Wow! Really, Really sorry! I've been grounded… Bad grades…Yeah. Anyways updates will be back to normal pretty much.

Blue eyes at night- Hahahahaha that made me feel a lot better! That's the longest review I've ever had! And you were correct on like 3 or 4 of those theories…But shhhh don't tell!

Lioness1- Me too! Plus I'd be rich now!

Mondieu66- She's one of the knights, but Galina is different. She sets herself apart sometimes. She's an altogether sad yet sweet character.

Katemary77- Yeah I know! I'm trying to speed along to where I can make it interesting though!


As soon as we reached the bar, Gawain, Bors, Tristan, Lancelot, Galahad and Dagonet proceeded to intoxicate themselves as quickly as possible. They sat down, sighed for a few moments while savoring their new found freedom, and then promptly downed copious amounts of ale. I myself accepted a large pitcher from Vanora who gave me an understanding look. While I didn't mind her kindness, the last thing I wanted was to bring attention my sullenness so I said nothing. I quietly tipped my drink back and welcomed the burning sensation that surged down my throat.

I considered myself to be quite stoic. Bodily pain could be brushed aside mostly, and one could become immune to emotional pain to a certain extent. But when I could not push away pain, I found that I did not handle it well. I longed to have my friends with me forever. We all sat together for a while until we drifted to various places in the open yard. Bors and Dagonet made their way to the back where Vanora immediately shoved the newest addition to the family into the arms of Bors. Lancelot sauntered off to a table with a few Roman soldiers for a little of what he referred to as "friendly accumulation" which consisted of a combination of threats and large amounts of alcohol added to a bit of gambling. I sat next to Galina at a table with Galahad and Gawain. Jols and Tristan stood nearby. I raised an eyebrow as Gawain motioned a moonfaced girl over to sit in his lap.

"I thought you were smitten with the idea of your beautiful Sarmatian woman Gawain." I said amiably. He gave me a bear like grin and reached for his drink.

"Pig." Galina said with mock disgust. Her eyes wandered over to Lancelot again. I wondered what inner turmoil was ravaging her at that moment. She loved Lancelot with a love so great I could never understand it, and I had no doubt that bearing his child has only increased it. I thought of the smiling babe and a strange urge came over me. It was the oddest feeling… For a moment it had seemed that having a child was not the end of the world. That perhaps the added responsibilities would not kill me or take away my freedom. I had almost desired to have a baby of my own. I shivered at the strange feeling.

"Good gods." I said as I jerked back into reality. The gentle music in the background had shifted to a lively tune. Galina had stood up and was doing a jig. I watched smilingly as she lifted her dress hem up to her calves to free her feet. Her soft soled feet moved to and fro in a pattern. Gawain and Galahad were clapping their hands while Tristan and Jols looked on. Galina's face shone with merriment as danced and I wondered how Lancelot could not love her the way she loved him. I yelped as Galahad picked me up and tossed me out towards her. A few people were watching but we had not yet caused a scene. I picked up my own skirt and joined in. My frame was not as lithe and graceful as hers, but I liked to think I was no terrible sight. We laughed as we stopped dancing and she kissed my cheek fondly. My hair was flailing hopelessly out of its braids and I couldn't wipe the huge smile off my face. I laughed and fell against Tristan. I looked up happily at his face which sported an amused smile and kissed him. He draped the arm holding his drink around me and leaned over to kiss me deeper. I came away with the taste of wine on my lips. I was panting slightly from dancing and kissing as I turned around and let him pull me against his chest.

"Isolde…" Galina said confusedly and I winced. Everyone knew of mine and the scout's relationship but her. I knew she would be hurt that I did not let her in on that part of my life, but I had not known how to explain it to anyone. And it had been something that belonged to Tristan and I alone. I had not wanted to cheapen it by…I didn't really know why I hadn't shared it with anyone.

"We share a bed." Tristan said saving me. He said it as if it mattered little and merely tightened his hold around me. Galina gave me a look that promised more questions later, but continued on watching Lancelot.

"Hey, hey Gawain…" Galahad laughed drunkenly as he and Gawain started throwing knives at a target. "You remember that woman from the village where we had to kill that cow?"

Gawain wheezed laughingly in response. The moonfaced girl migrated over to Galahad's lap after he threw his blade and lovingly returned to his wine.

"And she-And she kept licking your ear all night?" Galahad said as he nearly pissed on himself.

Galahad cackled drunkenly and set his blade on his boot. He flung it upwards, caught it, and nailed it into the target and laughed even harder.

"She gave me fleas!" He laughed as his eyes streamed.

"You'd better hope they're fleas!" Galahad choked out. I sagged against Tristan as I laughed.

