Jack arrived at the SGC late on Wednesday. He found a familiar but disturbing scene, Sam was unconscious in the infirmary with Daniel and Teal'c camped out beside her in uncomfortable chairs.
"What's up?" Jack walked straight to Sam and lifted her limp hand.
"Oh, thank goodness Jack. I've been trying to get in touch with you all day. Your assistant said you weren't reachable."
"I was with Thor. He dropped me off here. Sam and I'd planned this long weekend weeks ago and we'd a surprise in store for both of you. What happened?"
"She went crazy Jack. She opened a box we'd been working on two weeks ago and found some things inside that brought back the dreams she'd had while she was sick." Jack rubbed his thumb on the back of her hand. Sam didn't stir.
"She refused to accept it wasn't real. I tried to get her to let me send the stuff up to research but she'd lost her grip on reality. I'm sorry Jack." Jack found a chair and joined the vigil.
"Tell me more." Jack found Sam's hand again and tried to concentrate on what Daniel was saying.
"The box contained a kids drawing, a teacup, some kind of stuffed toy, a ring, a spoon, some letters, and a book. I've been working on translating the book but it's a new language and I haven't made it very far. Sam recognized the picture, ring, toy and teacup. I don't think she saw the other items before we had to…"
"I get it." Jack groused. The men waited three hours as Sam slowly roused from the effects of the sedative.
"Timor?" Sam's first word made Jack sick but he hid it.
"Hey, Sam. It's Jack." Sam blinked rapidly and tried to focus on his face.
"Please let me go back. I was happy. I want to see my children and grandchildren again." The pain and pleading in her voice got to Jack and he would have agreed to anything if only he could have made it happen. The doctor heard Sam's voice and came around the curtain. She injected more sedative into the tube coming from Sam's hand.
"It's late and I want her to sleep some more." The doctor's answer for her action was short and to the point. Jack was disappointed. He wanted to talk to her but she quickly succumbed to the drugs.
The next morning Sam woke slowly. Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c had rotated places by her side through the night but all three were there when she woke. They'd all hoped she would smile when she saw them but instead she greeted them with a frown. Sam remained silent for several minutes as the mist coating her brain cleared. The guys gave her time to adjust, mainly because none of them knew what to say.
"You're still here to tell me none of it was true and I should just forget it and get on with my life aren't you?" The question was really an accusation.
"Sort of." Daniel nodded.
"No." Jack scooted closer to the bed. "We're here to help you through whatever's happening. If it's real to you then we'll accept that." Sam's face softened. Daniel's brow crinkled in worry as he looked over at Jack. Teal'c cocked his head to the side.
"It feels very real." Sam clutched her hand to her chest. "I feel it in here like nothing I've ever felt before. It didn't even hurt this much to lose my mother." Sam's eyes misted up and Jack leaned forward to envelop her in hug.
"We'll get through this together. I promise. Believe me." Jack tightened his squeeze on her.
"I do." Jack grinned at her choice of words. He knew she wasn't thinking about the plans they'd made for this weekend but he hadn't been able to forget.
The men were all kicked out, after Sam picked at her breakfast, so the new psychiatrist could meet with her. He kept her for over two hours. Jack went to talk to General Landry and make a few phone calls. Daniel took the book back to his office and continued to work on a translation. Teal'c waited patiently.
Sam was calmly sitting in bed when the men were allowed to return. They'd had a brief meeting before coming back and the psychiatrist told them Sam was suffering from depression. He'd recommended medication and planned to have regular visits with her. Jack knew Sam must be thrilled with that turn in events. At least the doctor had agreed she could be released from the infirmary, although she had to stay on base for a couple days.
Sam was dressed and sitting on the edge of her bed when the doctor brought in her bag of personal items. Sam removed her dog tags from the small plastic bag and placed them around her neck and under her shirt. She took out her bracelet and affixed it around her wrist. She placed her earrings back in her ears. The last item out of the bag was the ring.
Sam held the ring between her left index finger and thumb. Daniel gasped when he saw it. Sam's eyes flashed up at him in warning. She slowly slipped the ring on her right middle finger. Jack looked from the ring to Daniel and back. He knew what he'd just witnessed had some significance but he didn't understand it yet.
"Where are the items from my box?" Sam's words were sure but quiet.
"Sam?" Daniel leaned forward and whispered his concern.
"Don't fight me Daniel. I need to see them." Daniel looked over at Jack for support.
