No Bailing
This takes place on Sunday the 23rd of May.
Jason Morgan was jumpy. He might as well have been named Jiminy instead of Jason.
The only sound he heard as he paced up and down the hallway was the kitchen clock, ticking down the seconds until his imminent doom. He had done it. He had called her. Then why did that small victory reward him with only a powerful wave of nausea? What if she didn't listen? What if she didn't care? What if the only reason she agreed to come was to tell him to his face that he was an incorrigible ass-clown and that she wanted to break up? Because if there was anyone that would use the words "incorrigible" and "ass-clown" together, it was Elizabeth; that much was for sure.
The doorbell jarred him out of his silent reverie and Jason nearly jumped a foot in the air. It took him a minute to convince his feet to move, and his palms were sweaty as he reached for the doorknob. He pulled it open slowly and his heart began to thunder in his chest when he laid eyes on her.
She was wearing dark, ragged denim cutoffs and a blue Fraggle Rock t-shirt that brought out her even bluer eyes. Her toes wiggled in her customary brown leather flip-flops as she waited for him to let her in. It took Jason a minute to remember how to breathe and when he did, he sucked in a deep breath and moved aside to let her enter.
"Hi."
Elizabeth crossed her arms uncomfortably over her chest as she stepped into the foyer. "Hey," she replied softly, her eyes darting around the room in an attempt to avoid meeting his.
Jason swallowed thickly. "We have to talk."
Her smile lacked humor. "Yeah, I figured as much."
His bare feet shuffled on the tiles as Jason moved back a step, being sure to let her have as much room as he could. The last thing she needed after his little performance Friday night was to have him breathing down her neck. "You wanna go down to the basement?"
The words were out of his mouth before he realized the meaning behind them, and Jason instantly snapped his mouth shut in regret. Damn it. The basement? The place where he had done his damndest to get into her pants, all the while in a drunken haze? What the hell was he thinking! She hadn't even been in his house for twenty seconds and already he was screwing everything up. He was about to stammer out something in the way of damage control, but Elizabeth surprised him by removing her flip-flops at the door and walking past him toward the stairs.
"Sure. That's fine."
Again, Jason had to mentally threaten his feet to move. Following her slowly down the stairs gave him a much-needed moment to take her in. Her hair was thrown into a messy ponytail with wisps and strands everywhere; it was his favorite hairstyle of hers, even better than those cute pigtails she had apparently outgrown. He took in her jaunty movements, the way she kept her arms rigid, and his shoulders slumped with remorse. For the first time, she was uncomfortable in his house, around him, but typical to her style, she refused to show it.
She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, uncertain of where to go from there. Jason squeezed out from behind her and slowly milled around by the couch, hesitant to sit down. Elizabeth must have seen how ridiculous the situation was because the next thing he knew, Jason heard her huff and she was making a beeline for the couch and pulling him down on it with her.
"OK," she started, brushing her hair out of her face as she crossed her legs on the dark green sofa. Jason was seated across from her, and it took a minute for the surprise to wear off and for him to find a more comfortable position in which to sit. "So let's talk. What do you want to talk about? The weather? Sports?"
The corner of his mouth hooked up. "Elizabeth…"
"Not a sports guy, huh?" she asked quickly, twiddling her fingers frenetically in her lap. "Weather, then. There's an interesting cold front moving in over Canada and I think we'll see some heavy but scattered precip-"
Jason couldn't help it when his face broke into a smirk and he reached forward and covered Elizabeth's hands with his for just a moment, long enough to get her to shut up about Canada. "Elizabeth, we have to talk about us." She just stared back at him, doing her best to keep her eyes from revealing anything – it was a skill she had obviously learned from him. "Or, actually, I guess I should do most of the talking." Still nothing. "Right."
They sat in silence for a minute as Jason tried to think of how to say everything and make her understand that, yes, he knew he was a jerk and that he was truly sorry and couldn't bear the thought of losing her. Elizabeth was watching him carefully, searching his face and averted gaze for any sort of sign. She didn't find what she was looking for.
