Disclaimer: I do not own the Inuyasha characters.

Define Normal

Chapter Three - Dianna's Dilema

As his human was hyperventilating and to all appearences sinking into insantiy, Romeo was assessing the situation. "Men. I. Hate. Men. DON'T COME NEAR ME OR I'LL RIP OUT YOUR TAIL -- tail? Dog? You smell like the master dog!" ((he means wolf. and yes, Romeo really does hate men, i dunno why)). Just as Romeo had abruptly cut off his growling, Dianna woke up from her daze. She sniffed once, and looked up to see the man coming toward her as if for the first time. She squeaked. Romeo lept out of his servant's lap and stood in front of Dianna, growling once more. "I am the alpha male in this family, bub!" Kouga didn't seem to care, either that, or he just couldn't hear Romeo's thoughts. He stopped a few feet away from the annoying puffball of a dog. "So that's what Inuyasha is half of..heh. Too bad he wasn't half wolf-demon." Kouga thought to himself as he looked at the little dog in front of him desperately trying to look menacing. He broke off his gaze and looked at the human girl (mmm..we didn't even have to hunt for dinner tonight), she seemed to be starring at his clothing.

Dianna looked the man up and down ((not in the "i'm sexxing you up" way, just the "what the hell are you wearing" way)), and as usual, blurted out the first thing that came to her, "The entire kilt isn't supposed to be made of rabbit pelt. You're just supposed to have one on the right side of it." Kouga turned his full attention to her, "What? What the hell is a 'kilt'?" "Aren't I in Ireland?" Dianna asked. Kouga gave her a confused look. "Okay.. so I'm in Vegas. I'll just find Jess and AJ ..." The man was still giving her a confused look. Dianna stood up and said "Okay, where the heck am I?" One of Kouga's hunters yelled out from farther away, "Japan, you baka." Kouga smiled and said "To be more precise, MY territory."

"Oh damn-it all! We're in HIS terriotory? Now what are we going to do? And why is Dianna being so stupid, she's usually not good with strangers. Why is it that when the strangers are actually strange, she's okay with it?" Romeo thought. It was then that Romeo noticed all the men, 9 to be precise, behind the wolf-guy in front of him. Then he started freaking out, he turned-tail and ran behind Dianna's legs and continued growling.

Suddenly, Dianna could smell all the men (before she saw them - huzzah) in front of her. It was then that she noticed there was more than just this crazy guy. She sneezed and thought "Man..how long has it been since these guys took a bath? -sniff sniff- How long has it been since I've taken a bath? -sniff sniff- Hey... I can smell the dirt .. and the grass, and the trees, and the hormones comming off all those men.. uh .. yikes?" Dianna took a surprised jump back. Kouga miss-interpretted it, "Ahh, so you finally realized the predicament you're in?" He smiled evilly and said "If you don't wiggle around I might not drop you on the way up." That woke Dianna up from her sniffing phase, "Wait? Wha- drop me? Drop me off where!" The man tilted his head back as if to say 'look behind me' and said "My mountain. Couldn't you see it, it's right in front of you." "Man humans are stupid..." Kouga cleared his throat, and struck a slightly more valient pose. "You are in Kouga's territory now! And look men," he turned to look at his men behind him, "we already have half our food for tonight, and we didn't even have to hunt for it." Dianna's eyes appeared to become dinner plates, "What? You're going to EAT me? ROMEO MUSH!" With that, Kouga's dinner ran off into Inuyasha's forest, screaming something. Her little dog was running in the lead.

"Kouga?"

"Yes?"

"What is a 'Hannible Lector'?"

"I don't know, but she sure screamed that loudly, eh? Okay, lets give her a one minute head start just to make it interesting."

The one minutes passed rather slowly for those who were already on the verge of running after their dinner. When it finally was up, they ran even faster than normal, and that was pretty damn fast.

Dianna was on the verge of tears, like she always was when a situation was getting way out of controll. And to make it worse, she could hear a man's voice in her head!

"Holy crap holy crap holy crap.. me and my human are going to get eaten. I'M IN THE PRIME OF MY LIFE! Well.. she is too, but I'm just an iddle cute fuzzy poodle, what do they have against me? No wait.. I'm not a sissy! .. Yes I am. But no one else can know..."

Dianna hit her forehead once and yelled "STOP TALKING TO ME! I KNOW W'ERE GONNA DIE, ROMEO!" Then she stopped dead in her tracks. Romeo ran a few steps ahead, then stopped too, and looked back at his human surprised.

"... ... ... Romeo?"

"Yes?"

"WAHH! I can finally talk to you! I knew it would happen some day..."

"Yes, and now there is something very important I must tell you."

"Oh, what?"

"RUN!"

((author's note - Romeo is a poodle, but I taught him to run whenever I say mush, in case you're all wondering why I told him to do that when he's not a husky. :P))