Chapter 8 – Home Truths Hit You Where It Hurts.
She couldn't believe it. He had told her the one thing that she had dreamed of hearing for five years and then just walked away. He'd walked out of the door with Spike and Darla of all people. He hadn't even given her a chance to react. He'd just left. She wanted to go after him and tell him that they could be together now. No Darla or Riley, just them. But she didn't know where he'd gone and she wanted to talk to him in private. Her head was in a total spin. She had been so convinced that what they were going to be told was bad. That Angel was dying or that the world was going to end. Instead, she was given her hearts desire. Her one true love was free of all the curses that had kept them apart.
Her one true love. They had been apart for almost two years and yet she was still as convinced, no more convinced than ever, that they were destined to be. This was proof. He was allowed to be a human so he could be with her. Sure she loved Riley in a way. But it was Angel. She'd known the minute she saw him standing on the balcony. Her heart had stopped and then started beating frantically. She was glad that she had been sitting down, as the jelly legs that seeing him had brought about would have meant that she'd have ended up on the floor. He was still so heartbreakingly beautiful. His dark silky hair seemed longer than before, his chocolate eyes were warmer and deeper and she felt herself falling. The clothes seemed different, but they made him look better than ever. He was wearing black combat pants and a long sleeved cream top that really made him look like an angel. The fact that he was in something other than black and that the clothes seemed so stylish surprised her for a second but then she remembered that he'd always dressed well. She supposed that she had been around Xander for far too long. She watched the way that he came down the stairs. He moved so fluidly, no effort but each movement calculated and so regal. The simple act of walking down the stairs was like a dance, so graceful and beautiful. Buffy had felt like she was underwater. She was aware of others talking but Angel was smiling and that was all she could focus upon. She had to talk to him.
Now he was gone. He had seemed so hurt when he left – stupid Riley. All she wanted was for him to come back and talk to her. To realise that he had left her behind and come back to apologise. She could understand that he wouldn't want to talk to Riley, that there was no love lost between Angel and Xander and Giles but this was her – the love of his life. It didn't make sense. She was aware of the fact that everyone around her was talking but she couldn't focus on them, all she could think about was Angel. It was Willow's voice that broke through her reverie.
"Buffy? Are you ok?"
Buffy didn't trust herself to speak; all she could do was nod.
"Sweetie… Do you want something? A drink?"
"Willow… I think that w…we should leave her for a…a bit. Buffy, maybe you should have a lie down. I… I think you're in shock."
"Well why wouldn't she be? Deadboy is no longer Deadboy! I mean what am I going to call him now? Boy?"
"Not helping Xander! Tara's right Buffy. You should go and lie down. Can I get you anything?"
"No Will, I'm just gonna… go… umm…"
Buffy didn't bother attempting to finish her statement. Slowly she walked across the lobby; picked up her bag and made her way up the stairs. She took the first bedroom that she found. It was light and airy having been painted a light blue and all the bedding and the furnishings were in white and dark blue. The furniture was light pine and there was a large comfy chair by the windows. She dumped her bag on the floor and grabbed her wash kit. Going into the en-suite she filled the sink and washed her face. Feeling a wave of exhaustion overcome her she went and lay on the bed.
Ten minutes later, and despite her fatigue, there were too many thoughts in her brain. She got up and left the room. She explored the floor that she was on and then, following a feeling she went up the stairs at the end of the corridor. Following her instincts she found herself outside room 312. She pushed the door open and went inside. The presence of Angel washed over her and she looked around his room. It was so suited to him. There were no windows, but a set of French doors that opened onto a balcony. She could picture him standing on there, wind ruffling his hair as he stared out at the LA skyline. The walls were painted a deep purple, the furniture was all beautifully made and there were gorgeous paintings on the walls. It seemed a mix of old and new but always classic. There was never anything showy or gaudy about Angel. A bookcase of classic novels stood on one wall, there was a stereo system and classical and old CDs next to the book shelf. There was an exquisite crystal decanter and glass set on a small old table. Buffy poured herself a drink and wandered through to the bedroom. The bed was large and covered in soft cotton sheets. The dark comforter was crumpled as if someone had been sitting or lying on it earlier.