Jason's bright eyes widened when Elizabeth launched herself off the couch and grabbed her hemp purse off the coffee table. "Woah, Elizabeth, where are you-"
"You can't do it, can you?" she burst out when he grabbed her elbow and spun her around in an effort to get her to look at him. "Even now – you can't do it! You can't open your mouth and tell me what's going on." Her eyes remained dry but Jason's heart clenched at the wobble in her voice. "Jason, what kind of relationship is that? When you can't even-"
"I can't run anymore," he blurted, his hands still on her elbows. "I can't run ever again and that's how this whole damn thing started."
She was staring out at him from two big, blue doe eyes, and he could tell that the shock of his words had played some part in extinguishing her initial anger. It was a moment before she spoke and when she did, Elizabeth's voice was soft and controlled. "W-What? When did you find out?"
His sigh was heavy as he let go of her elbows and let his hands drop to the side. She cocked her head to meet his gaze when Jason looked away, and waited patiently until he answered. "A week ago from Friday. Apparently, my legs healed too quickly and incorrectly at that, because the problem is the same."
Elizabeth bit her lip and let her eyes flutter closed for a moment. "I'm sorry."
Jason laughed quietly, a rustling, humorless sound in the quiet basement, and turned away from her toward the couch. "Yeah, I knew you'd say that."
Elizabeth squinted at him as he turned around and leaned against the armrest of the sofa. She didn't think she liked his tone – it was as if he was saying there was something wrong with her being sorry. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"It means," he stated pointedly, "that I don't want you to be sorry."
The petite brunette moved closer, her bare feet making no sound on the thick carpet. "Why not, Jason? Why won't-"
"Because I've been a complete ass, Elizabeth!" he burst out, throwing his hands in the air in emphasis. "You have no reason to feel sorry for me after everything I did – if I had just told you what happened outright and not wallowed in my own self-pity; if I hadn't ditched you time after time and ignored every attempt you and Sonny made to reach out to me. I know that you were trying to help, but I just couldn't accept it at that point in time, and what I did was wrong and juvenile and selfish and you shouldn't-"
"Woah, woah," she whispered, reaching up to cup his chin in her small, cool hands. Jason closed his eyes at the familiar gesture and slowly expelled a long breath. His eyes remained shut and Elizabeth took a minute to just look at him as her thumb gently stroked the light stubble on his strong jaw. He hadn't shaved in a day or so; she could tell that much immediately. "Last time I checked, Morgan, you didn't tell me what to do."
Jason's eyes flew open but words failed him for the moment. He saw the smug gleam in Elizabeth's sapphire orbs as she waited for him to say something, anything, to refute that, but they both knew he couldn't.
"See, that's the thing about us, Jason," she continued softly, her hand still stroking his jaw line tenderly and bringing his face down closer to hers. "I get to care about you, and I get to worry about you no matter what. Jason, I'm sorry that you can't run anymore, but why wouldn't you tell me? Did you think that I wouldn't understand? That I wouldn't be sensitive enough and that I'd brush it aside like it was no big-"
Jason couldn't take the uncertainty in her pained voice anymore and lifted one finger to her lips. "No, no, Elizabeth, that wasn't it at all."
"Then why wouldn't you tell me?"
The anguish in her voice had him feeling like an "incorrigible ass-clown" all over again, and Jason rubbed the back of his neck with one broad hand. "Because…Because I couldn't, Elizabeth. When I showed up at the hospital that day and the Doc told me that my legs weren't healing the way they should and that I'd have even worse pain if I ever ran again, I just…I didn't know how to take it." His eyes were pained and he refused to meet Elizabeth's concerned and empathetic gaze. "I just shut down. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want anyone to tell me that they were sorry, because that was like saying they knew what I was going through and I didn't even know what I was going through. I just didn't want anyone around."
Elizabeth hooked her painted thumbs into the loops of her jeans and looked at her toes, and Jason felt her withdraw mentally and emotionally from him. "Not even me."
It wasn't a question, but he treated as such. Looking straight into her eyes, Jason shrugged his shoulders, a movement so slight it would have been imperceptible to someone who didn't know him inside-out like Elizabeth. "Not even you. Especially not you."
