Author's Note: I guess I should have noted earlier that this is more in tune with the Academy books. I know that in Zahn's Spector of the Past and Visions of the Future, Jaina was nine and a half. So technically, Mara and Luke should be married in this, but it didn't really fit with how I wanted the story to go.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars and I am not responsible for the sanity of the characters.

Hey Dad…

Chapter 2: Points B-E

"AAAHHHH!"

As we found out in the last chapter, Han is not having a good day. You see, the former smuggler turned Rebel hero was about to experience one of the most excruciating events of his life.

Han Solo was going to go shopping for bras and menstrual items with his twelve-year old daughter.

Somewhere across the vastness of the known galaxy on that certain insignificant planet, Leia Organa Solo gave a shudder (some premonition of the Force obviously). She sat quite still for several seconds before shaking it off and going back to work.

The Corellian finally calmed down (slightly) as he walked out of the closet. He walked back into the kitchen and picked up his comlink. For you see, our favorite Non-Jedi hero was not about to venture out into the world of feminine hygiene alone. He took a deep breath to calm himself before placing the call.

"Chewie! Where in the seven Corellian hells are you!"

Nothing.

"CHEWIE!"

Nothing.

Han Solo muttered a curse as he prepared to yell into the comlink again. Fortunately for us, we are spared the raging screams of a desperate Han because Chewbacca finally (and reluctantly) answered.

"Rwwarrrow?" (Translation: What?)

"Chewie I need a favor," Han said sweetly (very scary, coming from Han).

"Awwwrrruu rrhha grraaaw," Chewie shot back. (Translation: I'm not going with you.)

"Chewie!"

"Grww raw mrawwrowwww?" (Translation: Do I look stupid?)

"Dammit Chewie! Get your furry Wookiee hide over here!"

"Wwwwrrraaahhhhhh!" (Translation: Nnnoooooo!) Chewbacca went on to inform the desperate Corellian that he and Jacen had taken a shuttle off planet. (They were tempted to run away in the Falcon, however, we all know how Han would have reacted to that one.)

"Chewie you son of a bantha! I'll…"

Click.

Chewbacca hung up on him. Han stared at the comlink. That furry son of a…he actually hung up on ME! Han decided that the Wookiee would face a slow and painful death when he and Jacen finally returned. But until then…

What the hell was he supposed to do?"

Jaina peeked around the corner. The young girl had slipped out of the bathroom and tiptoed to the kitchen. She craned her neck to see what her father would do next. She hoped he would hurry up and just get it over with (the shopping part that is).

Han sighed and was about to go get Jaina when a light bulb flashed in his head. He rushed over to their computer and pulled up a list of every female he knew. Hope rose in him as he checked to see if any of them were on Coruscant. In a cruel twist of fate, only one was.

Mara Jade.

Han stared at his comlink and wondered if he had a death wish that day. Normally he wouldn't ask, but… Surely Mara would take pity on Jaina (Him, dammit, Him!) Han muttered a prayer to the gods of gambling and luck (Is there really such a thing?) as he contacted her. Surely just this one time…

"What the hell do you want Solo?" (Ah, good old Mara Jade.)

"I need your help," Han admitted miserably. Where ever she was, Mara raised an eyebrow. She had caught the tinge of desperation in Solo's voice.

"You need my help? With what?" This ought to be good, she thought.

"I need you to um…shop with…Jaina?" It somehow ended up coming out as a question.

"Shop?" Mara could hardly believe what she was hearing.

"Yeah…uh…you see…Leia's sort of not here…and..uh…um…well you know it's that…uh…"

"Spit it out Solo."

"Well….Jaina, you know…uh…she needs…it's that time for…"

"I'm hanging up Solo."

"No! Wait!"

"Bye Solo."

"Jainahasherperiodandsheneedsabra!" (Translation: Jaina has her period and she needs a bra!)

Silence.

Silence.

"Mara?" Han asked cautiously.

"Solo…"

Hope rose in the Corellian's chest. Surely she wouldn't turn Jaina down…

"You will?" he asked.

"No."

"WHAT?"

"Solo, let me put it to you in simple terms so that your feeble mind can comprehend. N. O."

"Dammit Mara…!"

"Suck it up Solo. Everyone needs a little humiliation now and then. Think of it as a father, daughter bonding thing."

"Mara I'll…"

Click.

Mara Jade was the second person to hang up on him today.

Han stared at the comlink.

"OF ALL THE CENSORE CENSORE CENSORE SITHSPAWN! CENSORE CENSORE CENSORE!" (Censored by the Coruscant Safety Commission)

Jaina covered her sensitive young ears.

Han took several deep breaths before giving a heavy sigh. It would appear that our hero had no other choice than to go forth into estrogen land. Alone.

Han cursed the Corellian gods of gambling and luck. (Maybe they really do exist.)

Han turned around to see Jaina staring wide eyed at him. His face turned a deep purplish-red as he asked.

"Did you…uh…hear all that?"

Jaina nodded her head.

Oops. Leia was going to kill him. (No foul language in front of the children, Dear!)

"Well, uh…forget everything you heard," Han said. (Yeah, like that will work Han.)

Jaina stared at him.

"Well, uh…" Han stammered. "I guess…we should get ready to go…"

Jaina disappeared into her bedroom to get ready and the Corellian sank down into a chair.

Sithspawn.

Han stared at the comlink in his hand as another light bulb flashed in his head.

Blackmail.

The Corellian would blackmail someone into going with him. But who?

The doors to the Solo residence swished open as Jedi Master Luke Skywalker made his (soon to be unfortunate) entrance.

Han smile wickedly.

…………………………………………………………

Mara Jade switched off the comlink. She stared at it for several long seconds before a laugh rose in her throat.

Solo was going to go shopping.

Solo was going to go shopping for bras and menstrual items.

This was just too good to pass up, (Information such as this must be shared of course.) so Mara switched the comlink back on as she contacted a third party.

"Mara?" A deep male voice asked.

"How's your day going Karrde?"

"It could be better, why?"

Mara Jade smiled wickedly.

……………………………………

Next Chapter: The Blackmail of Luke Skywalker