:: Perfect World ::
Gensomaden Saiyuki
Disclaimer: I don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Homura/Goku
Warnings: AU-ish, angst, language, yaoi
Notes: I apologize for the late update, but FFN was doing its upgrading thing. Still, the new chapter is here.
Thanks to everyone who have pointed out mistakes. As of this chapter, the past ones have been corrected.
Not much to say, so: constructive criticism and feedback is greatly appreciated.
Chapter Twelve
It had to be the most bizarre dream he'd ever had. Goku lay awake that morning, unnaturally still and quiet. It was barely morning, slivers of sunlight creeping through the curtain-clad window. The first thing he'd noticed upon waking was that he felt pleasantly warm. He shifted slightly, enough so he could get a better look of the man sleeping beside him. Homura's breathing was soft, his closed eyes giving no indication that he was awake.
That was actually a good thing, because it gave Goku time to think about the dream.
He was lying on the floor, bound by his wrists and ankles. Shackles pinned him to the ground, the floor smooth and cold. Each move he made sent shivers down his spine. His hands were flexing, wrestling uselessly against his restraints. He heard distant animalistic screaming.
His eyes darted around wildly, too fast to catch anything but fleeting impressions of his surroundings, but in his mind he could picture the room in its entirety. The ceiling was high, sloped in an upside-down U shape. It gave the room a vast feeling, even though in reality it was rather small.
The floor was tiled, done in various fine patterns. He was placed in the largest symbol of all, a large pentagram in the center of the room. The colors were simple, the outline of the stars and ancient symbols in black, the background done in pale turquoise tiles. Outside of the pentagram there were various colors, fading into each other like the blending of a rainbow: white into yellow, orange into red, violet into blue. Around the circle were many tall candles, all meticulously placed, all burning as the only light in the room.
He was splayed out in the center, writhing in pain and fury. The screams he heard were actually his own. He fought viciously against the shackles pinching his wrists, shrieked as loudly as he could. He couldn't even recognize his own voice; it was so inhuman, so angry, so... bloodthirsty. When he clenched his fists sharp nails tore into his palms, only making him even more furious.
Then power exploded before him.
His screams were instantly silenced as he watched, stunned. A mass of sheer energy was twisting and coiling above his body. Even though he could feel his own energy being drawn from his belly and into the living cloud above him he couldn't scream. He just stared, amazed, awed, fascinated, showing no sign of fear.
In fact, the feelings melted into a strange sense of happiness as the energy sank into an invisible point in the air, forming a large round ball. He was even trembling, longing to reach out and touch it, hold it. He had an unexplainable feeling that if he could just touch it he would be happy for the rest of his life.
Then it abruptly disappeared. He felt a ripping sensation, as though someone were tearing at his insides. At the same time his anger returned. Who the hell dared to take away his happiness? Who dared
He shrieked, finding the strength to tear the shackles from the floor. The metal went flying into the ceiling and he was moving, snarling, trying to locate the person who dared to make him unhappy.
All Goku could remember after that was a flash of gold. He could sense more than see the surprised expression of his captor. And, oddly enough, he had also felt one of the worst emotions he could think of: betrayal.
While Goku was very well aware it was just a dream and it probably meant nothing, it still unsettled him. It was also upsetting that even waking up nuzzled safely against his savior couldn't banish the bitter aftertaste of the dream.
He glanced at Homura again, blinking as he realized the man was awake. Homura was watching him oddly, one eyebrow raised. It made Goku nervous.
"Um..."
As though sensing his discomfort, Homura said mildly, "I was just surprised to wake up to a pouting face."
Goku scowled, the nervousness dissipating almost instantly. "I wasn't pouting!"
"You were." Homura smirked. "What's wrong? Bad dream?"
"I wasn't pouting," Goku insisted, aware too late that he was whining. He flushed a bit, wriggling away from Homura in embarrassment. Homura didn't stop him. Instead he sat up, though he didn't get out of bed. Goku looked down at the blankets a moment before he added in more normal tones, "I... actually did have a dream. Not really a nightmare. It was just... weird."