"But why, Jason?" she burst out, and for the first time during their conversation, he could hear the anger in her voice. And what was more, Jason could see it in her expressive eyes. "Why especially not me? Try to make me understand here, Jason, because I really don't. Not – not at all."
He sucked in a deep breath and tried to focus. "Because I didn't know what you'd think of me," he whispered back.
The incredulity on her face didn't even come close to that in her voice. "What I'd think of you? Jason, what the hell are you talking about? Is that what you think of me – that I'd ditch you the second I found out that you wouldn't be Jason Morgan, Track Star anymore? That I'd think of you differently because-"
"Don't you get it, Elizabeth?" he burst out, his voice edgy and his eyes wide and imploring. "Track was something I had been involved in since junior high – I've always been the best at it. It's what I do. So when I got back from the hospital knowing that I'd never be able to do it again, yeah, it pretty much turned everything upside down. At that point, I thought of me differently; I wasn't ready to find out what you'd think. It was a – a-"
"A vulnerability," she finished softly. He didn't say anything and suddenly, Elizabeth understood. It was as clear as day, and she wondered how she had never thought of it before. A new light of understanding flooded into her eyes and she moved slowly toward him, inching steadily closer to the armrest on which he sat.
"You thought you were weak."
Jason swallowed thickly and looked away, but Elizabeth wouldn't have any of that. This time, she placed both her hands tenderly on his face, framing it, and gently forced him to look at her. "Jason, for all the words I'd ever use to describe you, weak would never be one of them. Stubborn, yes. Macho, yes. Weak? Never."
Her attempt at humor didn't have its desired affect, and Elizabeth could plainly see the depression in Jason's vivid blue eyes. She hated that he felt this way; he may have brought it all on himself in some ways, but she still hated that he was dealing with this. "Jason, listen to me, okay? I don't know if you've realized, but you're trying to be Superman, hon."
Jason's brows furrowed at her words, but his mind was stuck on the last one. She had actually called him hon. And that little bit of information sent something inside him aflutter.
"You've always been so strong and so supportive and understanding through all the messes I've found myself in," she whispered. "You talked me off a ledge when my dad was on me about Johns Hopkins; you listened and held me and just let me be when I found out that I wasn't going to Stanford. Jason, you've always been around since we…since we began, to give me your support and your attention and anything else you thought I needed. I knew that even when I was pissed at the 'rents, or if Brenda and I got into a huge fight and I vowed never to speak to her again until the end of time, I'd always have you. And you have no idea how great a feeling that is. See, Jason, that's the thing – you do your best to be there for everyone: me, Sonny, your friends, your track teammates. But who gets to be there for you, Jason?"
Though the sadness was still there, the look in his eyes told Elizabeth that he was listening. She just had to stick to it until he understood.
"There's nothing wrong with needing someone, Jason," she whispered. "Everyone needs someone. I needed you. Feeling that way doesn't make you weak. A medical condition that was completely out of your hands doesn't make you weak. If anything, Jason, I think you're one of the strongest people I know; I sure wouldn't have been able to deal with all that. But you did. You dealt with it alone, even if I don't like that part. Don't you see, Jason? You've showed me time and time again without even meaning to just how strong you are. You always used to tell me that I was the strong one for all the craziness I put up with all the time, but you sell yourself short. Jason, I could never think any differently of you. This wasn't vulnerability, a weakness; it was something terrible that, unfortunately, no one had the power to control or fix. Something like that doesn't detract from your strength as a person, Jason; if anything, it's a testament to it."
Elizabeth's words were sinking in, and Jason took the time to let his eyes drift over her face as she spoke. Her beautiful eyes, vivid and alive with emotion and the will to make him understand; her beautiful, full mouth as it poured forth words of encouragement and strength. Good God, how had he gone so long without her? How did she have the ability to turn his mood around with just a few words? And how the hell had he let himself treat her that way?
"I had no excuse to behave the way I did."
Elizabeth bit her lip. "So explain to me why you did."
