To Everybody Who Cares: Here's an iron clad promise. Feel free to hate me and do everything in your power to make people stop reading my stories if I break it. Really, I'm being serious. The last chapter was posted for five minutes and I was already getting reviews. I love you for it. So... I swear I won't stop until it's done. Even if it's fifty chapters from now (which I pray I don't drag it out that far) or even if it's only two, it will get finished. Much love to everyone who reviewed for chapter 14, I was really surprised when I got that much feedback. Now, I'm sure you're anxious and so am I, so read the tiny AN and chapter and get back to me!
A/N: The song in the chapter is A Perfect Circle's Passive. I love it, and if you've never heard it and are into rock, you should listen to it too. Anyways, enjoy!
Chapter 14: Passive-Aggressive Bullshit
She was tied down. Again. This time at least she was sitting up in a chair,
however, that wasn't the point. They could've used chains, but no, they'd prefer to make her have no movement what-so-ever. A sudden sound of activity made her realize that she wasn't alone. Opening her eyes, she expected to see Lucius or maybe even the snake who had... had... she didn't want to think about what he'd done to her. The one person she didn't expect was happy-go-lucky Dumbledore looking down at her with a puzzled look and a frown.
"What is this Dumbledore? Why am I tied up? You wouldn't believe what just happened. I was in this castle and..." she noticed the empty potion bottle in his hand, "What's that for?"
"I'm sorry that it has come to this, but I'm left with no choice when you've placed us in such desperate circumstances."
"Circumstances? What circumstances? I saved lives. I think that some groveling should be in order if anything." his face only turned grimmer.
"Can you explain to me why I have three men in a coma right now? Angel,
Alexander, and Ronald appeared outside of the grounds last night unconscious, but more importantly neither I nor any of the staff had any recollection of who they were until about five minutes after their arrival. This means a spell was cast, a memory spell, and a powerful one at that. Then this morning a Dementor waltzes up to Hogwarts and hands you over. That, plus the fact that my spies at Voldemort's have seen several disturbing things, makes me think that you had something to do with it." Buffy had to bite back a cruel remark.
"And what makes me a criminal? The fact that I'm a Slayer or the fact that I'm in Slytherin? Because we all know that if Hermione Granger had popped up under the same 'circumstances' as you call them, she would be welcomed with open arms and not strapped to a chair in the middle of an unlit room being berated by a man who clearly has no idea what he's talking about."
"Hermione Granger did not kiss Voldemort." he scoffed.
"And you think that having that man kiss me was by choice? I did it for the greater good. I sacrificed, not that you would know anything about that."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You, wizards, you're all about 'doing the right thing', but when it comes to real disaster and sacrifice you say that there are ways around it. Well, guess what, when those three men's lives were at stake and the only way to save them was to smooch the big bad, I made a choice. And I'm glad that I made the one that I did. Now what was in the bottle that's in your hand which I'm guessing you slipped to me while I was asleep."
"A potion. A weakening potion. We can't take anymore chances on you Ms.
Summers. It's... it's just not rational to allow you to walk around with such power when I'm not even sure which side you're on. Unless when Ronald and the others wake up and say something to make me think otherwise, you are henceforth a danger to yourself and those around you. You may continue with your classes, but remember that I'll have both mine and the professor's eyes on you. This is no game Buffy, lives are at stake." He walked over to the door, opened it, and mumbled something that undid the ropes around Buffy's body.
As she stood, a shooting pain ran from her hip to her shoulder. It was a feeling that Buffy couldn't remember ever experiencing before; soreness. She hobbled through the corridors, trying to find her way to the common room. Paintings stared, pieces of armor turned, and students gawked at the woman who a Dementor had brought onto the grounds. 'I heard he touched her' one of them mouthed while a portrait of a rather large woman sat up strait and said something like 'whoever is a friend of a Dementor is bad business, mark my words'.
She wanted to hide, she wanted to run, and as she finally found the entrance to the Slytherin Rooms, she realized that what she really wanted was Harry. But that, she knew, was impossible. He would believe the rumors, and she wouldn't be able to get the picture of him wrapped around Willow out of her head. Both were obstacles, and as she said the password, she came to terms with the thought that she may not be able to overcome hers.
Gray eyes met her own as someone peered at her from the couch. Of coarse, the only one there was Draco with his nose in some novel or potions homework. He stood slowly and for some reason looked at the ground. Buffy couldn't help but be confused. Was he sad? Did he not want to talk to her? Was he embarrassed? Whatever it was, she didn't care. She needed comfort, and if Harry wasn't around than she was willing to take the next best thing.
Running to him, tears crept their way over her eyelids and fell helplessly down her cheek. He whispered something that she didn't quite catch that sounded like, "I'm so sorry." She buried her way into his neck, needing the consolation that his presence created. He quieted her and told her to sit on the couch. Wrapping a warm blanket around her, he sat with her as she wept in his arms.
