In Your Eyes

Draco's stomach turned as he walked into the squalid apartment building. The stench of piss was so strong that he could barely keep down his breakfast. How had it come to this? Why did Harry choose this life over the wizarding world? Standing in what served as the lobby, he saw a drunk passed out on an old car seat serving as a couch and an older woman with tattoos smoking a cigarette in front of a TV. She glanced up at him briefly. "Whoever ya lookin for I ain't seem em."

"But you don't even know who I'm looking for or why," he said exasperated.

"Don't care none either cause I ain't seen em."

He pulled a fifty out of his pocket and held it up. "I'm looking for Harry…..I'm looking for James Black."

She snatched the bill and grinned at him bearing rotting teeth. "Jim boy! Well if he ain't in room 12 than he's at work. Either way, I ain't seen em."

His heart was beating out of control as he took the stairs with trembling steps. What would Harry think of him? Was this a bad idea? What if he took one look at Draco's scars and turned away? No, Harry had already seen him on the battlefield. He's hand felt numb as he raised it to knock.

"God damn it! Fucking hell, Beth! I told you I'd bloody well pay you when I get my check now go fuck off!" A voice raged from behind. Unable to speak, Draco simply knocked again. "Stupid fucking bitch!"

The door flew open and for the first time in three years Draco Malfoy was staring at the man he loved. Everything about him was different except for the scar and the glasses. His hair was greasy and unwashed, his eyes were no longer vibrant and lively, his skin was deathly pale. but the most disturbing thing about him was his weight. He was so thin that his face now bore deep hollows. An almost skeletal body was covered with a dingy sweatshirt and jeans, and his right hand was buried in the front pocket.

Pain flashed in those green eyes, but not surprise as he stared back at Draco. It seemed that he had already seen the scars. It took him a moment to speak, but when he did his voice was weak. "Draco, what are you doing here?"

Emotion choked him, but Draco did manage to find his voice. "I came to thank you for the roses. May I come in?"

Harry nodded and stepped aside letting Draco into the tiny room. The bathroom in Draco's apartment was twice the size of Harry's room. The walls bore the remnants of cracking paint, and the floor was covered in dirty clothes. The only furniture in the room was a bed and a chair with TV sitting on it. Harry followed Draco's gaze. "It's not much, but it's home. Maybe you should leave."

"Harry, please just tell me why? Why didn't you let me know that you were alive? Why did you leave me?" he begged.

Harry turned away and said nothing for a long moment. "Did you think I could come back after it all, Draco? That I could pretend that it wasn't my fault? When I woke up after killing him, I knew in my heart that there was no way I could look at you. I was responsible for everything. Ron, Ginny, Sirius, Albus, Remus, Charlie, Tonks, Seamus, and Professor McGonallgal are all dead because of me. I have their blood on my hands and no matter what I do I can't get rid of it. And you….I'm the reason you have those scars. I should never have sent those roses. I knew it was stupid when I did it, and I'm sorry."

"No, Harry it wasn't your fault at all. Lucius did this to me. Voldemort was a very evil man and nothing that he or Lucius did was your fault. You saved so many lives by defeating him. No one blames you," Draco told Harry. He wanted to look into his eyes and make sure that he believed him. Grasping Harry's right arm, he pulled him closer to him.

But Draco noticed something horrible when his right arm slid out of the pocket. Harry's arm was limp and the skin covering it was a puckered mass of scar tissue. "He took my wand," Harry said simply.

Still holding his crippled arm, Draco's gray eyes met emerald green once more. "My God, Harry, you've suffered so much."

"I don't need your damned pity, Malfoy!" he raged as he slid the damaged limb away. "Why did you come here? Damn, you why couldn't you just have left me alone?"

"Because I love you, Harry. Living without you has been hell, but looking at you now makes me wonder if I even know what that means. Please Harry, just come with me and we can work things out."

"Do you think that will make anything better? You're a bloody moron if you do. You don't know anything about me anymore, Draco. Harry Potter is dead! He died and I'm just what's left. I sent you those roses because it was my way of telling you goodbye. The part of me that loved you is gone, and no matter what happens it's going to stay that way." He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. "You should go. This neighborhood isn't safe after dark."

"Harry.." Draco pleaded.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! Just go! Get out of here." Harry was trembling as he slumped against the wall.

"Fine, I'll go," Draco agreed summoning the Malfoy stubbornness. His back was ramrod straight and he stared directly in Harry's eyes. "But I'll be back. James Black or Harry Potter, I love you and I'm not giving up on you. That's a promise, love, and I always keep to my word."

He surprised himself by keeping his composure the whole way back to his apartment where he dissolved into a shuddering mass on floor.