"Oh gods Gawain! I'm never kissing you again." I said catching my breath.

"We'll see. One day you're going to want real affection and you'll come running to brave handsome Gawain's bed. I may even marry you." He said self-assuredly. Tristan actually chuckled as if it was ridiculous. I looked back at him.

"What do you care? When I return to Sarmatia I may just make my way to Gawain's home." I said even as I played my fingers across the back of his neck. He loved it and I knew it nearly drove him mad. He hmphed and began cutting into an apple he had nicked from somewhere.

"See if you can best that!" Gawain challenged Galahad loudly. Galahad shook himself pompously and concentrated on the board for a moment. I snorted loudly at his pathetic attempt at looking serious and he glared at me. He threw the blade which landed relatively near Gawain's. Gawain blew a raspberry and allowed the pale girl to rub his shoulders. Tristan slid away and flung a knife at the board. I smiled as it thudded into Galahad's hilt. He made a pleased sound and took a bite of his apple.

"Tristan, how do you do that?" Gawain asked stunned. Tristan's face was somber as he pointed towards his blade.

"I aim for the middle." He straightened back up and looked quite pleased with himself.

"Drunk are we?" I asked him as he walked back over. He took another bite and stared at me levelly.

"Shut up!" I heard Bors roar. He shoved Vanora forward. "Vanora will sing."

She looked torn between clouting Bors and running away. There were numerous cries of 'Sing!' and she blushed charmingly. I shook my head and smiled.

"Sing about home!" Galahad pleaded. Sometimes I wondered how the man was like a lion on the battlefield, and then managed to turn into a sappy whelp when his armor was removed.

"Don't drop the baby!" Gawain threw in unnecessarily. Vanora stepped out into the open space and fixed her eyes on number eleven. She smiled lovingly at him and opened her mouth to sing.

Land of bear and land of eagle
Land that gave us birth and blessing
Land that pulled us ever homewards
We will go home across the mountains

We will go home
We will go home
We will go home across the mountains

We will go home, singing our song
We will go home...

I watched the faces of my friends as Vanora's voice rang out in the yard. Lancelot stared stonily into his cup while Bors' face was lit up in a way I had never seen. Gawain looked off into the distance and Galahad mouthed the words of the song to himself. Dagonet's tears struck a cord in me. It was Tristan's face that truly mirrored my own feelings. Some of the men were desperate to go home, while the others were just thankful to be free. Tristan didn't mind the idea of home, but he didn't know what to do with himself. Freedom affects all men though and I knew he was grateful for it. I wondered if I would ever see them again. Of course I would. Something inside me told me that I would be with these men for many years to come. I would grow old with them.

Hear our singing
Hear our longing
We will go home across the mountain

We will go home
We will go home...

As the song ended I saw people rush to dry their eyes. I looked at Galina and noticed suddenly that she looked ill. Her jaw was clenched tightly and all the color had drained from her face. I took the moment to assess her health. Her face was sunken and boney, but still lovely. Her eyes no longer held the same spark that they used to. When she looked at me with her fawn colored eyes, she wasn't the naïve, laughing girl she had once been. She reminded me of a wounded doe I had seen once. I looked away quickly and my eyes landed on Arthur. His face looked haunted as he watched us. My leader quickly turned and began to walk away, but before he could get far Jols noticed him.

"Arthur!" The squire called and Arthur froze. I felt the wind change and glide across my skin ominously.

"Arthur!" Galahad called gleefully. Drunken men were not what Arthur had hoped to find. He didn't seem surprised though. Galina walked over and stood next to me as we clustered around our commander. I suddenly was afraid. I wanted to hold Galina's hand for comfort in hopes that some of her tranquility would spread to me, but I resisted the urge for reasons of pride.

"You're not completely Roman yet are you?" Galahad asked with no real hatred. He held up his pitcher of wine in an offering and grinned madly.

"Rus!" Bors said and thudded his fist against his chest in one of the obnoxious rituals of men that I would never understand.

I didn't look at Tristan, but my ears picked up on the sound of him cutting into an apple. I knew he would not be smiling, and I could see that Galina and Lancelot were aware of the morbid look on Arthur's face.

"Knights. Brothers in arms." Arthur said looking each of the men directly in eyes. That should have immediately alerted the men to a problem. He was directing his calm, reasonable voice exclusively at those who had just been awarded their freedom. "Your courage has been tested beyond all limits, but I must ask of you one further trial."

The idea was so outrageous that the men didn't believe him. I watched every pained flinch of his person and the sheer agony in his eyes. How could they not see it?

"Drink." Bors said it was obvious. They chuckled and Galahad continued to laugh, drunk on freedom.