She lay down on the bed, pulling the comforter around her and she inhaled a deep breath. It felt so good to be surrounded by the smell of Angel. She pictured herself waking up, curled round his body as she should have been able to on her 17th birthday. Toeing off her boots she settled down, finally relaxing, she fell asleep.
Everyone watched as Buffy left the lobby in a state of shock. As soon as she had gone, the conversation started up again.
"Well, 'no longer Deadboy' really knows how to make an announcement."
"Giles, is that possible? Well of course it's possible because Angel said it's happened and we all saw Darla but… how?"
"I have to say that I am as much in the dark as you are here Willow." Giles removed his glasses and began to clean them absent-mindedly. He always found the exercise soothing, and he really needed to calm down now. The scotch had just wound him up further. "As far as I'm aware Willow there is no precedent for this. Once a vampire is dust they cannot be brought back."
"But what about that time they took you and Willow and tried to bring back the Master guy? Do you think that this is a family trait?"
"I believe that the Master is an anomaly due to his age and status. He left behind a physical reminder that he had walked the earth. Darla left no such reminder. To be quite frank I am worried about this law firm. If they have the kind of resources and power then the pose a serious threat."
"Evil lawyers? Would've thunk it? Only in LA."
"Oh Wolfram and Hart have been around forever, before man kind. They go all the way back to the first demons – the Old Ones. Their main goal is the Apocalypse."
"How do you know this Anya?"
"Oh most demons are aware of Wolfram and Hart. They provide a way into this world for them. They deal in everything from legal issues to magic. Being a vengeance demon they called on me a few times over the years."
"And are they a threat?"
"Only if you get in their way or they want something from you."
"So Angel could be in trouble? Not that I care, but I'd rather not be staying in the line of fire."
"Xander! That's unfair! He's our friend, our newly human friend. God this is huge!"
Tara had been listening to the conversation and realised that none of them had really contemplated the actual issues behind what had happened. "How do you think that Angel's coping?" Tara always seemed to command everyone's attention when she spoke, as what she said was usually very astute and profound. This simple comment was no exception.
"What do you mean Tara? Deadboy's just hit the jackpot! I'm sure that he's doing swell – especially now that he has Darla back as his playmate. Frankly, I couldn't give a damn about how he's doing – it's Buffy we should be worried about."
"You're wrong Xander. Not about the looking after Buffy part because of course she's going to find this upsetting. But Angel has just had his entire life turned upside down."
"Xander remember how hard it was for me. Angel lived most of his life as a vampire – I doubt that he remembers what it was like to be human. I didn't. And if he does? Times are very different now."
"You're different though Ahn, you lived much longer than he did. And you never wanted that life."
"I am not different Xander Harris! Wake up and stop acting like an idiot! Being a vampire is further from being a human than a vengeance demon is. At least we still eat and move through the day. He has to learn a totally new way of life! And one more thing – I chose to be a demon. D'Hoffren offered and I accepted. Angel probably got little choice in his turning. When a vampire chooses a childe they don't tend to ask for the humans permission. What I didn't choose is to be a human again! I enjoyed being a demon. You have no idea how hard it is to fit into your world. The only person I can stand is Spike because he doesn't look down on me or treat me like a fool when I don't understand. You all just laugh. Well I'm sick of it!"
"I can't believe that you are sticking up for him Anya! Do you have any idea of what he was? He was a monster! He tried to kill all of us and drive Buffy mad."
"I killed Xander. I was just as bad – if not worse." With that, Anya grabbed her bag and headed for the stairs. "Oh, and if you think that I am going to be giving you orgasms, knowing that you hate ex-demons, you can think again Xander Harris!" She proceeded to stomp up the stairs without a backward glance.
"What was that about?"
"Well, umm, you have to see it from her point of view. The same thing happened to her that happened to Angel and hearing you attack him like that must make her feel uncomfortable." Willow ran her hand up his arm in a soothing manner trying to ease the tension that she saw in her best friend.
"It's not just that. You guys are a really tight group and it's hard to get into that. Anya feels alienated because she was a demon and she feels left out because she doesn't have a past with you guys. You're her only human connection and it must scare her. You don't know what it's like to be on the outside and knowing that you'll never really be part of the group. I get that."
