Disclaimer: I do not own any of the character names, save my own original creations. I do not wish to be compensated for this work, nor do I wish to infringe on any copyrights held by any stakeholders of the movie King Arthur. This work is an original creation, based on the legend of King Arthur and his knights.
Scribe Notes:
All: I'm back! The spa was wonderful, although I think I may be the type of girl who prefers facials and such to full body treatments. Being painted with moor mud by a man with Halitosis isn't really al lthat relaxing. Ah well, my skin feels great! On to comments:
Calliann: I promise to get to your reviews for Priestesses this evening. I am still catching up. I read them and I am thinking that you ahve taken such a neat turn.
I am glad you enjoyed Dory. I wanted to bring her out a bit more and give her and Galahad some closure for this story.
So I have added a couple of chapters beforethe wedding, but I really hope you enjoy them. The weddingchapter is still in the works and I have two more after this one before it. I really wanted to sew things up a bit. these were really fun chapters to write and they gave me such a fun idea, combining all my experiences with fellow friends tieing the knot.
ElvenStar5: So glad I made you say wow so many times! I hope your vacation is wonderful, and here are some updates for you when you get back. I always thought that men who lived in such upheaval would react so strongly to things such as this. Live hard, love hard, feel hard.
annalon: Thanks for reviewing! I am heartened that you feel my story has been an influence on your life. Yes, friends who know each other best do not need words, and sometimes just being there is enough. Arthur and Lancelot, all the knights really, would spend hours upon hours together. So it stands to reason they would learn to be comfortbale in each others silence, spending so much time on the road on horses. Talking can get tiresome, you would think (grin).
lilstrummrgrl527: I too fidget when talking about important things, and pace when on the phone. I also doodle when in meetings at work, and I find I absorb more. I thought Dory would find it easier to focus her attention on something other than her shyness to help her through situations. I think it fit her well.
I loved your review of chapter 61. You caught so many of the small points that I put in to make people go "hmmm" and I am very happy you got them. You always seem to!
And please do not worry, I have plans to make Gawain happy. Wait and see, it will be wonderful.
Sokorra Lewis: I saw Char too... really I did. the look he gives Ella in that movie makes your heart go nuts. His eyes are very expressive too, but I love the way he softens his whole body when he is looking that way at a woman ina role. I am about to pick up my ordered copy of The Sleeping Dictionary. I can't wait to see that!
And alas a few more chapters before the wedding yet. I got inspired (grin).
Ailis-70: So glad you liked the chapter with Dory and Gawain. I wanted to make sure that she knew he was alright with her being there. And this way it gives some closure to Galahad and Dory. I enjoyed writing that chapter, bringing her out more. Shes interesting to me, almost likethe woman I left behind so many years ago when I walked out of an abusive relationship. I left my shy introverted self on teh floor of his room, and left my low self esteem on the doormat to his house as I slammed the door. So even though Dory has endearing qualities about her with this shyness, that was me, and one that I shed to be the woman I am today, much more improved and glad that I was able to experience that metamophosis. And now to remember it in Dory is very cathartic.
I had to have Lancelot tell Arthur in a way, no details of course. Arthur would want to know and would have seeked him out anyways, but this way, they can talk about it man to man. this affected Lancelot as well, and for him, having Gawain talk and remember was almost as releasing for Lancelot. Arthur cares very deeply for all his men and I wanted to get that across as well. I hoep I did.
So I decided on a few more chapters before the wedding, and I really hope these make you laugh! they were so much fun to write.
Melosine: Yes, Dory can help Gawain too. I think there is that element of partnership. She is close to him by default, practially living in the rooms, and a friendship could evolve there that is akin to Tristan and Cerys. At least I hope so.
gwenn0: Your snippets are so awesome and I loved them! Everyone needs to go see them! 100 word poetry almost, and you english is great.
You got why he went to Arthur. He needed to know, but the other reason was that he needed to organize his head and Arthur can help him. You made sense with the Brain/heart thing. Totally.
And I am thrilled you liked Dory's chapter. She really is intrigueing to me and I may use her again in the future in other stories. See Ailis-70' response above for more on how I see her. I think many women out there are like her, and I was like her as well, once.
