Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of its characters.
Author's Note: Yeah, Harry said that Ginny looked like she understood - who said men knew everything that went on in a woman's head? Anyway, my take on her feelings as Harry pulls a Spiderman 2 scene at the end of Half-Blood Prince. Also, you know that I didn't write the parts taken from the scene between Harry and Ginny that were already in the book - though I may have tweaked/added some things in.
The man's words about Dumbledore did not do him justice - no one could express how much he had done for this school. Harry knew that most of all. Oddly though I felt like the world had come to a stop - never I had dreamed Dumbledore would be killed - I had stopped crying.
I hadn't cried since Harry told us all what happened - though I think some part of me knew when I saw Snape and Malfoy escaping. We didn't do anything! I tried not to blame myself...but we could have stopped him - we could have done so much more.
We could have.
I didn't even flinch when I saw flames shooting out of the white tomb that Dumbledore lay on, several people screamed - but the sound was dulling in my ears. Out of the smoke in the commotion I could have sworn I saw a flash of bright red - the color of Fawkes, the phoenix, shoot out into the sky in a flash. I remembered the creature from so long ago...four years, Fawkes had saved Harry that night in the Chamber.
Had Dumbledore been reborn into a phoenix? Phoenixes were immortal...I wished hard then that that was what had happened.
A few moments later arrows soared into the air in an arc but landed short of where we were sitting. Again, the screams sounded from around me, but I watched it all in a sort of slow motion. It was a salute. I knew it - but from who?
I looked around...something seemed to have changed in the forests in front of s, but I ignored it. Everyone around me was either weeping because they knew Dumbledore so well, or terrified because they knew how powerful Dumbledore had been. I was the latter. I knew Dumbledore had been like a father to Harry when he was at Hogwarts, and the cold pain in Harry's eyes I saw that day betrayed his calm silence.
Glancing at Ron I recognized his expression immediately. One he wore when he wanted to look as if he was bothered - but I knew it was a desperate attempt to keep his tears at bay. Ron would cry for Dumbledore - when no one was looking. That's how my brother was all his life. Then I looked at Hermione, she'd become a sister to me the past three years. It pained me to see the tears rolling down her cheeks silently as she kept her gaze locked on the white tomb. Her hand was clutching Ron's for support.
Opposites attracted. I smiled to myself. They would make a wonderful couple someday, when they would stop fighting, that is. I would be happy for them when they finally realized what I had seen in my first year at Hogwarts: that Ron and Hermione loved each other.
Then a familiar sadness settled over me, one that I had realized the night Dumbledore had died. Harry met my gaze then. I didn't shed a tear, shy away, or even try to escape his piercing green eyes.
Understanding hit both of us then. I hadn't wanted to accept it. All I wanted to do was fall into his arms and bury the problems that I knew we both faced. But I couldn't hide. I couldn't run from my problems, and he couldn't run from his. I wouldn't stand in his way, I wouldn't tell him to "Be careful" or "Don't risk your life like that" - because that would be admitting he was in real danger. I wasn't mature enough to face that yet.
After the funeral began to break up, people began talking about Dumbledore, reminiscing of all he had done. Harry took my hand and met my gaze even steadier than before. I wasn't ready for what he was going to say - but I knew what I had gotten myself into when I first kissed him, when I said I'd be his girlfriend.
He was Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. And, now, I knew, the only person that could destroy Lord Voldemort. That only meant one thing.
"Ginny, listen..." Harry began quietly. Conversation picked up around us - I could tell this was hurting him. But I had prepared myself, and my heart, to accept what I knew he was going to say. "I can't be involved with you anymore. We've got to stop seeing each other. We can't be together."
I knew saying those words were wounding him deeper than any jinx or curse. But my tears remained unshed as I said, "It's okay, Harry, I understand." Saying those words made me realize then just how hard it must be for him to say them.
He looked at me, his eyes more serious and hurt at the same time than I had ever seen them. He couldn't hide from me, and he knew that. "Do you?" He asked softly.
