Kungfuchick- I'm freakin jealous of my fictional character!
Knightoftheroundtable- Yay I'm so flattered!
MedeaSmyke- Perhaps! Not for a while though!
Tenshikoneko03- my thoughts exactly!
Everyone else! Thanks for reviewing!
When I woke up the next morning I was sore in places I couldn't really complain to Dagonet or Galina about. I wasn't about to complain though. I sat in my tousled bed and stared at the ceiling for a few moments. There was suddenly a knocking on the door. I quickly pulled on a tunic and straightened the bed before letting him in.
"Morning." He grumbled.
"Don't you look like a blooming rose." I said. He had drank to much the night before and was definitely feeling the outcome.
"Arthur says we're going to patrol the wall." He said and brightened at my own good mood.
"Nothing like blindingly white sunshine for the hangover eh?" He thumped me between the shoulder blades and I quickly dressed myself. I looked at Gawain as we walked to the stables. I chewed on my cheese thoughtfully. Gawain wouldn't think badly of me, nor would he tell anyone, but I still didn't want to tell him. It was my own secret, and Tristan's. If he gave it away, so be it. I tried to ignore how every nerve in my body sang when I entered the stable. Tristan looked up at me for a second before going back to saddling his horse.
"I can't believe I didn't notice how rosy your cheeks were before…" Bors said looking at my apparently rosy cheeks. Galahad smiled.
"That dress has opened our eyes!" Lancelot cried out. My lips twitched. If only they knew.
"Why are you blushing?" Arthur asked as he walked to his horse. I really was about to blush.
"Arthur how long will we be gone?" Tristan asked saving me. I could have kissed him. Actually I really wanted to kiss him. And then I wanted to drag him all the way back to-
"We'll be back tomorrow. We need to make sure the wall to the east is being manned properly." Arthur said as he mounted his horse. We nodded. I personally didn't care if the woads got over the wall. They were Rome's problem, not mine. Not to mention it was rightfully the woads' land. Of course there was no use pointing this out to Arthur. The man had allied himself with Rome at a young age, denying the British blood that ran through his veins.
We were gone three days, not one. I could see Galahad counting down the days, no the hours, until he was free. It had been a pointless, albeit necessary mission. Arthur had made sure a few stretches of the wall would receive more patrolling. There was no battle I thought mournfully. So boring. I made my way to my room when we returned on the third night. Tristan opened his door as I passed and locked eyes with me. He made sure no one was watching before he pulled me into his room. I was relieved that he wanted me again. We had talked as we normally did on the mission which surprised me, and there were no heated glances or stolen kisses. Such things were for lovers in the truer sense. Of course, that was how I wanted it, but it was unsettling to have no hints as to whether he had enjoyed the night and wanted to repeat it or not. His hand fisted through my hair and braids as he kissed me.
"Does Gawain know?" He asked once we were on his bed. I noticed it was more comfortable than my own. I shook my head and threaded my fingers past the hair in his face and kissed him. He dropped his belt and tunic next to the bed as he pulled me under him.
I started to detangle myself from Tristan as he slept. We both liked our own space and I liked having a whole bed to myself. His arms were unrelenting as they held me and I look at his face. Perhaps he wasn't asleep I decided as I found two dark eyes trying to read my face.
"You can stay." He said and closed his eyes. I accepted the offer and slid back closer to him. I had not been looking forward to dressing and trekking to my own room. The halls were cold and I was much warmer in his arms.
"I'm not a good bedmate." I said sleepily as I made myself comfortable. The only people I had ever shared a bed with were Branwain, Galina, Galahad and Gawain and none of them had minded the fact that I sprawled out regardless of who I kicked or shoved. I had a feeling Tristan would not be so generous. Nevertheless I squirmed so that I rested in the circle of his arms and our legs were threaded together. I hated sleeping in a small space and if he wanted me to stay, then he could damn well get used to me spreading out. He only made an annoyed sound and shifted his arm out from under my head.
Something was scratching my cheek. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I realized I was still in Tristan's bed, wrapped in Tristan's arms. I moved my head so that his beard no longer bothered me. He opened one eye. I stretched out and let the warm sunlight that poured through the window swallow me. I was quite content to stay there for the rest of the day. Warm sun, comfortable bed, even warmer man… Mmmm. I kissed him and closed my eyes. He let me stay like that for a few more minutes before kissing me again. Well if he wasn't tired anymore…
"Tristan! Have you seen Isolde?" I heard a voice ask. I swore inwardly and jumped up.
"No. Try the stables." Tristan said loudly to Bors. I was dressed in an instant. After I heard Bors' steps down the hall, I nodded to Tristan and went to my own room. Galina was there waiting for me.
"Where were you?" She asked not really paying attention. She was staring dreamily at the window. It was on the tip of my tongue. It would have been a relief to tell her. She was my oldest friend and she would understand. Or would she? She had dreamed of finding love her whole life and now she believed she had found it. Would she understand why I had accepted Tristan without love? At least not the love she thought proper for such circumstances. He was my friend, but I didn't… It would be impossible to explain to her. I decided all of this in a moment.