Cricket05: Hey! Thanks for reviewing! yes, sweet release when you can finally say the words. Sometimes the words are really needed, no? I hope you enjoy the next couple of chapters!
Elsfire:Ahh south of France. You are making a Canadian girl jealous over here! (grin) I just got back from my vacation so I will have a look at your story soon, I promise!
thanks to all for reviewing and here are the next two chapters of fun!
Chapter 63: Revenge of the Bachelors
The men had gathered for the evening at the common.
The air was thick with humidity for Spring, and they all sat, drinking, playing knucklebone and shells, talking, laughing. The moon, almost full, was casting enough light down into the fort that they had not really needed many lanterns and torches to help them see. Lorina, or course, was happy with that. It was less chance for a drunken man to wander into one and catch himself on fire. She loved warmer weather, and she hummed as she went about her business, Dory right along with her, both of them smiling. A few foot soldiers were at the bar, and the myriad of working girls were milling, sitting on laps, causing havoc as they usually did.
Cerys and Guinevere, along with Nimli and Wynn, had absented themselves, knowing full well it would be much too rowdy for their tastes. They had retired to Cerys' rooms to read with Rhia for the evening.
Wynn was learning how to read, as was Nimli. Cerys had taken it upon herself that all the women in the fort would be able to read the lists she was now using instead of her tally sticks. It was the perfect diversion so the men could have the evening to be drunken idiots on their own.
It was the usual night at the common area, except for over at the knights tables.
Most of the men were gathered there. Occasionally they broke into song, or tousled with one another. Earlier there had been a game of knives. Tristan had, as usual, won.
It was the night before Lancelot was to get married, and they were bound and determined to send him off in style. Not one person in the common had neglected in bringing him drink. He had given Lorina the signal to stop sending them over, but she had just laughed and winked at him.
Jols had brought him two drinks, Ganis and Hywel as well. Dafydd, stepping away early in the evening, had been merciful enough to bring him water and a bit of stew. He had sat with him a few moments.
"Come see me in the morning and I'll make up some licorice root tea for your stomach." Lancelot had simply looked at him, nodded dumbly, and wrapped his hand around yet another cup of drink that was placed in front of him.
He was enjoying the merry-making, but it was getting to the point where if he tried to stand, he would fall over. He blinked groggily. Damn but he was drunk, and he had not been so since he had first kissed Cerys on the battlements. Then he had passed out and slept the night on the stone floor.
Lancelot shook his head and forced himself to try and remain lucid. If he had one more drink, he would pass out, and knew if he did, he would end up in a compromising position.
These men showed no mercy when one of their own was getting married.
"Please, I donn want 'nother!" Lancelot slurred, hands upraised, as another cup of wine was smacked in front of him. The men roared around him, laughter and remarks flying over his head.
"Whats this? Lancelot refusing a drink?" Bors shouted, and slapped him on the back. Lancelot lurched forward from the force and braced himself on the table. He raised his head to Arthur, sitting across from him, and they shared a look. A peevish one from Lancelot, an amused one from Arthur.
"Dammit Bors, you're a bloody ox." He grunted, then laughed along with everyone else, unable to stop himself, being too much gone in drink. Perceval grabbed the offending cup and drained it with a flourish.
"Don't want to waste good drink!" He exclaimed and the rest of the men cheered. The lot of them were pissed as newts, Lancelot thought, and grinned as he splayed himself over the table drunkenly.
Grand thing this was. He knew this night he was going to end up sleeping somewhere uncomfortable. If he slept at all.
He sensed organized movement around him, and saw looks passing between all the knights, as well as Jols and Ganis. He cleared his throat and straightened himself. Ganis quietly backed away and left the common, Jols following him.
"Whass goin' on? What're you lot up to?"
"You remember what you lot did to me the night before my wedding, don't you, old friend?" Arthur said, raising his eyebrow and taking a swig from his own cup lazily, his eyes dancing over the rim as he drained it.
Lancelot thought for a moment, chuckling, then raised his eyes. Oh no...
"I donn want t'be treed - hic - from a rope inna... inna... chair, thank-yer - hic - very much." Lancelot stated as best he could, and realized that he must have just made no sense whatsoever and hiccupped again. He glanced about, and saw six knights standing suddenly. He looked at each of them.
