I LOVE YOU ALL! Thanks for your wonderful reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Smaller than the last one but much better…ish…Well I'll let you see or read for yourself, please review!

DaarklilWanderer

He walked back to his mustang and sat in the car remembering all there moments together and wondering if he was ever going to forget them. Then after this experience would he ever be able to even look at another girl? All these thought kept running through his head as he started driving back to his house, is wasn't like he could follow her.

While Kenshin drove back to his house alone and confused, Kikari was in the Taxi having an internal battle with herself. 'Did I do the right thing by just leaving him there? I did give him my name…was that a big mistake on my part? He could track me down at school, I mean how many Kikari's are there at school…but if somehow he put his name somewhere in it then…almost half the girls in the school would be named Kikari…liar's, but Kenshin's not stupid he'll think up someway to find me and when he does he'll find me as that 'bitch' everyone try's not to know.'

As the Taxi stopped she paid the Taxi man and stepped out of the car growling to herself from her thoughts. 'Now I have to go and put up with the, 'your not better than me' speech from her mother, and her almost everyday beating from her father.' Before she even had a chance to shut the door she heard her mother's voice ringing through the house and even shaking the ground. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT DEMON CHILD DOING? SHE NEEDS TO GET HER ASS BACK HERE!"

"I'M HERE DAMMIT!" Kikari slammed the door shut, when she smelt the dirty smell of alcohol, it was so bad she felt it was even getting into her clothing 'oh…that's going to come out soooo easily…' Kikari sarcastically said in her thoughts. As she started walking through the kitchen her feet started to feel wet and she started hearing sounds like she was walking in water…

She looked down…

And saw Alcohol covering the kitchen floor…

Kikari mumbled curse words under her breath while she picked up her dirty and one-hundredth time used rag, got on her knees and started wiping the floor off. It stank in the house, she cover her nose with what was left of her shirt that 'wasn't' alcohol.

"Well, well, well lookly here the fire breather is back, what have we been going?" Her mother asked while leaning on the doorframe. She also had a bottle of alcohol in her hand shaking it around like she had nothing better to do, she was smirking too as Kikari glared at her.

"I was just with my 'friend'" Kikari hissed turning back to washing the alcohol, which started to stink into the floor. Kikari started to feel a bad feeling like her hair was on the end she thought to herself 'since when does my mother ask what I've been doing?'

"Oh really? Going to school tomorrow? It a Monday you know." Her mother's smirk widened.

"I was planning to." Kikari scrubbed the floor harder thanks to her mother's weird questions and that weird bad feeling getting stronger, making her feel like little shock waves crawling under her skin.

"Whatever, don't bother me tonight I'm going to be busy down here." Her mother said as she looked at her waist watch "It's about time so…GET YOUR ASS UP THERE NOW!" Her mother smirked victoriously for the one-hundredth time.

"Make me." Kikari whispered shaking from her anger, she NEVER talked back to her mother, but it was like she couldn't help herself something boiled up inside of her and she couldn't keep it down.

"What did you say?" her mother's lips formed a perfect line from her rising fury…oh yea…she was mad…and drunk…something you did not want her to be at the same time.

'You have such perfect timing Kikari!' her inside voice said in her thoughts. Kikari growled and stood up facing her mother face to face "you heard me! Make me!" she hissed 'DAMMIT SHUT UP!' Her inside voice yelled at her again, but it was like it didn't even live at the moment like she was herself now. And the real her wasn't going to back down anytime soon.

"WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Her father yelled walking through the door, looking like he just lost everything he owned …but that's right, he ALWAYS looked like that.

"Nice to see you too father" Kikari spat the last word out like it was venom to her tongue 'Well since you're not listening you made things worse! Great job Kikari great job' her inside voice scolded her again.

"What's with the sassy mouth? Do I need to teach you a lesson?" Her father snapped cracking his knuckles with both hands.