After a few moments of silence Homura seemed to realize Goku needed prompting. "Care to tell me?"
Goku frowned a bit, looking up. Homura was watching patiently, his mismatched eyes unwavering. Unexplainably, Goku found himself staring in particular at Homura's right eye. The eye that marked him as a heretic.
His golden eye.
"It..." He shook his head, trying to clear his cobwebbed thoughts. "It was... weird," he repeated lamely. "I mean... there was this room, right? It was a weird room, really high ceiling and lotsa patterns on the floor. And I was chained down on this..." He made a circular motion with his hands. "This thing... it had stars and a ton of weird letters I've never seen before. And I was screaming. I was just so angry for some reason. And there were lots of candles..." He trailed off, having a sudden bad feeling. He wasn't sure he wanted to tell Homura about the energy swarming above him.
After a long silence Homura finally spoke. "Sounds like a ritual of sorts."
Goku blinked. "Huh?"
"A sacrifice ritual, more like," Homura amended. "You were tied down, scared--"
"I was angry, not scared," Goku said hotly.
Homura smirked. "Of course. My apologies. In any case, it sounded like you were inside of a pentagram. And it sounded very much like you were about to be sacrificed to one thing or another. Perhaps a god, if those fanatical humans still exist," he mused.
Goku wasn't sure what to say to the man's interpretation. The explanation was sound enough but it didn't seem to ring quite true. Goku looked at the man doubtfully, biting his lower lip. It just doesn't sound quite right... and it feels like he's hiding something. "Homura..."
"Yes?"
He blinked, suddenly realizing that the idea was stupid. How could Homura be hiding anything? Goku's dream was just that: a dream. There was no way Homura could have had any idea what it was really supposed to mean.
Goku shook his head. "Never mind."
Shrugging, Homura took that as a sign their discussion was over. He slipped out of bed. Goku watched as the man stretched the last of sleep out of his muscles before he began to find fresh clothes to wear. The boy stared at the muscle lines on Homura's back, admiring the tone and vaguely wondering if his body would be in similar shape if Homura continued to train him for a few more years.
Watching Homura get dressed reminded Goku of something else that had been bothering him for a couple days.
"Hey, Homura..." Goku waited until the man made an acknowledging noise before he continued. "Sharing a bed with you is nice and all, but when're we gonna have sex?"
Homura stopped. He turned to look at the boy, his expression blank except for mild perplexity. He finished pulling down his shirt before grabbing his cape, dusting it off with exaggerated care. At last he spoke. "What brought that on?"
It was Goku's turn to stare. "Well... the fact that we've been sleeping in the same bed for almost a week and we haven't done anything?"
" 'Done anything' is a very broad and loose term," Homura said delicately. The cape fluttered as he draped it over his shoulders. The movement made the stitched flames briefly come to life.
"You know what I mean by it," Goku said crossly. "I just asked when we were gonna have sex."
Homura hesitated again. This time Goku began to grow anxious; normally when Homura didn't answer right away it meant the question needed serious consideration. Serious consideration meant he wasn't positive, which in turn meant he was probably questioning his own feelings. That was what alarmed Goku.
"You're not content with the way things are?" It had started out as a statement but slipped into a mildly puzzled question with the last few syllables. The look Homura gave him was of genuine confusion. Goku bristled.
"What are you saying?" the boy demanded, kicking the blankets aside so he could stand up. He flinched at the cold floor beneath his feet and immediately jumped back on the bed again, tucking his feet beneath him to warm them quickly. He didn't let that deter him. "I thought I told you I didn't want a parent!"
"You did, and I understand that perfectly," Homura said. "However, you did not make it clear as to what you did want."
Feeling his temper rising, Goku narrowed his eyes at the man. He slammed a balled fist into his palm. "You knew perfectly well what I wanted, damn it!"
"You said a relationship," Homura reminded him quietly.
