A/N: ok, sry, i no it's been like 4eva since i updated this one, but it's the only 1 that i don't have finished yet..... so cut me some slack ne? okay, after this i don't really have ideas.... scratch that Aku gave me an idea for chappie 6, ideas for chappie 7 r welcomed!! totally, if u have an idea that u think is like way good, then review it to me!!! i'll see what i can do with it and play with it.... so REVIEW it to me.... and all u people who don't have an idea, u can still review to tell me how it was, and sry about the abrupt ending it has, but i couldn't think of anything and the ten pages were pretty much filled. btw everything i tell u about my parents in here, is absolutely TRUE. yes, as scary as it is, it's all true......

don't own

Chappie 5

"We're back......" Kitty and Ducky-dono sounded a little depressed.

"We never got to elope......." they sighed together.

"But!!! Now I can go after Aoshi-Sama again!!!" Ducky-dono yelled triumphantly.

"Mou, Ducky-dono!! You've been back for like ten seconds and you're already chasing poor Aoshi!!" Wolfie chided.

"Your point, oh purring dreamer?" she teased. Wolfie blushed and shuffled her feet a little bit.

"I don't know how you could like anyone who says that TOMOE is hot!! That is just wrong!!! She is such a bitch and i just want to chop her into little pieces in a very grosetque scene!!!!" Ducky-dono yelled, taking the long stick she'd beat Shirmpy down with and repeatedly smacking it on the floor.

"ORO?!" Kenshin said.

"Oh, oppsies! I forgot she was your wife. You had really bad tastes!!! She is such a fag!!!!!!! UGH!!!!! I HATE HER!!!!!!!! I LOATHE HER, WITH A PASSION!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, "I mean, Kaoru on the other hand. That is great taste!! I mean I love the way she gets pissed off and kicks everyone's ass!!! It's the best!!!"

"Ororororo......."

"I think I like this Ducky-dono," Kaoru whispered.

"Ducky!!! I think you should stop before you kill Kenshin!!" Wolfie told her.

"Oppsies again!! I really didn't mean it....... well actually I meant every word, but don't take it personal......"

"Ducky, you're hopeless......." Shorty pointed out.

"But that's why you love me, ne Kitty?"

"But of course!! That and you're good in be-"

"NO MORE CRUDE SEXUAL TERMS!!!!!!!!!" Shorty shouted.

"Hey, where's Kitsune? I thought that she would attack me as soon as I got bac-"

"DUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kitsune yelled, bounding towards her with her arms outstretched.

"KITSUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ducky-dono yelled louder, her arms also outstretched.

"Oh, brother........." Shorty sighed as the two embraced.

"What's wrong?"

"They are so loud all the time..... I think I should start calling her 'loud mouth.'"

"I heard that!!!!!" Ducky-dono said, smacking her arm.

"What the shuck was that for?!" she asked, smacking her right back.

"For calling me loud!!!!"

"But it's the truth!!"

"I know," she siad.

"Then why the shuck did you hit me?!"

"Because........"

"Okay, you two knock it off," Wolfie told them.

"Stay out of it!!!! You have no place in this little squabble (that sounds like a word that Mr. Jarosz would say..), for you like someone who thinks TOMOE, of all the real hot people out there, IS HOT!!!!!!!" Ducky-dono yelled at her.

"Okay, I'll just sit over here, next to Kenshin....." she sighed in defeat, inching closer to the swordsmen.

"Hey!!! He's mine!!!!!!" Kitty came over.

"NO!!!!!!! All of you are wrong!!!! He's MINE!!!" Kaoru corrected them. Each were tugging on one of his limbs.

"Let go of him!!!" Kaoru shrieked.

"Orororororororo........"

"What about me?!" Wolfie demanded, "I want him too!"

"Not as much as I do!!!!!" Kaoru yelled.

"Have you all forgotten about me?!" Kitty asked.

"Maa, maa ladies....." Kenshin tried to soothe.

"SHUT UP!!!!"

"My, my, if we aren't the rowdy crowd!!" an unfamiliar female's voice called.

"MOM?!" Ducky-dono asked skeptically.

"Hello sweetheart!!" she greeted.

"So this isn't just some cruel joke that my crazy mind came up with?"

"No, you're father's here too. Who are all these people? I know Kitty, Kitsune, Wolfie, Momiji, and Haru (yup, she met u when u helped me outta math when i was, uh, crippled, yes a gimp, haru....) but who are they?" she pointed to the RK cast.

"Oh, put it together mommy!!! I mean, even dad knows," Ducky-dono sighed.

"Oh, god...." he uttered, "These people are from that freaking anime show and books."

"See, I knew that you would figure it out," she smiled.

"So what are they doing here?" and her smile fell.

"I brought them!!" Kitsune covered her ass.

"That's nice, dear," she said.

"Alright, bye-bye now, mom, dad," Ducky-dono bid them.

