Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha. If I did this would be an episode instead of a fanfic. Is this even necessary?
Chapter 3:
Aunt Gertrude's
"So then what's your idea, Genius?" Inuyasha snarled at Miroku.
"Well I was thinking maybe we should start training, we may be stuck like this so we should learn to defend ourselves," Miroku told Inuyasha and started heading over to Shippou when Kagome's watch started to beep.
"Ah what the hell is that?" Inuyasha said looking around.
"That's just my watch. It's just ringing because… oh shit I forgot about Aunt Gertrude. What am I going to do? You can't go, but on the other hand if you don't my mom will kill me," Kagome stressed, earning strange looks from her confused friends as she continued to rant.
"Kagome what the fuck are you talking about?" Inuyasha complained.
"I'm supposed to go see my Aunt today but I can't because I'm you so that means you have to go in my place. Please do me this one favor and I won't sit you for a month when we get back to normal," Kagome pleaded with Inuyasha.
"Fuck no. I'm not going to go hang out with your family. I think you brother's gay or something. Last time I went to your house I found a shrine devoted to me in the back of his closet with hundreds or drawings of me with hearts," Inuyasha said shuttering.
"That's a little freaky but I'm not giving you a choice," Kagome said cracking her knuckles as she picked Inuyasha up.
"Put me down you wench" Inuyasha cried squirming around completely forgetting that he could easily make her 'sit'.
"OK I'll let you down. Have a nice visit with Aunt Gertrude" Kagome said smiling as she dropped him down the well.
"So anyone up for a bath." Miroku said staring at Kirara.
Sango scratched him across the face, "meow pervert"
"I don't even need a translation to understand what Sango said that time" Kagome laughed as Miroku hid a disappointed face.
"I think you misunderstood what I meant, I simply meant we should wash off all this soot. I can't believe you'd even think that's what I meant. I am but a humble monk," Miroku said putting on a straight face.
Current Age
'Damn you Kagome!' Inuyasha thought climbing out of the well to see Souta waiting for him, well actually Kagome, at the top. Inuyasha tried to avoid the young boy's gaze as he walked over to him.
"Mom says we're leaving now, sis. Oh by the way, how is Inuyasha?" Souta asked blushing wildly.
'There is something fucking wrong with that kid" Inuyasha thought slowly moving away feeling really awkward.
The two walked down the trail to the car. Souta got in followed by inuyasha who cautiously went in, thinking at first that it was a demon that had devoured Souta and was a little disappointed at the fact that it wasn't. Then came the seat belts. On the first try he wrapped it around himself, then he tried to tuck it under him, after many tries he eventually gave up.
'Damn contraption, hmpf it was stupid anyway,' Inuyasha thought putting his elbow on the window button and got startled when it began to roll down. 'Oo this is fun.'
"Ok we're off to Aunt Gertrude's kids!" Mrs. Higurashi said starting up the car and once again startling Inuyasha.
Inuyasha began to entertain himself using the wonder that is "the up-down button" and soon noticed the wind that came in through the window. Inuyasha decided to find the source of the wind and stuck his head out the window. He couldn't find the source but found the breeze quite refreshing, so much so that he started to pant and stuck out his tongue.
"Kagome get back in here now!" Kagome's mom yelled taking her eyes of the road.
Inuyasha was about to protest when a car almost hit into his head and he watched a man stick his head out the window too except instead of letting his tongue out, he gave Inuyasha some foreign gesture involving his middle finger. Inuyasha then decided that it was probably something sexual and the last thing he needed was another Souta so he decided to get back into the car.
2 ½ hours later
"OK kids we're here!" Mrs. Higurashi yelled waking her kids up.
"Oh why did you wake me up I was just having the best dream about Inuyasha. It was so hot and he was covered in oil- uh I mean killing demons," Souta said with an infatuated look on his face.
'Ok that kid needs some serious help' Inuyasha thought getting out of the car.
'Why didn't I stop after I had Kagome?' Souta's mom thought opening Souta's door.
They walked up the path and were soon greeted by Aunt Gertride.
"Oh Souta, Kagome you've grown so much," she told them while wrapping them in a large embrace.
"Hey hands off you old hag!" Inuyasha complain pushing the woman off her.
"It's that time of the month isn't it?" Gertrude whispered to Kagome's mother.
"Apparently, she's been acting strange all day, though so has Souta and I'm pretty sure that's not HIS problem," She laughed as Aunt Gertrude rejoined Souta and Kagome while taking something out of her pockets.
"Here you go money for both of you. Now make sure you don't spend it all in one place," Aunt Gertrude said smiling.
"Oh now I can buy more art supplies, I know just what to draw," Souta said beginning to daydream as his "sister" inched away.
"Why the hell did you give me this fucking piece of paper? Are you going senile in your old age or what, hag?" Inuyasha said ripping apart the "useless" paper.
"Definitely PMS. Don't worry I have some Tampons in the bathroom. By the sound of it, I'd better get super absorbent." Aunt Gertrude said to her neice then left and headed for the bathroom.
"Finally that bitch left she's getting on my nerves," Inuyasha said with a sigh of relief.
"Kagome you will apologize to your great aunt. It's not her fault she's gone senile," "his mother" told him.
"I'm back dears" Aunt Gertrude said bursting down the stairs then whispered to "Kagome", "Here I brought this for you the bathroom's upstairs to the left or is it the right, no no it's definitely the left."
"What the fuck are you talking about hag?" Inuyasha snapped.
"Oh there's no need to be embarrassed it's perfectly naturally, it happens to every women or at least it used to," she told her "niece" a little glumly.
"I still have no idea what the fuck you're talking about and I'm fucking starving," Inuyasha complained.
"Oh well dinner's all ready and maybe after dinner you can handle your "friend"," The elderly lady told him and led them into the kitchen.
"Oh Aunt Gertrude this all smells delicious I can't wait to start eating, I'm sure it will be delicious," Mrs. Higurashi told her aunt.
"It is come on dig in. I guess the hags good for something after all." Inuyasha said continuing to pig out and grabbing handful after handful of the food on the long dinner table.
"I guess I'll take that as a complement. Deary she's gotten to be a big eater. I'm starting to think that it might be something else that's the problem (incase you're wondering I'm referring to pregnancy)," Gertrude told Kagome's mother.
"Oh my god I never even thought of that. For her sake that better not be the case of I'll hunt down whoever did this to her," Mrs. Higurashi vowed.
'Oh Lord Mom's gonna kill Inuyasha!' Souta thought about to cry "No! see's everyone stare at him There was a bug on my plate don't worry it's gone now see," Souta said holding up the plate.
"Kagome could you please slow down dear your food is flying everywhere" kagome's mother asked nicely.
"Fuck no, this is awesome" Inuyasha answered insulantly.
"Mom she's scaring me. Someone hold me," Souta said staring a his "sister" then thinking, 'I wish Inuyasha was here.'
'Please don't let him be thinking about me,' Inuyasha thought as he was dragged out of the room by the ear by "his mother".
"Oh what a lovely visit good night Kagome!" Aunt Gertrude said waving goodbye to her "niece".
'She really is senile," Mrs. Higurashi thought as she dragged "Kagome" upstairs.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Unfortunately the next two chapters won't be quite as funny. Well see you next time in "Chapter 4: Miruto's Looking Glass"