"What Bullshit" Kikari glared at both of them "you two have done nothing, NOTHING to help or teach me shit. You two have gone off going your own game cheating on each other, losing money I made and even getting drunk just to hit me. You two treat me like a fucking slave than a you're only living, breathing, your blood is going through my veins daughter or child. Don't you feel any regret for what you have done to me? Even a little?" 'I'm going to after this…' she inside voice said in monotone "Don't you even bleed if a person cuts you? It's kind of obvious that you don't bleed! In fact you don't even care. Do you know how it feels to walk every day and see a family together hugging, kissing, playing, and walking, together? Do you know how it feels? And if you don't…WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Kikari yelled at the top of her lungs, she didn't care that her neighbors heard it, she didn't even care if the whole fucking screwed up world heard it, as long as her mother and father did. Tears began to from at the sides of her eyes. "Why? Why did you even let me be born if you knew that you were going to do this to me, and even talk about how I was going to grow up to be? Did you think I would like to be some 'sex toy' for a dirty old man or any other male at all? Did you want me to be born just so you could treat me like shit being cursed by you, hit by you, laughed at by you even when I didn't do a damn thing wrong? All this…this hell and shit is on your hands, you can't get rid of it because you knew what you where doing at the time. You knew the responsibility of being a parent was, and you knew the sacrifice. You decided to make your own rules and allow me to be beaten, cursed and put down by you and don't even think for once it was because of the alcohol, that was your choice, you could have said no, I could have been the kid that had parents that I could cry on there shoulder or laugh with. Do you even know how that feels?" Kikari wiped her steaming tears away with the back of her hand "and to think…I'm crying because you don't understand me, because I feel sorry that you didn't know or care. I'm crying for you and it makes me sick." Kikari continued to wipe the sides of her eyes. She was at a emotional overload, and her inner voice disappeared "Cowards" she hissed before she ran to her room pushing them from her path, she didn't want to hear what they had to say, she didn't want to be beaten for feeling the way she did. She was proud of herself and she didn't want them to ruin the moment.

Slam

As Kikari slammed the door she leaned her back against it and slid down it until she was sitting against it. She sighed there was nothing she could think or say to them that would make her mind more clear than it was now, she had finally said it…what she felt what she kept in that bottle inside of her, she knew it would only last for so long. It was horrible how the words came out of her mouth as pure and as clear as crystal.

"NO!" Her mother's voice screamed afraid before she heard…

BAM

Silence…

BAM

Silence…

"MOM? DAD?" Kikari asked…it was a gun shot, two, Kikari slammed her door open and ran back to the kitchen to find…

Her parents were lying…dead on the floor…

And her father holding the gun that took their lives…

She knew in a heartbeat her father killed her mother and than himself…

"Mom? MOM! Speak to me!" Kikari cried kneeling over her mother's dieing body while rocking her own back and forth for comfort. "Please" Kikari begged

"I'm sorry honey…I do love you, and it took me until now to get it through my thick skull, you were right…" her mother smiled at her for the first time in ages "I was scared…scared of you being better than me. So I put you down, hurting you, killing you inside, and then even abused you…it was all lies. I did it all to make sure you weren't better than me" tears started to form in her eyes "I was such a horrible parent…it amazing how I can cry while I'm dieing isn't it?"

Kikari stiffened "Its not amazing! It horrible! I don't want you to die! Maybe there's still time to call the hospital." Kikari looked around for the phone, she never used it much or at all so she didn't know where it was.

"You're so strong Kikari, you still care about me even after I-" she mother was cut off

"Shhhhh…don't waste your energy, no matter what happens your still always and forever going to be my mother, just as I'm always going to be your daughter." She smiled warmly making her mother smile weakly.

"I love you." Her mother whispered before she closed her eyes.

"Mom? MOM!" Kikari cried before she heard her father on the other side of the room spitting up blood. "DAD!" Kikari cried as she ran over to her father the murderer, and the bastard is was suppose to hate. "Don't you die too!" she begged him holding his cold hand in her two warm one's.

