Disclaimer: See Prologue
Chapter 7: The Deal
Andrea heard the doorbell chime. She got up and answered the door. Brenda stood on the other side, smiling.
"Hey!" Brenda said.
"Hey, I'm glad you could come!" Andrea replied.
The two women hugged. This wasn't a half-hearted or awkward affair. It had all the warmth of two friends happy to see each other.
Andrea led Brenda into the living room. She offered Brenda some coffee that Brenda gladly accepted. A few minutes later, a coffee cup sitting in front of each of them, they were sitting on the couch.
Brenda looked around. She'd never been in Andrea's parents' house before. There were family photos scattered around of Andrea at various ages, and also pictures of Hannah. She remembered the picture she had in her bag.
"Is Hannah here?" Brenda asked.
"No, my mom took her to the park," Andrea replied.
"Oh," Brenda said, slightly disappointed. She'd hoped to see Hannah again.
"So, how's life?" Andrea asked.
Both women laughed at this question.
"You look a bit… frazzled," Andrea added.
"Yeah well, after the morning I've had I'm not surprised," Brenda replied.
"What happened?" Andrea asked.
"Well, Brandon arrived for one thing," Brenda said, looking at Andrea to see how she'd react to that news.
Andrea started a bit. So Brandon was in town then?
"Everybody was happy to see him. Donna, David, Steve, Kelly…," Brenda said, and then paused.
After a moment she added, "And Dylan."
Andrea picked up on her tone.
"Dylan, huh?" she asked.
"Yeah," Brenda replied.
"What was it like seeing him again?" Andrea asked.
Brenda hesitated slightly. It wasn't easy to talk about Dylan, but she trusted Andrea. Out of all their friends, they were the two outsiders, the ones who didn't belong anymore. That seemed to bond them together somehow. She had a feeling Andrea would understand.
"It was strange, really strange. It's the first time I've seen him in five years, and he's standing there with Kelly. I don't know Andrea, I just felt like I wanted the floor to swallow me up. I've never been more grateful for a phone call in my life. Thanks by the way."
Andrea and Brenda laughed after the last part of Brenda's speech.
"Anytime," Andrea joked.
They laughed again, and then there was silence for a few moments.
"Brenda," Andrea began, "If you want to talk…"
Brenda looked at Andrea.
"I've never told anyone this before," she said to Andrea, "It hurts to talk about it. But I think it might hurt me more not to talk about it, you know?" Brenda said.
Andrea nodded, and waited for Brenda to continue.
Brenda took a deep breath, and then began her story.
"When Dylan and I got back together in London, everything was fantastic. I really thought 'this is it, this is forever'. We'd been together for a long time, over two years and I felt like nothing could go wrong. I loved Dylan, and he loved me. Everything was perfect."
Brenda paused for moment, and then continued.
"Dylan had gone to Hawaii to visit his mom and his sister. I couldn't go because I was rehearsing a play. He was only supposed to be gone for a couple of weeks anyway. Just before he left, I'd started feeling kind of sick. I figured it was just a stomach bug. There was one going around the theatre. A couple of weeks later though, I realised it was more than that."
"You were pregnant," Andrea stated, realising.
"Yeah," Brenda replied.
"What happened?" Andrea asked.
"I was shocked at first, but then I got used to the idea and I was really excited about it. I mean Dylan and I were happy, and our relationship seemed solid. Having a baby together seemed like the next step. I wanted to tell Dylan in person, not over the phone, so I decided not to say anything until he got back. But then he called and said Iris was having problems with Erica and he was gonna stay an extra couple of weeks. I thought it was no big deal. I mean I was dying to tell him, but what's an extra couple of weeks, huh?"
Andrea noticed that Brenda was close to tears at this point. She had her suspicions about what was coming next, and she looked at Brenda sympathetically.
"Anyway, two days before he was due to come back, I was at rehearsal. I started getting cramps in my stomach. At first I thought nothing of it. Then they got worse, a lot worse. I passed out, and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital."