"Then we'll go look at it together." Jack put his hand out towards Sam and helped her off the bed. Daniel's jaw went slack.
"But Jack…"
"Daniel, I said we'd do it together. It's all still in your office?" Daniel just nodded his head. Jack led Sam out of the infirmary and towards Daniel's office. Sam kept one hand lightly resting on his arm as they walked. She drew strength from him and his belief in her. Daniel and Teal'c followed behind them. Daniel muttered under his breath the whole way but Teal'c maintained his silence. Jack opened the door and turned on the light for Sam. She slowly stepped inside and scanned the room.
Sam headed straight for the box. She carefully removed each item and laid them out on the table. She ran her hands over the picture made by her grandson.
"This is me." Sam pointed as Jack leaned over her shoulder and looked at the drawing. He couldn't help but smile at the simplicity of the figures and trees. Jack wrapped an arm around Sam's waist as she lifted the teacup. She held it to her chest and dropped her head. She held back her tears.
"Tell me about the ring." Jack ran his hand down her arm and lifted her right hand.
"It's from my joining with Timor. It symbolizes the linking of our arms at the end of the ceremony. I wear it on my middle finger because it is the center of my hand just as our joining was the center of my life." Jack squeezed her fingers.
"It's beautiful." Jack whispered in her ear.
"Yes, it is." Sam placed her head on his shoulder. Daniel stepped forward.
"This was also in the box. I haven't been able to translate much yet but I'm still working on it." Daniel laid the book on the table. Sam turned from Jack and picked up the book. Her eyes grew wide at the title. "Sam? Can you read it?" Sam looked up at Daniel.
"Yes, it says Forget Not." Sam's fingers traveled over the raised symbols on the cover. She slowly opened the book. Jack found her a chair and let her sit. Jack fidgeted with a pencil while she read. Daniel pretended to translate a tablet he'd been working on for weeks. Teal'c just stood patiently. It only took Sam an hour to complete the short book. All three men looked at her when she closed the cover.
"They were real. Almost everything I remember was real, it just wasn't my life." Jack scooted closer and put his hand out to touch hers. Daniel leaned across the table in front of her. Teal'c stepped closer.
"Tell us." Sam looked at Jack when he spoke and nodded.
"According to this all the people I met were real, except for my children and grandchildren. The splinter I thought I got from the box was really an injection. This box was designed to inject the first female who touched it after it was set. It infected me with an organic nanite." At the mention of the word nanite Jack's head flew up and he reached out to grab Sam's arm.
"You have to get back to the infirmary now." She shook her head.
"The nanite is designed to decompose after the scenario is finished. The end of the fever signaled the nanites destruction." Jack visibly relaxed although it was obvious he was still worried.
"So why did they do this?" Daniel leaned further forward, almost falling off his stool.
"The Atonians were killed by a plague they brought back through the stargate. The government wisely chose to not let anyone go through the gate and risk contaminating other worlds. The plague quickly infected most of the population and those that survived found they had no ability to successfully reproduce."
"That sounds familiar." Daniel's tone was disturbing.
"That's what I thought but there's no mention of where they picked up this disease." Daniel nodded. "Timor was the lead scientist who worked on the box. He was also a healer. He never had children nor did he ever marry. The nanites were designed to pick a mate from several possibilities based on my brain chemistry. They then had to create a scenario that would lead to my living on Atona. Apparently there are several possible lives and the nanites have a lot freedom in how they design the scenario, to make it more convincing." Sam took a long deep breath.
"The nanites could only incorporate people had touched the vox into the scenario, except for my children and grandchildren. They were designed by extracting traits from my DNA and Timor's. I guess that's why only Daniel and Withers appeared to me. Wither's was on the team that recovered the box and Daniel had been working with it. All of the scientists as well as friends I knew on Atona were real people who'd touched the box before it was activated. All of this information, and more, was fed into my brain while I was sick. The nanites used all of this to create a scenario where I had to live on Atona and experience their life."
"So what's the point of all this?" Jack's tone was full of anger. Sam had been run through the ringer by these dead aliens and since they were dead he couldn't even make them pay.
"They wanted someone to remember them and the richness of their culture. They wanted to leave a piece of themselves behind. I'm supposed to carry on their memory." Sam caressed the book cover as she spoke.
"Seems like a damn insensitive way of going about it." Jack groused but kept his eyes focused on Sam's hand as she traced the raised symbols.