"Tara, Baby, we don't leave you out…" Willow was horrified that her girlfriend felt so abandoned.
"You may not mean to, but there is a part of you guys that we can't touch. No matter how much you love us." Tara offered Willow an apologetic smile, willing her to understand and accept what she was saying. "I'm going to put my bag in our room and check on Anya."
Tara quietly left the lobby. Behind her were three rather chastened Scoobies who had never considered any of the issues that had been forcefully pointed out to them. So lost in their reverie, they failed to notice a very angry Riley Finn leave the hotel looking for something to kill.
Buffy woke a few hours later feeling refreshed. However, she was still as confused as ever. Deciding that a bath and a change of clothes were in order she headed back down to her room. She was relieved to find that Riley had not put his bags in there and that he was nowhere to be seen. Whilst luxuriating in the bubbles she came to a decision. Angel was coming back with her to Sunnydale. They belonged together and when he got a little distance from LA and this hotel he'd see that. Darla and Cordelia Chase were not going to stop her getting her man back! She'd be sorry to say goodbye to Riley, and hoped that they could stay friends, but she wanted Angel and he wanted her. He was just a little thrown by the whole thing and was worried about putting any pressure on her.
Feeling better about everything and with pictures of a church and white dress and a little girl with golden ringlets, she lifted herself from the tub. She selected her brand new dark brown leather pants and a cream top with a plunging neck line, knowing that they made her look good. Also they were casual enough to pass off as 'just clothes'. Putting the finishing touches to her make up and brushing her hair she headed back downstairs. Buffy could see Giles through the office window; he was sat in the leather armchair studying an old book with a pot of tea on the desk. Willow, Tara and Xander were playing cards and sharing a jumbo sized bag of popcorn. Anya was sat apart from the group flicking through a magazine. There seemed to be an atmosphere between the four but she brushed it off. Feeling her confidence swell at the fact that she and Angel were getting back together, she threw herself onto the sofa.
"Whatca doin?"
"Xander is attempting to teach us how to play poker. Thing is – he doesn't remember how to himself."
"I resent that comment Willow. Ok so I can't recall the exact scoring system but…"
"Give it up Xan, you aren't the poker playing man. But we still love you."
"Humph!" Anya refused to look up from her magazine but the glare was implicit.
"Ok what'd I miss?" Seeing that no information was forthcoming Buffy decided to switch tracks. "So…Go Fish?"
They were into their tenth hand and Willow's seventh win when the doors to the Hyperion opened. A somewhat bruised and slightly inebriated Riley walked through them and wandered over to the group. He placed a loving kiss on Buffy's head and then looked down at himself. "I am just going to get showered and changed and then how about we all go grab something to eat."
"Cool. Me want food."
"Glad to see something's haven't changed."
No sooner had Riley disappeared up the stairs then the door opened and in staggered the six people that had walked out on them earlier accompanied by a green skinned, red eyed, red horned demon. Buffy couldn't help the pissed tone and aggressive stance that she took but she was cross. "We need to talk."
Angel really didn't need or want to get into a yelling match with Buffy right now. He was too high on life. That had been the best night that he'd had in a hundred years. He refused to drop his grin and so answered, "We have food. There is pizza, Chinese and Spike insisted on burgers and Buffalo wings. We also have enough chips and dip to feed an army. Oh and this is Lorne." They dumped the food and drinks on the floor and Angel went to the kitchen to grab cutlery and plates. He felt Buffy follow him through and suddenly felt like a trapped animal.
"I said we need to talk."
The problem with trapped animals is that if they are pushed… they usually bite.
"Not now Buffy, lets just go out there and have a nice meal with our friends, ok? We can tackle the awkward questions in the morning."
"The awkward questions? Angel what is wrong with you? Why won't you talk to me? We have just been given the best news of our lives and you want to eat pizza? What the hell is going on?"
"Nothing is going on Buffy, I just want to have a nice evening and relax ok?"
"Is this because of Darla?"
"No Buffy, this has nothing to do with Darla. For once this is about me. I don't want to talk right now. I don't want to argue. So can we please just go and eat?" Angel turned to leave the kitchen.