Jason's sigh was heavy with the weight of the world, and his rough hand gently closed over Elizabeth's soft one as he urged her to take a seat on the couch. She did, pulling her legs up underneath her as always, and Jason turned around on the armrest to face her, his bare feet on the green cushion. "When I found out, I just shut down. It was really that simple. I couldn't tell you a word of what anyone said to me that day – I was totally gone. I couldn't pay attention to anything, I couldn't talk to anyone, I couldn't do anything – I just wanted to be left alone. And after school that day, you were standing with everyone by Syd's locker and I just…I couldn't do it. I couldn't come over and talk to you and pretend for them that I was fine when all I wanted to do was ram my fist through something hard."
He looked up at her for the first time since he began, and was relieved to see that she was patiently listening, either feeling little or no anger toward him at the moment or doing a damn good job at hiding it.
"And then later, Luke and Taggert found me and invited me over to Luke's place."
"To drink."
Jason looked at Elizabeth, surprise etched across his handsome features. "Y-You knew about that?"
The corner of her mouth hooked up into either a wry smirk or a sympathetic grimace; he couldn't tell which. But neither one helped eradicate the sinking feeling he suddenly felt in the pit of his stomach. "Yeah."
That one word sent a rush of blood straight to his face and Jason couldn't even look at her anymore. Damn it. She knew that instead of talking to her, he had gone out and gotten drunk. Damn it! Why the hell was she still talking to him?
"Jason." Her hand fell on his knee and nudged him gently. "Jason? Hey. Hi. Talk to me." He just grimaced and looked away again, and Elizabeth sucked in a breath, thinking he wouldn't continue, when he spoke again.
"So you knew. You knew the whole time."
She shrugged. "Pretty much."
Jason swore and swung his leg off the armrest he occupied. His track shorts swished as he stood, and Elizabeth found herself staring at his back as his fingers speared through his silky golden locks.
"Jason? I-"
"Then why are you here, Elizabeth?" he demanded suddenly, spinning around to face her. "If you knew that I blew you off to go get drunk off my ass, why did you come? Why are you still speaking to me?"
"Because I can't let go of everything I've ever felt for you overnight, okay?" she burst out, standing up and stalking over to him. Her nostrils flared and despite his current confusion of emotions, Jason's hormones felt it necessary to let him know that he did indeed find that incredibly sexy. "Make me understand here, Jason – talk to me."
He pulled a deep breath in through his nose, his bright eyes never leaving hers. "Elizabeth, I blew you off to go get drunk off my ass."
She simply quirked a brow at him. "Yes, I got that part."
"And then I blew you off for the next week because…"
"Because…?"
"Because I was embarrassed," he blurted out. "Embarrassed that instead of coming to you, the one person that in retrospect probably would have understood what it meant to me a hell of a lot better than anyone else except maybe Sonny, I went and hung out with two guys that I'm not even that tight with and started drinking, okay? It wasn't something that I had ever done before and it was totally out of character-"
"Then why did you do it?" Elizabeth asked softly. "To shut everything out?"
Jason shrugged. "Pretty much. And it worked, you know? For that night and the next day, I didn't feel a goddamn thing except sick to my stomach. But that was better than thinking about what happened. And after that, I was too embarrassed to come talk to you, and it was just easier to stay away. One thing led to another, and before I knew it had snowballed into this huge thing that I had no idea how to control. So when Luke called me and told me to get over to Jake's on Friday night, I did it. It felt like I didn't have anything left to lose – I had already gotten into a huge fight with Sonny, I figured that you hated me anyway, so I went and tried to do the same thing all over again."
"Jason, I didn't hate you." Elizabeth's voice was soft and comforting – too much more than Jason felt he deserved. She sighed and pushed him gently to the couch and sat down beside him. "I was hurt and confused and really…pissed off, but I didn't hate you."
And that was what Jason didn't understand. "Why not? Elizabeth, after all that crap – I basically cut you loose without even a word of-"
"Because something told me that there was something behind it all," she replied honestly. "I guess I just held out on the hope that you'd tell me. Plus…my grandpa kinda talked me into…not giving up."
Jason frowned. "Yeah, I kinda figured. He said he'd beat me with his shoe."
"What?"
The blonde shook his head. "Never mind. I'm not even sure I can explain."
