Lose Yourself In Me (PG)

This takes place on Friday, the 21st of May.

Jason didn't say anything as Elizabeth drove him home. The roads were surprisingly empty for a warm Friday night, and the golden street lights blurred in the inky sky as Elizabeth whizzed down the curve.

The moonlight fell on Jason's handsome face like a curtain, highlighting his features while cloaking part of him in mysterious shadows, and Elizabeth couldn't help it when her gaze kept straying to his profile. He was leaning back in the passenger seat, one shoulder pressed up against the door.

"Uh, you know, my dad would always tell me never to lean against the car door," she heard herself say. "He said it could be dangerous. You never know…you know?"

Jason licked his lips and straightened, clasping his hands in his laps. Even though Elizabeth mistook his silence for quiet misgivings about ordering him around, in truth, Jason was just so grateful that after everything she still came to get him that he had no problem doing whatever she wanted him to.

Elizabeth pulled into Jason's subdivision and zoomed past the other mansions before pulling into his driveway. She turned off the lights and shut down the car before leaping out herself in to the night.

Jason's surprise was tremendous when she appeared at his side and helped him out, then walked him into the house. He expected her to leave once she unlocked the door for him, but instead she guided him in and held the door open like he usually did for her. Once inside, she opted to leave her own jacket on and carefully helped him take his off, mindful of his sore arm.

As he slowly took off his motorcycle boots, Elizabeth turned on some lights in the house before returning to help him downstairs. He didn't need her to help support him or anything, but she insisted on holding his hand as they descended the steps.

His hand was large and rough and swallowed her small, soft one as always. He absently rubbed circles over her rose petal skin as he always did, and Elizabeth welcomed the same butterflies that always danced in her stomach when he did.

There were so many things she had missed about him, she realized as she switched on the basement lights. Things that she had never even imagined that she would notice so acutely were now things she yearned to experience again.

She liked the way he pinched his nose when he was annoyed or stumped. He did that a lot in Calculus – she had seen him doing it a few times during the AP when she had allowed her gaze to linger on him as he wrote.

She liked the way his eyes twinkled whenever she said something funny. They twinkled when she smiled at him and they twinkled when she teased him. He never got angry or irritated when she teased him, and he rarely teased her back. But the way he answered her teasing was what really got to her. That silky smooth voice, rough and sexy, did her in every time.

"Let's just get you to bed, Jason," she murmured as she helped him turn out the sofa bed.

He didn't say anything, just watched her as she straightened the sheets and fluffed his pillows. The events of the past hour had him feeling like a dog, and he reflected that he should be feeling worse. After a week of brushing her off and doing his best to stay away, the girl still showed up when he needed her. She came and took care of him, and he knew that he sure as hell didn't deserve it.

She unfolded his blanket should he need it – the night was warm, but just in case. His eyes were on her – Elizabeth could feel them. A warmth spread through her body and she couldn't explain why – something about the way his heated gaze swept over her, through her, into her left her tingly and breathless.

And that was probably the one thing among many that she found most attractive about her boyfriend – those piercing eyes. They were icy and cold when he was annoyed or upset, and fiery and warm when…whenever he looked at her. God, she loved the way he looked at her, like she was the most exquisite thing he had ever seen, like she'd vanish into thin air if he looked away for even a second.

She had always been privy to the thoughts of her friends regarding their beaus of the moment, and what she had seen with almost everyone was that eventually the newness wore off and the relationship – physical and personal – cooled off and fell into a rut.

That had never been the case with her and Jason. The little things about him still made her heart flutter – the way he ran his hand through his hair, his sexy little laugh, the length of his slender fingers and toes, his defined biceps, and even the cute little way he smirked at her when she was being silly. And Jason had done the same for her. The way he talked to her like her opinion was the most important thing in the world, the way he treated her like she was a princess and he her white knight, the way he kissed her. He made her feel so special and perfect even after they had been seeing each other for a couple months.

Her sigh was soft, but Jason still heard it. How had things spiraled out of control so fast? Would she ever feel him stroke her hair again? Would she ever have the chance to sit in his lap like she always did? Would he ever sing Bohemian Rhapsody to her again, or grab her hand while they ran inside the school building together after lunch?

The basement lights were dim, and the alcohol humming through his body allowed Jason to drown out all other stimuli save the angel in front of him. She was kneeling on the sofa bed and straightening his pillows and fixing the sheets over the spring mattress.

He loved it. He loved the way she always wanted to take care of him, the way she always wanted to mother him. And of course, he always let her. It didn't really matter that the guys snickered when she fixed the collar of his shirt before they split for class, or when she always handed him a napkin during lunch. It was the little things like that that put him at such ease around her. She wasn't trying to change him – she had never done that. She was just so keen on helping him and so tuned into his personal habits that it just came naturally – for both of them.