"Yes, a relationship! That includes sex!" Homura shook his head, and the boy felt his blood heating. "You knew what I meant then, and you know now," Goku accused. He got back up, cringing as his feet touched the floor again. This time he stayed standing. "Why're you acting like you don't? You're keeping secrets!"
Though Homura had a remarkable amount of patience, it seemed to be wearing a little the more Goku yelled. "Adults have their reasons for secrets."
"I'm not a child," Goku snarled.
"I have never asked or demanded you tell me any of your secrets," Homura said impatiently. "And I am not calling you a child. You are assuming things."
Frustration made it difficult for Goku to speak right away. He struggled to think, to clear his head and try to make sense out of their argument, but it was growing increasingly impossible. "Yeah, and I'm assuming that you're just too scared to start a real relationship!"
That seemed to hit a nerve. The level of Homura's voice didn't change, but now there was an almost deadly note to his tone. "It's for your own good that our relationship doesn't go beyond the platonic level."
"I didn't ask for friendship!" His voice rose considerably on the last word. "You know I didn't! And it's not fair that you led me on this far, and then when I ask you to get serious you pretend to misunderstand me!"
Homura grew quiet again. At last he said, "Perhaps we should continue this conversation later." Without giving Goku the chance to protest he turned on his heel and left the room. Goku flinched as the door practically slammed.
Rather than feel guilty for upsetting Homura, as he might have under normal circumstances, Goku grew even more annoyed. A string of curses erupted from his mouth, all learned from Zenon though not all were quite as colorful as his. He stomped around childishly as he looked for his clothes, yanking his shirt over his head and nearly castrating himself with his zipper in his anger.
Outside the room was a hallway. At the other end there was nothing but a wall and a window. Halfway down were two doors, one on each side. The one to Goku's right led downstairs and the one to his left led up. He didn't see Homura.
Goku chose the left door.
They had taken over Konran Tower nearly a week before. Or rather, Homura had. Goku didn't know the finer details since he'd had to wait outside with Zenon and Shien, but he did know that Homura had gone inside, struck a deal with the demons, and had granted them immortality. Many of them still wandered the place, though most were living closer to the bottom floor now. Goku had seen them occasionally, just long enough to note the chakras and blank stare in their eyes. When he asked, Homura had merely said the demons were no longer themselves.
And, cryptically enough, he had said something along the lines of, "They have made their fate a sad one." Goku wasn't entirely sure what that meant, and when he prodded he couldn't get an answer. That was one of the few things about Homura that really annoyed him; the man didn't like explaining himself. This usually left Goku to interpret most things on his own-- and what had happened just minutes before was a good example of how some of his "interpretations" ended up.
Goku wasn't entirely sure where the others tended to hang out, though he did have a vague idea. Zenon was closer to the ground, though not so close he would come into contact with the demon-gods every day. Even if they were gods he still seemed to despise them. Shien was much farther toward the top of the tower. Goku had never been up farther than Homura's room level (around the middle, but closer to the roof than the bottom) and he'd heard that Shien preferred being closer to the heavens because of the view.
If the view was really so great, he intended to see it. It wasn't like he had anything better to do anyway-- and he sure as hell didn't want to stay in Homura's room. Not after that fight.
Hopefully he wouldn't encounter Homura on the way.
Wandering the tower a bit, Goku had discovered that the basic layout was very simple. The lower floors had narrow halls but wide rooms. Presumably, those rooms used to be good for training. Many of the demon-gods lolled about there. There was a large basement beneath the structure-- or rather, a prison, and there they kept those who opposed Homura and his ideals. Homura had once said he would release them once the new world was created.
Further up the hallways grew wider but the rooms were numerous and smaller. Those had been where the demon-gods used to keep their things and sleep. Now they were empty, which mildly disturbed Goku. He tried to avoid most of them.
