Chapter 3
Disclaimer: don't own it. Jon is my own creation
A/N oh yeah I forgot. The song Fire and Rain belongs to James Taylor. This song is AMAZING!!!!!!! Cka3ka-13 recommends it!!!!!!! The chapter is short but time presses. I will have more on the funeral later
Just keep walking I thought firmly to myself as I walked slowly up the steps to the synagogue, my high heeled boots tapping rhythmically against the cement steps. I was scared, more scared then I had ever been in my life. At the viewing…I shuddered to think of it. Gordo's casket open, his face caked with makeup. In his black suit and dress shoes, he looked unlike any Gordo I had ever known. But that wasn't Gordo… my head reminded me. Oh yes, that wasn't Gordo. Whatever had made him smile and laugh and give me roses and kiss me was…gone. Gone forever. And where was he? That was the question I had been asking myself nonstop over the last few days. My family had never really gone to church. Did I believe in Heaven? I didn't know. There were moments when I could still feel Gordo, when I was sure that he would come to me. When I felt he wasn't dead. And then I would remember and the broken glass would cut into my heart. I would slump down on my bed, unable to breathe, unable to think of anything but how much I wanted him to come back. To take me in his arms and tell me everything was going to be ok. He's not coming back Elizabeth! Monster Lizzie yelled, Get it into your head! I hugged me coat more tightly around my dress as I stalled in front of the synagogue, waiting for the service to begin. As the parked cars out front became more numerous, I watched kids from my school walk up the steps. Kate, Claire, Ethan, and Claire's boyfriend Jon huddled in a circle by the hedge, talking quietly. Claire laughed at something Jon said and she leaned over and kissed him on the lips. Anger coursed through me. How could they come, if they were going to laugh at my boyfriend's funeral? Kate looked at me and I suddenly thought how awful I must look to them. I'd lost so much weight that my dress hung limply and I hardly wore any makeup. I had tried to look good for Gordo, but I was a foolish girl. Just…pathetic. "I'm sorry Gordo." I whispered, wiping my eyes, extremely glad I had donned waterproof mascara. "I tried, I really did."
Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I whirled around, surprised. Kate was standing behind me, her golden hair curling around her shoulders.
"Hey Lizzie." She said casually, playing with her black Von Dutch purse. I did not answer. "I was talking to you Elizabeth!" she said, her voice rising slightly.
"Hello Kate." I said coolly, preparing to walk over to where Miranda was getting out of her car, shoulders slumped with internal pain.
"Are you speaking today?" Kate blurted out, stepping nearer to me. I was pleased when her Versace sandal sunk in the grass.
"Yeah, I think so. I mean, he was my boyfriend after all." I smirked at her. Kate's blue eyes looked hurt and I softened, feeling bad that Monster Lizzie had taken over.
"I'm sorry Kate." I sighed, "I guess I'm just a little nervous that I'm going to mess up."
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Kate ran her manicured fingers through her glossy hair.
"You, Kate Sanders, have no idea what I mean." My voice was icy again, "My boyfriend is dead do you have any idea how much I hurt right now? No, of course not, because you're too wrapped up in your own little world to care what geeky Lizzie is feeling so I suggest you go rejoin your posse!" the words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. Where had they come from? Kate spoke calmly, her voice poised and calm.
"My cousin died last year." She said quietly. "She was the only person I had to talk to. And then she drowned in a lake. So no, maybe I don't know exactly how you feel right now Elizabeth, but I think I can come pretty darn close. Maybe you should think before you accuse someone of being heartless ok?" and with those words she picked her heel out of the ground and stalked into the synagogue. I simply stood there, my mouth clenched.
Poor Kate was all I could think Poor, sad Kate.
A/N I know it's short but dinner's almost ready and I promised chapter three!!!!!!