They sat there in silence for a few moments that seemed to stretch into eternity, each waiting for the other to say something while fretting about what to say themselves. Finally, Jason managed to gather his turbulent bundle of thoughts together and broke the silence.
"Elizabeth, I know that…that I've been a pain in the ass, but I…I really hope you can forgive me." Her eyes flew to his and Elizabeth opened her mouth to say something but now that Jason had started, he wasn't going to stop until he had said everything. "I know I probably don't deserve it, but I can't stop hoping anyway. Because I don't want to lose you – I can't bear the thought of losing you. Elizabeth, I've never felt this strongly about anyone before; none of the other girls I dated mattered that much to me because they were just passing girls that I wasn't really attached to in any way and, dear God, I can't believe I just said that because I know the last thing you want to hear about are the other girls I dated, and damn it, I said it again, and I'm sorry not that you have to care because I'm an ass but I hope you do because I don't want to spend my twentieth high school reunion hiding by the punch bowl because only the morons hang by the punch bowls and you know what?- I don't even like punch especially the kind with the little bits of fruit in it because it's disgusting but not as disgusting as scotch though keep in mind that I only took a sip of it and didn't get hammered on it or-"
He didn't notice the laughter in her eyes until she scooted forward on the couch and pressed a finger to his lips to shut him up. After all, Canada was one thing, but punch? That was quite another. "Hold it there, Golden Boy," Elizabeth smirked. "I'm the rambler in this pair."
He nodded, her finger still on his lips, and Jason's heart stopped racing when Elizabeth smiled gently back at him. She knew that he had been as honest as he could with her throughout the whole conversation, and that was all she had wanted from the beginning. And the anguish in his voice when he talked about losing her was a definite plus. In her heart, she knew she couldn't stay mad at him forever; it wouldn't be right because the boy was clearly deeply sorry and that helped. A lot. "Jason, I can forgive you."
That was the last thing he had been expecting to hear, and especially so soon. If he was in her place, he would have let himself cool his heels for a week or so while dangling the prospect of a reunion in front of his face like a carrot before a mule. Or more appropriately, an ass. "What? Really?"
Elizabeth nodded slowly. "Yeah. Because I don't want to lose you either, and I figure it'd be a real shame if we split just because of this. Every couple fights; we were lucky enough not to really deal with that until something really big came up, you know? That's gotta be saying something."
"Oh, thank God!" Jason burst out in a combination of relief and elation. He threw his arms around her and pulled her into his lap as he always used to do, and Elizabeth squealed and wiggled just as she always did. She giggled when he dropped a dozen kisses on her face and when his lips brushed hers, she pulled him closer and kissed him just as she had wanted to for the past week. Jason pulled her closer still and the sudden change in motion brought Elizabeth crashing to his chest and before either of them could prevent it, they had fallen over on the couch and were nestled intimately together on the cushions. Jason was about to pull away slightly for her comfort when Elizabeth settled back contentedly and lay her head down on his shoulder. The entire tussle reminded him of something else that he knew was still lurking between them like a beast, waiting for the right time to surface and ruin any pleasant encounter.
"Elizabeth…there's one more thing we have to talk about."
She looked up at him, her chin lightly brushing his chest and sending warm tingles up and down his body. "Oh?"
"We have to talk about what happened here Friday night."
Elizabeth dipped her head into the crook of his neck but Jason still saw the scarlet blush that crept down to her chest. "Oh," she whispered, and from the sound of her voice he could tell that she was nervously chomping on her lip. "I was kinda hoping you had forgotten about that."
Jason groaned to himself at the innocence and embarrassment in her voice – she had nothing to be embarrassed about. It was him – it had all been his doing. Propping himself up on one elbow and squirming around a bit, Jason managed to look directly at Elizabeth as she tried to hide behind a throw cushion. "Elizabeth…I don't know what I can say to fix that. I…I can't believe I let it happen, and I can't believe I let it go as far as I did, and please, Elizabeth, believe me when I say that I would never forgive myself if I hurt you, and I want you to tell me if I did in any way-"
Her sigh was soft and light. "Jason, you didn't hurt me. You'd never hurt me."