He had yet to explore the higher regions, and at first Goku decided they weren't much different from the levels below. At last he emerged onto a floor he definitely hadn't seen before. The hallway was gone, and in its place was a large, circular room. Goku glanced around, startled by the new discovery. The colors were mostly shades of blue and green, tiles splayed out on the floor in some sort of intricate pattern. Goku had the feeling it should mean something to him, but he couldn't put his finger on it.
"What are you doing?"
The voice was quiet but not soft, subtly demanding. Goku started and turned, blinking in surprise. "Um..."
Shien took a step forward. His eyes were closed but still seemed as though they were pinning Goku with a hard stare. "You are not supposed to be here," he said quietly. "You're not ready to see this room."
Puzzled, Goku finally found words again. "I just wanted to go to the top," he said defensively. "You're always up there, and Homura's always saying how you think the view's so great..."
Shien tilted his head. Narrow green eyes opened, though barely, and Goku got sudden cold chills. He rubbed his bare arms to soften the goosebumps.
"Well then, perhaps we should go together." The invitation succeeded in surprising Goku. "However, there are faster ways to get there. This way." With that Shien turned and started back out the door Goku had come through. Scratching the back of his head, Goku briefly wondered if following him really would be such a good idea. Curiosity won out over apprehension, and he went.
They went down two floors before Shien took an abrupt turn down the corridor. At the seemingly dead end he put his hand on the wall, pushing slightly. When he drew his hand away Goku saw a faint red circle on the wall. It seemed like a light, though the edges were fuzzy... almost as though it were a button.
When the wall split open Goku gawked. "We have an elevator?"
A faint smile crossed Shien's normally solemn expression. "Somehow I am not surprised you didn't realize this."
Scowling, Goku followed him inside. He honestly hadn't realized they'd had elevators... though thinking about it, it did make sense. What normal person -- human, demon, or otherwise -- would walk that many flights of stairs just to get a look at decent scenery?
"The buttons are at the end of every hallway," Shien said quietly. "To your left in each one."
Goku leaned against one of the walls, glancing sideways at the god. "Why're you telling me?"
"You ought to know the structure of our base inside and out," was the simple answer.
"If I'm supposed to know, then what about the room we just left? "
Shien said nothing.
When the doors slid open again Goku knew, without having to ask, that they were at the top. It felt a little harder to breathe since the air was thinner, but it wasn't too horrible. Grinning, he hurried out of the elevator and to the nearest railing. There were no walls here. "Wow! We're above the clouds, aren't we? Cool!"
Shien leaned against the pillar nearest to the boy, his face turned outward. There wasn't much up here but clouds and slivers of pale blue sky, but it was certainly quite the sight for someone who had never seen it before. Shien didn't seem to find it remarkable, but he must have liked something about it since he came here so often.
"I ran into Homura downstairs."
The mention of the name made Goku stiffen. He tried not to let his annoyance show on his face. "Yeah. So?"
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shien shrug. "He seemed... mildly upset."
Mildly? Goku turned to look at the man, but Shien still kept his face turned away. "So?" he repeated.
Shien sighed. He sat down on the broad top rail, adjusting himself until he seemed more comfortable. "Perhaps I should get to the point," he said. "I do not, and never quite have, believed that you belong here with us."
Stung, Goku straightened up before glaring. "Yeah, well, you've made that obvious by trying to kill me during practice."
"I've never drawn blood, nor broken anything," Shien pointed out. That only irritated Goku further, because Homura had said the same thing before. "I am merely saying that you don't belong here because you do not understand our leader."
Goku narrowed his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you do not understand Homura's purpose," Shien responded; his voice was infuriatingly calm. "You know he wants to create a new world, but you do not know why. You know nothing of his past, and yet you insist on starting a relationship with him."
Goku opened his mouth to retort, then shut it quickly when what Shien said sank in. "How did you know...?"
"It was obvious."
That could have meant Shien knew Homura well enough to simply tell, that he found Goku easy to read, or that Goku had been careless and let on more than he'd realized. Then again, Homura had never made any move to conceal the relationship... but Goku had never thought it was obvious.
