: Perfect World :
Gensomaden Saiyuki
Disclaimer: I don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.
Rating: T
Pairings: Homura/Goku, Hakkai/Gojyo, mentioned past Homura/Rinrei and Gonou/Kanan
Warnings: AU-ish, angst, language, shounen ai, mild violence, abuse
Notes: Thanks for all the feedback thus far. We're nearing the end slowly but gradually, and I'm just grateful to all those who stuck it out with this story, even with my shaky updating recently. You guys rock.
Constructive criticism and feedback is appreciated.
Chapter Thirty
"Mother..."
Terror trilled through Hakkai's chest. The simple utterance had been choked with so much emotion; fear, agony, desperation, love. The last was the weakest, but still apparent. Hakkai could only conclude that Gojyo was seeing his stepmother-- who, from what little the man knew about his companion's past, was supposedly dead.
He could sense no physical body; there was only magic, shimmering and swelling and hovering. Hakkai realized he would be unable to attack her.
"Gojyo."
The whisper had come from him, but at the very same moment a female's voice had murmured the name as well. It was a haunting tone, the kind that one would expect a lost soul to use. Though he knew little to nothing of Gojyo's stepmother, Hakkai had the unshakable, sickening feeling that what she was about to do would be unpleasant-- whether or not he could see it.
And perhaps he knew that because of the sudden, frightening aggrandizement of Gojyo's fear. Even at their distance (which he had to estimate by sound alone, and still in his weakened state he could tell it was fairly far) Hakkai could hear the man's heavy, nervous breathing. A footstep echoed, then another, and another, each slower than the last as he could sense Gojyo slowly backing up. The man was moving toward him, toward the door, toward the only escape route he knew, but he stopped after those three steps.
Hakkai realized why. The despair had paralyzed him.
"Gojyo," the deep, womanly voice murmured. An icy chill ran down Hakkai's back.
Without warning, there was a sudden meaty sound of metal hitting flesh. When Gojyo cried out, Hakkai was horrified to realize that, while impalpable, Gojyo's mother was still capable of harming them. Or perhaps, just in harming her "damned" son.
"Mother, don't..." The childish plea in the half-breed's voice tore at Hakkai's emotions. He winced, feeling himself begin to shake against the doorframe. It was terrible to realize there was nothing he could do; he was too drained to harm her. Even if he could, and even if he was sure he could cause her pain, his muscles refused to move.
It was as though his brain insisted he listen to each cry Gojyo made. He hadn't suffered enough in his life; no. As he had been forced to watch Kanan commit suicide, now he had to listen to the one person he'd let himself even begin to open up to be beaten to death.
"Gojyo," he protested, trying to raise his voice over the woman's ghostly sobs and Gojyo's emissions of pain. "Gojyo, she's not real. I can't sense her living at all!"
His words must have gotten through, because instead of metal hitting flesh again, it now hit rock. Either she had missed, or Gojyo had finally mustered the strength to dodge her beating. Hakkai hoped it was the latter.
"What did you say?" Gojyo said breathlessly.
"Didn't you once tell me she died?" Hakkai asked. He had never been told how she'd been killed, or why, or who had done it. Gojyo hadn't pried into his business with Kanan, and likewise Hakkai had respected his privacy. When he finally told Gojyo about Kanan, their incestuous relationship, their love, her suicide, it had been because he had felt comfortable enough. And by then, he had trusted Gojyo.
As though thinking the same thing, Gojyo grunted an affirmative. There was a scuffling sound indicating he had to dodge again, and a loud sweep as something heavy but thin was swung.
"So," Gojyo growled. "Just an illusion. In that case, you can--"
But before he could tell the ghostly woman what she could do, the man's voice cut off into a strangled gasp. The sound wasn't forced; she wasn't choking him. Rather, it was as though he had just seen something horrible.
There was another terrible sound that jerked at Hakkai's chest, and that was the sound of sobbing. For a wild moment he thought it might be Gojyo, but almost immediately realized that it couldn't be. Even in a situation as bad as this, Gojyo wouldn't cry-- at least, not if Hakkai was present. He had too much pride for that.
It was his stepmother. Or rather, the illusion of her. She was crying, and somehow Hakkai knew it was the same sobbing that haunted Gojyo's dreams at night.
