A/N2: Well, I know it's late in the story to ask for help with my whole BETA problem,
but I've always been a procrastinator. So, if there are any of you out there reading this
story and want to help me with my grammar issues than please review saying you're
interested. I'll look foreword to hearing from you.
-start lyrics-
Tell me that we belong together Dress it up with the trappings of love I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips Instead of the gallows Of heartache that hang from above
-end lyrics-
Chapter 15: Looking Deeper
"So, what'd you say to her?" Hermione asked, slightly afraid of her best friend's actions. He sat down on the couch beside her, and she moved her Potions homework out of the way to give him more room. He sighed, folded his arms, and muttered something that wasn't meant for her to hear.
"It's done, let's just leave it at that." Harry answered. She openly gawked at him.
"My goodness, what did you tell the poor girl?"
"I said that I didn't... I said I didn't..." there was a break in his voice, and the gasp that Hermione let loose told him that he needn't finish his sentence. She knew exactly what he meant.
"How could you be so cruel as that? She wasn't my favorite person, but dear lord. Was that really necessary?"
"What would you have me do!" he screamed, suddenly overcome by guilt, "Tell
her that, 'Oh, by the way, Voldemort dropped by yesterday for a chat. It was quite nice,
all we did was talk about you and the fact that you don't want me and the fact that I got
you kidnapped by him and his men because I bought that stupid potion off of that idiot
Ravenclaw that turned out to be a Death Eater. Yes, indeed, he said he'd cause you a lot
more pain before it was over, even said he planned on branding you with the dark mark
and making you his bride. Told me you were a hell of a kisser, you were. So, I'm
dumping you now and hoping never to speak to you again 'cause the only reason he really
wants you is 'cause of me, and if we're not together you'll be alright. Well, goodbye
now.' Doesn't really sound right now does it? Besides, she was the one being hurtful.
Spouting ideas about how I've been cheating on her. Like I'd ever lay a hand on Willow."
"But you did." Hermione countered, feeling extremely sorry for Buffy at the moment. No one deserved to hear that they weren't loved, especially by the one they've given their heart too.
"I was Confounded! I was Confounded and THEN had the Imperius put on me. Do you know how HARD it is to get out of it when you've been Confounded? Bloody impossible if you ask me!" Even though he said the words, he heart shrank. He'd told Buffy he didn't love her. He had watched her cry and done nothing. He had wanted so badly to kiss her, to tell her never to leave him even though he probably deserved it. But he'd failed her and in so doing hurt her even more.
"So why not explain yourself? I mean, look at everything she's been through! You should tell her the truth. You owe her that much..."
"You don't get it, do you? I love her, Hermione. And sometimes... sometimes the only way to save the people you love is to let them go. She has friends to turn to, and as soon as Xander and Angel wake up she'll probably be bouncing off the walls. She doesn't need me."
"Does she know that?" asking in a small voice that she didn't even know she'd managed to let out, Hermione gained no answer as she watched him return to the dormitories. Making her way up to her bed, she decided that she'd talk to Buffy in the morning and sort the mess out. Even though she doubted her twin would really want to see her, there were things that needed to be said about their discussion on the night of the dance. Hermione was going to be there for her whether or not Buffy wanted her to be.
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Colored light sprayed Buffy's face as soon as the sun rose high enough to reach the decorative windows which surrounded her. The sudden glow of red, gold, and pale green on her eyelids stirred her out of her sleep, and Buffy opened her eyes to a picture of a young woman carrying a child. She read the banner which the angels held above her head. 'Our Lady of Miracles. May the Blessed Mother protect us.' For some reason Buffy found herself smiling at the words as she sat up in the pew.
"I've watched many come to look upon her face and find comfort in it. I see she has the same calming effect on you as well." Buffy turned to the man in the main aisle of the church and beamed at him.
"She's beautiful." she answered, turning her head back to look at Mary again.