He missed that. He missed everything about the remarkable girl that was still so bent on taking care of him. Jason rubbed a hand over his face, feeling a little hazy from the combination of alcohol and the warmth of sleep that was already beginning to claim his body. He never thought that he would enjoy having someone baby him – never thought that he would want someone to baby him. His mother used to, until Jason made a point to put an end to that. It had always annoyed him slightly when she fussed about after him; after all, she still had one other son that needed babying.

But Elizabeth was so different. It made Jason feel so special and important that this truly amazing girl cared for him enough to straighten his collar or zip up his jacket or insist that he wear socks and shoes in the winter instead of his sandals.

He missed everything about her – the way she laughed with him, the way she teased him, the way she'd lean into him when they talked. Watching her fuss with the sheets, Jason's fingers twitched.

He wanted to touch her.

He wanted to hold her.

Good God, he just wanted all this behind them so he could go back to loving her the way she deserved.

"That should do it," Elizabeth murmured softly, pushing herself off the bed. The basement lights were set on the dimmest setting, but she still noticed the way the sheets bunched in the corner near where Jason was standing, and quickly moved to straighten them over the mattress.

She was a few inches away from him, kneeling over the corner of the bed and tugging the white sheets when Jason's knees turned to mush. And it was when a thick lock of chocolate hair slipped past her small, delicate shell of an ear and into her moonlit face that Jason melted altogether.

Elizabeth's gasp echoed in the scant distance between them when Jason's rough fingertips found her cheek to tuck her hair behind her ear. Her startled sapphire eyes met his piercing cerulean orbs, glistening in the darkness and before she knew what was happening, Jason's lips met hers in a searing kiss.

And Elizabeth kissed him back.

Suddenly, the melancholy tension that had plagued them all night evaporated; nothing existed but the firm press of his lips against hers. It didn't matter that they hadn't spoken in a week; it didn't matter that he had just come back from a bar fight and that her grandfather was waiting for her at home. Nothing mattered to the two of them; both were so desperate for comforting, familiar physical contact – just one more kiss, one more touch – that there was no extinguishing the fire now that the flames had been fanned.

Elizabeth's hands found his strong jaw and her fingers fanned out to frame his face and bring him closer still. Jason moaned at her aggressiveness as he smoothed his hands down her neck, his long fingers brushing against the collar of her leather jacket.

Elizabeth barely felt it when he pushed her jacket off her shoulders and onto the floor. But she did feel the warmth of his hands setting the soft skin of her bare shoulders aflame, and she purred against him. Jason used the opportunity to softly press the tip of his tongue against her lips.

She accepted him immediately, granting him access into the sweet, warm recesses of her mouth as his fingers slipped under the thin straps of her black tank top and her black bra underneath. But Elizabeth wasn't guilty of just standing idly around either – her hands were already fisted in his brown tee-shirt, anxiously tugging it free from the waistband of his black jeans.

He growled into her mouth when her soft, cool hands found his abdomen and wandered around to his back, pushing his shirt up high. Jason didn't know how this started, didn't remember who started it, and certainly wasn't able to stop – especially with the way she was sucking his bottom lip.

Her arms were around his shoulders, pulling her tight black top up and offering a creamy expanse of her narrow waist to his open exploration. She was so tiny; if he spread his hands out at the pinch of her waist, he could almost make them touch.

Elizabeth tugged at his shirt, effectively bringing Jason's hands up from the waistband of her black hiphuggers to her stomach. His fingers pushed up the cotton tank and probed upwards, massaging gentle circles on her heated flesh as he made love to her mouth.

And the next thing she knew, they were moving. She wasn't sure if he was pushing her toward the bed or if she was pulling him, but it didn't matter. She just wanted to feel his body against her, hear his ragged voice in her ear, taste his lips against hers.

Jason grunted as she pulled him back, and effectively managed to twist around so that they fell on the bed with him on the bottom. Their limbs were tangled together but that didn't stop Elizabeth from nuzzling Jason's neck. He moaned and rubbed a large hand up and down her slender thigh, eliciting electrifying tingles that she had never felt before.

Jason felt her shiver against him and repeated the motion, receiving a purr of pure pleasure against the column of his throat. Elizabeth was teasing him again – kissing a path of blazing kisses up his neck and to his chin, and rerouting just as she reached his lips. He squirmed underneath her, trying to redirect her attention and capture her mouth, but she eluded him and continued to push him toward the edge.

Finally, Jason had taken all he could. A pair of strong hands reached up to frame his girlfriend's beautiful face, and Jason lifted himself up off the bed to leave her breathless with a scorching kiss.

Elizabeth's body melted against his at the pure passion of the kiss until she lay flush against him, her fingers spearing through his golden hair. Through the wave of sensations he had sent washing through her body, Elizabeth felt the pressure of his arousal pressed low against her belly.