Tears were flowing freely down Brenda's cheeks by now. She was determined to finish her story though.
"When I woke up, I asked the nurse about my baby. She just looked at me, and I knew. I knew my baby was…" Brenda started, but then paused.
"It's okay," Andrea said.
"My baby was… dead. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out. It just didn't make any sense. One minute I was having a baby and the next… it was gone. It wasn't fair!"
Brenda broke down in tears. Andrea moved to her and put her arms around her, trying to console her. They stayed this way for several minutes, as Brenda's grief pored out.
Eventually, Brenda composed herself. She had more to tell Andrea.
"When Dylan came home, it was like I was on another planet. He still didn't know, and I didn't know how to tell him. I still couldn't take it all in. I just wanted to go back in time, when I was happy and we were gonna have a baby. He didn't know what was wrong, and he got frustrated with me. I don't blame him. I was awful to live with. I just kept pushing him away. I don't know why. I just didn't want to be close to him anymore. It doesn't make sense now, but it did in some weird way back then. It went on like that for a few weeks, and then one night, Dylan had had enough."
"What the hell is wrong with you Brenda? I come near you, you push me away. You don't want to go out; you dropped out of the play. You won't take your parents' calls. What's going on?"
She sat on the bed, staring into the distance. It was like she didn't acknowledge anything he'd just said.
"I don't know what to do anymore Bren. I don't know what's going on, and you won't tell me. How can I help you if you won't talk to me?"
Brenda turned and looked at him.
"I don't need your help," she said in a monotone voice.
Dylan exploded.
"You don't need my help? You don't need my help! Then what do you need, huh? You want me to leave, is that it? Is that was this act is all about?"
"Maybe you should leave," Brenda replied, in the same tone as before.
"Yeah, maybe I should," he said.
"Okay then, leave," Brenda said.
"Bren…"
"Just leave! Go on! Leave me alone!" she screamed.
"You know what? I will! Have a nice life, Brenda."
"That was the last time I saw him, until today in the Peach Pit," Brenda finished.
"So wait, you never told him about the baby?" Andrea asked.
"No, I couldn't. Once he left, that was it. I was diagnosed with depression after he left. It took me a while to sort myself out. Once I did, it was too late. I mean what was I supposed to do? Call him up a year later and say 'Hey Dylan. By the way, I was pregnant but I had a miscarriage. How are you?' I don't think so," Brenda answered.
"What about now?" Andrea said.
"Now?"
"Yeah. He should know the truth Brenda," Andrea said.
"Like Brandon should know the truth?" Brenda blurted out.
Andrea backed off. Brenda closed her eyes for a moment, cursing herself for what she'd just said. There was silence for a few moments.
Brenda remembered the photo. It was too late to try and be subtle now, so she may as well talk to Andrea about her suspicions.
Brenda took the photo out of her bag and handed it to Andrea.
"You know who that is?" Brenda asked.
"Yeah," Andrea replied, "It's Brandon."
"Look like anyone you know?"
The resemblance was obvious. Her daughter's eyes were staring right back at her in that photo. Andrea sighed. There was no point in covering it up now. She'd already known Brenda suspected the truth, and that photo just confirmed it to anyone who happened to see it and compare it with Hannah. She turned and looked at Brenda.
"Okay, yeah. He's her father," Andrea admitted.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Brenda asked.
"Because, I didn't want him involved. I doubt he would have been too thrilled about it anyway," Andrea answered.
"Look Andrea, Brandon told me about what happened between you guys. I know he acted like a jerk, just leaving you there, but I'm sure you guys could have worked it out."
"It wasn't just that. It was what he said to me when I saw him at school; the way he made me feel. I just… I never wanted to see him again. Every time I was around him I just felt worthless, like I didn't matter. I didn't want that for me, or my child."