"I'm not supposed to allow people to sleep here for obvious reasons. This church has had several people take advantage of its hospitality over the years. Some even went as far as to try and burn it down."
"Why would they do that?" Buffy asked the priest, curious to why the church would have enemies.
"The Catholic church has always been scrutinized against. A lot of people who don't follow the faith or simply don't know enough about it start controversies. Some decide to retaliate in their own, less subtle ways."
"I'm sorry for that."
"No need for you to apologize. I only came to wake you because there will be a mass in an hour and while I don't mind if you attend the service I think people will find it odd that there's a girl sleeping in one of the pews." he smiled at her, eyes aged with wisdom and understanding. He turned to leave, and Buffy called out to him.
"Father, wait!"
"Yes?"
"I'm thankful that you let me stay here and all, but why did you?"
"To tell you the truth I would have felt as if I'd betrayed my faith if I had sent away one of the Lord's champions to seek shelter elsewhere. Especially one who's done so much good in the world." he gave a quick glance away from her to the stained glass picture of the Blessed Mary and Buffy, who was quite puzzled by his answer, followed his gaze.
"How did you know?" she asked timidly, but when she turned to look for him he had already gone. Sighing, she picked up her bag and hurried out. As soon as she exited through the double doors, though, she found herself staring at something she hadn't been expecting to see.
Draco was sitting cross legged leaning against the wall with his eyes closed and his head on Tru's shoulder who was sitting next to him. Both looked incredibly worn out from their night time adventures. Buffy was about to approach them when she caught sight of something else. What she'd mistaken for luggage was actually a person bundled up with a head on Tru's leg. Squinting at the figure, Buffy was interested to see who else had helped to track her down. Then she noticed a bit of red hair spilling out onto the concrete and knew exactly who it was. But why had Willow come? Didn't she know how mad she was at her?
"Wut? Mornin' already? Looks 'ike we mi' 'ave ta burst down th' door after all." Draco managed to get out while he was yawning, still half asleep.
"Sounds good. You should go do it then and give us five more minutes." Tru said,
moving Draco's head off of her so that she could lean against Willow instead.
"What do ya mean? You're coming with me! This was your idea!"
"No, no, no. You said, 'Aren't you gonna go after her then?' And I said, 'Only if you come with me.'"
"Exactly, you told me to come. This is your deal."
"You woulda come with me anyway, you stupid blighter. You're the one who's fallen head first for her."
"Can't you just give it a rest and BOTH go get her? I'll stay out here and watch out stuff." Willow spoke up, stretching out her legs.
"Ugh, what stuff? We didn't bring anything, Ms. Tag-Along!"
"Tag along! I'm the one who told you she was leaving in the first place!"
"So." both Tru and Draco said at the same time. Buffy couldn't help but laugh from her spot behind an oversized column.
"What's all the yellin' about?" she said, walking out into the bright sunlight so that they could see her. Tru gave her a huge grin, Draco a sheepish one, and Willow's was merely a polite smile saying 'hello'.
"Good morning. Me and Draco thought we'd have to drag you all the way back
to Hogwarts asleep, but now that you're awake it'll be a whole lot easier." Tru said,
looking a whole lot more at ease now that Buffy was outside.
"I'm not going back," Buffy said, frowning.
"Just because Harry dumped you?" Draco was starting to look angry.
"No, because people don't trust me there. Dumbledore's turned into a complete ass..."
"Wait, what'd Dumbledore do?" Tru asked, running a few fingers through her hair to make herself look more presentable. A few parishioners walked up the steps, giving them a couple of sideways glances before moving on to find their seats and listen to the upcoming sermon. Buffy realized that they needed to be quieter and stepped closer to them so she could whisper.
"He drugged me to make me... weak." Buffy stared down at the ground,
embarrassed of what she'd lost. Willow's eyes were the only ones that held any type of
understanding, and Buffy knew she knew exactly what she was talking about.