The beating sounds began again and Hakkai felt like screaming in frustration. The air was filled with mass confusion, every particle pulled into tight coils of dread and pain and hopelessness and the frantic hope for death. Hakkai was sweating, and he hadn't moved an inch. His body continued to shake, his shoulders knocking against the wood beside him. He wanted to do something, anything, to get that woman off Gojyo and ease the bombard of negative emotions slamming into him from every which direction.
Somewhere amidst the turmoil he felt new presences. They were familiar and yet not, as though he had sensed them before, but not long enough to really get to know them.
When the sudden sharp voice rang out, he could place them instantly.
"Do I have to save you again, Gojyo?"
-
At the sound of Homura's voice, Goku nearly ran forward. The man shot him a quick glance that made him stop even before he'd moved; reluctantly, he stayed put.
To his left, Sanzo sneered. "Whatever happened to Konzen?"
"I'll call you whatever you wish," Homura said silkily, clearly amused. He walked down the short flight of steps from the throne to the floor, stopping when he was at their level. "I have a proposal. A deal, you might say."
"And what makes you think I'd be interested?" Sanzo returned.
Goku took a deep breath, clenching his fists as he tried to calm his nerves. He had to remind himself that it was all right; Homura knew what he was doing, he was handling things just fine, nothing was going to go wrong...
"Because it involves the return of your scripture," Homura said easily. "I no longer require its use. You may have it."
What was he doing? Goku stared at the man, puzzled. Why would they go through so much trouble just to give the scriptures back? They'd only had it a short while.
"So what's the catch?" Sanzo asked skeptically.
"It's not so much of a catch as it is an exchange," Homura replied. He regarded the blonde with an intense look, though he seemed uninterested in the man. It was a strange expression, and Goku began to squirm. He wished Homura would at least glance his way.
"And?"
Homura smirked. "Just return what's mine."
Goku was at a complete loss. What the hell's he getting at? he wondered, grimacing as the muscles in his chest pulled taut. Anxiety was gnawing restlessly at him now.
But while he was confused, Sanzo seemed to understand. His violet eyes widened a bare noticeable fraction, and he sharply looked over at the boy. Goku stared back, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to make out what the man was thinking. Sanzo said nothing, his lips compressing into a thin white line.
He finally turned back to Homura. "He's not mine to give," he stated flatly.
"Huh?" Goku blinked, looking back and forth between them. "Homura... what are you--"
"You may be oblivious," Homura cut in. His voice didn't grow any louder, but there was an edge to it, sharp enough to cut Goku off in mid-sentence. "Both of you, really. But I am not." The tension in his expression eased as he fell back into one of his trademark smirks. "And even if you don't understand what I mean, Konzen, think of it this way: as soon as you departed from your other companions, you came into contact with Goku. You followed him all the way up here-- or perhaps he followed you. Either is likely, really."
"Get to the point," Sanzo growled impatiently.
Privately, Goku wished Homura wouldn't. The bad feeling was so horrible, he was beginning to think he was sick.
"I am merely making everything easier on you," Homura said patiently. "It never occurred to you that you could have used my lover against me in order to get your scriptures back?"
"Homura!" Goku blushed hotly, though he wasn't sure why Homura's blunt statement was so embarrassing. Perhaps it was because, up until this point, he had managed to keep their real relationship something of a secret from Sanzo. Why this was important, he didn't know, but it was.
Sanzo's eyebrow twitched. "Just take him."
"It has to be an exchange," Homura sighed. "Please make this civilized, Konzen."
The longer their banter continued, the tenser the atmosphere became. Not just between Sanzo and Homura, but around Goku in general. This went beyond discomfort. Homura was behaving strangely, even for him.
"Homura," he cut in quickly before Sanzo could retort. "You're acting weird. Can't we just give it to him and go?" He began to walk forward, and that was where things went horribly wrong.
Narrowing his eyes, Homura moved faster than Goku could comprehend. He was standing before the boy within half a second, leaving Goku blinking in surprise. Blue and gold pierced into him, hardened into something close to anger. It couldn't be hatred; Goku refused to believe that.
"It is time," Homura started, his voice deadly quiet. "Time for you to learn what this is all for, and what the consequences will be. Understand that no matter how much you may end up opposing this, you have blindly helped me get this far. For that, I thank you."