"Bloody Hells." He groaned then and tried to rise. Bors had his hand on his shoulder, pushing him back into his seat and holding him there.
"No you don't, Goat." He said, a smirk on his face.
"Revenge is sweet Lancelot." Arthur pronounced, barely able to contain himself, and he pulled a rope out from behind his back, his grin wide.
Lancelot felt a bit of lucidity come back to him. He focused as hard as he could to get the words out well. He could see it now... dangling away, having the men pushing at whatever he was strapped into, his stomach heaving...
"Arthur! Please, of all people you would understand!" Lancelot said, his eyes pleading with the commander. "You're a fair and just man..."
Arthur just laughed. "You are rubbing off on me. Now sit still."
Before Lancelot could try to bolt out of his seat again, he was held down, and more ropes were brought out. He screamed and yelled and swore every horrible word he could think of as Gawain tied his feet together, despite his kicking.
Perceval roped his arms to his body, and Tristan, who Lancelot thought surely would not want any part of this, put a blindfold on him. Lancelot struggled for all he was worth, but having that many men as strong as himself holding him down meant it was a mute point.
He was stuck.
"You can't get out of it. Just relax or they will tighten the ropes and you will be uncomfortable." He hissed into Lancelot's ear as he tied the cloth behind his head.
"Watch the hair!" Lancelot hissed back. "That pulls."
Tristan laughed and patted him on the head as he finished tieing the knot. A few moments passed as he was plunked back to his stool to sit, tied and blindfolded. He could hear the men around him, chuckling and cracking jokes. He ground his teeth together and struggled against the ropes.
"Dammit! I know you are all there, I can hear your sniggering. For the love of the Gods untie me."
The men laughed. He sighed and hung his head. This was pointless. They were going to humiliate him whether he wanted it or not. He began to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, and felt himself sway a bit. He was much too drunk to be tied up like this. He was likely to fall over, and felt himself tipping.
He felt a hand on his right shoulder pushing him back upright. "Stay with us, Goat." He heard Bors from the same side as the hand. He sounded like he said that while he was drinking, it echoed in the cup Lancelot assumed was up against his lips.
"I suppose I deserve this." He said, trying to control his giggling.
"That you do. But moreso, you get to endure what we did. Think of it as... as a right of passage." Arthur stated from off to his left.
Lancelot grimaced. Damn him for ever coming up with the idea they should string him up in a tree. Who knew that Arthur was secretly afraid of heights? He had been subjected to Guinevere screaming at him for a full hour after the wedding. Giving Arthur nightmares about falling. Damn...
He did deserve this. And it was funny as hell.
He wondered where they were going to string him up. He really should have seen this one coming. He supposed he was so drunk right now that he wouldn't have seen a whole Saxon army unless they had tripped at his feet. Then he may have just invited them in for a drink.
He vowed that if he lived through this night, he was never going to touch wine again.
Right... and pigs would sprout wings and fly up to Arthur's heaven.
He began laughing again, snorting now really.
"This is really not very funny." Lancelot said as laughed harder. "Really..."
"Remember when you lot decided to hang me upside down over the tanner pit? Lorina can't bring home new dyed cloth without me having to heave my belly up."
Lancelot groaned. His penance was for that prank as well? He was seriously in trouble. He hoped that they weren't going to hang him above the latrine pits. A tree, he could handle, the tanner ponds... bearable... but...
"Listen, Bors, I am truly sorry for that, what can I pay you to untie me? My first born, a new blade... how much coin?"
Bors only laughed. "I have enough brats, I don't need another blade, and not any amount of coin could you pay me for this. You are out of luck."
The men around him were laughing loudly now. He was feeling the effects of the drink again. He swallowed and willed his control not to lose his stomach over this.
"I will not retch." He hissed under his breath, and clenched his hands to the side of the stool to steady himself as best he could, with his arms tied to his sides. His fingers snaked out and curled around the edge.
Despite it all, he was still laughing along with the rest of the men. He took a breath.
"Whurr y' gonna string me up then?" He slurred.
