Hey Dad...

Chptom. 6: Step 2, Finding a Bra

Let's briefly review the events of our story thus far:

A. Jaina Solo discovers that she has reached that awkward stage of female puberty.
B. Han Solo is thrown head first into any male's nightmare.
C. Chewbacca wisely escapes with Jacen and Mara Jade "declines" to help.
D. Enter Talon Karrde, the information extraordinare.
E. Luke Skywalker is blackmailed on account of an unfortunate drunken incident.
F. Tampons, pads, and condoms G. Enter Lando Calrissian H. Beware of lingerie stores I. Obi-wan and Anakin tag along.
J. Jabba's Fashion Mart?
K. The Sexy Knights (A must see shopping experience for any Jedi Knight)
L. Our heroes have now entered Old Republic Fashions...

Han and Luke stared at the women's section from behind a conveniently placed rack of shoes. Jaina fidgeted impatiently at their side as they debated on a battle strategy. Obi-wan simply shook his head at them while Anakin amused himself by wondering which shoes Padme would like best. (He rather liked a pair of red high-heeled boots, but somehow doubted that she would ever have worn them.)

"Okay, so now what Oh Fearless Leader?" Luke asked sarcastically.

"First, number one," Han said, "I am not fearless right now. I have plenty of fear. And number two, we need a disguise." Luke gave him a dumb look.

"Disguise?" he asked flatly.

"Yeah, you know, use one of your Force illusions!" The Jedi Master in Luke briefly took control of the embarrassed farm boy.

"Han, no."

"Why not?"

"Number one, a Jedi can't use the Force for a trivial personal problem, and number two, I'm trying to cut down on my use of the Force to solve every problem."

"And number three, this humiliating experience will make us grow, right?" Han asked sarcastically.

"Let's hope."

Han grumbled for a long moment as he and Luke stared at the women's section again. Jaina sighed and began playing with the shoes in front of her. She accidentally knocked down the pair of shoes that her grandfather had been admiring. Han cast one glance and them and smirked.

"Those look like hooker boots," he cracked. (Anakin! For shame!) Anakin gave his son-in-law a moody look. (Well you can't really fault him I guess, Anakin wouldn't know what hookers wear.)

Obi-wan leaned over and whispered to a scowling Anakin.

"I don't think they're your size."

Anakin simply glared back at his former master, not being able to come up with a smart remark.

"Come on Kid!" Han interrupted the two dead Jedi. "Just this once?"

"No," Luke said flatly.

"Okay then, tomorrow every tabloid will be showing a picture of Han Solo and Jedi Master Luke Skywalker in the bra and panty section of this stupid bantha infested store." (Bantha infested?)

Luke's eyes widened slightly as he thought about that. Han had a good point. However, he was a Jedi Master first...

"If, if I do this, what kind of disguise were you thinking of?"

"Oh, I don't know, I'd kind of figured that you could disguise yourself as a woman. It'd look kinda funny for a man to be in there," Han replied nonchalantly.

"WHAT!" Luke glared at the Corellian. No way in hell was he...

"How about YOU go as the woman?" he asked. His dead father glared hard at the two younger men before him before finally yelling.

"NO SON OR SON-IN-LAW OF MINE IS GOING TO CROSSDRESS!" He bellowed. Even though Luke and Han couldn't hear Ani, they both suddenly felt a shiver run up their spine. Obi-wan silently agreed with the now irate Skywalker.

"Uh...maybe we shouldn't do that," Han amended. "I've suddenly got a bad feeling about it."

"DAMN RIGHT YOU SHOULD!" Anakin yelled. (Anger is for the Dark Side Ani.)

"So...now what?" Han asked. Luke gave a huge sigh before staring bleakly at a row of white lacy bras.

"We go."

"As ourselves?"

"Unfortunately yes."

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Karrde and Lando were hanging onto their chairs for support as they laughed hysterically. They had heard every word that had passed between our unfortunate duo.

"They...were going to go as women?" Lando gasped between laughs.

"Too bad they decided not to!" Karrde laughed. "That would have been perfect blackmail!"

"You're recording this, aren't you Ghent?" they asked. Ghent gave a slightly embarrassed smile to the (slightly) inebriated Karrde and Calrissian.

"Yes," he answered.

"So far, this has been a very good day," Karrde chuckled. Lando took another drink of wine. He smelled profits in the air.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Our two reluctant heroes and a very reluctant twelve-year old girl stared wide eyed around them. Row upon row upon row of bras and panties met their eye. It was if they had entered an estrogen Twilight zone.

"Whoa..." Luke muttered. Both he and Han were at a loss at where to start. Obi-wan and Anakin again thanked the Force that they never had to deal with anything like this.

A farmboy blush grew across Luke's face as he stared at a large D cup in front of him. Anakin took this opportunity to get Obi-wan back for his earlier remark.

"I don't think it's your size Master," he said. Obi-wan glared back at him. The old man pushed down the impulse to shake his fist at the former Sith.

"Insolent Padawan..."

"Insolent Former Padawan," Anakin corrected. Obi-wan grumbled incoherently to himself. (I guess even dead Jedi don't really grow up.)

As a desperate Han and Luke looked around them with sinking hope, two things happened that made them sweat.

1. A very well-endowed Twi'lek saleswoman (in a tight fitting, low cut blouse) had spotted them and was heading their way.
2. Luke suddenly sensed that Mara Jade was in the store.

Oh dear oh dear, what's going to happen now?

"FOR THE LAST TIME ANAKIN, I WAS NOT STARING DOWN HER SHIRT!"

Oh dear.