Brandon avoided the newsroom. Andrea would be there. If he kept his head low, he might be able to avoid her until A.P. English.
He walked down the hallway towards his locker. He turned a corner… and bumped straight into Andrea.
They both stared at each other awkwardly. Brandon sighed. He'd have to say something or things would just continue to get worse.
"Look, Andrea. About the Prom … I'm sorry."
"You could have called," Andrea replied.
"I know. I just didn't know what to say. I panicked. I mean it was a mistake. It should never have happened. I don't know what I was thinking," Brandon said.
"A mistake?" Andrea said, quietly.
"I think it would be best if we forgot the whole thing," Brandon continued, without hearing what Andrea had just said.
"You do?"
"Yeah, it wasn't worth it," Brandon said. He meant that it wasn't worth throwing away their friendship for, but it didn't sound that way to Andrea.
"Right, Brandon. Let's just forget it," Andrea replied.
"Great," Brandon answered.
He nodded to her, and left. Andrea stood there a while longer. All her worst fears had been confirmed. Brandon thought it was a mistake; thought she was a mistake. It didn't mean anything to him at all. No wonder he left. No wait, what was it he said? He "panicked". What did that say about her?
She'd always thought her first time would be special. Now it turns out the guy she waited for wished she'd just kept on waiting. She felt like a total idiot. Look at her. Of course Brandon was sorry. Who'd want to sleep with her?
She felt a sudden urge to cry. She could feel the tears coming already. She headed to the nearest girls' restroom and went into the last stall and locked the door. Her vision was already blurry by this point.
How could she have been so stupid, thinking maybe Brandon could possibly be interested in her? She was the class geek. The one no guy wanted to date.
But he was Brandon. The one guy she hoped would be different. The one guy she cared about more than anyone in the world. That's what hurt so much. She loved him, she always had, but to him she was nothing more than a bad choice he wished he'd never made.
"When I found out I was pregnant, I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't tell my parents. They were so proud of me for getting into Yale. How could I tell them that their 17 year old daughter was pregnant? So I just didn't tell anyone, not until I was at Yale. You'd think it would be easier telling someone over the phone than in person, but I dreaded that phone call. They surprised me though. They were disappointed at first, but they were really supportive. They helped me set up an apartment of my own for when the baby was born, and my mom and Grandma flew out for a while when Hannah was born and helped me out. I don't think I could have got through it without them. They asked who the father was of course, but I never told them. I think Grandma Rose suspected though. She used to ask me now and then how Brandon was."
Brenda couldn't help laughing at the last part. Andrea smiled too, in spite of herself.
"It was tough juggling a baby, school and a job, but I got through it. I didn't need Brandon. I never have," Andrea continued.
"What about Hannah? Maybe she needs Brandon?" Brenda said.
Andrea sighed. She knew Hannah missed not having a father.
"I'm sure you're a wonderful mom Andrea, but don't you think Hannah deserves to know her father? Don't you think Brandon deserves to know his daughter?"
Andrea knew what Brenda was saying made sense. Hannah did deserve to know her father. It was just a pity her father happened to be Brandon Walsh.
A sudden thought occurred to Brenda.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll talk to Dylan, if you talk to Brandon. After all, they both should know the truth," Brenda told her, smiling wryly.
Andrea smiled back, and chuckled.
"I hate it when people throw my own advice back at me," she said.
They both looked at each other and laughed.
"Have we got a deal?" Brenda asked.
Andrea thought about it for a moment. Hannah was getting older, and starting to ask more questions. Maybe if she got it out of the way now, she'd stand less chance of Hannah hating her when she became a teenager. Besides, even if she did have to accept Brandon into her life as her daughter's father, at least she'd be getting Brenda as her daughter's aunt along with him.
"Okay, deal," Andrea finally replied.
"By the way," she added, "Remind me never to invite you around for coffee again."
Andrea looked at Brenda and they both dissolved into laughter.
