I slipped my shoes off, enjoying the coolness of the wet grass on my bare feet. How long had it been since I'd taken a walk with my shoes off? I had no idea. Everything had seemed an effort lately and now, as I saw nine months of school in front of me, it just seemed too much to bear. Where would I be without Miranda and Gordo?

You still have Miranda, Nice Lizzie said reasonably, her voice coated in sweetness. I almost laughed aloud. Maybe I had Miranda, but I could feel her slipping away from me day by day.

"What?" Kate asked, noticing my rueful smile, "Do I have something on my face?"

"No, no. I was just thinking about…stuff." I said softly, not quite willing to discuss my life with a girl who had made my life hell since seventh grade. Oh sure, we had moments where we were almost friends. But they were always swallowed up when Claire or another member of the "Posse" walked up.

"It's not like that." Kate said softly, as if she read my mind.

"Not like what?" I asked, brushing grass off of my toenail.

"I never hated you Mc…Lizzie. I swear. Sometimes, I even wondered why I was sticking with Claire and all of them."

I shrugged, looking away. "It doesn't matter." I said softly

"Yes, it does." Kate said sadly, her blue eyes suddenly tired, "It matters more than anything in the world."

We walked past the field, watching most of the popular kids flirting as they ran laps, their perfectly sculpted bodies flying past those of imperfection…creating a dance that was far too complicated to join in. Kate grabbed my arm, pointing to Claire and Ethan, who were running side by side, their hands joined.

"That was my life." She said, her long hair blowing in the wind. "I could have had all of that…and more."

"Why did you give it up?" I asked, watching Ethan and Claire disappear into a secluded area by the goal post. Mr. Walker, the gym teacher, would never know that they were gone. Kate had suddenly left the "Posse" after tenth grade was over, but no one really knew why. Even so, she was still one of the more desired girls at Hillridge High School.

"It was empty. All I ever did was pretend and pretend. I had to pretend that I was in love with Ethan, pretend that my mother loved me and wasn't an alcoholic…pretend that my life was so perfect. I was always empty and it was all part of me. I never questioned it. Ever. And then I woke up in August and realized that I didn't want it anymore." Kate continued to gaze out at the field, her eyes thoughtful. "So, how about you Lizzie? How are you doing?"

I sighed, "I thought I was doing ok. And now there's nine more months of school and Miranda's not my friend anymore…everything's just sort of falling apart."

Kate's eyes widened, "You and Sanchez aren't friends anymore?"

"I guess we are." I said, fiddling with a piece of my hair, "But we've sort of…grown apart. We just deal with things differently I guess."

"I guess that's too bad. " said Kate, patting me awkwardly on the shoulder.

"Oh, it's been coming for awhile now." I said bitterly, "When Gordo and I started going out, she just sort of drifted away. Now she's part of the "skater" group. I get worried though. Lots of them are trouble." I scanned the field, watching the clique I had been so afraid of in middle school playing touch football and volleyball, wondering why I had ever feared them. Suddenly, my eyes opened wide as I caught sight of a dark haired boy standing by himself near the fence. He was staring at me. I shook my head and turned back to Kate, who was also watching the boy.

"That's Eric Parker." She said, as if answering a question. "He likes you."

"What?" I screeched, nearly fainting in surprise. "I-I mean…uh, how do you know?"

"He told me." Kate said simply waving at him with her drama queen fingers, "We used to be good friends and he was always talking about how pretty you were and how much he wanted to ask you out. And then you and David got together and he tried to forget about you."

Eric Parker, Eric Parker…the name was so familiar. And then I remembered a shy, dark haired boy who sat behind me in history class. Once in awhile I caught him attempting to smell my hair.

"That's Eric Parker?" I said, shocked at the transformation.

"I know, he's changed a lot." Kate said, her eyes twinkling merrily. "You know, I think he might ask you to that Halloween party that Bethany's giving. Would you say yes?"

I watched as Eric joined the game of football, tackling Jon Simmons and slamming the football in triumph as he scored a touchdown. Could I go out with Eric? No! The voice at the back of my head called out, How can you even think such a thing? Gordo's been dead for two months and you think that you can just fill that void?

"Ummm…" I said, for lack of anything better to say.

Kate's eyes softened and she wrapped her arms around me, one hand smoothing my hair. "It'll be ok Lizzie. Just hold on."

The shrill ringing of the bell broke the silence and I pulled away, an awkward silence falling between us. "Well, I should go. I want to get a good seat in English. Are you coming Kate?" Kate shook her head as she continued watching Ethan and Claire holding hands, an almost wistful look in her eyes.