"I will die." Her dad said lovingly.

"Why did you kill yourself and mom?" Kikari glared crying with the fresh tears falling from her small face.

"To protect you…" Her father looked away ashamed

"From what?" Kikari asked trying to find out what her father was holding back.

"From us holding you back, you couldn't get anywhere with us." Her father whispered "we are failures trying to fool time into thinking we where good parents and everyday we said we were going to treat you better, but as you can see…we failed."

"You weren't holding me back and you didn't fail either!"

"Don't lie Kikari we know, you told us, but for no reason you go and blame yourself for this do you understand?" her father turned back to her staring her in the eye. "This is our decision"

"I…I won't, I promise…but…do you and mom believe in the lord?" Kikari asked smiling weakly

"Believe it not we do…even though we cross the lines more than we should…" her father smiled weakly back at her. "And again I'm sorry, I love you" her father finally closed his eyes and passed away.

"I love you both too." Kikari whispered as she reached for the phone…

"Hello police? My parents are dead…"

The next morning

"KIKARI DAMMIT! ITS NOT YOUR DAMN FAULT!" Rena wined looking Kikari in the eyes. Kikari just turned her head and closed her eyes, feeling ashamed.

"I know, but every time I think about it I think of me opening my fucking mouth-"

"Shut up Kikari, that's bullshit, its called fate believe in it, god needed them for some reason and maybe your father knew that. So stop blaming yourself and come on!" Mya smiled reassuringly at her broken hearted friend.

"Ok Mya…you're the smart one!" Kikari joked

"And don't you forget it!" Mya joked back.

"You people are just to slow…" Rena laughed walking out the door with them to the burial site.

Kikari couldn't help, but wonder would was she when she fought her parents like that? Could it have been the true Kikari coming out from her shell? Could she have known it was going to happen because of the way she felt? These questions buzzed through her mind as she walked with her friends.

Burial site

"May god be with them…" The preacher rambled on, somehow on short notice Rena got a preacher to come, just because Kikari said that she knew her parents were christens. The more Kikari looked around the more she actually got angry, all there 'friends' were the one's that they used to cheat on each other and her father's drunk buddies.

Then suddenly as the preacher finished speaking rain started to fall slowly and softly, reflecting Kikari mood. She wasn't sad that her parent where dead, no she was happy, but she still missed them…in a weird way. Kikari still came back to the people that were there at the site, they shouldn't be there, and they didn't care. Everyone soon left besides her and her friends.

Kikari was in a trance looking at them, it would be the last time she would ever see her parents, the one's that hit her, slave driven, not caring, never loved her until the last minute before they died parents, but the fact in the end that they did love her was still a shock to her, she felt warm and comforted inside, but even then she had mixed feeling between hated and love for them. This made her think that made her worry, and that made her friends worry, that then reflected back on her making her worry more.

Once again Kikari leaned her head up to the sky and let the little cold drops of waterfall into her mouth and on her face, cooling all the anger she ever had. She felt free, something she never felt, and she both loved and hated it. Then she realize she was hiding something from herself she wasn't thinking as deep as she could like she was scared of herself to know that truth.

"Come on and stop catching fly's in your mouth! Let's go!" Mya urged her to hurry along; she didn't like to get her clothes wet.

"Sure." Kikari said in a monotone voice, she really didn't care where they took her as long as she could escape her thoughts for a while.

"Its so hard…" Kikari said calmly staring out the rain-fogged window as she stepped into Rena's jeep. "Its just so hard…" Kikari repeated herself starting to cry again.

"What's hard?" Rena asked curious of why Kikari was crying again.

"I…Its so hard to love them…when I can't think of a reason to love them. I want to but…"

"Mya laughed, "You don't need a reason Kikari they're your parents, it was almost like they died to help you, not to make you feel like this and live life worse!"

Kikari sighed and stopped crying "That's what I didn't want to believe was true. Deep down I knew…I wanted to keep myself from finding it, but you can't, its like I want to love them, but then I what to hate them too!"