"Okay, come on honey........" she led him into the bedroom. (kitty; then they went upstairs and did some stuff, wink)

"Ewwwww!! Do they have to do that now?" Ducky-dono asked disgusted.

"Do they do that often?"

"Well, they did do it once while I was home........ and it was really......... akward," she answered. (true story!!!!)

"Yuck!! Really?"

"Unfortunately yes," she sighed, placing her hand on her head.

"Poor Ducky," Wolfie sympathized.

"Uh huh, you wouldn't believe the stuff my parents do, especially my mom with that song, 'Wild Thing'," she said with a shudder.

"And that would be?" Ducky-dono sighed before answering.

"Okay, let us all venture to my bathroom for a second. I was standing there brushing my hair, ne? And she had that song blasting. Notice the doorway and how it has a frame. Well, long story short she stood there dancing, well, provacativly all the while saying, 'Oh, if only I had a pole, B!' Tell me you're as disgusted as I am," Ducky-dono finished.

"Eww!! You're mom is weird, Ducky," Kitsune said.

"You said it. It's even worse when she and my father are together. I know that half of it's fake, and just to freak me out, but...... uh!"

"So?"

"Do I have to tell you?"

"Of course you do," Aoshi said. Ducky-dono beamed.

"I'll do anything for you Aoshi-Sama!!!" she said enthusiastically.

"Then tell it," Kaoru said with a sigh.

"Okay. I'll just give a few examples. One, my parents were in the kitchen, my father had just gotten home from work. He had pulled his belt of and had it in his hand. I walked in. They exchanged this look and then..........."

"Yes?"

"And then he smacked her......... dare yare with it and my mother, uh......... she kinda moaned and said, 'Oh, baby, do it again!!' And that is example one of the weirdness," she conclueded.

"Oh, my I'm glad my parents aren't that weird," Shorty said.

"Can't say the same for poor Kitsune, since her dad likes to cos-play as Batman when she's on the phone. Batman, returns!!!!!!!"

"Yep, I remember, I was on the phone with her," Shorty added.

"I don't remember my parents being anything like that....." Kaoru mused.

"No, me neither," Kenshin agreed.

"Damn, Hiko, that's the third time you've beaten me!!" Sano swore.

"Face it rooster, you weren't made for poker," Misao observed.

"Shut it weasel girl!!"

"So, Yahiko-chan, what were you and Hiko doing this whole time?" Kaoru asked, noticing they were back.

"Checking out real chicks. Seeing as no one here really qualifies as a girl," he said with a chuckle. A bokken hit his head and at the same time, a kunai enlodged itself in the back of his head, a pair of hands were strangling him, a shriken connected with his forehead, and someone smacked him.

Okay, bokken belonged to Kaoru, kunai to Misao, strangling hands to Ducky-dono, shriken to Kitsune, and the smack belonging to Shorty. Wolfie and Aku Naraku watched in amusement. Kitty had disappeared, last seen with Soujiro. Haru was hanging on Sano as he played dice with Hiko, listening to Ducky-dono's tales.

"And there's more........" Ducky-dono whispered to herself.

"Nani?" Kaoru asked.

"Nothing!!" she said a little too quickly.

"You lie! There's another story you're not telling," Misao accused.

"Come on! You don't want to hear more perverted stories about........ my parents of all people, do you?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes," Aoshi answered. Again she beamed.

"Anything for you Aoshi-Sama!!!"

"Then get to it."

"You realize that could be taken in many ways, right?" she asked wickedly.

"Hey!! Quit hitting on my Aoshi-Sama and tell the story!!" Misao yelled angrily.

"Right, right," she sighed and started, "Okay, where to start. My grandparents had just come in from Las Vegas for Christmas. My parents gave up their room for them. My room has a bunk bed, a double on the bottom and a twin on top. Well, I was on break so I wasn't going to be until like, I dunno one in the morning, usually later, so they were already in bed by the time I came in. They were usually still awake though, so they thought they'd have a little fun my teasing me. So I crawled into my bed closed my eyes. I was just about to fall asleep when I hear, dun, dun, dun. Shorty you do, you're good at it."

"Dun, dun, dun," she said very professionally.

"Okay, as I was saying, I started hearing noises....... suspicious noises at that. They were...... moaning. I was disgusted. 'Oh, honey....' my mommy moans out. Shit that was the scariest thing I've ever experienced in my whole fraken-"

"Shuckin'" Shorty said.

"Life. Okay, the top bar on my bed makes a whole bunch of loud noises. I started yanking on it to let them know that I was there.

'HELLO?! Stop it!!! Not on my bed!!!' I yelled at them. And ya know what they did? They laughed! The effers laughed at me!!" she whined in conclusion.

"Wow," was all Kaoru had to say.

"Kitty!!! Did you hear that?!" Ducky-dono called.

"Yeah!!! And I feel bad for you!!!" she answered, coming out of the bathroom, Soujiro following.

"What exactly were you two doing in there?" Wolfie asked, suspicious.

"We were playing with Shrimpy's play-doh," she answered. And as if to prove her statement, she pulled out black and pink play-doh.

