For You I Will

Morning wasn't coming fast enough. By the time the first rays of dawn were shining in New York, Draco was already feeling like a caged lion. Draco didn't sleep that night. He paced the floor of his bedroom until trying to find what it was that wasn't sitting right with him. In the bathroom, he pulled the bottle of Paxil from his medicine cabinet and dumped the contents down the toilet. He couldn't depend on the pills to fight his battles for him; Harry had shown him that much. But that wasn't entirely what was bothering him either. There was some nameless fear in him.

He made a quick call to Chantay and once again had a row with the sleepy fashion designer. "You don't care about the business," she spat.

"At the moment, you're right. Chantay, the man I love is in trouble right now, and I am not leaving him for anything. Do what you want with the show, I don't give a fuck if you cancel it, but this is more important. Don't you get it?" he asked. All of his frustration was building and he couldn't stop it. "I need him to live anything even resembling a real life. I can't depend on you or the business to make feel alive anymore. I'm sorry, but this is the way it has to be."

There was a pause on the other end, and for a moment he wasn't sure if she'd hung up on him. "I understand," she said finally. "Will you ever come back?"

"It all depends on Harry, but I don't think he'll want to go back home again. Chantay, I'll call you when things get settled."

After hanging up the phone, he felt somewhat relieved, but that wasn't what was bothering him either. He stared at the clock and wondered if they would let him in a little early to see Harry. There really wasn't any use sitting at home. But first, he needed to do something.

Opening an ornately carved box, he pulled out three things. His wand sent a familiar feeling down his spine as he grasped it. It had been so long since he touched, but it was the same as it had been three years ago. Second, he picked out a vile of potion that he had brewed years ago, and put it in his pocket with the wand. Lastly, he admired two golden bands that he had purchased just before the final battle. Beautiful script wound around them. "My soul lives and dies with you, my love."

Now he was ready, he thought. He came out of the building with a sense of purpose that he had not known in all of the time since that horrible day. The need to be with Harry was overwhelming.

Walking through the hospital halls, he felt a renewed hatred for the place. It almost made him long for the old hospital wing. He cracked a smile, well at least Hogwarts infirmary would feel like home to Harry while he was there. No one in the history of the school spent as much time there as Harry had. Draco distinctly remembered one time after a fall in Quidditch going into the hospital wing and being entranced by the black haired boy as he slept.

Draco stopped mid-step. They couldn't go back. The revelation hit him like a ton of bricks. Maybe it wasn't very wise to let others in on this. Maybe he should have waited a bit longer. But then he pictured Harry lying on the floor. No, he had to get help. Severus and Madam Pomfrey were the only two people he trusted enough to let in on this. He had made the right choice, he assured himself. But what would Harry think?

It was true that Snape and Harry had reached a sort of strained peace, thanks to Lupin, but did he truly trust the potions master? So much about Harry had changed in the time since the war. It was nearly impossible for Draco to gauge his reaction. There was only one way to really find out. He strode into Harry's room and found that he had interrupted something between Harry and a stiff looking woman.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said.

The woman slide wire rimmed frames up a bit. "You're Draco Michaels?"

He nodded. "And you are?"

"Myra Blair. I'm a social worker here at the hospital," she said barely looking at him. "James tells me that you will be with him when he leaves, is that correct?"

"Yes it is."

She bristled a bit and glanced at Harry. "I am against this, but it seems since you have promised to seek private treatment and Mr. Michaels will be with you, I will allow it. Someone will be along shortly to sign your release papers."

"Thank you," Harry said from the bed.

The miserable woman said nothing as she strode out of the room. "She was pleasant," Draco commented dryly.

Harry just shrugged. From what Draco could see, he was doing much better. The color had returned to his face and his eyes were more focused.

"Harry, I have something to tell you, and you may not like it."

The raven-haired man snorted. "I don't like a lot of things, but I don't have a fucking choice do I?"

