be a social deviant. It was inevitable. Aoshi had heard from Kenshin what was happening, but merely shrugged it off. It was all her fault, he didn't care...
So then why did some part of him not get that memo?
'Sorry I've got to go away again...'
She had gone too far in denying, he was sick of secrecy...maybe part of it was his fault. His lack of tolerance for her bullshit, his refusal to acknowledge their relationship...
Maybe it was his fault in some way for her lying.
He didn't care. She had hurt him, something he never thought would happen. Her lies, her words, her actions...
Hit a nerve, struck a chord, made him angry.
He wasn't sure if her words, or his reaction pissed him off more. It was all a mess, a mess he usually avoided. It was never this complicated with Tomoe.
But then, Tomoe never made him feel half of what Misao...
'Sometimes I never wanna leave at all...'
He couldn't wait to graduate and get out of there. School was a waste of his time. He was going to Toudai anyway. He wanted to be away from this place, the people, her.
He hated the lies, the gossip, the people.
He hated missing her. He hated their whole flawed relationship.
He hated how she...had made him feel happy for some time.
He hated that they were so different.
And yet he hated himself for not wanting her to ever change who she was.
If this was love...then love was a complicated chaotic pain in the ass.
'But if you had to fall in love...I hope you never fall in love...'
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"Damn you! Damn you to hellllll!"
The arcade onlookers blinked at the sight of the petite girl playing a fighting game, and the amount of explicative words she displayed playing. Misao didn't care, she was working out her aggressions via gaming.
'So Monday morning is my weekend...'
It was effective until she ran out of money. With a dejected sigh, she left the arcade and fished through her pocket for her subway card as her pace slowed.
"Dammit Makimachi, get a grip! What would a ninja do? They would not wallow! They would fight and show no emotion! Go Misao! Fight Misao! Be the ninja!" she yelled to herself, pumping herself up...and ignoring more strange looks thrown at her.
'I know I jumped right off the deep end...'
Making her way down the subway, she stopped at the platform and sighed.
Her bed was looking rather good right now.
And the leftover sesame chicken in the fridge.
By God, Makimachi Misao would eat, and eat she would! For with newfound determination, she was not going to let Shinomori Aoshi ruin her...anymore anyway!
'You know that I always want to hesitate...'
Getting onto the subway and standing against the window, she clenched her fist. She would not hide anymore, she wouldn't ignore everything.
She was going to stand tall (as tall as Misao could anyway) and face it all.
Or at least she would try.
She wanted to fix things with Aoshi, but she had to worry about herself at the moment. Perhaps she wasn't so much a sheep after all.
What was the saying?
What doesn't kill you eats your gas or something? Makes you stronger?
Whatever! She was going to be strong!
Her stomach growled, her appetite renewed.
"Man...not eating sucks...never doing that again..ugh..." she mumbled to herself.
'Please remember good things come to those who wait...'
The ride was uneventful, but gave Misao time to plot out her next course of action. She was five minutes from the station, and then another five from home. Noticing the darkening sky, she prayed fervently she wouldn't get caught in the rain. It held bittersweet memories of Aoshi.
Dammit, she was not going to let him ruin things for her. Rain, life. School.
She wasn't going to let anyone ruin things for her. She was going to show them the real Misao, take it or leave it.
It sounded like a good plan anyway.
And so after the trek home, storming in the kitchen and eating, and marching up to her room, Misao tossed her school bag to the floor, took off her jacket and white shirt, and sat at her desk in her black skirt and light pink camisole.
Turning on her computer, she cracked her knuckles and spun around in her chair. She was in a writing mood, and felt liking talking to Kaoru and Megumi anyway. She had pretty much been ignoring everyone and felt bad about it. Humming, she signed on her instant messenger and opened notepad and began writing to add to her journal folder.
A beep signaled a message, and Misao watched as a message popped up.
DojoBunny17: Hey, still bluer than a drowned smurf?
Misao smiled at that and began to type her reply.
NinjaBlueGirl: Haha, feeling better actually.
DojoBunny17: Thank goodness! Me and the fox were getting worried.
NinjaBlueGirl: Yea, I know. I'm sorry. Men are so stupid, Kaoru-chan.
DojoBunny17: Tell me bout it. Kenshin got all defensive and was all 'well Aoshi's got a point' blah blah blah!
NinjaBlueGirl: Che, you don't train him well enough
DojoBunny17: Nope.
NinjaBlueGirl: I'm sorry, but now Himura's getting a kecho kick ass kicking.
DojoBunny17: Nooo! Be nice!
NinjaBlueGirl: HahahahaNO.
DojoBunny17: Misao-chan! No kicking of my bf's ass!
NinjaBlueGirl: Yea yea, that's your job.
DojoBunny17: Yep. ,
NinjaBlueGirl: Tanuki.
DojoBunny17: Itachi.
NinjaBlueGirl: Whore.
DojoBunny17: virgin
NinjaBlueGirl: Oh am I?
DojoBunny17: MISAO!
NinjaBlueGirl: ahahahah kidding.
DojoBunny17: Dammit! That was not cool. Anyway, I got to go, dinner and such.
NinjaBlueGirl: Later.
DojoBunny17: bye
Misao giggled to herself. Kaoru's antics always cheered her up. Typing up her journal entry for the day, Misao put up an away message and got up and flopped on her bed, grabbing a book and getting comfortable.
Nope, Shinomori Aoshi was NOT going to get her down.
Turning to the page she left off and getting lost into the world of the Otori, Misao smiled.
Maybe tomorrow would be a better day indeed.
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Chapter es le fin!
Okay, Misao's moped enough and I can't ever picture as being one to be depressed for too long. I mean yes she's hurt over her and Aoshi parting ways, but RK leads me to think she would be strong about it unlike other RK females :coughcough:kaoru:coughcough:
This chapter was made possible by Reggie and the Full Effect and some of my own guy issues.
Lol.