"Now that's a secret." He head Galahad say from off to his right. He turned his head in the direction and felt the earth spin again.
"Damnt'all Some'n... Untie me..."
He felt hands on him, and suddenly he heard Gawain's rumbling laugh as he was hefted up over a shoulder.
Lancelot knew what he was going to do. "Gawain. No... I'm drunk, fool... does not solve anyt..."
It was too much, and his head swam. He was too drunk to be tied to a chair and swinging from only the Gods knew where. Even he would not have done this to someone else.
He retracted that. He would have, with gusto. But right now, it was not very fun, this prank, and he had really had it.
"ENOUGH!" He screamed as hard as he could. The world was spinning, and his stomach was lurching. He struggled. The change in posture spun his head further.
He closed his eyes behind his blindfold to stave off the inevitable passing out for a few more moments. He was not going to give them the satisfaction of being sick.
He was going to get even with all of them.
Right after he woke up...
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Cerys stood in front of the byre, her hands on her hips. It was just dawn, and Nimli had come to get her.
"I think you need to come see something."
There in the straw, with one arm over his eyes, his legs sprawled about, was Lancelot. His clothing was rumpled, and he was covered in chaff. One ankle had a rope around it, and it was tied to the wall. Beside him was his 'favourite' nanny goat. Only this time she too was tied to the wall, and was quietly curled up at his side, sleeping. Lancelot's other arm was around her.
"Of all the pranks." Cerys whispered, trying very hard not to laugh. "Arthur said they were going to hoist him up on the wall in a chair, not this."
"He would have suspected that." Nimli reflected, tilting her head to look at the sleeping man. "And we did hear them out there last night laughing at something."
They stood a moment, watching the man sleep, tilting their heads. Cerys let out a small giggle as Lancelot let out a snore.
"Maybe they did both?" She ventured.
Nimli winked at Cerys and crawled up beside him on the straw. She pulled bit of it out of his hair, smoothing it back. He mumbled something incoherent and he turned onto his side, nestling into the goat's back. She smothered a giggle and looked back at Cerys. Cerys shook her head.
"You are wicked, if you are about to do what I think you are."
Nimli raised an eyebrow, leaned over very quietly and...
"Baaaah...baaaahhh..." She breathed, pretending to be a goat, then carefully wetting her finger and sticking it in his ear. As quickly as she could, she lifted her skirts and ran off the pile, grabbing Cerys. They both ran around the corner of the byre and watched, well out of his sight behind him.
Lancelot opened his eyes slowly, and when he realized where he was, sat up immediately, blinking. He looked around, and rubbed his eyes. He swore as he saw the goat, and he attempted to get up, only to be thrown back into the pile as his leg wouldn't let him. This woke the nanny goat and she made a quiet nickering noise and started to rise, flapping her ears at him, her large liquid eyes blinking.
"Damn you all to bloody hell!" He screamed, then winced as he held his head. "This isn't funny." He muttered more quietly.
He sat for a moment, thrashing at the straw and then kicking his leg to take the rope off, cursing, for the first time in a long time, in his native tongue from when he was a child. Cerys sobered.
He was mad. Really mad.
The last time she had heard him do that was when he had come to from his chest wound from the crossbow bolt and tried to belt Dafydd. Dafydd had just extracted the head of the bolt, and it was all Hywel and Arthur could do to hold him down then.
This may have been too far to push him, she thought.
"What did I do to deserve such punishment?" He yelled to no one in particular. The goat made more noise at him, and licked his forearm.
From across the yard, she could hear quiet chuckling, and she realized they had been watched by the rest of the men. She pointed to the other side of the stable yard, and Nimli giggled, with her hand over her mouth. Perceval saw her, winking and pointing at his ear. Both women gave him a toothy grin.
Lancelot was still cursing, now in their language, working the knot around his ankle. "I'll flay you alive! I'll break every bone in your hands... The lot of you are..." He continued on like this for a few moments.
Cerys decided she had really had enough. He must be hung over, and she was to marry this man tonight. She wanted him rested and happy. Not hung over and seething. Besides, she wanted a bit of quiet time with him before they had to be separated for the ceremony.