A smile found its way across my lips, slowly and surely. "It's for some stupid, noble reason, isn't it?" Boy, did I ever know. I knew why we couldn't be together - I think I even knew it that day after the Quidditch Match when I kissed him back - a day that seemed so far off from where we were then, sitting there trying to deny what was coming.
"It's been like...like something out of someone else's life, these last few weeks with you," he said. And it's been like walking on air and feeling butterflies when I'm with you I said to myself. "But I can't...we can't...I've got things to do alone now."
If he had to face this truth, and do it alone, I wouldn't make him feel worse by crying then. I simply looked at him, understanding him.
Then his face hardened slightly - I don't think he believed my silence. "Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to. He's already used you as bait once, and that was just because you're my best friend's sister." I winced inwardly at those words, remembering the Chamber for a moment, and the Department of Mysteries. I met his gaze again, "Think how much danger you'll be in if we keep this up. He'll know, he'll find out. He'll try and get to me through you."
How could I let him battle this alone? I wouldn't abandon him!
"What if I don't care?" I countered somewhat heatedly, though even as I said the words I knew what he meant: that he only wanted to protect me.
"I care," he said. "How do you think I'd feel if this was your funeral...and it was my fault..."
The words cut into my heart. I didn't even want to think what would happen if Voldemort knew Harry was with me. I looked away, and across the lake. Had it only been a few weeks since we had spent those afternoons together, in each other's arms, just enjoying the lake?
"I never really gave up on you," I said, my words weak. "Not really. I always hoped...Hermione told me to get on with my life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you." How many times had I thought there was no hope? And now the past few weeks had proved my emotions (for over six years) wrong? If I was going to have to say goodbye I wanted Harry to know how much he meant to me. "I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember?" How many times had I wished I'd been able to find words to at least ask him how he was all those times? "And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more - myself." I finished.
"Smart girl, that Hermione," he said, attempting to smile. I looked back at him, and managed a weak smile. "I just wish I'd asked you sooner. We could have had ages...months...years maybe..."
If he kept reminding me of how much we had missed out together I knew I would buckle under my swirling emotions. "Please don't think about how much time we wasted...I'm just happy that I got to be with you," I said.
Harry smiled, I could see the pain in his eyes as he spoke. "And so am I. Even if it was for a short time." I winced inwardly again at his words.
"But you were too busy saving the Wizarding world," I said, half laughing - a fake laugh that I had finally been able to manage. It didn't make me feel any stronger. "Well...I can't say that I'm surprised." My words were drawn out slowly, it was the truth - but it burned me to say it all the same. Yet, I continued. "I knew this would happen in the end." Did I dare? Yes. "I knew you wouldn't be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort."
Again, words that I thought would make it less painful only made me wince inside. But I had to be strong. This was something I knew only Harry could face, alone. Even though I knew alone meant with Ron and Hermione.
He could protect them. He couldn't protect me. Because he...loved me?
Harry and I were together, but he'd never said love - it was just holding hands, spending time together, and not to mention kissing. My heart squeezed then with the thought of it.
But he'd never said he loved me. Did he?
He was quiet for a time more and I could see that he was struggling with himself - just as I was. Then he got up. I pondered whether I should stop him - and found myself reaching for his arm, stopping him. He turned around and met my gaze.
"Do you love me?" I whispered.
I had never seen that look on Harry's face before - a torn one. "Please, Ginny, it's because I love you..." he trailed off as he shied away from my hand.
He turned again and walked away.
He wasn't looking, heading off in another direction probably trying to get away from the buzz that had become Dumbledore's funeral. I stood and headed toward the lake's edge away from the gathering, walking around people as I went, arms wrapped tightly around me as I continued on. My stomach was in knots - my heart spun into oblivion. I had to find out that the one person I had loved for five years loved me back, only to have him torn away from me?
I continued running away from the funeral, and along the edge of the lake.
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
Author's Note: First attempt at writing HP, and HarryGinny is my favorite all time couple. How'd I do?