"Why would he do that to you?" Willow asked sympathetically.
"I don't know and I don't care. I just need to get to Giles so he can fix it."
"So you're going back to Sunnydale then?" Tru asked. Buffy nodded, looking from one face to another.
"Alrighty then, why don't we just disapperate there?"
"What do you mean WE? YOU are all going back to Hogwarts for a couple of hours of sleep. I am going to Sunnydale. Alone."
"I don't think so, Princess."
"Draco's right, why should we get left out? If you're going to do something incredibly stupid you might as well take your best friends with you." Tru laughed as she said it and Buffy ended up giggling as well. While Buffy hugged Draco and Tru, Willow hung back, leaning herself against the wall so that Buffy could skip her if she wanted. But Buffy just looked at her, the picture of remorse and sorrow and regret, and shoved her arms around her. Willow smiled, wrapping her arms around her best friend, tears falling down her face.
"I'm so sorry, Buffy! I didn't want to do it. I'd never... I mean... he's not even my type. I couldn't stop. I didn't know how. I'm just... goddess... I'm just SO sorry." the words poured out of her mouth with such sincerity that no one even thought of judging her integrity. Buffy pulled back and gave her hand a quick squeeze, knowing how hard it was for her to admit what she'd done.
"I know, Willow. I'm sorry too. I freaked when I saw the two of you and just thought that maybe you'd wanted it to happen. I should've known better than to think that you'd ever do something like that."
"So, now that the group hug's over, maybe we should head out?" Draco said,
trying to herd them over to the back of the building so they wouldn't be seen.
"We're not going anywhere unless we all get a good night's rest. I don't know about you guys, but I'm dead tired. I only had two hours of sleep and I'm betting all of you had a worse night than I did."
"It's not like we've got any muggle money for a hotel." Tru said, always the realistic one.
"That's true. We can't go to Hogsmeade either... someone will be sure to spot us and take us back to Hogwarts." Draco agreed.
"And we need some normal clothes if we're going back to California. Robes aren't exactly fashionable there." Willow chimed in.
"Guys, guys. You didn't think I thought this through before running off? I have money and a place set up where we can crash. I was just seriously in need of sleep and stayed here because I couldn't go the rest of the way with my energy on low. I made reservations for myself at a Holiday Inn. I could even get an extra room if we need it."
"Where'd you get the money?"
"It's on loan from the Hogwarts Trust. I figured he sapped me of my assets, why not take some of his." Buffy smiled and Willow took out her wand. Before any of them knew it they were behind a bush in the hotel parking lot.
"Good on you, Wills." Buffy congratulated her, well aware that she could've just splinted them all into oblivion.
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Tru and Willow were already asleep as soon as they'd changed into some of the pajama's that Buffy had brought with her. Not having the heart to wake them from their slumber as they stretched themselves luxuriously in the one bed room, she crept her way over to Draco's in high hopes of him not being in a catatonic state just yet. As she knocked on the door and found herself being greeted by a 'come in' she found herself victorious in her quest for a place to sleep. Besides, Tru was snoring. Big time.
"Howdy." she said, trying not to notice the fact that he was only dressed in a pair of boxers. His hair was a messy, dirty blonde looking color in the faded light. There was something almost handsome about it. He seemed older, more muscular. It took Buffy only a second to trace the curves of his abdomen, and her face grew red hot as she looked away at his questioning glance. He'd caught her checking him out.
Something caught a hold of Draco then. Buffy had been looking him over, much like he'd done over the course of the year. But why? Was she attracted to him? Was she looking for comfort and going for the first male to come into view? Was she considering him?
"What are you doing here?" he asked, more hopeful than anything else. He told his emotions to bend back into place, but the hair on his arms stayed in their standing straight positions.
"Tru and Will took over the bed as soon as possible. I was wondering if I could stay here." she added puppy eyes to her request and his stomach flopped so dramatically that he wondered whether or not she'd seen it move.