"You don't get to drop a bombshell like that and just walk away! You owe me more than that. You walked out earlier and now we are going to talk!" Buffy grabbed his elbow and swung him round. Angel had never in his life stood for someone pushing him around. It provoked an unpleasant reaction in him.
"I owe you more than that! How do you figure that one Buffy? Because we dated?"
"We dated! Is that how you see what we had?"
"Yes Buffy, we dated, past tense. You made that abundantly clear when you came and flaunted Riley in my face last year."
"I never flaunted Riley!"
"Remind me, what was it you said? Oh yeah, that you loved him and you trusted him. Apparently something that you never felt for me. So you'll forgive me if my first thought wasn't you Buffy."
Angel grabbed the plates off the worktop and stormed out of the kitchen with Buffy hot on his heels. The others sensed that lives may be lost should they try to intervene and so stayed incredibly quiet.
"So this is about revenge for hurting your feelings? That's pathetic Angel, I never thought that you were so childish."
"Childish? You dare to call me childish? Who was the one that came here in order to kick Faith's ass just because she had messed up part of your perfect little life?"
"She deserved everything that she got!"
"Never mind the fact that she was a scared and troubled girl who had been used that many times that she didn't know who her friends were any more!"
"Don't you dare play the 'innocent Faith' card with me! Don't you dare! She ruined my life and yet all she has to do is bat her large brown eyes, toss her hair and heave her breasts a bit and you're falling over yourself to help her. Is that what happened with Darla too? Or were the memories of bloody fucks just too good to pass up?"
"I'd stop right there Buffy." Angel's voice became low and dangerous. Buffy was seriously out of line.
"Why? Does the truth hurt Angel? What did she offer you? A large fat cheque to oil your hero business or was the payment more in trade? I mean, come on! You are meant to be on a quest for redemption here Angelus! You are meant to be helping the… hopeless was it? Instead you help two serial killers, both of whom are not unattractive, so I have to question your motive's here a little!"
With every insult that they threw at each other Buffy's voice got louder and louder and Angel's got lower and darker. Of the two Angel, despite his mere mortal status seemed at that moment to be the more dangerous of the two. Buffy on the other hand appeared to be a normal girl in an argument with her boyfriend. She was shrieking and gesticulating wildly. She seemed totally out of her mind with jealousy and rage.
Angel was pissed beyond belief. His eyes had darkened to black and he seemed to grow in height. His beautiful features had transformed into a snarl. It was one thing to attack him on his past but it was quite another thing to attack him about what he doing now. Especially in such crude terms. If it was possible, his voice dropped further. It was in the sub-zero temperatures now
"You know nothing about what I do here – nothing! We help people here Buffy. We save souls. Faith and Darla have souls, I had to help them. But you wouldn't understand that. I mean it's a little more complex than beating up on any random demon and firing really terrible puns at it."
"Really? I thought that this was the meeting place of the Sunnydale misfits club. I mean how sad is that! A vampire with a soul, a crap watcher and the bitch that didn't make it as Prom Queen – it's like a bad movie or…"
"Leave Wesley and Cordelia out of this. They are good people and you have no right to judge them. Just because you wouldn't get off your damn pedestal back in Sunnydale and realise that…"
"Oh, so we're protecting Cordelia now are we? Or is that Cordy? I've got to say that I love the little set up that she has going here. She tried to get you back in Sunnydale and now she's moved herself in here."
"You don't even know her anymore Buffy!"
"I don't need to know her to know what she is like. She doesn't care about anything but money and having an attractive guy on her arm. Is she your next damsel in distress? Or perhaps you're lining her up for when you have finished saving Darla and Faith's souls!"
"Well she's a damn sight more attractive than you are right now! In fact, right now you are the last person on earth that I'd touch! I would rather…"
Angel's words were cut off as Buffy finally lost her temper. Forgetting his condition she hit him. Hard.
Angel's body flew back across the room like a rag doll, easily covering the ten feet it was to the stair rails and crashed into the wall. The flight seemed to go in slow motion and no one could do anything about it. Then suddenly everything moved back to real time. There was a sickening crack of bones heard in every corner of the hotel. He slumped to the ground in a boneless heap. Very slowly a small trickle of blood oozing from amongst his hair and started to spread across the polished floor.
"Oh God… Angel!"