"I'd describe it as powerful. I'll never forget them and now I know much of their history as well as how to read their language."
"Ok, so now you remember. Now what?" Jack met Sam's eyes. She shrugged.
"I suppose I should write it down or something. Maybe I can teach it all to some of the linguists and archeologists." Sam rubbed her neck. "I know I'd like to keep these things." Sam looked over at Daniel.
"Why Sam? Now you have proof that none of it was real. You were a pawn in their game and they hurt you. You shouldn't want anything to do with them." Daniel pushed up from the table. The anger over what had been done to his friend was seething inside him.
"You are wrong, Daniel Jackson. The Atonians were desperate and their methods were not acceptable but they did what they felt must be done to survive in the record of time. Colonel Carter owes them the honor of recording their history." Sam nodded her thanks to Teal'c.
"Fine. Record it and put it on a shelf to be studied in the future but find a way to reclaim your life and don't let this drag you down any further." Daniel looked back at Sam as he spoke in a harsh voice. Daniel surprised Sam because she would've expected his sentiments from Jack.
"So you want me to just pack this stuff away and forget them, forget how I felt, forget what I was." Sam challenged Daniel.
"Absolutely. It wasn't you. They put false memories in your mind. They made you believe we'd abandoned you. They took away your home and family!" Daniel was panting with the effort of yelling.
"They gave me a family." Sam's words were a whisper but all three men heard her. "I still miss my children and grandchildren. Knowing it wasn't real hasn't changed that. I can't just put them on a shelf and forget them."
"You have to or…" Daniel was beginning to yell again. He was afraid Sam wasn't going to ever get over this.
"No you don't." Jack interrupted Daniel. All eyes turned to him.
"Jack?" Daniel stared at his friend in disbelief.
"Daniel's wrong. You can love these memories of an old life, embrace it for what it was and who you were while you were in it, and still build a new life. You can learn lessons and not repeat old mistakes. You can use it to improve your life." Jack stroked Sam's cheek. "I did it and you can too." Sam's eyes misted.
"You'd still take me, even though I'm all screwed up with memories of a husband and children that aren't real?" Jack stood and placed his hands on her hips.
"Absolutely." They locked eyes. Jack grinned as Sam fought back tears. "Can we tell them now?"
"You haven't already told them?" Jack shook his head.
"We agreed to do it together and after everything that's happened I wasn't sure you were still in agreement." Sam reached into her shirt and pulled out her dog tags. She pulled the chain over her head and opened the clasp. She pulled off one tag and then a ring. Neither Daniel nor Teal'c had seen the ring before. Sam had kept it carefully hidden behind her tags. Jack took the ring from Sam and lifted her left hand. He slowly slid the ring onto her ring finger.
"Samantha Carter, will you still be my wife?" Jack's eyes were locked with Sam's. Daniel and Teal'c stood completely still not uttering a word.
"Yes." She reached up and hugged him tight. He returned the embrace. Daniel began laughing and slapped Teal'c on the back. Teal'c also grinned. Jack let go of Sam and looked over at his friends.
"We actually got engaged almost a month ago but we decided to wait and break the news when we could tell you together. This was the first weekend I was able to come this way." Jack kept his arm around Sam's waist. Daniel was bouncing on his toes.
"This is great! A month! You've been engaged for a month and you kept it a secret!" Daniel's hands flapped as he wailed.
"I told you he'd yell." Sam laughed as Jack reminded her of his prediction a month ago. She pulled out of his embrace and gave Daniel and Teal'c hugs. She moved back towards Jack who instantly grasped her hand. He rubbed circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. Sam stiffened when his thumb got stuck on the ring from Timor. Jack felt her muscles clench.
"I mean it Sam. I want you to embrace these memories just as you told me you wanted me to be free to share my past with you. Neither of us needs to hide anything." Sam relaxed and gave jack a small smile. He squeezed her hand, letting her know they were on this road together and this time she wouldn't be abandoned.
Your reviews have been wonderful. My texts still haven't arrived but I have loads to do for work so this might be it until the end of the semester (unless I figure out how to end my other two partially posted stories). Thanks for hanging in and please let me know if this ending (which was the plan all along) met your demands. Only one of you mentioned ST:TNG and Picards trip down false memory lane, which did inspire this story. As was pointed out last season thereare no original thoughts left (at least that's true with me).