"Fine with me." he spoke coolly, not knowing why. He had nothing to hide. She knew how he felt.
"Good then." Draco looked at her crookedly. She must have been tired and yet
she was still standing awkwardly on the other side of the room. Deciding to climb in first,
he flipped back the covers so that she could get in easier. She made her way over,
crawling in and then placing an arm around his waist, using his body for warmth. Heat
crept slowly up his body, and he nearly choked on what he was feeling. He wanted so
badly to kiss her, to make love to her, to make her feel the same way he felt when he
looked at her.
Draco was staring so intently at Buffy's hair that he was slightly shocked when she turned her head up and met his gaze. He delved deep into her pale brown eyes that held such fire. A fire that he'd yearned for ever since he'd first looked at her in Diagon Alley that long, long time ago. Minutes passed as he watched her, her golden locks and pale skin and curiously flat nose. When she spoke he realized how much he'd moved his head down, his lips merely inches away from hers for the third time that year.
"Are you going to kiss me?" her voice was heavy with something he couldn't put his finger on. But even though he wasn't sure about the reaction, he nodded and closed the distance between them. Her lips were soft and he melted into them easily while he leaned over her. Buffy's hands were soon entangled in his hair, and she opened her mouth to allow him in. Merlin, she felt so good. It was like a dream, one that you fell into heart pounding and when you woke up it left you wanting to close your eyes fearing you'd never feel so alive again. But this was no dream. She was there and kissing him and... he broke the kiss.
"We need to stop." he was stern, not requesting but ordering. She groaned.
"Why? I thought this was what you wanted."
"It is, but not like this. You want comfort. I get it, but if you're looking for some guy to fill whatever Harry ripped out, I'm not him. When I say I want you, I mean I want all of you. And you can't give me that right now. You still love him, Buffy." tears were welling up in her eyes as he gave his small speech, and he kissed her forehead.
"Go to sleep, Princess." he watched her close her eyes and wrapped his arms around her, knowing that that was most likely the last kiss he'd ever get from her. Harry would turn up eventually to take her away and she would happily follow. He would lose her to him again, but at least Harry would make her happy. She deserved that much. Well, she deserved his heart and soul without question, but that was out of Draco's hands.
"I love you." he whispered and closed his eyes, falling asleep instantly. So quickly,
in fact, that he didn't catch her confession.
"And I've always loved you." Buffy stared into oblivion. Harry had been right. They hadn't been in love. Love had been out of their reach. But Draco. He'd always loved her in the months he'd known her, and silently in her heart she'd grown fond of him. She'd gone to him for comfort. She must have been stupid not to have seen it before. Harry's future lead to fame and glory, and while they were together all she'd think of was how quiet of a life they'd lead. Her Harry was a dream. A fantasy she'd made up because he was too nice to let go. But Draco was her inspiration, she realized. He was the one.
Buffy almost laughed. All of the hours and days she'd wasted thinking that she
was making the right decision, talking herself out of letting herself get closer to the
Slytherin Prince. Pointless kisses that lead nowhere. At first they were filled with passion,
but lately they'd been dull. As if she was craving something else. She should have known
then and there that something was off. Craving attention and inappropriate comments on
your fancy dress from your best friend wasn't normal. No, she'd blinded herself. But not
anymore
Kissing him softly enough not to wake him, she made a promise to herself that she'd make it up to him. She'd tell him how she felt with as much warmth and grace as he had, and all she had to do was wait for the perfect moment.
AN: Ooh. Buffy and Draco fluff. Sorry this update took so long, next one will come sooner, promise. Also can anyone tell me how to post pictures on the Twisting The Hellmouth website? I got really bored last night with an actually hot pic of the guy who plays Harry Potter in the movies and created a work of art for my new story. Yes, I'm making a new one guaranteed to be a best seller if yawl are interested. Deleting my other stories. They're terrible, I'll admit it. Review please! Love ya!