It was as if someone had just dumped a bucket of ice cold water all over her.

Shit. For a moment, she couldn't think. She just froze on top of him, his mouth still doing wonderful things to her unresponsive lips.

Damn it, what the hell was she doing? Try as she might, Elizabeth couldn't come up with an answer. What in the world was she thinking? Again, her brain cramped out on her as Jason's large hand splayed against the small of her back to hold her in place against him.

Elizabeth shivered, and this time not with pleasure. She knew what they were doing – what they were going to do. And it scared her. Jason might know what he was doing, but she didn't – and she didn't know if she wanted to find out tonight.

It was too soon. She couldn't handle this right now. A sharp intake of air helped kick her mind in gear – again, things had spiraled out of control. Damn it, she was such a tease. How the hell did she get herself into this mess?

Tears welled up in her eyes as she broke the kiss. Jason looked up at her, surprised, and Elizabeth blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear the moisture that pooled inside her lids. It didn't work.

And Jason had noticed. Even in his slightly inebriated state, he still noticed.

"Elizabeth?"

"I-I-Jason, I have to go." She sniffed back her tears and abruptly pushed herself off of him. He let her get up, didn't fight her at all, but surprised her by rising with her.

"Elizabeth-"

She scooped her leather jacket up off the floor and hastily fixed her bra strap and tank top straps with trembling fingers. "I-I really should be going – I c-can't be here right now."

"Wait, Elizabeth, please-" Jason moved to stop her but Elizabeth was quicker. She planted the palms of her hands against his chest and lightly pushed him back. The pressure, in combination with his fatigue and hazy mind, knocked him on to his back on the bed.

"Get some sleep, Jason."

He rose again, slower this time, and determined to stop her so that they could talk, but Elizabeth had the upper hand. She pushed him back firmly this time, and after waiting to make sure he didn't move, she didn't move. Jason's eyes were already hooded and half-closed as she backed up toward the stairs, checking one last time to make sure he was okay.

When she was sure, Elizabeth raced up the steps and out of the door. She unlocked her little Acura and got in quickly, but just sat there in the driveway for a few minutes before she realized that she had better get home. After staring blankly at her keys for a few seconds, Elizabeth finally remembered to insert them in the ignition and she was soon flying down the roads with reckless abandon, ready to get home.

Her grandfather was sitting in the living room when she arrived, and was on his feet the instant he heard her keys in the lock.

"Bethie!" His light blue eyes were anxious and worried. "Where were you? Sonny must have called three times asking if you made it home, and-" He stopped when he took in the weary look in her eyes. "Honey, are you all right?"

"Just fine, Pappy," Elizabeth assured him. He bought it, as he should have – after all, she had been rehearsing it all the way home. "Just tired."

"Oh." Steve tucked his hands into the pockets of his striped pajama bottoms. "Was everything else all right?"

Elizabeth nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Well?" He watched her shrug off her coat and shuck her shoes. "What happened?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "Nothing, really. I showed up at Jake's, guilted everyone else into leaving, and then Sonny and I got Jason out. We stood around in the parking lot for a little while, and then I dropped Jason home."

Steve nodded. "But where were you, honey?"

Elizabeth sighed and leaned one hand against the closet door. "I just…drove around for a little while, Pappy," she lied. It was easier than telling him the truth – that she had gotten Jason all fired up and then split like a Welsh rabbit. "I'm sorry, I know I should have called, but I just…I…I don't know."

Her grandfather sighed. "It's all right, sweetheart," he murmured as he drew her close for a great big bear hug. "It's okay. Why don't you just go to bed, honey? You look beat."

Elizabeth didn't bother to argue with him and trooped up the stairs to the refuge of her bedroom. She stood in the center of it and looked around helplessly, unsure of what to do. After a few minutes, she wearily shucked her clothes and wiggled into her pajamas, slipping her Moulin Rouge soundtrack into her stereo and grabbing her telephone.

It was late, but she knew the person she was calling would still be up. The phone rang twice before it was answered by a perky feminine voice.

"Hi, Baldwin and Webber residence. Dominique speaking."

"Dom?" Elizabeth's voice was soft and teary. "Is Sarah there?"

Dom must have sensed that something was wrong because her voice lost its typical animation. "Sure, sweetie, hold on just one sec."

Elizabeth leaned back into the silk pillows against her headboard and waited for Sarah to come to the phone. It was late, all right, but her sister was still up as usual. The girl was a night owl, just like Brenda. Elizabeth would have called her best friend, but she was hesitant to do so because she knew that Bren was busy with her mom. And she wouldn't dream of calling Sonny about this, no matter how close they were. And even though she was exceptionally tight with Sydney and Jenny, she wasn't sure that she wanted to talk to them about something as private as this.

It was times like this that Elizabeth Webber was so grateful for the fact that she had such a wonderful big sister.