"Am I really so horrible? Am I? They're saying that I bring death, that I'm one of those people who crave destruction. Do I? Why else would I put myself in these positions?"
"Shh, shh. You are none of those things. You try your best to save the ones you love, and it doesn't matter what other people think. I know you have a good heart, and you wouldn't be the woman that I've come to know and trust if you didn't have a way of getting yourself into sticky situations. Are their opinions really worth it, love?" She looked up at him, face pale and tear-stained.
"Harry's is, and I'm afraid that he won't believe me."
"Not that I'm trying to sabotage your relationship, but if you have to justify your actions to him then what's the point of you even being together. I mean, he kissed another girl. If after all he's done he's still expecting an explanation... well, it would be really selfish of him to even think about that. Especially after all you've been through" Draco looked down at her as she showed a brave smile.
"You need rest. Let's get you to bed, princess." she grabbed his arm before he could leave the sofa, eyes pleading.
"Don't make me go up there, please. Can... can you just stay down here with me?" she looked so vulnerable as she said the words that Draco couldn't help but agree. Arranging himself so he was leaning against the arm, he let her lay across the couch with her head in his lap. She mouthed a 'thank you' before falling into a dreamless sleep. Playing with her hair, Draco found himself leaning down and kissing her forehead, wondering if he could ever feel with any other girl what he felt at that moment.
Morning inevitably came, and Buffy made sure to be out of the common room before anyone saw that she was there. Before leaving she turned to see a sleeping Draco spread out on the couch, and she sighed a sigh filled with longing and heartache. If she'd met Draco under different circumstances, if he'd shown her the man that he really was sooner, she knew that it would be his lips that would catch hers when the night was over. But alas he was not, he was a friend that could never be anything more. A friend that would always want more...
As she got into the hallway, she didn't even get the chance to identify who was there before she was enveloped in a huge hug, "I've been looking everywhere for you. Some people were saying that you were dead, and then someone saw a Dementor bring you to Hogwarts. I was so scared. Are you okay?"
"I've been better, but no lasting bruises."
"What happened to you? Word's spreading about you being a Death Eater but I told them you'd have nothing to do with it. Bleeding first years and their gossip. Draco wasn't giving details about what had happened and Harry wouldn't open his mouth for an instant, like he was afraid of something. I swear, I've never seen anyone look so dumb in my entire life just sitting there staring into space." Tru mumbled so fast that Buffy was hardly able to keep up with her.
"It's okay, Tru I'm fine, and if it's alright with you I think I'd rather not talk about it right now. Kinda want to forget it if you know what I mean."
"Understandable. I'll go get Willow and we'll..."
"No! I mean, no. I... Well..." Buffy tried to find words to explain why the thought of seeing her friend made her skin crawl, "She'll just ask questions that I'm not ready to answer yet. I think I want to just get to class if that's alright." Tru nodded and they walked off towards Potions.
The day crept by slowly. Crowds gathered and parted for the girl who was said to be Voldemort's heiress, and it didn't seem to Buffy like she could find a moments peace away from the gossip. In Defense Against the Dark Arts the only friendly greeting was by a Ravenclaw she'd made friends with earlier in the year, but even that was tainted because of the girl's friends pulling her back and giving her glares. However, none of that mattered. There was only one person that she cared about in that class, and her heart nearly broke as she spotted Harry up front with Hermione, neither even acknowledging her existence.
It was only after Herbology that Buffy would finally get her chance to talk to him. She was chatting with Tru about what types of curses remove people's voices when suddenly someone pulled her by her elbow to the side. It was Harry.
"We need to talk. Alone." he eyed Tru who tilted her head to the side and smirked at him before leaving.
"Never start up a conversation with a girl like that. It can only mean one thing." Buffy said more to herself than to him. The pity in Harry's eyes was unbearable and so she looked at the wall next to him instead.
"I don't think we should see each other anymore. It's just... there's a lot of stuff going on right now. A lot of things that I've got to work out."
"What things? Is..." her mind flashed to a picture of him and Willow in the hallway, "Is there somebody else?" She was near choking by now. This was Harry, her Harry. The guy who told her he'd give her the world someday. And he was breaking up with her.
"Well, no. No, there isn't." his voice was flat, and it didn't take a genius to realize it was a falsehood.
"But..." her voice broke, "I love you, Harry. Everything that you said, everything that happened. Were you just lying to..." she didn't even want to think about it and was shocked when he moved to hug her.
"You have to believe that I meant every word. It's just..." Buffy cut him off,
pushing him away.
"Than say it. Look me in the eye and tell me you love me. All I want is to hear it and I won't ask you for the details."
"I... I can't, Buffy."
"Can't or won't?"