Goku stared at the man helplessly. "Homura, what--"
"Quiet," Homura ordered. His voice was sharp, cutting the boy off effectively. Stunned, Goku took a step back; the god let him. "Now listen to me. You too, Konzen, if you wish to learn exactly what purpose the Seiten and Maten scriptures served."
"Seiten..." Sanzo whispered faintly behind Goku. The boy hardly heard it. He couldn't stop staring at Homura.
Likewise, the man ignored Sanzo's murmur. "In order to create a new world, several things are needed. The key element is power. Power from the scriptures. Power from Zenon, Shien, and myself. Power from everything around us, from the center of the earth-- and from the earth's child. In other words, Goku, power from you."
"But I'm not--"
Rather than speak, Homura clamped a hand over the boy's mouth. Goku cringed; his grip hurt. But he shut up, preferring silence over risking his lover's wrath.
"You are the child of the earth," the man said firmly. "Seiten Taisei Son Goku, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven. Once you lived in the heavens, and it was there you committed the crime that caused you to be imprisoned in the cave."
He went on to say more, but that was where Goku ceased to listen. He stared at the man, fear overriding his disbelief. The heavens? The very same place Homura despised? Goku couldn't remember anything resembling the heavens, though that didn't say much for an amnesiac. But he couldn't have been there, simply couldn't have, because he didn't want to have anything to do with the gods his lover hated.
Seeming to mistake his blank expression for something else, Homura sighed. "Perhaps I ought to explain it in terms you will understand." Goku opened his mouth to protest, to tell him that he hadn't been listening, not that he didn't comprehend the man's words, but Homura spoke before he could get a word in edgewise. "Think of this world as a complex dish. Perhaps a stir fry, or dim sum. Either way, you have several ingredients that must be observed well, cooked right, and you must keep practicing lest you lose your skills. More than likely, your first attempt will be a failure-- or at least, not what you expected.
"Now, think of this world as that first attempt at making the dish. The meat was added to late, and is too raw to be edible. The vegetables were added too soon, and are now too burnt to even taste decent. Too much sauce was added, and now the contents swim in a sea of bitter salt. When you bite into it, all you taste is a vile, wet charcoal mixture."
Here the man paused, seeming to contemplate his next words. "What I'm going to do is start over fresh. Unlike the gods in the heavens, I know which ingredient to leave out-- or rather, which tool. Perhaps the first attempt at creating Heaven and Earth was a failure because the chef was foolish in having an assistant." His eyes narrowed, but he was no longer looking directly at Goku. Instead, he seemed to be focusing on something only he could see in his mind. "The gods are the ones who added the meat too late and didn't give it proper time to cook, who tossed in perfectly good vegetables too early only to burn them, who threw in as much sauce as possible to make up for their past mistakes. The gods are the only ones making this world imperfect. But they cannot be rid of in this world. Thus, we need a new world."
Goku's blood ran cold at the explanation. Homura had made his point clear, at least in his eyes; if there was one thing the boy understood, it was the concept of food and taste. Of all the comparisons to make, Homura's had been nearly flawless-- in explanation. What he was suggesting didn't bode well with him.
"A totally new world?" he asked uncertainly. "I mean... I knew you'd be making one... but... you're throwing away the old world in order to do it?"
"Essentially," Homura agreed.
Goku shifted uncomfortably. "I... I thought... that there'd be both worlds, side by side. So we could go back and forth..."
The man sighed. "Don't be foolish. The creation of the new world has already begun. The gods are alert. At this point, they will do whatever is in their power to stop the process. They know the threat; realize the threat. Even if the worlds could somehow share the earth's energy and coexist, the gods would be vehemently against it." A wry smile curved his lips. "Either that, or they would take over that world as well. If it exists, and it is not theirs, they will make it so. Anything that they cannot control in even the slightest, they fear."
"It's not like we expect you to get it," Zenon said, abruptly reminding Goku that other people were present. "We've been alive centuries longer than even you, kid. We've been watching. I think we'd know what's best."