Draco sighed. This was not going to be easy. "In most things, no."

Green eyes locked on him fiercely. "And in this?'

"What you want matters, Harry. But this is something you need."

"You're shipping me off to rehab then?" The words were bitter.

"Not exactly. I contacted Severus."

"You what? How could you do that? I don't want to go back there again, Draco! I won't. Whatever you and Snape are planning, you can just go straight to hell." Harry got out of the bed and picked the bag of his clothes up.

Draco stepped in front of him. "You need help, Harry. Can't you see that you're dying?"

"What if I'd rather die?"

"Doesn't anything matter to you?" Draco cried. He reached to touch Harry, but his hand was slapped away. "You matter to me. Do you remember what you told me that night we first made love?"

"I was a different person then."

"Yes," Draco agreed. "And so am I. Ask Hermione, she'll tell you about it. She's changed, too. Harry, the war was an awful thing, but we survived. If you don't remember, you swore to me that if we made it through that we'd spend our lives together. I'm holding you to that, because I still love you more than life."

Harry looked away. "Go find someone else."

"There is no one else," he said. Draco sighed. He had hoped it wouldn't come to this. Pulling out the vile, he opened it and took a drink. "If you choose to die so, do I."

"What the fuck did you drink?" Harry stared at the vile.

"The bonding potion that you wouldn't agree to take before Voldemort was killed," Draco told him calmly. Already he could feel it coursing through him. Very few people ever took this potion. It was the ultimate step in love, and often ended tragically. But Draco would do anything for Harry. "In about five minutes, give or take, I'll die if you don't take the rest of it."

"Fucking moron! Don't you know what will happen even if I do?" Harry was shaking.

"I do," the blonde said with a smile. "We share everything. Pain, joy, dreams, sorrow…everything."

"You have no idea what you have just done," Harry said as he drank the rest of the liquid. "I never wanted you to feel any of this."

Immediately, Draco started to feel ill. His energy diminished and he could feel a strange sort of anxiety build in his stomach. And anger. Anger and betrayal seeped into him. Then something wonderful happened. His love, their love was complete. Under it all, Harry loved him as much as he loved Harry.

Draco felt woozy as he leaned on the bed. He could see the change in Harry too. "Now, there is no turning back."

Harry touched the loose strands of blonde hair falling in front of his lover's face. "No, there isn't, but I'm afraid you'll regret this."

"Never. I only regret not doing it sooner."

He followed Harry's gaze to his crippled arm. "You would have had to have felt it. Lived what I had to."

"But we would have been together."

Collecting himself, Harry sat up and made room for Draco. "What exactly do you and Snape have for me?"

"Snape has a wizarding version of rapid detox for you. The bad news is that you will…or rather now we will have to be under medical supervision. The infirmary at Hogwarts will serve as a private clinic of sorts. He's arranging a way to keep everything under the strictest secrecy. No one will know that you are alive, save a bare handful."

He could feel Harry's leeriness of the situation. "Who knows?"

"Severus, of course. Madame Hooch—who is currently headmistress—Madam Pomfrey, Hermione, Bill Weasley, and Neville Longbottom."

"Why Bill and Neville?"

"Bill and Hermione are together, and he was the one who thought this up. Neville is Snape lover, and Severus refuses to lie to him."

Harry's eyes went wide. "Neville and Snape? How'd that happen? There has to be something cosmically wrong with this picture."

Draco laughed. "I haven't figured it out either. In fact, I haven't seen or heard from Neville since I woke up after the battle. I always did wonder what had happened to him."

"He was kidnapped and brainwashed into loving me," a dry voice said from behind. Severus Snape was dressed in muggle clothing and looking very ominous. "Potter," he said plainly. "Glad to see that you made it through."

A wry smile lit Harry's lips. "There was never any doubt that you were to mean to die."

The dark man nodded. "Now, if you lovers don't mind, I suggest we get going."