"Can't. Won't. Both. I don't know." he started rubbing his forehead. Buffy leaned her head against the wall, watching him pace.
"You know what just occurred to me." she said, closing her eyes, "When you told me everything, showed me everything about you, I forgot one important fact. You know how to reject the curse." Harry tried to grab her arm as she backed away, but she flinched from his touch.
"How long were you cheating on me with her?"
"I never cheated on you." his face remained hard as he said it, his eyes revealing very little. It took all Buffy's will not to reach in, not to pull out what she wanted. She could read him so easily if she wanted to, but no. He had to tell her himself.
"But you're strong enough to say no. You did it once before, don't you dare deny it. Some part of you had to of wanted it. You had to." tears were falling by this time.
"What do you want me to say, Buffy? That I don't love you? Fine, I'll say it. I don't know if I ever loved you. We were only together a couple of weeks. That's hardly long enough to create that intense of a feeling. You... I like you Buffy, but I don't know what to say. Willow's different from you in so many ways. She doesn't... she doesn't dwell on the past like you do. She doesn't get people put in a coma. She doesn't mysteriously vanish in the middle of the night and she doesn't have anything that Voldemort might want. She's safe." He rested his hands on her shoulders as she started at the ground.
"Why did you have to pick her? There are so many other girls who fit that description. Why did you have to pick one of my best friends? Do you hate me that much?" she bored her eyes into his, demanding an answer, but lost interest quickly, "You know what? I hope you're happy with her, and I hope that she pleases you in all of the ways that I couldn't. I hope that you can't lie to her as easily as you lied to me, because I loved you. I didn't think anyone could pretend such a feeling, but I guess this isn't the first time I've been proved wrong." she swept her hand in front of her, knocking his arms from her shoulders.
She could feel a headache forming in the back of her head, and it was almost as if the sound of fingernails grinding against chalkboard was drumming in her ears. Fleeing into her training room for safety, she blared the stereo Hermione had given her when she'd first arrived at Hogwarts. Slipping a well-used CD into the drive, she let the sound of A Perfect Circle wash over her. She listened to the lyrics she'd memorized years ago and laid her head down on a pile of books that her and Tru had never thought to put away.
lololololol
'Dead as dead can be The doctor tells me But I just can't believe him Ever the optimistic one I'm sure of your ability To become my perfect enemy'
lololololol
Turning her head towards the punching bags, she wondered exactly what friends she had left. Xander, Ron, and Angel were still in a coma. Willow and Harry were together. Spike was, well, who knew where he had gone to. Tru wouldn't understand, she'd never lost someone she loved. She wouldn't know what to say. And Draco... he would be there. He'd always be there.
As the song carried on, Buffy recognized the fact that she had to get out. She'd die in Hogwarts, with Dumbledore hounding her and medicating her strength away. With Harry and Willow being, well, Harry and Willow. With her friends that she feared would never wake up. She couldn't stay any longer, there was no point to it. Her original reason for being there had faded long ago, along with her sister's faith in her. Why was she allowing this place to take such a hold on her when she could just... go? Back to Sunnydale and Giles and her mother. Back to the less complicated world of Slaying.
Nostalgia was growing in her stomach for her Junior year in high school when there was a Willow and Oz and a Xander and Cordelia. When there was a purpose in her life. Now that slaying was gone, her energy was gone, what was there left for her? Being a witch? No, something about it didn't seem right. Giles would know how to reverse the effects of whatever Dumbledore had given her. He'd know what to do.
lololololol
'Wake up (Why can't you)
And face me (Come on now)
Don't play dead (Don't play dead)
'Cause maybe (Because maybe)
Someday (Someday)
I'll walk away and say You fucking disappoint me Maybe your better off this WAY!'
lololololol
Only three people noticed as Buffy crept off into the night, carrying with her two things. First was a small pack which was full of her most valued possessions: her money, her diary, her necklace, and her wand to name a few. The second was a large suitcase full of clothes which she'd managed to shrink into a pocket sized version and slipped into the first bag. And those three people, being the flawed, curious, and overly-protective people that they were, followed Buffy into the unknown.
A/N: Hmm, wonder who they are? If any of you are wondering where our favorite bleach blonde vampire is, go back to the end of Confessions for a hint. Oh, and if you're curious, I'm going to explain Harry's sudden change of heart with the whole 'I love you' thing next chapter. Reviewing is nice, please do so immediately. XOXO!
Preview: It was strange how she found herself drunk from only two beers. Or maybe it was just the fact that she was home. Yeah, that had to be it. And as she stood there scanning the room she felt the hand slither around her waste, felt the tight lips brushing against her skin. He was there and everything was going to be okay. But wait. Buffy's daydream was ended as she noticed the hands soft feel, the firmness of those lips. This man wasn't Harry. Harry left her. The words echoed in her head. This man wasn't Harry!