"Why can't you do both?" Rena asked curious

"I do…but then…" she thought back to her memoirs of her parents "then I discover I love them." Kikari smiled

Mya smiled back at her "and that's all that matter Kikari"

Kikari thought to herself 'it is funny how friend could make a bad situation into something understandable and make it crystal clear in both your mind and you heart, but of course Rena and Mya only had to tell me "its ok" a hundred times before I would even go, but even then they are here from me…always.' "Thanks guys." Kikari hugged Mya and then Rena while she was driving.

"KIKARI! I CAN'T DRIVE!" Rena warned pretending she couldn't control the wheel while Mya was in the back saying, "I love danger!"

Kikari finally released her after a few laughs to end up laughing harder. Instead of just laughing, she cried too, but they were tears of joy (and to much laughing)

She was happy…and that's all that mattered

"Bye Kikari!" Mya Rena yelled and waved at Kikari dropping Kikari off at her house.

"Bye guys!" Kikari waved and yelled back while closing the door. She looked around at her empty house. She was alone of course, like she always dreamed she could be, but now when she had it…she did want it. 'I know that they won't be coming home tonight from a night of cheating and drinking' Kikari leaned against the wall near her door. 'No, they're happy now and after this last week of school I'll sell the house and move away. Then I'll become someone…I will never forget the memories burned into my head from there actions, instead use them as knowledge.' She was going to become this 'new' Kikari she was at the dance and who she is when she was with Kenshin, herself…she was very proud of herself, she had come so far in her life. 'I couldn't have without my friends' Kikari smiled to herself as she looked over at the clock 'better get some sleep since I didn't last night. I don't want to miss Tuesday of my last week of high school, and then I still have I speech to do.' Kikai scolded herself 'shit…my speech' Kikari remembered again 'Well I'll talk to Ms. Everton later…right now…sleep' Kikari yawn and plopped herself onto to her bed instantly falling asleep.

The Next Morning

Beep, Beep, Beep

WAM

"Dammit!" Kikari yelled jumping out of bed. She took her usual morning bath, got dressed and headed to school with her usual baggie pants and shirt, and for some really, really odd reason she didn't feel right in them. As she got off the bus Rena and Mya were there waiting for her, when they saw her they pulled her aside and into the bathroom showing her a bag with clothes in them.

"Me and Rena went to the mall yesterday and bought you some clothes so in case Kenshin sees you!" Mya said happily, oh-so proud of herself.

"And if you don't put them on…we will make Kenshin come to you…" Rena glared intent on watching her friend turn into her 'masterpiece'. They were so proud that they made her beautiful for the dance, it became addicting to them.

"Whatever." Kikari mumbled and she underdressed and dressed herself again which by the way she didn't want to do…she also didn't want to make Rena or Mya sad and tell them about the 'date'.

When she finished and Rena put on the last touches Kikari looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a short black skirt with a dark red no sleeved shirt. They gave her high heels instead of boots to show off her legs better…then she looked at her face. "RENA!" Kikari growled.

"What? It matches!" Rena smiled innocently at her while she put up her things.

"I have to go see Ms. Everton about the whole 'speech' thing see you later!" Kikari flicked her hand back in saying goodbye.

When she stepped into the hall though people stared at her, so she named the people 'Look-at-her-people' whatever…they would think she was a new student anyway. As she thought about what people she wanted to kill right then for looking at her 'that' way she heard from the speaker "Kikari Wanderer please report to the office NOW!"

"Mother fucker…" Kikari cursed as she continued walking to the office. 'I was going there anyway…' pretty soon her feet started to wobble and shake because of her feet started to decide they wanted to hurt and send little messages to her brain telling her that they hurt by making her feel it….sure she didn't have to go that far in dept, but…she didn't care. When she opened the door she thought she would just see Ms. Everton, but no…that would make her life to easy…it was…

Kenshin

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