"I was with Branwain." I said quietly. That would keep her from asking questions. We never talked about her, and she was not going to ask me why I was visiting Branwain's grave. She did it too.
"Isolde, I…Isolde I'm with child." I looked at her sharply. Lancelot's? My eyes asked. She nodded. I felt panic start to tear away at my stomach. I took a deep breath. Baby… Oh gods I had forgotten about babies. My hand itched to go to my stomach but I kept it by my side. I hadn't taken any measures against pregnancy at all. I could be… I looked back to Galina and straightened up. I would help Galina, and then I would help myself.
"What will you do? Have you told him?" I asked softly.
"I can't tell him. He…Isolde…I don't think he loves me." She said the last part as a half sob and I felt more than ever that I was right about love. Stupid stupid stupid! I was torn between wanting to comfort her or slapping her and saying 'Now you see? Wake up!' It wasn't Lancelot's fault really so I couldn't be angry at him. He was the way he was and Galina knew that. He would not change for just one woman. Against logic though, I pitied Galina. She loved him, that much I could see, but he his lust and love for her was a passing season. I had no doubt he loved her dearly, but not the same way she loved him. It would not be enough for her, the love of a brother. She wanted his body and soul. She wanted him to need her like she needed him. I could not comfort her no matter how much I wanted. I could only sit there and let her take solace from my company. She shuddered violently as she tried to control herself. She coughed savagely and I saw the mixture of black and red on the rag. This child could be the end of her I realized.
"Galina, there are other ways." I said quietly. I couldn't imagine taking the life of a baby, but if it would save her…
"No!" She in a crazed voice. For once she was not so ethereal. Her eyes were feverish as they stared at me. "I will not kill my child."
"Then what is to become of you?" I asked. I would not tell her what to do, but I had to make her think of the future. Arthur would never let a pregnant woman endanger herself in battle.
"We must talk to Arthur. Come." She said and I dared not argue. She walked as a woman who knew what had to be done as we practically ran to Arthur's chambers. She knocked furiously for a moment. Arthur opened the door and looked at her curiously. He let us in and I could see he had been pouring over maps of Britain. A small disk lay on his desk with the likeness of a man molded into it. I was not close enough to read the Roman letters inscribed into it though.
"What troubles you?" He asked for it was obvious something was wrong.
"Arthur-" I could see her courage flailing. I held her hand and squeezed it. She swallowed and took control of her emotions. "Arthur I am going to have a baby."
He looked pained for a moment. He didn't need to ask who the man was.
"What would you have me do?" He asked her earnestly. He would do whatever she asked of him even if it was only out of pity.
"Send me away." She said softly and I looked at her sharply. Away? I looked at Arthur, hoping he would tell her she was mad. To my horror I found him nodding.
"There is British lord to the south…He was my mother's kin. I can send you there if you would like Galina. He and his wife would care for you, and you could send me reports on the south."
"Thank you Arthur." She said and once again she had lost herself in her own world. Arthur looked at me and opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it. I made my face unreadable and pushed away all emotions. It was for the best.
"Have you told Lancelot?" Arthur asked. She shook her head vaguely.
"He doesn't need to know." She said.
"It's his child too!" He objected but she would not relent.
"Arthur can't you see? I can't- It would only ruin things. He would feel responsible for it and… I will do this on my own Arthur." She said and he couldn't argue. Perhaps it was best if Lancelot did not know, at least for a while. It was the easy road.
Lancelot protested furiously when Arthur told the others the next day. He couldn't believe Galina would want to leave. When she looked him in the eye and told him it was fine with her, he was even more upset. I wondered if she was wrong about him. Lancelot would always flirt with other women and leer, but that didn't mean he couldn't love her. That wasn't true I told myself. The thought of losing her was hard on him, not only because he was not quite done with her, but because she was his friend. His fellow knight. She straightened her back as she rode out of the gates with three Romans soldiers as an escort. I was strangely proud of her strength. And just like that, she was gone.
After Galina left, I searched high and low for a young woman who I was told knew herb craft. She had smiled knowingly at me as soon as I entered her home and handed me a thick pouch of dried herbs. I didn't dare ask what was in the bag, and she didn't offer.
"Be careful." She told me as I paid her. "Too many for too long and you won't need to worry about them anymore."
I had stared darkly at the pouch she had given me. Did I ever want children? I hoped not.
I went to bed that night without going with the others to drink. I had a feeling Lancelot was going to drink himself into a stupor, and that I didn't care to see. I heard my door opened and I closed my eyes enough so that I looked asleep. Tristan walked to in and looked at me. When he saw that I was asleep he walked back out and carefully closed the door. I did not want to share the night with anyone. Galina had no longer been the dearest of my companions, but she had been my oldest. My last connection with my dead cousin. I hated to think of her giving birth alone in some distant place with out me. My dreams were sad and colorless that night.
Three months passed by with no word from Galina. Finally Arthur came to tell me she was doing fine and that her baby was growing. I smiled as I thought of Galina and how she would be appalled when her stomach grew large. Vain creature. We suddenly were very busy. The woads had grown absurdly bold. How close was the Roman departure I wondered? Arthur became increasingly weary looking. I felt the same way he did at times. I was not yet twenty one and I had until I was twenty eight to be released from Rome's service. The others however, had less than a year.