She sauntered out into the yard, her arms crossed. She decided to make a show of it, since the rest of the knights were watching, and she had seen Jols and Ganis join them, as well as Brinn, Gilly and Hector. The whole fort would be here soon, so she needed to be quick. She prayed that the women would not happen upon them. That was all she needed, their gossip twisting this joke around.
Although, this would be humorous to share with Guinevere. No sooner had she thought that than she saw movement from the knights hiding place, and Guinevere popped her head out underneath Arthur's arm. Cerys knew Lorina would be there too. Where were Dory and Wynn?
She smiled her best smile at them, and then changed her face to be as upset as she could muster.
And it would be fun to get one up on that bunch hiding there as well, if she could get Lancelot to play along.
So let the jests begin.
Lancelot turned at her footsteps and his face went from enraged to embarrassed in the blink of an eye.
"Dearest, you didn't come home last night!" She pouted, pretending to have just come upon him. She heard giggling, quickly hushed as he looked up and he scanned the area. "And now I find you here with... her?" She pointed at the goat.
He looked back to her and grimaced. "You see? You SEE what happens when you get men like that drunk?" He said, finally giving up trying to get the knot around his leg undone, and concentrated on pushing the nanny goat away, who was now butting her head into his shoulder, making affectionate noises at him. He screwed his face up.
"Get off me you disgusting thing."
"I do see. You prefer straw and a nanny goat to my affections in bed?" She winked at him so only he could see, and his face changed to realize that she was playing it up.
So he had heard the men around the corner. He raised his eyebrow. She was in such trouble if she had anything to do with this.
"I am hurt... really I am. I mean, you plead with me to make those noises when we... but... its very distressing to see... " She gestured as she reached him, one hand on her forehead, her face mock-stricken. He raised a hand to her, pretending to be upset.
"Love please, untie me and we can speak on it in private."
She bent to untie his leg. He stopped her hand, but she shook it off.
"Let me get you out of here before the whole fort is up." She whispered. "I had no idea until Nimli came and got me this morning. Are you alright?"
He softened at that, nodded quickly, and cleared his throat. "Darling." He spoke loudly, "You are the only one for me, and you know that. This goat, she means nothing!"
She giggled under her breath and finished untying him. She went to the goat and untied her, patting her head and leaving her in the straw. No point in leaving her tied up, the jest was almost over.
"Well, if she means nothing, come prove this to me in our own bed, lover." She stated, pushing her voice out so she knew the group behind the building could hear her. He hefted himself up, and came over to her, brushing bits of straw off himself.
"We could..." He announced, looking about the area, pointing at the goat, lifting one corner of his lips into his familiar smirk, pretending to be thinking amorous thoughts, his best flirting face on for all to see. He trailed a finger down her face, and winked at her.
She caught what he wanted to do. She smiled wickedly then, and nodded. What fun! They wouldn't see this coming at all.
"I agree, this would be more fun. You are so baa-aaad." She said as loudly, and turned, grabbing the lead of the goat's collar, tugging to bring her down off the straw. She took Lancelot's hand, pulled him to her and kissed him loudly. They turned together, leading the goat away towards their rooms. The goat grabbed the hem of Cerys' skirt in her mouth, chewing as she trotted along behind them making happy noises.
It was too much for the grouping, who tumbled out of their hiding places, all of them laughing so hard, Cerys thought they might just lose their bladders.
Men could be so ridiculous.
She looked over her shoulder as they all stood watching them walk away with the goat. She stuck her tongue out and winked. She saw Arthur shaking his head, and holding his stomach. She nodded at Tristan, who bit at an apple absently, and nodded back. He was chuckling himself.
She loved making Tristan laugh. That made her morning.
Once they were around the corner, Bors rubbed a hand over his head. "They got us eh?"
"I think so, Bors, I think so." Arthur said as he strode off to catch them.
Dear Reader:
Ok, this was a really fun chapter to write and all i can say is that I have been party to bachelor parties where someone gets strung up in a chair in a tree. I have also been to drunken bashes where the poor man was so wasted he passed out on the way home and we have to carry him back to his room. So many memories of Lancelot's various escapades in my mind that I had to bring this in. I really hope you enjoyed it!
Cardeia