"Elizabeth, I was drunk," he pointed out bluntly.
"You weren't completely drunk," she replied honestly. "You probably don't remember very well anyway, but you weren't completely passed-out-drunk. You were pretty buzzed, that's all. OK, really buzzed. But, Jason, I know you'd never hurt me. Even then…I knew that you'd stop yourself before you did."
Her words, the understanding and concern in them, made his head spin. "Elizabeth…anything could have happened. I could have-"
"But you didn't," she replied quickly, her blue eyes blazing. "Nothing happened."
"Elizabeth, I was a stumbling, horny drunk and I tried to undress you. That's not exactly nothing."
Her eyes softened at the concern he showed her and the loathing he generously bestowed upon himself. "I'm a big girl, Jason."
If she wasn't mistaken, his eyes darkened. "I know."
Doing her best to hold off another tell-tale blush, Elizabeth sat up slightly and brushed her hair hesitantly behind her ear. "I would have stopped it if something happened that I wasn't comfortable with. In fact, I stopped it long before that," she muttered under her breath, and Jason frowned at her tone of voice. She sounded as if she were blaming herself for something.
"Elizabeth, you didn't do anything wrong. I-"
"I lit out of there like my pants were on fire, Jason," she replied, averting her gaze for a minute before he put his fingers under her chin and forced her to look at him like she forced him. "I was a total tease – I just got scared at some point and practically shoved you off of me. I didn't mean to. I was just scared. Jason, you were – I felt – Jason, I think I somehow-"
"Turned me on," Jason replied bluntly. He was doing his best to suppress a grin because he knew it would only embarrass the brunette beauty in his arms more, but he wasn't doing too great a job because she was already turning bright red. Even though he told himself to rein those dirty thoughts back in, at least for this crucial moment, he couldn't help but wonder if her entire body blushed such a pretty color. Unable to help it, Jason let his laughter rumble easily through his chest as he reached forward and pressed a surprisingly chaste kiss to her forehead. "Elizabeth, you'd be surprised at just how many times you've turned me on over the past few months. Frankly, I've lost count."
Her eyes widened in blatant shock. "What?"
"Sure," he answered quickly. "Sweetheart, every little thing you do is just so…I'll let you in on a secret, Elizabeth." Confusion had her furrowing her slender brows. "When a guy is walking down the hall holding his books in front of his crotch, there's a damn good reason for it."
It took her a minute to figure out what he meant by that and when she did, Elizabeth blushed even brighter. "Oh."
Jason smiled at her, smoothing her riot of chocolate waves with his hands, letting his fingers revel in the feeling of chestnut silk, and leaned up to press another kiss to her forehead. "You're not a tease, and I'm sorry I scared you."
She was nibbling her lip when he spoke, and Elizabeth let her hand wander over and twine with his. "Well, I guess I should have explained it better. You didn't scare me, Jason. Not really, anyway. It was more the situation." With a heavy sigh, she settled back down on to his hard chest and rubbed the material of his PC High t-shirt absently between her index and thumb. "It was just that when I felt…when I felt – that – I just froze."
Jason rubbed a strand of espresso-colored hair thoughtfully between his fingers as she continued. "I couldn't move, I couldn't talk, and I couldn't think of anything except that I had to get out of there because I knew what was happening and I…I wasn't sure I was ready. Jason, I – I'm not exactly…experienced and I didn't think I was ready to find out about…to find out that night."
When Jason didn't say anything, Elizabeth lifted her head to meet his gaze for the first time since the mortifying conversation had started. "Jason, I'm a…virgin."
He sensed the embarrassment in her voice and shifted on the couch, bringing his face close enough to lightly brush his lips over hers in a sweet gesture of reassurance. "I know, sweetheart."
Elizabeth frowned. "You do? How do you know?"
Jason shrugged. "Well, since I heard that you never really had a boyfriend before, I kinda figured."
"Oh, my God," Elizabeth groaned, burying her face in her hands. "You figured it out? That easily? You knew? Does everyone know? Oh, what am I saying – of course they do. Oh, my God, this is so freaking mortifying..."