It was then Goku's heart sank. If even Zenon was all for this, unconditionally for this world's destruction, then he had absolutely no one he knew to turn to. Shien was out of the question; they never had gotten along well. Homura was obviously set in his ways, and now Zenon -- the man Goku had finally come to accept as a surrogate brother -- had just proven that Goku was entirely alone in his thoughts: that this new world overtaking the old one was definitely not a good idea.
"Really," Sanzo said from behind the boy, his voice laden with sarcasm. "Basically what you're saying is, your gods have a superiority complex, yet you're better than them? I don't see how that makes you any different."
Zenon's vehement reaction visibly startled even Homura. "Don't you even try lumping us in with those bastards," the man growled, starting forward. He might have done some damage, had Shien not quickly placed a hand on his companion's shoulder. Perhaps he had foreseen irreversible damage Zenon couldn't, for the gunman fell back only with the greatest of reluctance.
Acting as though the small interruption had never taken place, Homura fixed his gaze on Goku again. "You are the vital tool in this cause. As a child of the earth, you are the one who possesses the powers needed to create the new world to overtake this one. Through you, I can siphon the earth's energy."
Goku shook his head furiously. Everything was moving too fast suddenly; much too fast. "Can't we just... at least make the new world and bring some good stuff into it?"
Homura sighed. "You're missing the point. This world is damaged beyond repair."
"But you can't just get rid of it," the boy protested loudly. He was dimly aware his voice was rapidly growing high-pitched, but couldn't take the time to calm down. "There are lots of good things in this world, too!"
"You only say that because of your relationship with Konzen," his lover said quietly.
The blood drained from Goku's face. He looked over his shoulder at Sanzo, unsure of how to react to that. He didn't want to admit Homura was right, but... in truth, he was. Or at least, he was partially correct. Sanzo was one of the many things Goku liked about the world he lived in now.
"It's... not just that," he said shakily. "There's... there're some good people. And really good food, and lots of neat places." He remembered Mariko as he said that; recalled her sarcastic and biting demeanor. He also remembered the kind actions that betrayed her, painting her in a gentler light Goku wouldn't have thought of if he remembered her words alone.
The memory of several restaurants he had eaten breakfast, lunch, and dinner at with his companions flashed by then. In an instant he could smell every delicious aroma that had ever touched his senses.
He had traveled the continent in his three years with Homura, partly for the sake of training, mostly because the man had been determined to find Rinrei's grave. There had been times Goku had been absolutely bored out of his mind, and times he had wished he had been anywhere but where he was. Now, though, he could look back and say that little had been wasted.
Lamely, he finished. "I like this world, Homura."
The ebon-haired man closed his eyes briefly, as though tired. Slowly, he said, "I only released you from the cave so I could use that power of yours." The comment stung, though not as much as the exasperated tone he used. Goku flinched. "You will either give me that power, or I will force it from you."
The last cold statement sparked what nothing else so far had: anger. Goku took a step back, though not out of fear. "Now wait just a--"
"Either come with me now," Homura said sharply, cutting the boy off before he could protest properly. "Or go with Konzen. I will have that power either way. The method in which I have to obtain it is up to you."
This was stupid. This was absolutely insane. Goku didn't want to believe it was happening, and yet he knew this was something he couldn't escape. He glanced away from Homura and to Zenon. The gunman didn't meet his gaze, looking determinedly at the wall; he was with Homura on this, but couldn't bring himself to look the boy in the eye. Reluctantly, Goku turned to Shien. The god said nothing, his lips compressed. For once his expression was readable, and had the man chosen to speak, Goku knew he would have said exactly what was on his mind.
"I told you before. You are not one of us."
Now he finally understood why he had felt like an outsider this entire time. It was because, somewhere deep in his subconscious, he had realized that whatever Homura was up to, he wouldn't approve. In the one thing that really mattered, the core reason for everything Homura had done for the past few years -- maybe even few centuries -- Goku was, had always been, on the opposite side of the severed bridge.
A sudden flapping sound brought him back to the present, and the weight of something on his shoulder made Goku start. He blinked and turned his head, surprised to see the white dragon perched on him. Beady red eyes stared back, and a squeaky "Kyuu," escaped the animal. The tiny head nudged his ear, as though urging him to make a choice.
Strangely enough, that was all he needed to make his decision.
With a scowl, Goku regarded Homura with both dread and determination. "Then you're just gonna have to force it out of me, because I ain't helping you anymore."