"PLAY-DOH!!!!!!!!! I LOVE PLAY-DOH!!!!!!!" Kitsune screamed, stealing it from her.

"Well, apparently she likes play-doh," Aku Naraku observed.

"Yes, she does. And while she's distracted......." Haru said, an evil glint in her eye, "Oh, Sano........."

"Haru, Aoshi-Sama is way better than Sano and you know it!" Ducky-dono informed her.

"IS NOT!!!!!!" she argued back.

"AOSHI-SAMA!!!!!"

"SANO!!!!"

"AOSHI-SAMA!!!!!!"

"SANO!!!!!!!!"

"AOSHI-SAMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"

"ENOUGH!!!!!!!" Kaoru yelled.

"Jeez, wonder what's got busu so pissed off, they're just yelling like she does," Yahiko said. A bokken connected with his head.

"Shut up, Yahiko-chan!!!!!!"

"Don't call me -CHAN!!!!!!!!"

"Maa, maa," Kenshin tried to soothe.

"Oh, Kenshin, the way you say that is just soooooo sexy," Wolfie told him, leaning on his muscular frame.

"Oh, no you don't!!!!" Kaoru quickly ended her fight with Yahiko.

"YEAH?!?! WELL I STILL SAY AOSHI-SAMA IS SEXIER THAN SANO!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN LOOK AT ALL THAT HAIR!!!!! DON'T YOU JUST WANT TO TANGLE YOUR FINGERS IN IT?!?!" Ducky-dono screamed (as always) at Haru.

"NO, I DON'T!!!!!!!!!! I'D RATHER HAVE SANO!!!! HE'S A MILLION TIMES HOTTER!!!!!!" she argued back.

"Kitty, back me on this one!!!!" Ducky-dono pleaded with her friend.

"I'm gonna haveta agree with Ducky on this one, Cowie," Kitty sided with her.

"Well, I agree with Haru, Sano is way better than Aoshi," Kitsune took Haru's side. A faint blush appeared on Sano's face, seeing as all these girls were arguing over how hot he was. Aoshi remained as emtionless as ever.

"Shorty, come on, you have to take my side," Ducky-dono pleaded.

"Yes, in fact I do. Aoshi-Sama is hotter than Sano," she nodded her head.

"YOU LOSE!!!!!!!!!! AOSHI-SAMA IS SEXIER AND HOTTER!!!!!!! Although, I don't see the difference in the words 'hot' and 'sexy' but........" she added as an after thought.

"Not fair man!!!" Haru said.

"Nah, nah, nah!!!!!!" Ducky-dono rubbed it in her face.

"Okay, Ducky, be nice now," Haru chided.

"Oh, alright," she sighed.

"That's better," Wolfie noticed, still arguing with Kaoru about Kenshin. It seems that Kitty had now joined the little spat.

"Come on! Just because I was busy playing with play-doh, doesn't mean I don't get Kenshin!!!!!" she argued, "I mean, he's soooooo sexy!!!!"

"Wow....." Ducky-dono said.

"Why are you saying 'wow'? I mean, wasn't it you who just said that Aoshi-Sama was sexy?" Misao asked.

"Aa, true enough."

"See, I was right!!!

"I HATE TOMOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed all of a sudden. (as usual)

"Oro!!"

"WITH A PASSION!!!!!!!! NO, I LOATHE HER!!!!!!!! WITH A GREAT PASSION!!!!!!!!!!" she corrected herself.

"Riku thinks that she's hot," Wolfie reminded her.

"Yes, well that kid has problems!!!!! Major problems!!!!! She is not hot!!!!!! She's a bitch!!!!!!! A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!" she yelled.

"Does that mean you don't like Riku?"

"No! I never said that!!! He's a nice kid and all, but he has PROBLEMS!!!!!!!! As does anyone else who thinks he's hot," she said.

"Oh." was all Wolfie had to say.

"Just because you dream about him," Ducky-dono said slyly, "Doesn't mean we all have to like him. I mean seriously, you were moaning!!! (Aladin!!!!!!!) And purring!!!"

"Hey!! Stop teasing me about it? What about you?" she defended, her cheeks flushed from embarrassment. (or is it embarrassmet? or is it simply your desire is getting out of hand? r u running a fever? the kind of fever that could lead to having children, perhaps?)

"What about me? I don't talk in my sleep, I just snore. So no matter what I dream of Aoshi-Sama doing to me, no one can hear it!" she informed her.

"Yeah huh," she said, disappointed.

"Hey, Shorty, do you remember at Wolfie's party, Phinny-dono was doing Tai Chi and seriously freaking everyone out?" Ducky-dono asked.

"Oh, god yes!! I was right next to her and I was scared!!!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, that's what I thought........"

"So, what to do now?"

"Dunno."

a/n: again sry for da abrupt ending.... but u can drop a review rite under this writin' okies? i luv this story and if u don't review...... i might just have to discontiue it...... so REVIEW!!!!