"Isolde! Getting a head start are we?" Bors asked plopping himself next to me at the bar. I was the first of the knights to start drinking. I had already finished a half of a pitcher of wine, but I wouldn't tell Bors that. I was fairly miserable. Galahad had been moaning about how their discharge papers couldn't come soon enough. I couldn't begrudge him his freedom, but it didn't make me feel any better. I tried not to look so sullen as Gawain and Dagonet sat down with us. Gawain however read me easily.
"Isolde, Galahad didn't mean to be such an ass." He said looking me in the eye.
"I know. I'm fine." I lied. Dagonet put a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"We will miss you. And you will still have Arthur and Galina." Dagonet said with his stern kindness. It was common knowledge that Galina had left on account of Lancelot. I could only imagine how he felt about it. I longed to tell him why she had really left. A man should know that he will soon be father. I thought of Lancelot as a father and shuddered. Poor, poor child.
"We're leaving tomorrow." Lancelot said as he sat down at the table. Ah speak of the devil. "Woads again…"
Bors swore just as Tristan sat down. He looked at my miserable face and gave me an unreadable look. Eventually Galahad and Arthur joined us and I forgot my sorrows. I would not ruin their night by acting like a spoilt child. I stayed late into the night until I could no longer taste whether I was drinking ale or wine. I stumbled back to my bed and threw off my clothes. I was a solitary creature at many times, but I loved my friends. My brothers. I would miss them more than I could ever say. I looked up groggily as Tristan entered the room. He looked at me laying in my undergarments and my bitter expression and began to take off his tunic. I was vaguely surprised. We usually left each other alone when the other was not in a good mood. I didn't protest when he laid next to me and kissed me though. It felt good to be wanted, and it also felt good to have the man I wanted in my bed. He was rugged and dangerous. The best type of lover. He pulled away for a moment and locked eyes with me.
"Six months." He said. "It's a long time."
I could only nod for a number of reasons. A long time to whom? To men who were waiting on freedom, it was a long time indeed. For me, it would pass too quickly.
"Hey." He said and kissed me lightly. I gave him the smile I gave to no one else and he traced my lips with his thumb. The perpetual frown was still there, but it was slightly tender. I felt like his hawk, just waiting to be petted. I laid a pale kiss on one of his tattoos. They were not his only markings I had discovered, but they were my favorites. I let my fingers trace the one I knew to be on his shoulder blade. He laid his head on my chest under my neck and I kept tracing.
"Tristan." I said. He made a sound to show he was listening but I didn't speak for a few more minutes. When I finally did, I gently combed his hair away from his face. I didn't want him to hide from me. He liked it when my fingers ran through his hair.I could tell by the wayhe always closed his eyes when I did it. It reminded me of Galina and how much I loved her to play with my hair. I smiled sadly and continued combing his hair against the way it grew. "What do they mean?"
I laid a finger on his cheek as I asked so he knew what I meant. I moved my hand to the hair at the nape of his neck and began weaving my fingers through it. He was silent for a moment. Our kind often had swirling tattoos of animals covering our bodies, but the black slashes on his face puzzled me. I had once had a horse on one of my legs, but it had faded to a pale shadow. A ghost of my old life.
"Brought down a bear once. He gave me this." He said and moved my hand down to his side where a scar ran. It was from his rib cage to his hipbone, but it was no longer red and angry. It had faded to a mere seam in his skin. I almost sighed exasperatedly. Only a man like Tristan would tattoo his face to honor an animal that had nearly mauled him to death. I could understand it though. For some reason, it had meant something to him. I could almost picture him looking the bear in the eyes, daring it to attack him. I shifted myself and kissed the strange man. He grabbed my arm once again and threw it around his shoulders before kissing back.
Another three months had passed when Arthur suddenly slipped into my room. I was up in an instant.
"Galina gave birth." He said. I was relieved to notice no sorrow in his features.
"She wasn't pregnant for eight months." I said trying to control my panic. I had planned on asking Arthur to visit her in her ninth month to be there for the birth. I grimaced thinking of her giving birth with out me there to hold her hand. All alone…
"It was a hard birth, but she'll live." He said seeing my face.
"And the child?"
"Healthy as well. A boy." He said and I saw a bit of pride flit across his face. I smiled as well. A healthy child. My oldest companion was a mother. Lancelot was now the father of a healthy boy child. I looked at Arthur suddenly with a question on my face. He sighed.
"It is her decision." He said. "She says she's not coming back Isolde."
"She can't hide forever." I said firmly. It would be even harder coming back. Lancelot had long abandoned his love for her. He was taking just as many women to his bed as he had before he had taken Galina as his lover.
"I want you to go fetch her." He said quietly. "Not now though, give her time. In two months you can go south."
I nodded. I had never been without Galina for this long before. I hadn't realized how much I missed her.
Yeah I know I'm awful at skipping random large parts of time but I have such a short attention span. I get bored with the same part of a story! REVIEW
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