"We must leave on a final mission for Rome before our freedom can be granted."

More laughing. No…No…

"Above the wall there is a Roman family in need of rescue. They are trapped by Saxons. Our orders are to secure their safety." He said steadily. The emphasis on the fact that it was an order relieved me. It wasn't just some mad, noble task Arthur had been convicted to carry out.

"Let the Romans take care of their own." Bors said dismissively. If only.

"Above the wall is woad territory." Gawain stated with a slight edge to his drunken voice.

"Our duty to Rome, if it was ever a duty, is done. Our pact with Rome is done." Galahad's voice was laced with bitterness as he scathingly said the words. I couldn't help agreeing with him. It was not some duty we did out of honor, it was slavery. And their fifteen years were up.

"Every knight here has laid his life on the line for you. For you.
And instead of freedom, you want more blood? Our blood?
You think more of Roman blood than you do ours?" Bors asked loudly and I knew he was about to explode in a rage. My eyes never left Arthur though.

"Bors, these are our orders." Arthur said wearily. "We leave at first light and when we return, your freedom will be waiting for you. A freedom we can embrace with honor-"

"I am a free man!" Bors roared and I winced. "I will choose my own fate."

There was a tense silence for a moment and I heard the cry of an infant.

"Yeah yeah- We're all going to die someday." Tristan said scornfully. "If it's a death by a Saxon hand that frightens you," Tristan said scornfully. He looked up and gave them all a look of pure disgust before continuing. "Stay home."

In my eyes, Tristan's mindset was admirable, if disturbing. The man was too comfortable with dying, and it frightened me. I knew suddenly how Galahad and Gawain felt every time they watched me do something reckless. I didn't have time to ponder the hypocritical feeling however.

"If you're so eager to die," Galahad said as he lunged at my lover. Lancelot restrained him forcefully. "Then you can die right now! I've got something to live for!"

"The Romans have broken their word. We have the word of Arthur." Dagonet said, ever the loyal voice of reason. "That is good enough. I'll prepare."

He began to walk off and suddenly it was too much. I needed to get away from them. I knew they would all join us. For all their harsh words, they were too loyal to Arthur to do anything else. Plus they had no choice. I began walking in the opposite direction and I touched Arthur's arm as I passed to let him know I was with him. I made my way back to the barracks and stepped into Galina's room. The golden little boy was laying on her bed wide eyed. His eyes were red with crying.

"Hungry?" I asked as I look him in my arms. "I can't help you there."

I cuddled him and smelled his cheek. The soft baby smell clouded my senses wonderfully. I turned around as I felt a presence in the doorway. Tristan stood there and scrutinized me. He walked over and lent the child a finger to grasp. Geraint gripped the finger and smiled at the two of us.

"Like children now?" Tristan asked.

"They aren't so bad when they're like this." I said simply. I suddenly remembered the words of the young woman who supplied with me my herbs. "I doubt I can even have children anymore though. The herbs you know…"

I felt him look at me.

"Herbs aren't necessary." He said quietly.

"Not anymore." I shrugged. It was our last night and I didn't know if I would find another suitable lover for a while. He didn't say anything for a moment. He grunted and left the room. The man mystified me sometimes. I played with Geraint until his mother returned. We embraced for a moment and they Galina took her child in her arms and devoted her attentions to him. I made my way to my room. I had not slept in it in months. I let my hair down completely and wiped off my kohl lined eyes. What the others felt, I knew not. I myself was peaceful. Whatever fate awaited us, worrying about it would not change it. Plus I was never too distressed about going into battle. I made sure I had all my weapons ready for in the morning and then went to Tristan's room.

"Very pretty." I said mockingly as I found him touching up his tattoos. He ignored me and continued. "Tristan…Many things are worth dying for, but have you ever thought anything was worth living for?"

He paused in his ministrations to his face and then continued. I waited until he was finished and he set down his ink.

"Yes."

I waited for an elaboration. A blank stare was all I received.

"You're exasperating."

"Yes."

"Well Galahad and Gawain have politely requested that I not get myself killed. I'd like for you to try and stay alive too."

A raised eyebrow.

"I mean I know it's asking a lot…" I said annoyedly. He looked as if he had suddenly made up his mind about something. He picked up his ink again and made me lie down. I stared at the needle and ink pouch for a moment. His hand went forward and tilted my chin upwards and to the left, exposing my ear and neck. I didn't protest as he leaned forward and began to put a mark on the flesh below my ear next to my jaw. I stared at the fire as he tapped the needle into my skin repeatedly. I knew was mark he was leaving on me. I knew in the morning I would I have two claw marks below my ear and I knew they would match Tristan's.


Hope yall like it! Review! I made it extra long as an apology.