The Nightmare Never Ends
Sleeping is difficult. It all seems so unreal. Ron's reaction wasn't exactly what I was expecting. My shoulders ache as I pull my shirt over my head. My fingers tremble as I undo the button on my pants. I ignore the bruises on my legs as I slip beneath the comforting sheets. I wrap them tightly around myself as if they might keep me safe, protect me from all the bad things. Images of Draco and Ron flit through my head. Only a few months ago it wouldn't even be a choice… Draco was an enigma to me. He was a stranger, a cruel bully. He was the enemy. It's hard to think back to where it all started. I remember back to the day I ran into him under the archway. I smile inspite of myself. I was so furious at Ron… and Draco just happened to be there, so cool, so handsome. He was the last person I wanted to see right then. I've wanted Ron for such a long time I'd forgotton what it was like to want someone else. I think of the time spent nursing Draco at the Burrow and then the shack and the Stoneblood potion. I didn't think I could have feelings for him after that… Yet, it wasn't really him. And he didn't go through with it.
I take a deep breath and turn onto my side. He had another chance at the mansion… When I was under the Imperius curse he could have taken advantage. I was throwing myself at him. And still he didn't, couldn't. He showed me how he really felt and in doing so earned my deepest respect. I don't know what to do… I know Ron loves me but Draco needs me. How can I leave one for the other? Neither would understand. I try to quiet my mind and fall asleep but it won't shut off. I don't fall asleep for a long time.
I sit in a tall-backed wooden chair in Dumbledore's office. I scan the room absentmindedly. I can't focus on anything. Everything seems blurry. My eyes are sore and they feel puffy. Dumbledore takes a seat in the chair across from me.
"Draco…" He starts slowly to catch my attention, I focus my gaze on him as best I can. "Your mother…" I wince at the mention of her but he continues. "Your mother was under the Imperius curse for more than twenty years. It's amazing she survived this long. The strain of acting against your father was too much for her. I know this will be hard but…"
"You don't know anything." My voice comes out cold and harsh but Dubledore simply nods his understanding.
"Her body has been taken care of… if you wish, we will arrange a funeral for her." I look out the window and avoid his questions. "I will need to know exactly what happened, Draco. I need you to explain it to me in detail if I am going to help you." I swallow thickly and look back at him. His eyes are kind but it pains me even to think about it.
"I can't…" My voice wavers. "It hurts." He simply nods again and places a firm, comforting hand on my shoulder.
"We shall wait until tomorrow then. A goodnight sleep will help. Things always seem brighter in the morning." He sounds hopeful but I am filled with doubt. How will a goodnight sleep help? My parents will still be dead in the morning. "You may sleep here if you'd like. It will help you avoid unwanted attention and unwelcome questions. I shrug and then nod. He waves his wand and a bed appears near the window. I pick myself out of the chair and head towards it, kicking off my shoes.
"I will take my leave then, but I shall return tomorrow morning." He puts one hand on the doorknob.
"Proffessor…" He stops and faces me once more. "My father… he's dead. His body is lying in the livingroom of the Malfoy Mansion." I expect him to ask more questions but he just nods.
"I will take care of it." Is all he says. Then, with a swish of robes, he's gone. I climb into the soft, warm bed still wearing my black t-shirt and dark jeans.
It takes a long time to fall asleep. I toss and turn. My dreams are littered with my mother's screams and my father's dark laughter. There are faces all around me… Hermione, my mother, Marissa, my father, Dumbledore... One by one I watch them die. I am swimming in a sea of blood. I can feel it oozing through my fingers and toes, dripping from the ends of my hair… I'm standing over Hermione, she's bound and gagged. I hold a cold looking dagger in one hand. I laugh as I plunge it into her heart. She tries to scream but nothing comes out… her features melt as she becomes my mother. My father stands over me, watching proudly as I become him. Killing everyone I love. Death is everywhere I turn, and it's all my fault.
