9.

At lunch time, I thanked my lucky stars that Ranger had not come into the office yet. I debated skipping lunch and got as far as about 12:30 before I had to eat something.

The office was pretty much empty this time of the afternoon. There were only two men left in the office, Tank and Bobby, and the rest were off doing fieldwork. I tiptoed over to the refrigerator and made a sandwich and was walking back when I overheard Tank's conversation.

"…Cool boss, meet you back here in fifteen."

Uh-oh. I really was not ready to deal with Ranger so I hustled over to my desk and grabbed my purse. I hurried through the office, sandwich in hand, and called out to the guys "I forgot, I had an appointment this afternoon. Got to run!"

I hopped in my car and drove around for a while before I found myself in the mall parking lot. Shopping is good for the soul, I thought to myself as I planned the path I would take through the mall.

Four hours, two big soft pretzels, and about a half-dozen credit card transactions later, I was back in my car and headed back to my apartment.

In the elevator, I was debating whether to make some Easy Mac or microwave popcorn for dinner. It turns out I didn't have to decide, however. There was a big, cheesy Pino's pizza sitting by my door, attached to a familiar vice cop.

"Hey Cupcake." Joe was sitting with his back to the wall and his legs stretched out in front of him. How he managed to sit alone with a pizza and not dig in was beyond me.

"Long time no see, Joe." I took a moment to study him. "You look good." Good was an understatement, really. He looked like walking sex with a badge. His hair was effectively tousled and his dark eyes looked happy to see me. I hadn't seen him in a few months. We were taking a break after Joe went into one of his Italian cop, jealous boyfriend tantrums. I still saw him around the Burg, but we hadn't been intimate in a while.

I opened the door for him and grabbed some paper towels and a couple of beers while Joe placed the pizza on the coffee table and turned the television on.

We scarfed down the pizza in silence, and when we were done, we relaxed into the sofa.

"The place looks different." Joe had just now noticed that I had done some redecorating. The salary at Rangeman was pretty decent and now I could afford furniture that matched. I had gone with a sort of post modern style, no flowers but still feminine. I had so far replaced the sofa, loveseat, and kitchen table.

"I was going for that post-dorm room, pre-housewife look" I mused. I thought I would probably keep this look for a while though, on account of I never wanted to be a housewife.

Joe scooted closer to me on the couch and put his arm around my shoulder. His eyes turned into chocolate puddles that made me want to melt. "I've missed you."

I opened my mouth to reply, but he kissed me before I could get any words out. I'd missed him, too and his kiss only reminded me of that more. He was a great kisser. His kiss could make me forget about everything else in my life. When he finally pulled his lips away, I managed to squeak out "I've missed you, too." I put my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. It felt really good to be held.

We sat like that for what seemed like an eternity before I lifted my head back up and kissed him again. He hesitated at first, but then returned the kiss with an even greater passion. His hand touched my hair, and then slid down my neck. He was slowly making his way to my breast when his hand brushed over the Rangeman embroidery on my uniform. He pulled away and let out a deep sigh.

"This isn't going to work, Stephanie." What? My brain screamed. My body was aching for him, it had been months.

I sat there dumbfounded. This should be written in the history books, the day Joe Morelli refused sex.

I moved away from him on the couch a little and turned so that my body was facing towards him. He was staring at the wall "I can't do this anymore."

I was in shock. Usually, we broke up, had sex, got back together, had sex, and then broke up again. Joe wasn't just talking about an off again stage of a relationship. He was talking about a permanent arrangement.

"What are you talking about?" I still felt the need to ask, but I knew what he meant.

"Us. This. Everything. I'm tired of waiting for you to grow up."

This last statement got me a little perturbed, blame my Italian genes. "Grow up? Just because I don't want to pop out a bunch of babies and cook dinner every night doesn't mean that I'm not mature."

Joe was off the couch now, looking like he was ready to yell. "Christ, Stephanie, look at you! You run around all day, dodging bullets and blowing things up. One of your best friends is a retired whore and you're roommates with a hamster. And I won't even mention your relationship with your boss."

Now I was up and off the couch and in his face. The comment about Rex was just going too far. "First of all, nothing has blown up in months and I haven't been shot at either." Well, maybe once accidentally by Lula, but I'm not going to count that. "And at least my friends aren't a bunch of Neanderthals who have burping contests and drool over classic cars. And lastly, my relationship with Ranger is strictly professional." Well, most of the time anyway.

Joe scoffed when I mentioned Ranger. "That's what this is all about isn't it? You can't stand me working with Ranger. Well I've got news for you. I can work for whoever I want and I'm not going to marry someone who thinks otherwise."

"So that's the way you want it then?" Joe was yelling now.

"No, Joe. That's the way you want it." I yelled back.

He thought about that for a moment before continuing. He calmed down enough that he wasn't yelling anymore. "I can't do this anymore. You drive me crazy, you know. If I go now, it's permanent. I love you Steph, but I have to move on." He waited for a response for me, but there was none. I didn't know what to say. I did love him, but I know I wasn't ready for kids and marriage and the whole shebang.

I think he wanted me to ask him to stay, because when I didn't reply I could see the hurt in his eyes. He gave me a kiss and a long hug and left without saying another word.