"Hey." Jason ruffled her tousled tresses with his hand. "Hey, look at me. Elizabeth, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin. Nothing at all. Guys say lots of sh!t about not wanting to be with virgins because they have no experience, but that's a load of bull. There is something really special about a girl that knows enough to wait and doesn't just give it away to some random football player after a home game."
Elizabeth blushed brighter, if that was at all possible. "I can't believe we are having this conversation."
"Why?" Jason grinned, pulling her back up to look at him again. "Because you didn't want to think about it? You didn't want me to think about it?"
"Not especially, no," Elizabeth answered with a touch of horror in her voice.
The corner of Jason's mouth curved up into one of those sexy little smirks Elizabeth had come to love so much. "Elizabeth, do you know how many times I've thought about it? Do you know how many times I've thought about being with you?" Her wide doe eyes told him that she didn't. "Elizabeth, I want to be with you, when the time is right. I want it to be special for you and me both. And I certainly don't want it to happen in my basement while I'm a drunk mess. Elizabeth, quit hiding and look at me." She peeked up at him hesitantly and the honesty in his intense eyes helped break up some of her embarrassment. "If we do make love, it's going to be something that we both remember. Like I said, it's going to be special because you don't deserve anything less."
His words, honest and sincere, comforted her and Elizabeth soon sank down against his chest once more, content to listen to his heart beat under her ear. Jason's right hand linked with hers, the fingers twining sensuously, and his left found its place at the small of her back where he rubbed large, lazy circles against the fabric of her t-shirt. Elizabeth's soft sigh was happy and relaxed, but a frown was worrying Jason's handsome features.
"Elizabeth?"
"Hm?"
He shifted on the couch. "You know that I love you, right?"
Her fingers stopped moving with his hand and for a minute Jason thought he had gone too far. As always, he quickly set to work trying to run damage control, but then realized that he couldn't come up with anything. There was nothing that could possibly lessen the impact or meaning of his words. He had put them out there and although he meant it, part of him wondered why the room was suddenly so damn quiet.
But just then, Elizabeth's hand fell on his chest and she pushed herself up. A sweep of chestnut locks fell in her face, partially shielding her twinkling sapphire orbs from his view. The hair tickled his cheek when she pulled herself up until they were eye to eye, lying together on the couch, and Elizabeth lowered her lips to his for a slow, tender kiss that set every single nerve in Jason's body on fire.
The most he would allow himself to do was lift one hand to cup the back of her neck, but when Elizabeth's tongue traced his bottom lip, Jason lost control for a moment and tugged her body down, grunting softly when she crashed down on top of him. Elizabeth's nose bumped into his when she pulled back, and the brunette was pleased to see that Jason's eyes were dark and smoldering, coal-black pupils eclipsing the icy blue irises.
"I know you love me," she whispered. "And I love you, too."
That was all it took for Jason's heart to skip two beats, and the tall blonde pulled her down once more for a searing kiss. He still couldn't believe it, any of it – she was in his arms, kissing him, stroking his hair, scoring his lip with her teeth, when three hours ago the two of them weren't even on speaking terms. Jason's heart raced under Elizabeth's small hand as a wave of thankfulness washed over him. He was so incredibly thankful that he had worked up the courage to call her; he was thankful that Mr. Hardy had paved the way for him with some encouraging words of perseverance; but most of all, he was thankful that Elizabeth was the compassionate, understanding person she was. While it was true that he didn't kill anyone here, it was also true that he had hurt her. And she had been more than considerate and more than terrific in her decision to take him back.
They cuddled on the couch for what seemed like hours. Jason couldn't keep his hands off of her – he stroked her hair, caressed her cheek, smoothed his hand up and down her back. She was never close enough for his liking and kept wiggling in his arms when he showered her with kisses. The sound of her laughter was music to Jason's ears – after a week of silence, it amazed him how much he had missed everything about her, especially that cute little laugh. Her eyes lit up when she laughed or smiled, and something inside Jason swelled with pride at the thought that he was the one putting that look of pure happiness on her face. That was something he definitely wanted to continue doing, and because of her determination not to give up on him, Jason would have his chance.
