Group Therapy - You know they need it!
ah, another FMA fic. Script-style! XD inspired by an F4 therapy fic i read. flippin funny. Here we go!
Therapist: Welcome, Ed, Al, Winry, Roy, Hughes, Riza, and Havoc!
Everyone else: hiya!
Therapist: so, Ed, let's start with you. I understand you have some temper issues, especially concerning your height. Is this true?
Ed: WHATIDONOTHAVETEMPERISSUES! (what i do not have temper issues) -veinpop-
Roy: Shut up, little fullmetal. No one cares.
Ed: WHOAREYOUCALLINGSOSHORTHECANSITONTHECURBANDLETHISFEETDANGLE! (who are you calling so short he can sit on the curb and let his feet dangle)
Therapist: I see. And Mr… Mustang, is it? I see you like to provoke him.
Roy: Maybe a little. HE THINKS HES BETTER THAN MEEEE!
Ed: I DON'T THINK THAT!
Therapist: see?
Ed: I know that.
Roy: -snap-
Ed: -RRRRRUUUNS!-
Therapist: anyway, mustang, I understand you have other issues?
Roy: I have no other issues…
Riza: he needs to keep his mind out of the gutter, thats what…
Therapist: ah… hm… well…
Roy: I DO NOT!
Riza: YOU WANT TO GET PROMOTED JUST TO MAKE THE WOMEN LOOK LIKE SLUTS!
Therapist: Look… like… sluts?
Roy: Ah, well um…
Hughes: ((a/n: this takes place pretending that he never died. That made me wanna hurt the writers XD)) Yeah. He wants to be promoted, just so –
Havoc: And I quote: --
Riza: "all female officers will be required to wear--"
Hughes, Havoc, Riza: "TINY MINISKIRTS!"
Roy: well, I mean, -sinks further into seat-
Therapist: is this true?
Roy: -sinks further in his seat- y--yeaa… I guess…
Riza: what was that, sir?
Roy: yes… its true. -sigh-
Therapist: I see, I see… -writes stuff down- well, lets move along… Ms… Hawkeye is it? why are you here?
Riza: someone needs to help keep the colonel in line.
Therapist: I dont believe that's it. I think its more. Nobody's perfect, riza, everyone has an issue.
Riza: Sometimes I feel… lonely… there aren't really any special guys in my life, y'know?
Therapist: so, you just haven't met the right one, or… what?
Riza: Well partly that, but… I mean, I kinda have, but… HES AN IN IMMATURE WOMANIZING PERVERT!
Roy: I AM NOT!
Riza: Who said I was talking to you?
Roy: Uh… I love you?
Riza: 0.0 … what?
Roy: you heard me…
Riza: Roy, can I talk to you for a second? -grabs roy by the arm and leaves-
Roy: Huh? What the--
Hughes: - I thought it was about time he get himself a good wife.
Therapist: And how do you know Mr. Mustang?
Hughes: We've been friends for a long time now.
Therapist: I see… and you have some obsessive issues?
Hughes: What do you mean?
Therapist: Don't worry about it. It's typical for parents to be a little… over-excited about their children, when theyre so proud of them.
Hughes: OHYOUMEANMYDEARESTELICIA? (oh you mean my dearest elicia)
Havoc, Al, Winry: uh-oh…
Hughes: -holds up 10 photos at once- LOOK! ISNT SHE THE CUTEST! YOU SHOULD KEEP A PICTURE OF HER IN YOUR OFFICE ONE LOOK AND ALL STRESS FLIES AWAY! SHES 3 NOW! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? THEY GROW UP SO FAST! IS SHE NOT THE MOST ADORABLE THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN! ISNT SHE? HM? HM?
Therapist, Al, Winry, Havoc: -nervously nod-
Therapist: oooookay then… we'll move on. Um, winry, you have some control issues I see?
Winry: no, not really. What do you mean?
Ed: -falls out of sky- ((a/n: this is funny if you read my last fanfiction, interview with roy.)) YES YOU DO! WHY ELSE DO YOU BULLY ME AROUND?
Therapist: You bully him around?
Winry: NO I DON'T! -waves wrench at ed- right, little Edo-kun?
Ed: WHOAREYOUCALLINGLITTLE! (who are you calling little)
Winry: See, he has issues, not me!
Ed: -to winry- you have more!
Winry: NO I DON'T! YOU DO!
Ed: no you do!
Winry: NO YOU DO!
Ed: NO YOU DO!
Winry: NO YOU DO!
Ed: NO YOU DO!
Winry: NO YOU DO!
Ed: NO YOU DO!
Winry: NO YOU DO!
Ed: NO YOU DO!
Winry: NO YOU DO!
Ed: NO YOU DO!
Winry: NO YOU DO!
Ed: NO YOU DO!
Therapist: ENOUGH!
Ed & winry: -silent-
Therapist: Now, I can see you are working out your differences, but you must do it CALMLY.
Ed & Winry: BUT--
Therapist: NO BUT'S! ((a/n: ed has a nice one! muahahaha))
Therapist: Now, your session is over. But I believe we had a good session today.
Havoc & Al: What about me?
Therapist: Blondie, get off the cigs. Metal-head… whats your problem?
Al: I'M STUCK LIKE THIS! ITS VERY DEPRESSING!
Therapist: Boo-hoo, have a tissue! w00t! THAT RHYMED! -jumps out the window-
Havoc & Al: -look at each other- that was weird.