Besides, Homura didn't seem to think their relationship was what Goku thought it was-- further from that of mere friends and companions, closer to that of lovers.
Clenching his fists, Goku mustered up his quickly fading anger to ask Shien heatedly, "So you're telling me to stay away from him?"
"I'm telling you it is unwise to push him."
"Yeah, well..." Goku floundered a moment, then took a deep breath and snapped, "Well, if he really didn't want me, he would have rejected me!" Without waiting to see Shien's reaction he turned and ran, slamming his hand into the wall. The elevator doors opened immediately. The last thing Goku saw before the doors slid shut was Shien shaking his head. Though he had only caught a glimpse of it, the movement struck Goku as melancholy somehow. He tried to ignore the feeling, leaning against the wall and sliding down to the floor. He hugged his knees tightly.
Great... now what should I do?
------
It was with great reluctance Goku pushed the door open.
He didn't know why he was back here. He had spent most of the afternoon sulking, thinking over what Shien had said. What bothered him most was that the man was right-- he didn't understand Homura, and he was asking a lot for someone in his position.
It startled him to see Homura already there. He was lying on the bed, one knee bent toward the ceiling, his hands clasped behind his head. Goku quietly shut the door behind him, taking in the position and Homura's peaceful expression; it was as though he were asleep. His eyes were closed, strands of black falling in a weak attempt to veil his eyelids.
He is attractive, Goku admitted to himself. It wasn't hard to see why so many women were flustered when he randomly struck conversation with them. Goku knew his real intentions for speaking to them, even if they didn't.
At least I know that much...
He had the sudden irresistible urge to brush the stray strands away from Homura's face. Hell, he just wanted to touch his hair. It looked soft, and for some reason it conjured an image he could barely perceive in the edges of his mind: long golden hair, bright and shimmering as the sun... a complete contrast to Homura's, oddly enough.
Before he could continue that puzzling train of thought Goku blinked, realizing that Homura was now watching him. At first neither of them said anything, and it was Homura who broke the silence. He didn't smirk, didn't make a smart-ass remark. Instead, he simply said, "You're late."
Goku shrugged, lowering his eyes. He heard the sheets rustle as Homura sat up. "I... guess... I should--"
"Hush." Frowning, Goku looked up; opening his mouth to protest, but Homura shook his head. "Let me speak."
Reluctant, Goku shut his mouth and sat down beside him.
"First of all, I ought to apologize." Goku couldn't help it; his jaw dropped. "You had every right to accuse me of leading you on. I was doing that, and I apologize."
"But I--"
"However," the man continued. "If you really want to so badly, I am willing to let our relationship skip a few steps."
Goku gave him a puzzled look. "Skip a few..." It dawned on him, and he grinned widely. "Don'tcha mean to the next step?" he asked eagerly.
"No," Homura said, smirking and looking far more like his old self. He reached out calmly, tugging on the zipper to Goku's jeans. "I mean skip a few. Quite a few." He looked up at Goku, meeting his gaze directly before he reached up, brushing his knuckles across the boy's face. "I want you to know first," he murmured, "that I did not intend to lead you on before."
Grinning impishly, Goku grabbed Homura's arm just below the shackle. "I believe you," he said simply. "And... sorry for pushing you the way I did," he added, embarrassed.
"I believe this has been settled, then?" There was an unusually wicked glimmer on the man's eyes. Goku found he liked it.
"Mmhm. So..."
Complying with his silent request, Homura leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Goku allowed his eyes to fall shut, enjoying the sensation as long as he was allowed. His eyes snapped open when Homura pulled on his zipper again.
"Don't run from me again," he muttered, making a small noise in the back of his throat as Homura dropped his kiss down to the boy's jaw.
"As you wish." Goku snorted softly at Homura's wry tone, the sound quickly falling into a hiss as the god's hand slipped into his pants. He easily fell back to the bed, allowing Homura to gain the upper hand. That would be all right... for the first time, anyway.