Her lashes fluttered against his cheek, and Jason opened his eyes to see if she had opened hers. She had, and was gazing back at him so serenely and peacefully that Jason wondered for the hundredth time that night if his mind was playing tricks on him, if this was actually real.
"Elizabeth?"
"Mm?"
His lips brushed sweetly against hers, a whisper of a caress. "I'm really forgiven?"
"Mm-hmm." She peeked out at him when he pressed his forehead to hers, and it was only when a long moment passed without him saying anything that Elizabeth's brows furrowed. "Hey."
Jason's eyes flew open when she jabbed a finger at his chest. "What?"
"A little groveling wouldn't hurt, you know."
It took him a minute to understand what she meant, but when he did, Jason ducked his head. "Oh, yeah. Right." Elizabeth settled comfortably against his chest as he slowly started with the apologies again, tossing in some nice stuff about how he'd never do anything that dumb again and that nothing was worth losing her, and when Elizabeth felt bad for letting him wax on for so long, she covered his mouth with her hand and whispered that she knew it was hard for him to never be able to run again, but that everything would be okay.
"You'll get through this, Jason," was her firm answer. "I know you will. You're going to be just fine." And for the first time since that day at the hospital, Jason believed her.
"I've just been doing it for so long," he sighed, tracing a soft circle on her shoulder with his fingertips. "It's what I'm really good at – nothing else even comes close. Plus, I had everything figured out. I was going to be on the track team at Boston; I even met with the coach and the other runners and everything. It was set, you know?"
"Things can change in an instant, Jason," Elizabeth reminded him quietly. "Plans are good – I've always believed that. But sometimes, they're no good. Sometimes it's all about rolling with the punches and doing the best you can. And trust me, Jason, you're going to find something else that you love to do."
"I guess."
"I know."
"You always know, don't you?"
Her smile was small and sincere. "I know you. And that's all I need to know to see that you're…you're not going to be stopped, Jason. Remember what you told me when I found out about Stanford? You told me something that your grandmother told you – whenever a door closes, a window opens. I believed you then, so you have to believe me now. You're not going to have any trouble rising from this, Jason."
"But I've always been The Track Star," he pointed out sadly. "I mean, that's what everyone knew me as. Even my parents – all their friends practically know me only by that – Jason the Track Star. And now I'm not."
"But that doesn't mean you're not still you," she reminded him. "And that doesn't mean you've exhausted all your talents and skills. I will bet you my blue hemp necklace that you will find something else that you love just as much as running and you will be great at it. How about that?"
"I see your bet and…raise you my bike," he smirked.
"Oh, no, Morgan," she disagreed, shaking her head with a grin. "The bike's sacred. No one's touching that thing."
"And no one's ever ridden on it but you," he whispered back. "Did I ever tell you that?"
His words washed over her like a warm, fragrant summer breeze. "Really? I'm the first? Your first passenger on that thing?"
"My first, my last, my always," Jason whispered against her lips. "No one could ever get the bike like you do. You're the only one that wouldn't be afraid of it, the only one that would scream off the back and the only one that would ever see the wind as we blew past it. You're the only person I ever want on that bike with me."
"You know, that almost makes up for the lousy job you did groveling," Elizabeth smirked. Her smirk soon turned into a squeal when Jason flipped her over on her back on the couch and pinned her down.
"What do you mean?" he demanded playfully. "Woman, I groveled like a goddamn dog."
"I've heard better," Elizabeth snipped, her eyes dancing with mirth.
Jason's baby blues narrowed dangerously. "Strong words. Strong words from a strong woman."
"Strong words to a strong man," Elizabeth corrected, looping her arms around his neck and taking a minute to spear her fingers through his silky hair. "Remember that, Jason – you told me how strong you think I am. Remember that I think the same way about you. And from now on, Morgan, talk to me before you jump off the ledge – because I just may be able to talk you off of it."
"Got it," he nodded. "Anything else?"
"More groveling would be nice."
"Aha. Anything else?"
"Chocolate. Lots of chocolate."
"Done."
"And the next time we go riding, you let me steer, at least."
"OK, see, now you're just being greedy…"
